Watch out for happiness pushers

Watch out! They are lurking on every corner: they are happiness pushers. You probably know some, but here are a few signs just in case you need help recognizing them:

• They post "high on life" quotations on Facebook and Twitter every day...several times a day.
• They quote success gurus, even in live conversations, as if they are dear friends.
• They tell you to look on the bright side, no matter what the situation is as if how you look solves everything.
• They say they know how you feel, then they one-up whatever your situation is.
• They are less than successful in their business, relationships, life in general. You can tell this by what they complain about and how they respond to changes in their lives.

So, what's the problem with these people? Isn't it great to see only the bright side of life every day? What's wrong with "don't worry, be happy" as a life motto?

The problem is denial.

The fact is: life is not all sunshine, rainbows, and bunnies every minute every day. When people deny that, they don't really experience everything of life and they deny themselves something great.

When you don't face life's challenges head-on, but rather sweep them aside with a smile, you deny yourself a tremendous sense of accomplishment. Greatness is built by handling adversity, not by pretending it isn't there. Challenges are life's way of revealing who you really are, so if you put on a brave face and fake happiness, you miss out on that revelation.

We do not have to be happy every minute of every day. People who push happiness as if it is a character flaw when you don't feel happy are phony, oblivious, or dumb.

It is okay to be upset, to worry, to be afraid. Admit how you feel and handle the issue. You will feel much better once the challenge is resolved than if you just pretended to be happy that whole time.

Give yourself the opportunity to overcome obstacles by not being happy every minute. When it comes to happiness pushers, just say, "No".

3 ways to avoid success

How can you tell if someone wants to be successful? Perhaps they arrive at the office earlier than others, tackle challenging work, or propose innovative ideas toward progress. There are some obvious signs of success.

How can you tell if someone is a failure? Perhaps they sleep in until 8am, passively market their ideas, or do not have any ideas. There are some obvious signs of failure. There are some less obvious signs too, and three are listed below.

Three routes to avoid success and find failure:

1. Coattail Riding: Success does not come to those who ride the coattails of others. If you do not work hard yourself, you will not experience the same level of success as others, even if a little of their light shines on you.
2. Copying: Success does not come to copycats. Be original. Have something new to say. If you do not work hard to be a leader in your field of expertise, you will not be an expert. Reading someone else's work can be helpful and interesting, but copying it as your own will not make you successful. 
3. Crying: There's no crying over errors. Successful people keep moving forward, as it says in Put Your Whole Self In! Crying, wallowing, and whining are guaranteed routes to failure.

Those three routes to failure seem like they would be obvious too. Yet, many people ride coattails, copy, and cry rather than do the work required to be at the top of the heap.

Success: do you really want it?

Everyone says they want to be successful, but few do the work required to achieve success. Everyone wants to be at the top of their field, but few do the work required to get there. Everyone wants to be extraordinary, but few do the little extra to go from ordinary to extraordinary.

I refuse to believe we are here to be ordinary. There is more in store for those who do the work, pay attention, and give more. If success came easy, everyone would have it. It takes hard work, perseverance, knowledge. It also takes less sleep, as mentioned in the video below. Clearly, few high school athletes prepare and practice like the young man in the video. On a business level, few managers do the equivalent in their fields. But, you can.

If you really want success, if you are All-In, success is there for the taking. Go get it.

 

Self-indulgent buffoonery damages teams

If you watched last night's NFL game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Pittsburgh Steelers, you saw Bob Costas express his opinion about America's culture growing more stupid and graceless, as reflected in sports. Costas speaks about the spontaneous displays of enthusiasm versus calculated obnoxious displays.

Take a look:

Costas refers to yesterdays Buffalo Bills v. New York Jets game during which a Bills player's celebratory antics cost his team a penalty, which made it easy for the Jets to score the game-winning touch down. When the same self-absorbed player dropped a pass near the end of the game, he did not do an apology dance, Costa says.

Costa asks where the coaches are and why the coaches don't bench players when their antics damage their team. So far, I have not seen a coach respond. What could a coach say, "It's just boys being boys"? I've heard that response often when this topic is debated. The problem with it is that the boy being a boy often causes penalties. When self-absorption impacts teammates or the outcome of a game, the coaches and team leaders need to step in. Team leaders can help the ego-driven athlete understand his role as a teammate and coaches can ensure the message is received.

