Nerds need charm too

When I saw the recent report (posted below) about the start of MIT's 19th annual Charm School, the first thought I had was, "If the A+ kids get charm and social skills, what jobs will be left for the C students?" Typically, the top 1% of the class, the brainiest students, become scientists, researchers, professors, while the middle of the class becomes sales people, team leaders, and customer service associates.

What happens if the smarties acquire the social skills--what happens to the middle students?

I am glad the engineers and other brilliant nerds, as they call themselves in the clip, from MIT get access to basic social and etiquette skills. They need it. But, they don't need it more than B and C students and I hope all universities and corporations are paying attention.

B and C students may possess social skills naturally, but they need to hone business etiquette in order to represent themselves and their companies well internally and externally. My first book, Secrets of Seasoned Professionals, captures basics and beyond because damaging a reputation over offenses that could be avoided is unnecessary. (Book on Amazon)

As MIT figured out when it began its Charm School 19 years ago, how you act is as important as what you know. That's true for nerds and C students alike.

After pondering this for a few days, and catching a few episodes of Big Bang Theory, I've concluded that the nerds an be charming, but there will always be a need for the B and C students--there's only so much charm a person can learn.

Bazinga!

Watch out for happiness pushers

Watch out! They are lurking on every corner: they are happiness pushers. You probably know some, but here are a few signs just in case you need help recognizing them:

• They post "high on life" quotations on Facebook and Twitter every day...several times a day.
• They quote success gurus, even in live conversations, as if they are dear friends.
• They tell you to look on the bright side, no matter what the situation is as if how you look solves everything.
• They say they know how you feel, then they one-up whatever your situation is.
• They are less than successful in their business, relationships, life in general. You can tell this by what they complain about and how they respond to changes in their lives.

So, what's the problem with these people? Isn't it great to see only the bright side of life every day? What's wrong with "don't worry, be happy" as a life motto?

The problem is denial.

The fact is: life is not all sunshine, rainbows, and bunnies every minute every day. When people deny that, they don't really experience everything of life and they deny themselves something great.

When you don't face life's challenges head-on, but rather sweep them aside with a smile, you deny yourself a tremendous sense of accomplishment. Greatness is built by handling adversity, not by pretending it isn't there. Challenges are life's way of revealing who you really are, so if you put on a brave face and fake happiness, you miss out on that revelation.

We do not have to be happy every minute of every day. People who push happiness as if it is a character flaw when you don't feel happy are phony, oblivious, or dumb.

It is okay to be upset, to worry, to be afraid. Admit how you feel and handle the issue. You will feel much better once the challenge is resolved than if you just pretended to be happy that whole time.

Give yourself the opportunity to overcome obstacles by not being happy every minute. When it comes to happiness pushers, just say, "No".

Another reputation ruined by stupidity

Yesterday, Montana’s chief federal judge, Richard Cebull, admitted forwarding a racist email to six "old buddies" about President Obama. He sent the email from his court account, not from home or even a personal account.

The email included several racist jokes along with the judge's personal message to his buddies. “Normally I don’t send or forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read this. Hope it touches your heart like it did mine,” Chief U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull wrote before forwarding the email. (SOURCE: Los Angeles Times)

The judge admits the jokes are racists but claims he sent them not as a racist but because he dislikes Obama.

Politics aside...racism aside...just how stupid is that judge to think it is prudent to send an email like that? Just how stupid is he to attach his name to that kind of email, especially since he admitted knowing it could offend people. Sure, he never intended the email to become public, but that's the point: you should ALWAYS assume emails could become public.

Email has been around for 20 years! Warnings about emails being forwarded to recipients beyond those you intend have been around 20 years! How many more reputations will be ruined by the stupid assumption that no one else will see one?

Being stupid enough to assume emails are private is one thing, but perhaps it just reveals the real issue: poor character.

My question for you to ponder: if a top judge is stupid enough to assume emails are private, are you? Or, are the top leaders of your company? Judge Cebull's stupidity serves as a good reminder to us all, which might prevent another reputation from being ruined by stupidity.

(Information for this post was taken from the Los Angeles Times article, Montana judge admits sending racist email about Obama, posted by Kim Murphy February 29, 2012, 9:06 p.m.)

