Nerds need charm too

When I saw the recent report (posted below) about the start of MIT's 19th annual Charm School, the first thought I had was, "If the A+ kids get charm and social skills, what jobs will be left for the C students?" Typically, the top 1% of the class, the brainiest students, become scientists, researchers, professors, while the middle of the class becomes sales people, team leaders, and customer service associates.

What happens if the smarties acquire the social skills--what happens to the middle students?

I am glad the engineers and other brilliant nerds, as they call themselves in the clip, from MIT get access to basic social and etiquette skills. They need it. But, they don't need it more than B and C students and I hope all universities and corporations are paying attention.

B and C students may possess social skills naturally, but they need to hone business etiquette in order to represent themselves and their companies well internally and externally. My first book, Secrets of Seasoned Professionals, captures basics and beyond because damaging a reputation over offenses that could be avoided is unnecessary. (Book on Amazon)

As MIT figured out when it began its Charm School 19 years ago, how you act is as important as what you know. That's true for nerds and C students alike.

After pondering this for a few days, and catching a few episodes of Big Bang Theory, I've concluded that the nerds an be charming, but there will always be a need for the B and C students--there's only so much charm a person can learn.

Bazinga!

Paterno's greatest lesson

Penn State's head football coach Joe Paterno died today. He died just two months since the revelation that he did not prevent a child molester, one of his assistant coaches, from abusing young boys on the part of the campus he was responsible for the last 45+ years.

Paterno was fired in disgrace after reports came out about him ignoring witness reports of sexually abusive behavior taking place in the football team's locker room. Paterno himself admitted to not doing enough to prevent further abuse. The university fired him and severed all media and marketing ties with him. Some are saying he died of a broken heart after being so humiliated by the disgrace of his firing from his beloved university.

Since the child molestation crimes of Penn State's former assistant coach and Paterno's knowledge and acceptance of the molestation have become public knowledge, millions of people are angry at Paterno, but he still has some supporters. There are some people who have said today that "we should let the man rest in peace." Others have said they "will show Paterno the kind of peace he showed the children victimized on his watch: none!"

Within the Penn State family, Paterno was treated as a saint and revered as a man of remarkable character. Outside of Penn State, however, stories about his poor character, rudely offensive behavior, and lack of discipline among his teams are common, if not well known. Paterno's reputation within Penn State and outside of it have always been very different. The difference is even more evident since his lack of action to prevent child molestation became public.

In November, just after the assistant coach was arrested, I blogged about Paterno and others being true to who they are. (blog post) I wrote: Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well. You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.

Now that Paterno has died, I wonder if he ever saw himself for who he really was.

I wonder what went through Paterno's mind during the last few hours of consciousness of his life. I wonder if he prayed and sought forgiveness for allowing the abuse to continue for so many years. I wonder if he hoped his legacy would be the good things he did during his life instead of the revelations of the last two months. I wonder if he was mad at Penn State for severing ties, thinking he didn't deserve it. I wonder if he was at peace with the legacy he leaves behind.

The lesson we can all take from Paterno's death and the recent months is that we should live so the answer about our legacy is clear. And, is desirable.

Whether we're thinking about the legacy of our lives or our departures from our jobs, volunteer leadership positions, or social events, we should live deliberately so there is no doubt about our legacy.

What do you want people to say about you after you leave your current company? Or, department, neighborhood, school, client, networking group, association chapter, or church? If you do not want people cheering your departure, choose your actions accordingly. If you do want people to miss you, remember you fondly, and appreciate your work, choose your actions accordingly.

So, whether you are on a big stage like Paterno was, people in your life will remember you one way or another.

You decide.

Papa John's culture of crass

Have you seen this Papa John's receipt posted by a customer last weekend?

Note the third line from the bottom where next to "Name" an employee entered "lady chinky eyes". The customer tweeted the picture of her receipt along with "Hey @PapaJohns just FYI my name isn't "lady chinky eyes".

The receipt is from Friday (January 6th), it was tweeted Saturday, and Sunday Papa John's issued an apology on its Facebook page.

"This act goes against our company values, and we've confirmed with the franchisee that this matter was addressed immediately and that the employee is being terminated," the pizza company said on its Facebook page. "We are truly sorry for this customer's experience."