Most players do not indulge in graceless buffoonery after they score. Most players understand where the line between buffoonery and enthusiasm is drawn, and they have the accurate filter through which to behave. The few who do not look foolish because of their actions, immature because of their lack of control, and selfish because they do not care about their teams.

The same can be said of teams within workplaces. I have not seen a teammate jump on a boardroom table, pull a pen out of his sock, and sign an approved proposal while spinning on his head. But, I have seen emails in which business teammates take credit for someone else's work. I have seen workplace teammates take jabs at others during meetings so they can keep all the attention. I've seen work teammates cause extra work for the whole team just to ensure that someone else does not get to make a good play.

Jealousy, insecurity, and lack of confidence cause the same type of buffoonery Costas refers to in the NFL. In fact, in his opening statement, Costas says our culture is growing more stupid and graceless and sports reflects it.

Another famous football legend, Lou Holtz, said, "When you reach the end zone, act like you've been there before." When players dance around like it's their first time in the end zone and they are shocked to see the view from there, they probably do not realize how they look to most people watching. The same can be said when workplace teammates behave in mindless exhibitionism.

What do you think: is there a line between enthusiasm and self-indulgence? How have you seen the line blurred at work? What should the leaders do about it?

Too legit to quit

An entrepreneur named Stanley Burrell announced  the launch of a new search engine at last week's Web 2.0 summit in San Francisco. Yawn...

Don't get too bored...

Burrell's stage name is MC Hammer. Yes, that MC Hammer. You remember him because he's too legit, too legit to quit. Hammer was one of the biggest rap stars of all time, selling more than 50 million records in his heyday. He is credited with being one of the innovators of pop-rap because his music appealed to fans of both in a unique way back in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

You also might remember him for his Hammer pants, Hammer time, and personal difficulties in the late 1990s.

He's come a long way since then.

When MC Hammer was in the midst of stardom and sang about being "too legit to quit," I thought he was focused on being "too legit." He admitted as much in interviews years after spending his $20 million fortune, losing his house, filing bankruptcy, and settling copyright infringement lawsuits. He has spoken in interviews on Oprah and VH1 and elsewhere about out-of-order priorities causing his downfall.

What stands out to me now is not the "too legit" part, it's the "to quit" part. It turns out the kid dancing to a boombox outside Oakland A's ballpark really was not going to quit.

Burrell has many business holdings including a record label, artist management company, MMA management company, horse racing stable, and clothing line (that does not sell Hammer pants, by the way). He also is an established internet mogul involved with several dance sites.

This guy came from living in a tiny house with eight siblings, dancing outside the A's stadium and made it to the height of super-stardom, then lost the superstar staus and financial security, then became a successful business mogul with diverse business interests. He's living life All In!

After all of the highs and lows, Stanley Burrell really is too legit to quit. I suspect his latest high-tech venture will be successful too. Or, at least if it's not, he will be just fine. MC Hammer: too legit to quit. Stanley Burrell: U can't touch this.

Question for Readers:

Who would have thought we could learn something from Hammer Time, but we can. Knock me over with a feather. My question for you: are you too legit to quit too?

Link to article on www.CNN.com

Leadership lesson learned from silver dollars

My paternal grandparents lived in Connecticut, and we lived a thousand miles away in Missouri. We would get together in the summers on family vacations and when the Yankees came to KC to play the Royals.

The last silver dollar from my grandfather on my desk today

Every time I would see my grandfather, just a few times a year, he would put a silver dollar in the palm of my hand and give me a wink. He made me feel like the most special person in the world, and I saved many of those coins. The last one he gave me prior to his death stays on my desk as a reminder to emulate him and how he interacted with people.

For years, my grandfather walked every day at the local mall. He knew everyone there and loved seeing the same people every day. The evening of his wake in 1997, cars lined the streets and police directed traffic for the hundreds of people who wanted to pay their respects at the funeral home. People waited in a line that twisted around the room and out in to a lobby area. The line was full of neighbors, friends, and lifelong friends of his five sons. The line also was full of people wearing a variety of uniforms required of workers at the mall. So many people who knew my grandfather only from his walks at the mall made the time to come to his wake.

