Heineken nailed it

Heineken nailed it: You are who you are when no one is looking. As much as I dislike that trite phrase, it becomes more relevant every day as more and more people don't seem to realize its truth.

Whatever act you put on for peers, bosses, the media, clients, acquaintances, you are who you are. You are what you do. You are not who you say you are or who you think you are. You are who you are.

There are so many examples in the news right now, it is surprising to me how many people have not learned the truth. Or, perhaps they do not want to admit the truth about who they are--even to themselves.

One example is Penn State's legendary football coach, Joe Paterno. As you may have heard, one of Joe Pa's long-time coaches was arrested Saturday and arraigned on 40 criminal counts related to decades of sexual abuse of young boys. A 28-year-old graduate assistant witnessed the retired coach in the shower with a 10-year old boy in 2002. The assistant told Paterno, who reportedly told the Athletic Director, who apparently did nothing. Paterno did nothing else either.

The investigation and fallout from it continue, and I bring it up here because Paterno and his followers have upheld him as a beacon of greatness for decades. While Paterno has not been arrested, the fact is, he knew about the abuse and continued to allow the abuser to use the facilities at Penn State. So, whether he is legally responsible, he is morally responsible because he knew (he admits to knowing). He can think of himself as a beacon of greatness, his followers can continue to talk him up, ESPN can slop sugar all over him, but he is who he is. Paterno is someone who did not prevent gross sexual perversion of children from occurring in his facility, yet, he could have. Whatever his legal obligation, the bottom line is he knew about it and did not prevent it from continuing. He is who he is.

The Penn State situation is disgusting, and all details are not public yet.

Other less disgusting but just as obvious examples of people in denial of "you are what you are" are evident in workplaces every day:

• The manager or board member who takes credit for someone else's idea. 
• The business leader who promotes herself as a role model, yet is not successful in that business. 
• The salesperson who tells customers to buy more than they need, just so he can get commission on it.
• The employee who takes two-hour lunches, pads expense accounts, and takes office supplies.
• The entrepreneur who keeps long lists of things to do to improve his business, yet never does anything on the lists.

However you justify your behavior, however you position it to the media, coworkers, or your own mind, you are who you are. 

Live and work as though the truth of who you are is important. Whether you want to believe it or not, others can tell who you are and will treat you according to who you are, not who you think you are, not who you wish you were, and not who you say you are. The truth is evident to others. See yourself for what you are. If you do not like the results you are getting, look in the mirror.

As we talk about in The All-In Way sessions and the book Put Your Whole Self In, pass the Mirror Test every day. See yourself. See the truth about yourself. Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well.

You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.