Watch out for happiness pushers

Watch out! They are lurking on every corner: they are happiness pushers. You probably know some, but here are a few signs just in case you need help recognizing them:

• They post "high on life" quotations on Facebook and Twitter every day...several times a day.
• They quote success gurus, even in live conversations, as if they are dear friends.
• They tell you to look on the bright side, no matter what the situation is as if how you look solves everything.
• They say they know how you feel, then they one-up whatever your situation is.
• They are less than successful in their business, relationships, life in general. You can tell this by what they complain about and how they respond to changes in their lives.

So, what's the problem with these people? Isn't it great to see only the bright side of life every day? What's wrong with "don't worry, be happy" as a life motto?

The problem is denial.

The fact is: life is not all sunshine, rainbows, and bunnies every minute every day. When people deny that, they don't really experience everything of life and they deny themselves something great.

When you don't face life's challenges head-on, but rather sweep them aside with a smile, you deny yourself a tremendous sense of accomplishment. Greatness is built by handling adversity, not by pretending it isn't there. Challenges are life's way of revealing who you really are, so if you put on a brave face and fake happiness, you miss out on that revelation.

We do not have to be happy every minute of every day. People who push happiness as if it is a character flaw when you don't feel happy are phony, oblivious, or dumb.

It is okay to be upset, to worry, to be afraid. Admit how you feel and handle the issue. You will feel much better once the challenge is resolved than if you just pretended to be happy that whole time.

Give yourself the opportunity to overcome obstacles by not being happy every minute. When it comes to happiness pushers, just say, "No".

Success: do you really want it?

Everyone says they want to be successful, but few do the work required to achieve success. Everyone wants to be at the top of their field, but few do the work required to get there. Everyone wants to be extraordinary, but few do the little extra to go from ordinary to extraordinary.

I refuse to believe we are here to be ordinary. There is more in store for those who do the work, pay attention, and give more. If success came easy, everyone would have it. It takes hard work, perseverance, knowledge. It also takes less sleep, as mentioned in the video below. Clearly, few high school athletes prepare and practice like the young man in the video. On a business level, few managers do the equivalent in their fields. But, you can.

If you really want success, if you are All-In, success is there for the taking. Go get it.

 

Top Twelve Twitter Tactics

Twitter is a social media tool that enables users to post updates 140-characters at a time. It began in the summer of 2005 and has grown to more than 300 million users worldwide. As with other social media and internet-based tools, Twitter has evolved. Its use has evolved from mundane updates about personal breakfast choices to celebrity cyber-fandom to innovative charity drives.

One example of Twitter's use is the Twestival, which is a grassroots social media fundraising initiative that has generated more than $1 million in less than two year for more than 125 charities. All events are organized by volunteers and 100% of ticket sales goes to projects.

A second example is the innovative involvement of Twitter in The Voice, a singing competition which gives fans of the contestants, judges, and host unprecedented access to engage. “The kind of closeness, access and insider perspective that Twitter provides combined with a TV show is a really magical connection,” says Chloe Sladden, Twitter’s director of content and programming.

Additional Twitter uses include power outage notifications, flash mob instructions, conference communications, government rebellion updates, and university security emergencies. Twitter's use has evolved, and its users need to keep up. 

There are self-annointed Twitter gurus out there to provide their two cents on how you should use Twitter today. The list below includes my philosophy, based on my experience as a consultant, speaker, small business leader, entreprenuer, nonprofit leader, spiritual active participant in life. I'm not a guru, just an active user who has benefitted with friendships, clients, and knowledge from Twitter.

12 Twitter Do's and Do Not's

The Do's:,

1. Be social. Join the conversation, comment, RT, and reply. Lurking is not social and, while informative, will not be profitable.
2. Return follows. Twitter limits how many people you can follow who do not follow back, so I follow everyone back (except porn stars, get-rich-quick schmemers, and account-holders-but-non-posters). If you don't follow someone back, you limit the number of people they can follow, so, in my opinion, it is good manners to return follows.
3. Avoid self-promoters. It is time-consuming scrolling through endless sales pitches of self-absorbed people who use the tool incorrectly. De-follow them. (Yes, this is an exception to #2)
4. Use 140 characters. It is common today to dismiss the 140-character rule and cause people to click for your complete thought. If you cannot make the complete thought within the 140-character allotment, do not tweet it. Or, post it as a blog and clearly link it as a blog post.
5. Use your own words. Posting quotations is acceptable, but it is annoying if it's the only thing you do. People want to hear what you have to say. If you do not have anything new to say, refrain from posting. Constantly posting others' words shows you have nothing new to add to conversations.
6. Show appreciation for good tweets by RT'ing them, thanking the poster, or connecting that poster with others. Gratitude goes a long way in social media.