I was so enthralled with all of those people, I introduced myself to as many as I could so they could tell me their stories. Each told stories about how my grandfather would stop for a brief greeting or just wave if they were busy, but he acknowledged them every day. He made them feel special every day. And, it turns out, he gave them silver dollars.

My whole life, I thought I was the only recipient of the silver dollars. As a child, I learned he gave them to my brothers and cousins too, but I thought that was it. He made us feel so special when he gave us those coins.It turns out, he was doing the same all over town! He gave them to the workers at the mall, at restaurants he frequented, auto repair shops, gas stations--everywhere!

It surprised and thrilled me to learn about his friendships with so many people none of us knew and to learn that he made them feel special. I bet many of them have the last silver dollar he gave them in a special place and remember him fondly, just as I do.

So, what's the leadership lesson here?

There are many lessons to be learned from my grandfather, but the main reason I keep the final silver dollar handy is the reminder to pay attention to others. Whether you are the leader of a company, department, home, church committee, or neighborhood, you are a leader because others follow you. The more special you make them, the more loyalty they will have for you. And, small gestures like a wink, smile, daily greeting can be all you need. My grandfather could have handed out pennies and people would have loved him. The way he made people feel is why they waited in traffic and in line to honor him. It was not about the money. It was about how valuable he made people feel because he genuinely saw them as valuable.

As a leader, if you feel sorry for people who look up to you, they can tell.

For example, if you run a call center but feel sorry for the employees answering the phone, they can tell you do not value them or their positions. Perhaps you think a 45-year old woman working in a call center has not had much of a career and will never make more than $50,000, so you feel sorry for her. You don't have to say anything for your demeanor to reflect your feelings about her. What you're missing is that she is a service-minded person who is thrilled to get paid $35,000 to help people. You might feel sorry that recent college graduates can't find better jobs than the entry level ones available in the call center. But, they might be thrilled to have day jobs while they work on their music careers at night. Your attitude toward entry level jobs is reflected, even if it is not stated.

The lesson from my grandfather would be not to judge people for holding those jobs, but to genuinely care about them. They are no worse than you, just as someone who makes twice your salary is no better than you. Don't judge them either. Don't be too busy or pre-occupied to be kind. Just be happy to see people and treat them as such.

So, the leadership lesson is to treat people as if they matter because you really think they do. It might be the Golden Rule, but it's embedded in my head and heart by silver dollars.

What additional leadership lessons do you see in this story about my grandfather?

The growth plan better extend beyond financial finagling

If the primary way your company can be profitable is by moving its headquarters, you're in trouble. If production costs have increased and operating costs have followed, and the best idea your leaders have is to reduce rent, update your resume because your company won't be around long.

Of course, saving on office expenses is wise. It should just not be the primary way a company alters its Income Statement. If you're in the movie business, figure out a way to make money in the movie industry. If you run an engineering firm, figure out how to be profitable in the engineering industry. If you run a bakery, bake some revenue-generating treats. If you're in real estate, move to generate income. But, don't be in the real estate industry if you're not in the real estate industry. If you can't make a buck in the business you're in, it's time to evaluate the business you're in.

Do not expect your shareholders and stakeholders to fall for financial finagling, even if it works short-term. They recognize when a company is at the end of its rope holding on.  

Be creative, be the expert in your industry, be innovative. Come up with ideas that inspire people--employees, clients, shareholders--rather than ideas that reek of last-ditch desperation. You might be surprised by what inspired, All-In, people do when they are invited to do more than pack their desks into boxes.

Every dog has his day

The best advice from my dad, or at least the advice I refer to most often, is that every dog has his day. The good dogs have their day, and the bad ones get theirs too.

The first time I remember my dad gave me that advice was after a coworker presented an idea of mine as his own. The idea was accepted, made the company a lot of money, and the coworker got the credit. Credit doesn't matter to me, but the raise and promotion that came along with it mattered.