Proof that good things happen to good people

Marine Cpl. Alexander Degenhardt attributes his luck to karma. 

Five years ago Marine Cpl. Alexander Degenhardt registered to be a bone marrow donation, and he was identified as a match just prior to going to Las Vegas last week. While he was in Vegas for the first time, Cpl. Degenhardt hit a $2.8 million jackpot at the Belagio.

When asked what he will do now, Cpl. Degenhardt said he will stay in the military, live off his paycheck, and invest the jackpot winnings. He also said he will donate the bone marrow, as planned. Karma, indeed.

Paterno's greatest lesson

Penn State's head football coach Joe Paterno died today. He died just two months since the revelation that he did not prevent a child molester, one of his assistant coaches, from abusing young boys on the part of the campus he was responsible for the last 45+ years.

Paterno was fired in disgrace after reports came out about him ignoring witness reports of sexually abusive behavior taking place in the football team's locker room. Paterno himself admitted to not doing enough to prevent further abuse. The university fired him and severed all media and marketing ties with him. Some are saying he died of a broken heart after being so humiliated by the disgrace of his firing from his beloved university.

Since the child molestation crimes of Penn State's former assistant coach and Paterno's knowledge and acceptance of the molestation have become public knowledge, millions of people are angry at Paterno, but he still has some supporters. There are some people who have said today that "we should let the man rest in peace." Others have said they "will show Paterno the kind of peace he showed the children victimized on his watch: none!"

Within the Penn State family, Paterno was treated as a saint and revered as a man of remarkable character. Outside of Penn State, however, stories about his poor character, rudely offensive behavior, and lack of discipline among his teams are common, if not well known. Paterno's reputation within Penn State and outside of it have always been very different. The difference is even more evident since his lack of action to prevent child molestation became public.

In November, just after the assistant coach was arrested, I blogged about Paterno and others being true to who they are. (blog post) I wrote: Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well. You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.

Now that Paterno has died, I wonder if he ever saw himself for who he really was.

I wonder what went through Paterno's mind during the last few hours of consciousness of his life. I wonder if he prayed and sought forgiveness for allowing the abuse to continue for so many years. I wonder if he hoped his legacy would be the good things he did during his life instead of the revelations of the last two months. I wonder if he was mad at Penn State for severing ties, thinking he didn't deserve it. I wonder if he was at peace with the legacy he leaves behind.

The lesson we can all take from Paterno's death and the recent months is that we should live so the answer about our legacy is clear. And, is desirable.

Whether we're thinking about the legacy of our lives or our departures from our jobs, volunteer leadership positions, or social events, we should live deliberately so there is no doubt about our legacy.

What do you want people to say about you after you leave your current company? Or, department, neighborhood, school, client, networking group, association chapter, or church? If you do not want people cheering your departure, choose your actions accordingly. If you do want people to miss you, remember you fondly, and appreciate your work, choose your actions accordingly.

So, whether you are on a big stage like Paterno was, people in your life will remember you one way or another.

You decide.

Speakers: we've got to do better!

Some young business colleagues posted this video with the caption "this is why we all hate speakers!" Oh, sure, a few bad lecturers give all speakers a bad name. The only way to change that reputation is by being interesting and impactful--not like this video!



What do you think: are the thoughts conveyed here realistic or way off base?

3 ways to avoid success

How can you tell if someone wants to be successful? Perhaps they arrive at the office earlier than others, tackle challenging work, or propose innovative ideas toward progress. There are some obvious signs of success.

How can you tell if someone is a failure? Perhaps they sleep in until 8am, passively market their ideas, or do not have any ideas. There are some obvious signs of failure. There are some less obvious signs too, and three are listed below.

Three routes to avoid success and find failure:

1. Coattail Riding: Success does not come to those who ride the coattails of others. If you do not work hard yourself, you will not experience the same level of success as others, even if a little of their light shines on you.
2. Copying: Success does not come to copycats. Be original. Have something new to say. If you do not work hard to be a leader in your field of expertise, you will not be an expert. Reading someone else's work can be helpful and interesting, but copying it as your own will not make you successful. 
3. Crying: There's no crying over errors. Successful people keep moving forward, as it says in Put Your Whole Self In! Crying, wallowing, and whining are guaranteed routes to failure.