Hey @PapaJohns, firing someone does not address the matter.

Why would an employee think that description was acceptable? 

Clearly there is a culture at Papa John's that enabled that employee to think it was acceptable to post such a crass description of the customer.

Do you think that was the only time such a description was used? And, do you think there was just one employee in the entire Papa John's organization speaking about people that way? Do you think firing that employee means the culture is fixed?

I do not. Firing someone does not align the culture with their values.

I'd like to know what Papa John's is doing, if anything, beyond firing someone. Are they doing anything to retrain customer service people? If so, is the training anything beyond admonishments such as, "Do not type physical descriptions on receipts"? The culture issue extends beyond what the employee typed on the receipt. Hopefully, Papa John's knows that and takes steps to fix it.

What do you think: did Papa John's do enough to address the matter by firing the employee?

3 ways to avoid success

How can you tell if someone wants to be successful? Perhaps they arrive at the office earlier than others, tackle challenging work, or propose innovative ideas toward progress. There are some obvious signs of success.

How can you tell if someone is a failure? Perhaps they sleep in until 8am, passively market their ideas, or do not have any ideas. There are some obvious signs of failure. There are some less obvious signs too, and three are listed below.

Three routes to avoid success and find failure:

1. Coattail Riding: Success does not come to those who ride the coattails of others. If you do not work hard yourself, you will not experience the same level of success as others, even if a little of their light shines on you.
2. Copying: Success does not come to copycats. Be original. Have something new to say. If you do not work hard to be a leader in your field of expertise, you will not be an expert. Reading someone else's work can be helpful and interesting, but copying it as your own will not make you successful. 
3. Crying: There's no crying over errors. Successful people keep moving forward, as it says in Put Your Whole Self In! Crying, wallowing, and whining are guaranteed routes to failure.

Those three routes to failure seem like they would be obvious too. Yet, many people ride coattails, copy, and cry rather than do the work required to be at the top of the heap.

Success: do you really want it?

Everyone says they want to be successful, but few do the work required to achieve success. Everyone wants to be at the top of their field, but few do the work required to get there. Everyone wants to be extraordinary, but few do the little extra to go from ordinary to extraordinary.

I refuse to believe we are here to be ordinary. There is more in store for those who do the work, pay attention, and give more. If success came easy, everyone would have it. It takes hard work, perseverance, knowledge. It also takes less sleep, as mentioned in the video below. Clearly, few high school athletes prepare and practice like the young man in the video. On a business level, few managers do the equivalent in their fields. But, you can.

If you really want success, if you are All-In, success is there for the taking. Go get it.

 

Heineken nailed it

Heineken nailed it: You are who you are when no one is looking. As much as I dislike that trite phrase, it becomes more relevant every day as more and more people don't seem to realize its truth.

Whatever act you put on for peers, bosses, the media, clients, acquaintances, you are who you are. You are what you do. You are not who you say you are or who you think you are. You are who you are.

There are so many examples in the news right now, it is surprising to me how many people have not learned the truth. Or, perhaps they do not want to admit the truth about who they are--even to themselves.

One example is Penn State's legendary football coach, Joe Paterno. As you may have heard, one of Joe Pa's long-time coaches was arrested Saturday and arraigned on 40 criminal counts related to decades of sexual abuse of young boys. A 28-year-old graduate assistant witnessed the retired coach in the shower with a 10-year old boy in 2002. The assistant told Paterno, who reportedly told the Athletic Director, who apparently did nothing. Paterno did nothing else either.

The investigation and fallout from it continue, and I bring it up here because Paterno and his followers have upheld him as a beacon of greatness for decades. While Paterno has not been arrested, the fact is, he knew about the abuse and continued to allow the abuser to use the facilities at Penn State. So, whether he is legally responsible, he is morally responsible because he knew (he admits to knowing). He can think of himself as a beacon of greatness, his followers can continue to talk him up, ESPN can slop sugar all over him, but he is who he is. Paterno is someone who did not prevent gross sexual perversion of children from occurring in his facility, yet, he could have. Whatever his legal obligation, the bottom line is he knew about it and did not prevent it from continuing. He is who he is.