After my coworker's presentation, I sought advice from my dad. He drove me out to Lake Jacomo (readers in Kansas City know the area), where we sat on top of a picnic table for over an hour. I ranted about the situation, probably conjuring up all kinds of wicked retaliation schemes no one would ever really try, and my dad calmly told me not to worry about it further after we get back in the car. He said, "Kelly, every dog has his day and you do not need to spend your energy on other dog's days. Earn the day you want to have because you will get your day too."

That's good advice to ponder because it is easy to get wrapped up in other dogs, who is getting what, and when. I try to focus on the part about earning the day I want to have. If every dog has his, or her, day, I want mine to be a good one. According to my dad, I have to earn it. I can't earn a good day if mine is spent worried about other dogs' days or when they get theirs.

Last week, as Father's Day approached, my dad's advice came to mind. I asked others to share the best advice they received, and a few of their answers are below.

Courtney's dad always stressed trying not to embarrass people -- we all know it's one of the worst feelings. Her dad went out of his way to lessen embarrassment for others in certain situations. For example, if someone -- even someone he had met previously -- was shaking his hand, he would always introduce himself while shaking back. He helped them avoid the embarrassment of forgetting his name. (We've all been there and could share Courtney's lesson on this one.)

Daniel's dad told him, "Give everything you do your best. There is NEVER an excuse for not giving it your all." (This is like go all-in or go home!)

Jennifer said her father was never a man of many words. His best advice? "Go ask your mother!" (I bet many of us have heard that over the years!)

Angel's father said, "If you are going to be one of those independent-type women, you had better learn how to do man stuff because I won't always be here to do it for you" -- said whilst teaching Angel how to tile the kitchen in her first house. (Angel is one of those independent-type women--a role model!)

Suzy's dad told her to go to college and take Accounting, and make a budget. (The budget advice is something we all can take.)

Greg's told him not to be a dairy farmer. (I'm not sure we'd all have the opportunity to be dairy farmers, but learning from our parents' careers would be wise for everyone.)

Mike's dad said, "Don't trust anybody that tells you their life story in the first 5 minutes after you meet them, and don't trust anyone that doesn't drink." (When someone is too open too soon it might signal an expectation different than yours. Guard up!)

Shawn's father told him to choose his battles wisely. (Pretty good advice for an attorney to remember in today's litigious society. Advice worth noting for all of us.)

Chris was told to go to MU, there are no girls at Rolla. (I spoke at Rolla recently and can assure you it's different now.)

Mary's dad (who is also my Uncle Joe) advised not to talk about politics or money. (Sound advice for Facebook, Twitter, and blogs--if you want to stay friends with a variety of people.)

William's father said he would go far in life if he had a plan instead of letting things come along. Becky was told to keep negative opinions about people to herself because expressing them would only lead to trouble. Mary Jo's dad told her to have monthly meetings with her husband so she knew all of the family finances. Brian's dad said he should save more money than he spends--advice that came in handy when Brian bought his first home at 28.

Great advice from dads we all can learn from. Thank you to all who shared.

Every dog has his day, and today is one for all the dads. Happy Father's Day to all the fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers, godfathers, mentors, and other influencers in kids' lives. Enjoy your day!

(Here are my dad and mom with their six grandchildren. The only one I have handy of my dad and me is from high school, so I figured you'd like this one better. Enjoy!)

Gossip in the tabloids is akin to gossip in the workplace

Some say they read tabloid magazines like People, US Weekly, and National Inquirer for the "escape from the real world." I submit that All-In people don't keep up on the lives of Paris, Arnold's mistress, or the latest celeb's rehab as a way to escape their own lives.

The tabloid paparazzi prevented a child from attending his eight grade graduation last week. Granted, his father is a famous actor and former Governor, and news of his birth just came out. So what? The child should not miss his own life events because a picture of him would fetch a pretty penny.

Who pays those pretty pennies? Readers of tabloid magazines like People, US Weekly, and National Inquirer.

It used to be comical to read those rags while in line at the grocery store or at the dentist office, but the stories are no longer about aliens abducting former TV stars with three arms. The stories are about real children who are not in the spotlight.

The stories, photographs, and tabloids aren't as innocuous as they used to be.