The Do Not's

1. Do not auto-tweet every minute of every day. I de-followed someone who did that, literally every minute, today.  No one wants your messages to take up the entire screen allotment.
2. Do not auto-tweet only. Twitter works best as an engagement tool, not as one-way blasts.
3. Do not overly promote yourself, your business, or your latest MLM venture. You lose credibility and interest, just as you would if you spoke in a self-absorbed manner in person.
4. Do not post a thought in 100 characters and use the 40 remaining characters to link to your book on amazon.com. That's just trampy.
5. Do not auto-DM your new followers. It is very 2010 to use DMs as auto-responders, but it would be acceptable to DM to engage in genuine conversation.
6. Do not post FF on Fridays any more--again, so 2010. Feel free to post a FF once in a while, even one a day, but do not post ten in a row full of FFs.

That's the list of Do's and Do Not's that are top-of-mind today. To sum up: treat Twitter followers with the same manners and respect you use with people in person.

What else would you add to the list?

Does Relate-ability Lead to Ratings?

Have you been there? Have you been in Conan O'Brien's shoes? Minus the $40 million payout for leaving, can you relate to what's happened to him the last two weeks?

After seven months as the host of The Tonight Show, Conan was asked to give up his dream job so Jay Leno, who held it before him and performed very well, could have it back. 

Has something like that happened to you?

Have you ever been passed up for a promotion, even though you were the most qualified? Have you ever felt like your boss set you up to fail instead of succeed? Have you ever felt unappreciated or embarrassed by your organization?

I suspect many people can relate to Conan's situation and have tuned in to see how he'd handle it.

Since he's been expressing his dismay at the situation, people continue to tune in to his show. Just last Friday night, his ratings were 50% higher than a typical Friday and near the level of his biggest competitor, David Letterman. His ratings are up 80% in the highly desired young adult category.

Conan's ratings are soaring.

Is there a correlation between Conan's relate-ability and his show's ratings? Is there a correlation between how people feel about Leno and his show's performance? (I wonder why the network didn't realize a main reason Leno was successful at 10:30pm was because of convenience v. relate-ability, but that's a different article.) 

There is probably a correlation between relate-ability and performance in your office.

Keep your promises and set your people up for success, and you'll meet the minimum standard of relate-ability.

The Power of Trust & 5 Ways to Build It

Trust between employees and management, and among both groups, is a critical element in organization survival and success today.

Trust is not a line item on a P&L, but the level of trust between two people, or people and organizations, shows the quality of the relationship. The quality of the relationship indicates whether the relationship will overcome challenges. Organizations today are facing the biggest challenges of the last 25 years (much more for many); therefore, they need solid relationships to thrive. Solid relationships are built on trust.

While trust is tough to measure in terms of dollars, lack of trust is expensive.

What does it cost your organization when a high caliber employee goes to a competitor? What does it cost when production is slowed by merely 5%? By 25%? What does it cost when disengaged employees work there, negatively impact morale among coworkers, or actively sabotage your company? What does it cost to replace good people who leave because poor performers are not held accountable? A culture of distrust is an expensive problem.

On the other hand, a culture of trust can be profitable. Jason Grove, Vice President of Operations for Dimensional Innovations (www.dimin.com), points out that trust is critical, but business success is based on making money. Mr. Grove says, “If you trust good people to do their jobs, they’ll do them. This is the way we do business, and it works.”

Unfortunately, the turbulent economic conditions facing many businesses today diminish the trust level within them. Several recent studies have shown up to 60% of employees do not trust their senior leaders to get their organizations back on track. Over the years, psychological studies consistently discuss trust as something which is built, rather than innate; therefore, management can do something about it.

Management can build a culture of trust using the following strategies:
1. Instill a compelling Vision. Herb Kelleher, co-founder of Southwest Airlines, distinguished his company by unifying everyone around the Vision of freedom. They are selling freedom “to move about the country” and their employees work toward that Vision. What is the greater purpose for your organization? If you cannot recite it immediately, you can bet your bottom dollar no one else there can either. Without it, people resort to their personal reasons for working there, which may not be synchronized with each other.

2. Get the right people in the right jobs. Jim Collins described it in Good to Great as getting the right people on the bus in the right seats. Leaders need to make decisions about people and hold them accountable for their performance to ensure the right ones work there.

3. Be open and honest about the facts. Face the truth about where you are and where you’re heading, and let your people know. It is common during a crisis for leaders to bury themselves in work and try to figure it out on their own, but that is precisely the wrong course to take. Employees want to know the truth, and they can handle it.

4. Make tough decisions. Leaders need to make decisions without being wishy-washy. Build trust among employees by doing what is right, even if it is hard. Do not be afraid to be a leader when faced with hard decisions.

5. Recognize success. Acknowledge accomplishments and thank employees for them. Give positive feedback when goals are met. Set reasonable goals which can be met in today’s circumstances.

Leaders should use the five strategies described here to build a culture of trust during this economic crisis and continue fostering the culture as the crisis subsides. If you build a relationship of trust with employees, they will perform their best for you and the company. The relationship is priceless and powerful.

Copyright © 2009 Kelly A. Tyler