Those three routes to failure seem like they would be obvious too. Yet, many people ride coattails, copy, and cry rather than do the work required to be at the top of the heap.

Success: do you really want it?

Everyone says they want to be successful, but few do the work required to achieve success. Everyone wants to be at the top of their field, but few do the work required to get there. Everyone wants to be extraordinary, but few do the little extra to go from ordinary to extraordinary.

I refuse to believe we are here to be ordinary. There is more in store for those who do the work, pay attention, and give more. If success came easy, everyone would have it. It takes hard work, perseverance, knowledge. It also takes less sleep, as mentioned in the video below. Clearly, few high school athletes prepare and practice like the young man in the video. On a business level, few managers do the equivalent in their fields. But, you can.

If you really want success, if you are All-In, success is there for the taking. Go get it.

 

Self-indulgent buffoonery damages teams

If you watched last night's NFL game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Pittsburgh Steelers, you saw Bob Costas express his opinion about America's culture growing more stupid and graceless, as reflected in sports. Costas speaks about the spontaneous displays of enthusiasm versus calculated obnoxious displays.

Take a look:

Costas refers to yesterdays Buffalo Bills v. New York Jets game during which a Bills player's celebratory antics cost his team a penalty, which made it easy for the Jets to score the game-winning touch down. When the same self-absorbed player dropped a pass near the end of the game, he did not do an apology dance, Costa says.

Costa asks where the coaches are and why the coaches don't bench players when their antics damage their team. So far, I have not seen a coach respond. What could a coach say, "It's just boys being boys"? I've heard that response often when this topic is debated. The problem with it is that the boy being a boy often causes penalties. When self-absorption impacts teammates or the outcome of a game, the coaches and team leaders need to step in. Team leaders can help the ego-driven athlete understand his role as a teammate and coaches can ensure the message is received.

Most players do not indulge in graceless buffoonery after they score. Most players understand where the line between buffoonery and enthusiasm is drawn, and they have the accurate filter through which to behave. The few who do not look foolish because of their actions, immature because of their lack of control, and selfish because they do not care about their teams.

The same can be said of teams within workplaces. I have not seen a teammate jump on a boardroom table, pull a pen out of his sock, and sign an approved proposal while spinning on his head. But, I have seen emails in which business teammates take credit for someone else's work. I have seen workplace teammates take jabs at others during meetings so they can keep all the attention. I've seen work teammates cause extra work for the whole team just to ensure that someone else does not get to make a good play.

Jealousy, insecurity, and lack of confidence cause the same type of buffoonery Costas refers to in the NFL. In fact, in his opening statement, Costas says our culture is growing more stupid and graceless and sports reflects it.

Another famous football legend, Lou Holtz, said, "When you reach the end zone, act like you've been there before." When players dance around like it's their first time in the end zone and they are shocked to see the view from there, they probably do not realize how they look to most people watching. The same can be said when workplace teammates behave in mindless exhibitionism.

What do you think: is there a line between enthusiasm and self-indulgence? How have you seen the line blurred at work? What should the leaders do about it?

Heineken nailed it

Heineken nailed it: You are who you are when no one is looking. As much as I dislike that trite phrase, it becomes more relevant every day as more and more people don't seem to realize its truth.

Whatever act you put on for peers, bosses, the media, clients, acquaintances, you are who you are. You are what you do. You are not who you say you are or who you think you are. You are who you are.

There are so many examples in the news right now, it is surprising to me how many people have not learned the truth. Or, perhaps they do not want to admit the truth about who they are--even to themselves.

One example is Penn State's legendary football coach, Joe Paterno. As you may have heard, one of Joe Pa's long-time coaches was arrested Saturday and arraigned on 40 criminal counts related to decades of sexual abuse of young boys. A 28-year-old graduate assistant witnessed the retired coach in the shower with a 10-year old boy in 2002. The assistant told Paterno, who reportedly told the Athletic Director, who apparently did nothing. Paterno did nothing else either.

The investigation and fallout from it continue, and I bring it up here because Paterno and his followers have upheld him as a beacon of greatness for decades. While Paterno has not been arrested, the fact is, he knew about the abuse and continued to allow the abuser to use the facilities at Penn State. So, whether he is legally responsible, he is morally responsible because he knew (he admits to knowing). He can think of himself as a beacon of greatness, his followers can continue to talk him up, ESPN can slop sugar all over him, but he is who he is. Paterno is someone who did not prevent gross sexual perversion of children from occurring in his facility, yet, he could have. Whatever his legal obligation, the bottom line is he knew about it and did not prevent it from continuing. He is who he is.