The Penn State situation is disgusting, and all details are not public yet.

Other less disgusting but just as obvious examples of people in denial of "you are what you are" are evident in workplaces every day:

• The manager or board member who takes credit for someone else's idea. 
• The business leader who promotes herself as a role model, yet is not successful in that business. 
• The salesperson who tells customers to buy more than they need, just so he can get commission on it.
• The employee who takes two-hour lunches, pads expense accounts, and takes office supplies.
• The entrepreneur who keeps long lists of things to do to improve his business, yet never does anything on the lists.

However you justify your behavior, however you position it to the media, coworkers, or your own mind, you are who you are. 

Live and work as though the truth of who you are is important. Whether you want to believe it or not, others can tell who you are and will treat you according to who you are, not who you think you are, not who you wish you were, and not who you say you are. The truth is evident to others. See yourself for what you are. If you do not like the results you are getting, look in the mirror.

As we talk about in The All-In Way sessions and the book Put Your Whole Self In, pass the Mirror Test every day. See yourself. See the truth about yourself. Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well.

You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.

The growth plan better extend beyond financial finagling

If the primary way your company can be profitable is by moving its headquarters, you're in trouble. If production costs have increased and operating costs have followed, and the best idea your leaders have is to reduce rent, update your resume because your company won't be around long.

Of course, saving on office expenses is wise. It should just not be the primary way a company alters its Income Statement. If you're in the movie business, figure out a way to make money in the movie industry. If you run an engineering firm, figure out how to be profitable in the engineering industry. If you run a bakery, bake some revenue-generating treats. If you're in real estate, move to generate income. But, don't be in the real estate industry if you're not in the real estate industry. If you can't make a buck in the business you're in, it's time to evaluate the business you're in.

Do not expect your shareholders and stakeholders to fall for financial finagling, even if it works short-term. They recognize when a company is at the end of its rope holding on.  

Be creative, be the expert in your industry, be innovative. Come up with ideas that inspire people--employees, clients, shareholders--rather than ideas that reek of last-ditch desperation. You might be surprised by what inspired, All-In, people do when they are invited to do more than pack their desks into boxes.

Is your strategy inducing confidence or shaking it?

 If one of your biggest clients said "It appears that they're lost right now" about your company, what would you do?

This morning's print edition of The Wall Street Journal includes an article about Hewlett-Packard (H-P), its strategy, and how it has communicated with customers and investors. The first line of the article is: Hewlett-Packard Co.'s recent strategic moves have shaken the confidence of investors. Now customers of the technology giant are also getting nervous. A few paragraphs later a big customer is quoted saying, "It appears that they're lost right now."

It's bad enough that a big customer considers his supplier lost, but the feeling is shared by others--and published in  The Wall Street Journal!

In the article, H-P executives defended their strategy and claimed to be in "constant contact with our customers to explain our strategy and ensure their needs are being met." Apparently their customers are unaware of the "constant contact" because many are confused and disappointed in H-P's strategy.

What has H-P done wrong?

It is unclear if H-P's strategic decisions are wrong--time will tell. What is clear is H-P's communication of their strategy has been wrong. When it comes to inducing confidence or shaking it, communication is key.

Communication with employees, customers, partners, vendors, and investors needs to be precise and targeted so the strategic direction has a chance of working. Poor communication can kill any strategic plan.

What have you done to ensure your strategic direction is confidence-inducing? Have you had enough communication with customers? Do employees understand it and know they're part of it? Whether you are charged with planning the direction of an entire multi-billion dollar corporation or a million dollar non-profit or a department of three, consider communication a critical part of your success.

H-P considers communication critical: Just three hours after the online edition of The Wall Street Journal was published, a second article which more thoroughly explains the strategy and how it is being communicated was published online. H-P has strong market position, so customer confidence has been stirred but not been shaken entirely.

When is the last time you talked with your customers about your strategy? Don't wait for them to voice their concerns to The Wall Street Journal to start the conversations. Confidence should be reinforced throughout each year.

