Nerds need charm too

When I saw the recent report (posted below) about the start of MIT's 19th annual Charm School, the first thought I had was, "If the A+ kids get charm and social skills, what jobs will be left for the C students?" Typically, the top 1% of the class, the brainiest students, become scientists, researchers, professors, while the middle of the class becomes sales people, team leaders, and customer service associates.

What happens if the smarties acquire the social skills--what happens to the middle students?

I am glad the engineers and other brilliant nerds, as they call themselves in the clip, from MIT get access to basic social and etiquette skills. They need it. But, they don't need it more than B and C students and I hope all universities and corporations are paying attention.

B and C students may possess social skills naturally, but they need to hone business etiquette in order to represent themselves and their companies well internally and externally. My first book, Secrets of Seasoned Professionals, captures basics and beyond because damaging a reputation over offenses that could be avoided is unnecessary. (Book on Amazon)

As MIT figured out when it began its Charm School 19 years ago, how you act is as important as what you know. That's true for nerds and C students alike.

After pondering this for a few days, and catching a few episodes of Big Bang Theory, I've concluded that the nerds an be charming, but there will always be a need for the B and C students--there's only so much charm a person can learn.

Bazinga!

Speakers: we've got to do better!

Some young business colleagues posted this video with the caption "this is why we all hate speakers!" Oh, sure, a few bad lecturers give all speakers a bad name. The only way to change that reputation is by being interesting and impactful--not like this video!



What do you think: are the thoughts conveyed here realistic or way off base?

Is your strategy inducing confidence or shaking it?

 If one of your biggest clients said "It appears that they're lost right now" about your company, what would you do?

This morning's print edition of The Wall Street Journal includes an article about Hewlett-Packard (H-P), its strategy, and how it has communicated with customers and investors. The first line of the article is: Hewlett-Packard Co.'s recent strategic moves have shaken the confidence of investors. Now customers of the technology giant are also getting nervous. A few paragraphs later a big customer is quoted saying, "It appears that they're lost right now."

It's bad enough that a big customer considers his supplier lost, but the feeling is shared by others--and published in  The Wall Street Journal!

In the article, H-P executives defended their strategy and claimed to be in "constant contact with our customers to explain our strategy and ensure their needs are being met." Apparently their customers are unaware of the "constant contact" because many are confused and disappointed in H-P's strategy.

What has H-P done wrong?

It is unclear if H-P's strategic decisions are wrong--time will tell. What is clear is H-P's communication of their strategy has been wrong. When it comes to inducing confidence or shaking it, communication is key.

Communication with employees, customers, partners, vendors, and investors needs to be precise and targeted so the strategic direction has a chance of working. Poor communication can kill any strategic plan.

What have you done to ensure your strategic direction is confidence-inducing? Have you had enough communication with customers? Do employees understand it and know they're part of it? Whether you are charged with planning the direction of an entire multi-billion dollar corporation or a million dollar non-profit or a department of three, consider communication a critical part of your success.

H-P considers communication critical: Just three hours after the online edition of The Wall Street Journal was published, a second article which more thoroughly explains the strategy and how it is being communicated was published online. H-P has strong market position, so customer confidence has been stirred but not been shaken entirely.

When is the last time you talked with your customers about your strategy? Don't wait for them to voice their concerns to The Wall Street Journal to start the conversations. Confidence should be reinforced throughout each year.

For the full WSJ article:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903895904576544822297017068.html#ixzz1Wo2juG6M

A mouse can bring you the world

Through a few clicks of a mouse, you can connect with people from all over the world. You can connect with family you only see every few years, industry experts you've admired for years, politicians you love to hate, people who share your love of football, reading, yoga, or Star Wars. You can connect with like-minded souls who inform, inspire, and influence you daily.

Here's a Twitter video that explains it all. Enjoy!

Reader Query...
What has been your experience? Have you connected with people met online? Have virtual friends turned in to real-life friends, business colleagues, clients?

5 Things Kayne West Can Teach Us About Apologies

Have you ever embarrassed a coworker in front of others? Have you stolen someone's thunder? Have you stormed a stage during an awards ceremony because you thought someone else should have won?

Unless you're Kayne West, it's likely you answered "yes" to just two of those questions.

Mr. West stormed the stage during the VMAs last year when Taylor Swift was giving her acceptance speech for winning Best Female Video. He took the microphone from the stunned singer and proclaimed another artist should have won. The audience clapped in support of Ms. Swift once Mr. West exited the stage.

Mr. West was under a great deal of professional and personal pressure at the time of the awards ceremony.

Is being under pressure an excuse for stealing someone's moment?