The Penn State situation is disgusting, and all details are not public yet.

Other less disgusting but just as obvious examples of people in denial of "you are what you are" are evident in workplaces every day:

• The manager or board member who takes credit for someone else's idea. 
• The business leader who promotes herself as a role model, yet is not successful in that business. 
• The salesperson who tells customers to buy more than they need, just so he can get commission on it.
• The employee who takes two-hour lunches, pads expense accounts, and takes office supplies.
• The entrepreneur who keeps long lists of things to do to improve his business, yet never does anything on the lists.

However you justify your behavior, however you position it to the media, coworkers, or your own mind, you are who you are. 

Live and work as though the truth of who you are is important. Whether you want to believe it or not, others can tell who you are and will treat you according to who you are, not who you think you are, not who you wish you were, and not who you say you are. The truth is evident to others. See yourself for what you are. If you do not like the results you are getting, look in the mirror.

As we talk about in The All-In Way sessions and the book Put Your Whole Self In, pass the Mirror Test every day. See yourself. See the truth about yourself. Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well.

You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.

Too legit to quit

An entrepreneur named Stanley Burrell announced  the launch of a new search engine at last week's Web 2.0 summit in San Francisco. Yawn...

Don't get too bored...

Burrell's stage name is MC Hammer. Yes, that MC Hammer. You remember him because he's too legit, too legit to quit. Hammer was one of the biggest rap stars of all time, selling more than 50 million records in his heyday. He is credited with being one of the innovators of pop-rap because his music appealed to fans of both in a unique way back in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

You also might remember him for his Hammer pants, Hammer time, and personal difficulties in the late 1990s.

He's come a long way since then.

When MC Hammer was in the midst of stardom and sang about being "too legit to quit," I thought he was focused on being "too legit." He admitted as much in interviews years after spending his $20 million fortune, losing his house, filing bankruptcy, and settling copyright infringement lawsuits. He has spoken in interviews on Oprah and VH1 and elsewhere about out-of-order priorities causing his downfall.

What stands out to me now is not the "too legit" part, it's the "to quit" part. It turns out the kid dancing to a boombox outside Oakland A's ballpark really was not going to quit.

Burrell has many business holdings including a record label, artist management company, MMA management company, horse racing stable, and clothing line (that does not sell Hammer pants, by the way). He also is an established internet mogul involved with several dance sites.

This guy came from living in a tiny house with eight siblings, dancing outside the A's stadium and made it to the height of super-stardom, then lost the superstar staus and financial security, then became a successful business mogul with diverse business interests. He's living life All In!

After all of the highs and lows, Stanley Burrell really is too legit to quit. I suspect his latest high-tech venture will be successful too. Or, at least if it's not, he will be just fine. MC Hammer: too legit to quit. Stanley Burrell: U can't touch this.

Question for Readers:

Who would have thought we could learn something from Hammer Time, but we can. Knock me over with a feather. My question for you: are you too legit to quit too?

Link to article on www.CNN.com

What I learned from Steve Jobs

The announcement of his death was less than 24 hours ago, and Apple haters are already bemoaning the recognition and praise being heaped on the man. They say he was not really a creative genius because he didn't invent anything. They say he just copied other people's ideas and made them better. They say their lives are just fine with Android instead of Apple products.

They stumble when asked to explain how design improvements are not inventions or how bringing products to the mass market is not creative. They don't have an answer when asked if they really think their Android products would be as useful today without Jobs over at Apple. Well, they have an answer but it is defensive and short-sighted.

While Jobs is being heralded as a creative genius today, I pondered the main thing I learned from his career--ups and downs. The main thing I takeaway is that being first to market is not always best. Being #2 is good. Jobs improved on what was available already. He didn't invent the mp3 player, he made it more useful to consumers. The same is true for computers and tablets.

In today's highly competitive marketplace, it is common to scrap an idea if someone beats you to it. Thinking like Jobs, however, one might decide to do it anyway, just do it better.  Don't fear being #2. Make #1 better and you just might overtake the position (a la Apple v. Sony in the portable music market). That's what I'm going to reflect on as an important takeaway from Steve Jobs.