I suspect the same people who read the tabloids for their escape are the same who gossip in the workplace. They say they don't mean anything by it, but they sure can wreck havoc.

Workplace gossip can bring down an employee in the way tabloids bring down celebrities. Companies lose hours of productivity to gossip every year, but don't assume everyone is doing it.

All-In people do not gossip. I saw a terrific example last week.

As people were gathering early for a meeting at a client's office, a woman asked another if she heard about Phyllis. The second woman said she heard Phyllis had family affected by the Joplin tornado. As the first woman responded with, "Yes, her daughter lives there with her boyfriend and kids. I don't know where the children's father is since they are getting divorced." The second woman quickly put her hand up, looked the first in the eye and said, "Oh, I don't need to know the details of Phyllis's family. All I need to know is that she needs donations and I can help her." The first woman had no response. She knew the second was not going to listen, so she stopped.

While it is not always as simple as that, there are plenty of people who see office gossip as harmful as the tabloid gossip.

When one's own life is full and rewarding, there is no need to escape it. When one is happy with oneself, there is no need to gossip. When one is focusing on doing good in their own life, there is no need to celebrate the downfall of others at work or in Hollywood.

When one lives All-In, they don't gossip about coworkers or celebrities to escape from their own lives, or to shift focus away from themselves, or to harm someone else's reputation. Do they?

What do you think: is reading tabloids harmless fun? Is office gossip harmless too?

2011 brought to you by the letter "R"

Each Sesame Street show is famously brought to you by one of the letters of the alphabet. Along the same line, this new year is brought to you by a letter too: the letter R. This one year is a segment of our lives after all.

Kick off the new year by committing to these R words for the year:

Reflect
Resolve
Risk
Reward

Reflect daily about the good things in your life, your contributions to the world that day, who you made smile,what you are thankful for. It seems people tend to get absorbed in the negative too often--who makes us mad, who is annoying, what we don't have. Focus a little bit of time at the end of each day reflecting on the good things in your life. (This is like the Mirror Test in Put Your Whole Self In!)

Resolve to do better. Resolve to be the person you really see yourself as. Have you ever noticed people often say, "That's not who I am!" after they make a mistake or do something they are not proud of? For example, a student last semester told me he blew off studying for his final and was disappointed in himself. He said, "I am a hard worker. Blowing off finals is not who I am." In very kind terms, I told him it is who he is right now. He may not like it, he may want to be someone else, but he has to face the consequences of being who he is right now. And, he can do better next time. Resolve to be who you want to be, rather than who you used to be or who you wish you were.

Risk more often. Wisely, of course. Let this be the year you refrain from second-guessing yourself. Take chances when pursuing new business, reaching for a new career goal, building professional and personal relationships. Put yourself out there just a little bit more and see what happens. You might be surprised by the results that come from stretching yourself.

Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Rather than wait for someone else to acknowledge something good you've done, reward yourself. Management may not know what you did, clients might not realize the burden their last-minute changes had on you, friends and family might not see the behind-the-scenes effort that went in to the event you hosted. Don't expect others to reward you: reward yourself. Reducing the expectations of others in this regard will reduce the pressure on the relationships and might reduce your stress level too.

If you ponder the letter R throughout the year, and you reflect, resolve, risk, and reward yourself, your year will be tRemendous!

Reader Question:
What R words would you add to the list?

Who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

The Peanuts comic strip was in the news for turning sixty years old recently, which prompts the question: who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

For sixty years, Lucy has been pulling the football out from Charlie Brown as he runs to kick it. She gets him to fall for the trick every time. Once he falls for the trick and winds up on his backside, Lucy mocks him for doing so. She mocks him for trusting her, for thinking they are friends, for believing in her one more time.

We are supposed to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but isn't Lucy the more pitiful character?

Sure, Charlie Brown ends up on his backside, embarrassed.

But, Charlie Brown believes in people. He sees value and goodness in people, even when they don't deserve it.  He gives second chances. He roots for the underdog (or, under-tree--see the Christmas episode!). In the back of his mind, Charlie Brown must suspect that Lucy will disappoint him, but he continues to give her chances.