For the full WSJ article:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903895904576544822297017068.html#ixzz1Wo2juG6M

Abercrombie tries to awaken the delusional

Abercrombie has offered big bucks to the Jersey Shore cast to get them to STOP wearing the Abercrombie label on their show. While the cast has hopes of big movie roles, endorsement deals, and fame beyond its fifteen minutes, one of the most well known retailers wants nothing to do with them. Abercrombie went so far as to say being affiliated with the cast, specifically Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, goes against the "aspirational nature" of its brand and may be "distressing" to customers. (From www.KansasCity.com)

How would you feel if you were told that being affiliated with you is distressing? Not only is Abercrombie not going to pay for product placement, they want the product placement to stop.  Abercrombie, who often skims the line of good taste when it comes to promotion (remember young kids in sexy poses?), does not want to be affiliated with them.

So, while there is some irony in the story, why would I bring it to my readers' attention? My readers don't watch Jersey Shore or wear Abercrombie, so what do they care?

The point to consider if self-awareness.

While it is likely you are not as delusional as the reality show cast, it is also likely that increased self-awareness could improve your performance at work. The more aware a person is to how she is perceived and how others respond to her, the more powerful she can become.

For example, a sales person who doesn't close the sale often blames the pricing or timing when it could be the sales person's tardiness, insufficient preparation, or lack of knowledge about the client. It is easier and faster to accept price as the barrier to the sale. Price is an acceptable barrier these days. But, it shouldn't be.

Another example, a project team presents new design options to a client and all are rejected. The client might say the ideas were great, creative, and innovative then send the team back with so many revisions the next version looks nothing like the original. If the client knew what he wanted in the first place, why didn't he tell the account manager? I suspect most account managers would not take the time to assess their part in the miscommunication. It would be easier, faster, and less painful to join the chorus of frustration being sung by the rest of the team.

When something does not go your way, do a 2-Review. Reflect for just two minutes on what you could have done differently to boost the chances of success. What could you do differently next time to make success more likely? People who are highly self-aware make it easy for others to give them what they want--they make success likely.

People who are highly self-aware are paid for their reputations, ideas, and results. They are not paid for being delusional--or for not working. 

(Link to article)

First impressions and basic economics

They say you never get a second chance to make a good first impression. True. But, isn't it the second impressions which matter most?

People size each other up quickly. In about seven seconds, we decide if someone looks like a worthy business adviser, expert, friend, technician, employee...the list goes on and on. How often do you judge someone unworthy, based on first impressions alone (looks, voice, written, comments), yet give them another chance anyway? Frequently, right?

It is common to give second chances. Everything today is about relationships, so we can't write people off for what bothers us in less than a minute. For one thing, we have to work with people who don't impress us right away. We also serve them as customers, live next door, work on church committees, plan school events, and dine with them as friends of friends.

If a dear friend introduces you to her favorite coworker, who is drinking her third martini at Happy Hour Friday night, you're likely to forgive her coworker's bad karaoke rendition of Sweet Caroline. Or, if you get assigned to a project team with the office gossip, you'll keep your guard up rather than complain to the boss about expecting to be assigned to teams full of people you love dearly.

We adapt. We deal with people we don't click with. We give second chances. Most of the time it is smart to do so, and it often works out well for both sides.

The one time second chances are hard to get and give is basic economics: when supply is greater than demand.

For example, when interviewing for a new position and there are dozens, or thousands, of competing applicants, first impressions separate the interviewees. Typos on resumes ruin first impressions and knock candidates out of the running.

In today's competitive marketplace, first impressions count because supply exceeds demand. For example, I recently purchased a washer and dryer at Lowes. The experience was unpleasant from start to finish, so the next time I need something, Lowes will not be considered. In my one experience, it seems Lowes employees have poor eye sight. There's a direct competitor next door. Can they see it? Supply exceeds demand in their industry.

What about in your industry? Does supply exceed demand? If so, first impressions count. As do second, third, fourth...EVERY impression counts today. Use basic economics to your advantage by paying attention to every impression and by selling when a competitor missteps. Distinguish yourself and your business by considering every impression essential.

Is there an industry today where supply exceeds demand? What do you think about first impressions in your line of work?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?

The "free milk" analogy my Irish grandmother used to say came to mind when a client shared her recent experience of "putting out." My client, Jill, has been in a long-term relationship but lamented about how "putting out" is not leading anywhere. Aha, just like my Irish grandmother said!