Well, that and his whole thing about one's time being limited on this earth so have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. That's a good lesson too--one he began teaching in the 1980s.

Abercrombie tries to awaken the delusional

Abercrombie has offered big bucks to the Jersey Shore cast to get them to STOP wearing the Abercrombie label on their show. While the cast has hopes of big movie roles, endorsement deals, and fame beyond its fifteen minutes, one of the most well known retailers wants nothing to do with them. Abercrombie went so far as to say being affiliated with the cast, specifically Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, goes against the "aspirational nature" of its brand and may be "distressing" to customers. (From www.KansasCity.com)

How would you feel if you were told that being affiliated with you is distressing? Not only is Abercrombie not going to pay for product placement, they want the product placement to stop.  Abercrombie, who often skims the line of good taste when it comes to promotion (remember young kids in sexy poses?), does not want to be affiliated with them.

So, while there is some irony in the story, why would I bring it to my readers' attention? My readers don't watch Jersey Shore or wear Abercrombie, so what do they care?

The point to consider if self-awareness.

While it is likely you are not as delusional as the reality show cast, it is also likely that increased self-awareness could improve your performance at work. The more aware a person is to how she is perceived and how others respond to her, the more powerful she can become.

For example, a sales person who doesn't close the sale often blames the pricing or timing when it could be the sales person's tardiness, insufficient preparation, or lack of knowledge about the client. It is easier and faster to accept price as the barrier to the sale. Price is an acceptable barrier these days. But, it shouldn't be.

Another example, a project team presents new design options to a client and all are rejected. The client might say the ideas were great, creative, and innovative then send the team back with so many revisions the next version looks nothing like the original. If the client knew what he wanted in the first place, why didn't he tell the account manager? I suspect most account managers would not take the time to assess their part in the miscommunication. It would be easier, faster, and less painful to join the chorus of frustration being sung by the rest of the team.

When something does not go your way, do a 2-Review. Reflect for just two minutes on what you could have done differently to boost the chances of success. What could you do differently next time to make success more likely? People who are highly self-aware make it easy for others to give them what they want--they make success likely.

People who are highly self-aware are paid for their reputations, ideas, and results. They are not paid for being delusional--or for not working. 

(Link to article)

All-In Person of the Weekend: 

Alonzo Mourning, former NBA star for the Miami Heat stopped busy Miami traffic Friday (March 25, 2011). He jumped out of his SUV, stood in the road and stopped traffic, while a wheelchair-bound pedestrian made it to the median. After making sure the citizen was safe, Mourning headed to his SUV to the sound of cheering fans! Way to go Alonzo! 

Alonzo Mourning All-In Story 

All-Out Person of the Weekend:

Also on Friday, it was reported that Ina Garten, the Food Network's "Barefoot Contessa" turned down a request from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. She was contacted about a six-year-old boy suffering from leukemia who wanted to cook with her, and she denied the request. Apparently her reps said something to the effect of her being unable to meet every person who wants to meet her.

A Business Insider story quotes Garten's rep saying,"despite her demanding schedule, [Ina] participates and helps as many organizations as she can throughout the year, helping children and adults like Enzo with life threatening and compromising illnesses."

Sure, she is busy! But, is this really about being busy? Or, is is about being generous, kind, and humble?

Don't worry about the little boy. He's decided to swim with dolphins and is already taking the necessary lessons to make that wish come true. 

Barefoot Contessa Shuns Make-A-Wish

Reader Query...

What do you think about the Barefoot Contessa turning down the wish? 

Understandable--she's busy! Or, Rude--get over yourself!

I met Frank Sinatra. Mr. Sinatra was a friend of mine. You're no Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra is known for saying, "This is my world. You're all just guests here."

Too many people have been imitating Mr. Sinatra lately, and I'm not talking about singing or acting or romancing.

Too many people act like they are the only ones who matter, and the rest of us are their guests. We live in a society where people are oblivious to others, and that is causing isolation, silos, and narcissism.

A few examples...