Is being stressed an acceptable excuse for being rude?

No, it is not.

Although Mr. West spent the rest of the awards ceremony sulking, it did not take long for him to apologize. So far, he seems sincere in his apology and in his desire to make amends. He has taken positive steps that are worth learning from, including the following:

1. Apologize quickly. As soon as you realize you made a mistake, own it and apologize. Mr. West apologized within days of the incident, and he's repeated his apology throughout the year. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt to appear sincere.
2. Apologize to all affected by your error. Mr. West apologized to Ms. Swift, her family, friends, and fans. He also apologized to the awards show and to the other singer who was stunned to be mentioned in his rant.
3. Retreat. Mr. West admitted to being under pressure at the time, so he canceled a tour, stayed out of the public eye, and took care of his personal business. 
4. Be true to yourself. Mr. West points out that he was an impressive dresser with an unimpressive attitude. Being true to yourself, or genuine, contributes to the sincerity of an apology.
5. Make amends. Mr. West revealed yesterday that he had written a song for Ms. Swift. "I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won't take it then I'll perform it for her," West wrote. "She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows. She had no idea what hit her. She's just a lil girl with dreams like the rest of us." (SOURCE: www.RollingStone.com)

Mr. West's apologies have been straight-forward and specific. He has reached out to make amends and he seems sincere.

His actions are worth noting in a time when other celebrities, public figures, and corporations feign apologies.

The truth will be evident going forward. The 2010 VMAs are Sunday, so we'll all see what he does next.

Refrain from singing in the choir of complaints

Marshall Goldsmith shared a stat based on some of his recent research:

Employees spend 15 hours a month bad-mouthing upper management or listening to someone else bad-mouthing upper management.

And, the companies are paying them to do it! (Safe to assume those conversations are taking place during work hours, right?)

Sure, companies are struggling to survive and thrive past the recession right now, and, sure, upper management may have made mistakes with how they handled the recession. However, that does not mean it is acceptable to blast them behind their backs. It may be tempting to join the choir of complaints levied about Management, but resist for the greater good.

Whose greater good? Yours!
Management most often learns who says what. One of the "choir members" will be sashaying up to Exec Corner any minute to tattle on the group. You risk losing Management's trust, as well as trust from the rest of the choir. After all, everyone knows if you bad-mouth to them, you'll bad-mouth about them.

Keeping your opinions to yourself also helps the greater good of the organization. If the company and/or customer are not going to benefit by what you have to say, it would be wise to resist the urge to say it.

In fact, Goldsmith offers these 4 questions to consider prior to disclosing your opinions:

1. Is what you want to say going to help the company?
2. Is it going to help your customers?
3. Will it help the person you are speaking to?
4. Will it help the person you are speaking about?

If the answers are No, No, No, No, don't say it!

Resist the impulse to reveal every thought that enters your brain. Resist the impulse to comment, or agree, with others' negativity. Resist the urge to blast Management behind their back. Such resistance will keep you out of the choir, but it just may help you join a better, more influential, group.

How to Put Your Whole Self In #5

Put Your Curiosity In...

Notice how endearing it is when a three-year old asks, "Why?" a gazillion times? Even though it can be a little annoying at times, the curiosity is remarkable.

Imitate the child by asking, "Why?" and delving more to understand others better. Be curious and interested, and you'll be more interesting too.

Diane Sawyer, one of the book's all-in examples, says, "If there were rehab for curiosity, I'd be in it!" 

She strives to learn 30 things before breakfast. Way to go, Diane!

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From the new book available now: 

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way
Please click here for more information

Copyright 2010 Kelly A. Tyler

How to Put Your Whole Self In #2

Put Your Ears In...

Bodies are made with two ears and one mouth, so use them accordingly: listen twice as often as you speak. Pay attention to what others say, and do not say, so you can respond in the way most likely to achieve desired results. (Excerpt from the new book,  Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way.)

Sales people are notoriously bad at listening; although, many think they are good at it. If your process includes a pre-planned pitch to deliver at your first meeting or phone call, you are not listening.

A sales rep for a copier company called me at my home-office recently. His very first words to me were, "Are you the person in charge of purchasing equipment?" The next sentence was about how much money he could save me if I purchased a new copier machine from him. I explained my work and that the maintenance required for a machine in my home would not save me money. He argued that it would.

If only that example was rare. You've probably had similar experiences. If you are a sales person, or if you need to sell your coworkers on your ideas, do not emulate those poor role models.

Listen more than you speak and you will improve the results of interactions with others. And, that helps you be all-in.
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Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way

Please click here for more information