Jill is not a high school girl learning to maneuver the dating world. She is a forty-something executive maneuvering the corporate world.

Jill is frustrated about doing the work of three people without being rewarded for it. In September, three departments merged under one VP. Jill was the one to remain, and the other two were transitioned out. At the time, Jill did not want to rock the boat by asking about aligning her compensation with her responsibilities. So, she's been doing it without complaint, without a significant raise, and without an increase in resources. And, the company has not acknowledged it.

While we could discuss whether a man would have demanded a raise at the time, my question is, "Why should the company acknowledge it?"

Why would the company buy the cow when they are getting the milk free?

Jill's expectation that the company would eventually realize what an outstanding contribution she is making--and she is!--is risky and cowardly. As I've said often, including in the book Put Your Whole Self In!, the cross-your-fingers-and-hope plan rarely yields big results. When Jill is ready to do something about her current situation, she will need to talk with her boss about aligning her compensation and responsibilities.

High performing companies who want to keep their high performing people pay attention to them. Whether it is the president whom Jill reports to or the VP of HR, someone should be aware of the disparity between Jill's responsibilities and compensation. And, they should honor her by fixing it.

To answer the question, the company should "buy the cow" because eventually that cow is going to quit giving free milk. It might even give sour milk, while telling all the other cows in the field to do the same thing.

3 Lessons from a two-toed, small town, high school quarterback

The past six months of Dylan Fink's life have been gruesome and triumphant.

The gruesome part was when a combine sliced through both of his feet, leaving him only two toes.

[brief pause for you to ponder that for a minute...]

An article in today's Kansas City Star (linked below) shares Fink's story from the combine slice to tonight's triumph. Tonight, Fink leads his eight-man high school football team to the semifinals as their quarterback. The article shares details of Fink's recovery, return to school, and return to the football field.

It is nice to learn about a teenager with character at a time when most teens complain if they don't have a cell phone. Imagine their reaction if eight toes were sliced off their feet? But, Fink is not "most teens." He is someone special, and we can learn from him and the story.

Three things we can learn from the quarterbacking teenager:

#1. Playing for your team matters. Fink's recovery stayed ahead of schedule because he wanted to play football with his friends. He's not doing it for money or fame. He's doing it to contribute to the team, a team of his friends.

Isn't there something workplace teams, and those who assemble them, could take away from that? People want to contribute, they want to be on the team.

#2. Fighting to be on the team matters. Fink worked hard to return to his team. He didn't even walk the first week after the accident, and the first time he tried lasted only a few seconds. The young man worked hard to go from not walking to scoring nine touchdowns in the season. His teammates know he worked hard. It showed them how badly he wanted to be on the team. They had to work hard to earn what Fink was fighting for. They knew Fink was fighting to be on the team, and they had to make it a team worth fighting for. His fight inspired them.

Could workplace teammates do the same? Workplace team members certainly know how each other feels about the team, so couldn't one of them inspire the rest toward higher performance? Of course they can.

#3. Prioritizing fun over profit can pay off. Sam Mellinger wrote in the article, "Sports are hard to hug sometimes. Players cheat. Coaches lie. Too many use success for ego and entitlement and greed. Profit is prioritized over fun, every stadium is a TV studio, every message comes with an agenda. Sometimes the whole thing can suppress character as much as cultivate it..."

When companies bombard employees with messages relaying ego, entitlement, greed, and agendas, the employees know it and are not inspired by it. Employees want to play for the team, but they do not want to play for some high level executive's fancy car. Fink says. “Being out there with my team, I feel like I’m accomplishing a lot.” Workplace team members want that same feeling.

Fink's character was cultivated long before the combine sliced off his toes. The combine slicing just gave him a chance to show it. It also gave us the chance to learn from the two-toed, small town, high school quarterback.

What do you think? Can workplace teams learn from the young quarterback?

__________
Please click here for the full article: Kansas City Star article by Sam Mellinger


UPDATE:
The Miami Eagles team was defeated by St. Joseph Christian, 22-30, in their final game of the season. Congratulations to Dylan and his teammates for a valiant effort.