Paterno's greatest lesson

Penn State's head football coach Joe Paterno died today. He died just two months since the revelation that he did not prevent a child molester, one of his assistant coaches, from abusing young boys on the part of the campus he was responsible for the last 45+ years.

Paterno was fired in disgrace after reports came out about him ignoring witness reports of sexually abusive behavior taking place in the football team's locker room. Paterno himself admitted to not doing enough to prevent further abuse. The university fired him and severed all media and marketing ties with him. Some are saying he died of a broken heart after being so humiliated by the disgrace of his firing from his beloved university.

Since the child molestation crimes of Penn State's former assistant coach and Paterno's knowledge and acceptance of the molestation have become public knowledge, millions of people are angry at Paterno, but he still has some supporters. There are some people who have said today that "we should let the man rest in peace." Others have said they "will show Paterno the kind of peace he showed the children victimized on his watch: none!"

Within the Penn State family, Paterno was treated as a saint and revered as a man of remarkable character. Outside of Penn State, however, stories about his poor character, rudely offensive behavior, and lack of discipline among his teams are common, if not well known. Paterno's reputation within Penn State and outside of it have always been very different. The difference is even more evident since his lack of action to prevent child molestation became public.

In November, just after the assistant coach was arrested, I blogged about Paterno and others being true to who they are. (blog post) I wrote: Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well. You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.

Now that Paterno has died, I wonder if he ever saw himself for who he really was.

I wonder what went through Paterno's mind during the last few hours of consciousness of his life. I wonder if he prayed and sought forgiveness for allowing the abuse to continue for so many years. I wonder if he hoped his legacy would be the good things he did during his life instead of the revelations of the last two months. I wonder if he was mad at Penn State for severing ties, thinking he didn't deserve it. I wonder if he was at peace with the legacy he leaves behind.

The lesson we can all take from Paterno's death and the recent months is that we should live so the answer about our legacy is clear. And, is desirable.

Whether we're thinking about the legacy of our lives or our departures from our jobs, volunteer leadership positions, or social events, we should live deliberately so there is no doubt about our legacy.

What do you want people to say about you after you leave your current company? Or, department, neighborhood, school, client, networking group, association chapter, or church? If you do not want people cheering your departure, choose your actions accordingly. If you do want people to miss you, remember you fondly, and appreciate your work, choose your actions accordingly.

So, whether you are on a big stage like Paterno was, people in your life will remember you one way or another.

You decide.

3 lessons old people teach us about fun

All-In strategy number five, from the book Put Your Whole Self In! Life & Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way, is to Enjoy Now.

I talk in the book and in presentations about not putting off joy until something happens--like the mortgage is paid off, a new coworker arrives, the lazy boss is ousted, the kids go off to college. Seek something to honor, appreciate, and celebrate every day. Seek to laugh every day and to make someone else laugh daily too.

Here's a video that made me laugh this week:

Three things can we all learn from that clip:

1. Don't wait for joy to find you today. Create it for yourself and those around you.
2. Be prepared for fun at any time. Have the right tools--like an extra steering wheel.
3. The event may be brief, but the laugh can last a long time.

One more lesson: as funny as this was, it's from a movie. Don't create your own joy at others' expense; for example, causing accidents while driving. There's enough jokers on the road these days.

Have a terrific Friday and weekend being All-In!

Self-indulgent buffoonery damages teams

If you watched last night's NFL game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Pittsburgh Steelers, you saw Bob Costas express his opinion about America's culture growing more stupid and graceless, as reflected in sports. Costas speaks about the spontaneous displays of enthusiasm versus calculated obnoxious displays.

Take a look:

Costas refers to yesterdays Buffalo Bills v. New York Jets game during which a Bills player's celebratory antics cost his team a penalty, which made it easy for the Jets to score the game-winning touch down. When the same self-absorbed player dropped a pass near the end of the game, he did not do an apology dance, Costa says.