The elderly woman who rammed my car told me, "I decided to get a cake at the grocery store and almost missed the entrance." The grocery store was on my right, and she was on my left. So, she just acted on her decision as if I wasn't there. Was she oblivious to the fact that others are on the road at the same time, or did she just not care?

The high school swim team practices at the local YMCA and enters the locker room without toweling off. They get water all over the floors and benches and never wipe it up. An elderly woman slipped, fell and hurt her hip, yet the swimmers do not alter their behavior. Are they oblivious to the fact that others use the locker room too or do they just not care about anyone else?

Some men were meeting at a coffee shop discussing the new cars coming out for the next year. I overheard three of them talking about which new model they were planning to purchase, and I noticed the fourth man did not chime in with his new car intentions. By the end of their meeting, it was clear the fourth man had been laid off recently. Were his friends oblivious to how he might feel or not friends at all?

The culture of oblivion is so prominent, ABC has a television series dedicated to it. What Would You Do? puts people in awkward situations and wonders how they will respond. One episode had a waiter insult gay couples to see if other restaurant patrons would speak up. The waiter and couples were in on the show. Another episode had teenagers bullying each other to see if adults walking by would step in. There have been episodes involving couples, parents and children, elderly drivers, drunk medical professionals in a wide variety of situations we're all faced with on a regular basis.

Watching the show, one would think, "Of course, I would say something!" But, when it comes right down to it, do you really speak up? Or, perhaps you say something at the time, then turn right around and do something equally as oblivious to others the next minute. Or, perhaps you don't even notice something untoward is going on in the first place because you're oblivious to your surroundings.

We are living at a time when people are very self-focused, which may be a natural response during a recession that includes loss of jobs, foreclosed homes, stressed out families, budget cuts at home and work, depressed neighbors, etc. Maybe going through all of that causes people to hunker down and focus on their own situations.

The problem is that such hunkering down causes people to become oblivious to others.

How can we move our country, workplaces, families, lives forward if we're oblivious to those around us? We can't. Wake up! Pay attention! There are other people out there suffering, celebrating, learning, doing, being, hanging on, thriving, crying, giving, laughing, needing, teaching. Don't be oblivious to them!

If you want others to pay attention to you, do not be oblivious to others. If you don't want to be treated like a guest in someone else's world, don't treat people like they are guests in yours.

Who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

The Peanuts comic strip was in the news for turning sixty years old recently, which prompts the question: who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

For sixty years, Lucy has been pulling the football out from Charlie Brown as he runs to kick it. She gets him to fall for the trick every time. Once he falls for the trick and winds up on his backside, Lucy mocks him for doing so. She mocks him for trusting her, for thinking they are friends, for believing in her one more time.

We are supposed to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but isn't Lucy the more pitiful character?

Sure, Charlie Brown ends up on his backside, embarrassed.

But, Charlie Brown believes in people. He sees value and goodness in people, even when they don't deserve it.  He gives second chances. He roots for the underdog (or, under-tree--see the Christmas episode!). In the back of his mind, Charlie Brown must suspect that Lucy will disappoint him, but he continues to give her chances.

It is natural to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but perhaps it is Lucy we should pity instead.

Is it better to be someone who roots for the underdog and gives people chances or someone who takes advantage of others and mocks them?

Would you rather be the one taking advantage of others or the one who believes in others? Who do you think would make the better leader in the long-term? Who do you think would make the better coworker? Who do you think will have the better impact on others?

Lucy might be the one pulling the football out from under Charlie Brown, but is Charlie Brown pulling off the bigger trick? Would you rather be like Lucy or Charlie Brown?

Now That Takes Guts!

With a beaming smile on her face, Dana Maguire crossed the finish line of Kansas City's recent marathon in 1,560th place. There were 1,560 entrants. She was last.

As a friend told her, “Dead-last finish is better than did not finish, which greatly trumps did not start.”

What were you doing October 17, 2009 from 7am until 2pm? Dana may have been dead last, but others did not finish, and another 1.5 million Kansas Citians did not start.

Dana clocked in at 6 hours, 59 minutes and 14 seconds. She told a Kansas City Star reporter that during the race she doubted herself and cried but never considered quitting. She knew early on that she would be last, but she knew she could do it.

Dana found out what she's made of during the marathon. And, she has guts! For her beaming smile, perseverance, and ability to stare quitting in the face and not do it, Dana is this week's worthwhile Gut Check! Way to go, Dana!