Costa asks where the coaches are and why the coaches don't bench players when their antics damage their team. So far, I have not seen a coach respond. What could a coach say, "It's just boys being boys"? I've heard that response often when this topic is debated. The problem with it is that the boy being a boy often causes penalties. When self-absorption impacts teammates or the outcome of a game, the coaches and team leaders need to step in. Team leaders can help the ego-driven athlete understand his role as a teammate and coaches can ensure the message is received.

Most players do not indulge in graceless buffoonery after they score. Most players understand where the line between buffoonery and enthusiasm is drawn, and they have the accurate filter through which to behave. The few who do not look foolish because of their actions, immature because of their lack of control, and selfish because they do not care about their teams.

The same can be said of teams within workplaces. I have not seen a teammate jump on a boardroom table, pull a pen out of his sock, and sign an approved proposal while spinning on his head. But, I have seen emails in which business teammates take credit for someone else's work. I have seen workplace teammates take jabs at others during meetings so they can keep all the attention. I've seen work teammates cause extra work for the whole team just to ensure that someone else does not get to make a good play.

Jealousy, insecurity, and lack of confidence cause the same type of buffoonery Costas refers to in the NFL. In fact, in his opening statement, Costas says our culture is growing more stupid and graceless and sports reflects it.

Another famous football legend, Lou Holtz, said, "When you reach the end zone, act like you've been there before." When players dance around like it's their first time in the end zone and they are shocked to see the view from there, they probably do not realize how they look to most people watching. The same can be said when workplace teammates behave in mindless exhibitionism.

What do you think: is there a line between enthusiasm and self-indulgence? How have you seen the line blurred at work? What should the leaders do about it?

Does being a team-player matter any more?

Being a team-player used to mean you put the team first--ahead of personal needs or goals. If a teammate needed extra time in the gym, you went with him. If he needed to kick 50 extra field goals after practice, you shagged balls. If she needed to work on serves, you shagged volleyballs for her. It didn't matter if you had already worked out, were the highly touted quarterback, or already had your scholarship in hand and didn't need to work on serving. Teammates put the team first.

When today's NFL players score touchdowns, they flip, pump their chests, and point at themselves. Twenty years ago, players "acted like they'd been in the end zone before," to quote Lou Holtz. Players did not need the individual recognition because they played for the team.

What mattered was the final score of the game, not one play. What mattered was being there when a teammate needed you. What mattered was the team.

Sports teams and corporate project teams have much in common. Do today's teams share diminished appreciation of the team-player?

Do today's teammates put themselves ahead of the team?

There is a lot of finger-pointing going on among teams today. The pointers don't realize when one finger is pointed out, three more are pointing back. People are eager to hold others accountable--what a buzzword that is! The subconscious mindset seems to be, "Everyone else should just do their jobs! Do them really well so I can turn in a mediocre performance after watching Jersey Shore."

Mediocre team performance is accepted today because people know someone else will compensate for weak performers. Today, when a group hears the phrase, "There's no 'I' in 'team," nearly everyone in the room responds with, "But there is a ME!" The prevailing attitude is "me first."

Perhaps if more teammates were team-players instead of me-players, the teams would experience more success. Being a team-player matters to winning teams. It's the losers who don't get it.


[What do you think? Do today's teams prefer team-players or me-players? Share your thoughts.]

Good sportsmanship or soft competitor?

As the winningest player in Kansas University basketball history walked off the court of his final home game last night, the arena chanted and cheered their love for the team leader. Senior Sherron Collins said he didn't want the game to end. As he was leaving the court to an ovation from his home crowd, a player on the court for the opposing Kansas State team clapped along with the crowd.

Kansas State was losing by 20 points, so it was not a close game by the time the final thirty seconds ticked away. If you were still in the game, would you have cheered then or waiting to shake Collins's hand after the game? Does being on the floor matter?

Do you think the Kansas State player clapping showed good sportsmanship? Or, do you think the clapping showed weakness?

If you were the coach of the Kansas State player, what, if anything, would you say to him in the locker room after the game?

What are your thoughts: good sportsmanship or soft competitor?