(For the story in the Kansas City Star: http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/story/1524835.html)

Branding: It's all in the details

The buzz about branding is everywhere from corporations to job seekers. Branding is about the customer-, or interviewer-, experience at every level of communication with the brand. Organizations obsessed with branding stand out, as shown by two different companies over the last week.

Last week, I spoke at a conference held at a hotel. The first day, I pulled into the parking lot and noticed an empty soft drink bottle discarded in the spot. It was there the second day, and the third too. It wasn't in my way and was no big deal, but it stood out that the hotel did not clean its parking garage.

How often should a hotel clean its garage? What is the standard of excellence for that? I don't know, but as part of their brand, it stood out that they do not clean it daily.

One of the reasons it stood out to me is because of a different experience elsewhere.

The same week, I was eating in a window booth at Burger King. The window was on the drive-thru side of the restaurant. A uniformed BK employee was crouched on the ground in the drive-thru lane. I worried she would get run over by a hungry driver, but she moved when she heard the car coming. After the car took its food, she went back to the lane and bent down again.

This time, I could see what she was doing. She was scraping gum off the drive-thru lane. She was using a putty-knife-looking-tool to scrape gum! I couldn't believe it!

Burger King cares enough about their brand, and their customer experience, to ask an employee to scrap gum! Frankly, it made me think they must pay close attention to their food too.

Branding is essential because every experience impacts trust. Every time your customers interact with your organization, trust is affected for better or worse. Build bridges to your customers by paying attention to the details, or risk burning bridges. Both depend on the details.

Common Sense Sales Skills are not Always Common

Doesn't every sales person know by now how important it is to ask questions and understand needs before making the sales call? Isn't that the very basic first step in sales?

I met a gal who recently hung her marketing shingle because former coworkers told her she'd be great at marketing. The thing is, she has never been in marketing. Her coworkers knew her as a recruiter, and while there are marketing elements involved in that job, it is a different job. Is it really wise to start a company in this current climate only on the basis of your friends telling you how great you would be? Not a smart move, in my opinion.

It is smart to attend functions where your target clients are, especially if you are selling yourself as a marketing expert.

A smarter move would be to get to know them and ask questions, rather than hog the entire conversation with your insistence that these targets know nothing about marketing. Believe it or not, many have marketing agencies already and others are smart marketers themselves. You are not some type of sales savior coming to save the day, as there have been dozens of marketing experts visit the same group. Sitting across from four targets over lunch, bombarding them with how much they need you, while not asking even one question, is just silly.

It was smart to attend but not knowing how to conduct yourself there showed you are an amateur in what you are trying to promote as your expertise.

Basic Sales 101 should be common sense to someone who runs a marketing firm. Ask questions! Ask questions! Ask questions! If you read one book on sales, the importance of identifying needs first would be clear to you. The fact that you spent the entire break time talking about yourself was an amateur move, it was insulting to experts at the table, and it was socially rude.

Don't listen only to your friends when setting up a new business. Don't set one up in an area for which your only expertise is a ten-year-old college degree. Don't set one up then screw up what you are trying to sell to others.

Don't try to sell yourself as an expert when it's clear you do not grasp even the very basics of what you are promoting. Figure out the basics first, then sitting with you over lunch might be interesting.

Missing the Obvious

Have you ever seen someone in a meeting and wondered to yourself, "Didn't he look in the mirror before leaving his house?" Or, "Doesn't she know dogs come running when she talks with that high-pitched tone?" Or, "Who does he think he is being late all the time?"

Why do people miss the obvious?Is it lack of self-awareness?

Perhaps he was in a hurry to get ready for the day and is lucky to be wearing pants at all, much less be concerned with the falling hem and kool-aid stains. Perhaps she hasn't noticed people constantly ask her to repeat because her voice is like one of those silent dog whistles. Perhaps he is oblivious to his tardiness because he has a busy day ahead. Perhaps they aren't paying attention to how they affect others.

Is it lack of knowledge? Perhaps they think the outfits fit, they squeaky voice is endearing, or their tardiness quirky? Maybe they don't know their actions contribute to their professional reputations, which affect how others treat them?

Are people simply too busy to think about the impression they give? Or, do we simply not care any more?