It is natural to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but perhaps it is Lucy we should pity instead.

Is it better to be someone who roots for the underdog and gives people chances or someone who takes advantage of others and mocks them?

Would you rather be the one taking advantage of others or the one who believes in others? Who do you think would make the better leader in the long-term? Who do you think would make the better coworker? Who do you think will have the better impact on others?

Lucy might be the one pulling the football out from under Charlie Brown, but is Charlie Brown pulling off the bigger trick? Would you rather be like Lucy or Charlie Brown?

Are you on the band wagon?

 The Kansas City Chiefs are 3 and 0! Three weeks in to the new season, and the Chiefs have won as many games as they won the entire 2009 season. Every Friday is Red Friday, and this year, red is everywhere.

By the end of last year, there was very little red wore to celebrate the team each week.

As a casual observer but not rabid fan of the Chiefs, I've noticed the Chiefs' band wagon is pretty well occupied during the down times. There are thousands of loyal Chiefs fans, as evidenced by the vitriolic sentiments expressed after last year's horrible season. I've also noticed the band wagon is over-flowing since the 2010 season is off to a great start.

I'm an avid Notre Dame football fan. We are having the opposite problem this year: people jumping off the band wagon. People are jumping off ND's band wagon so fast, there's a national shortage of crutches from all the ankle injuries resulting from their leaps.

The Chiefs are having a great season, they don't need more fans this year. If you weren't a fan last year, don't come along now for the glory. If you weren't buying game tickets when they were as cheap as a date with Paris Hilton, don't bemoan their high cost this year.

You have to be there for the heartbreak to celebrate.

If you're jumping off the ND band wagon this year, or you jumped off during the three previous coaches, stay off. If you're not there to shed tears of anguish over losing, don't come back with eyes welled up in tears of joy when the team is winning. Be there now, or stay away.

You have to earn your spot on the band wagon, whether we're talking about the Chiefs or Fighting Irish.

The same is true in life.

What band wagons are you on? Who are you loyal to? Who is on your band wagon? Who is loyal to you?
Are you more loyal than some people deserve or reciprocate? Is it time to get off some band wagons?

You earn spots on band wagons by being there for others when times are tough. It's easy to support someone when they are successful and life is going smoothly, but true loyalty is shown during the tough times.

It is not fun and glamorous to be there for someone whose business is struggling, or someone with cancer, or someone who was laid off. But, that's when you are needed most.

Jump on the band wagon during the losing seasons so you can enjoy the sweetness of winning seasons.

Go Chiefs!
Go Irish!

3 Ways to learn from "The Decision" and the aftermath of it

Unless you have been under a rock over the past 48 hours, you know last night was the announcement of The Decision. ESPN had its hype machines working double-time to promote and cover LeBron James's decision about where he will play basketball next year. There was theme music, special graphics, a pre-game show, and plenty of commercial breaks during The Decision show.

At approximately 8:30pm/central, the twenty-five-year-old basketball superstar announced his decision to depart his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. At approximately 8:32pm, jerseys were set afire in Cleveland and champagne bottles were popped in Miami.

As an infrequent follower of the NBA (the team left Kansas City in 1985) but a steadfast student of human behavior, the whole spectacle was captivating.

From the hype to the reactions, there are a few take-aways for leaders and employees:

#1 Money is not a primary motivator today.

James made it clear that he wants to win championships. He could have stayed where he was, in his hometown, earning millions of dollars, being loved and fawned over everywhere. But he wants to be on a championship-caliber team, and he feels that level exists in Miami and not Cleveland. People today, in all fields, levels, ages, want to be part of something greater than themselves. James wants to be on a championship-caliber team.

What do your employees and teammates want?

It's not about the money!

In light of the current economic environment, employers should be thrilled to know motivation goes deeper than money. Leaders need to face that and adapt to what motivates people today. (Read Dan Pink's new book, Drive, for the research to back this up.)

What are you doing to keep your James-caliber employees motivated?

#2 Loyalty is not a one-time occurrence but it is a two-way street.

Some former James fans are calling him disloyal for leaving Cleveland. Some are saying he let the city, fans, and team down and owed it to his hometown to stay. The team's owner called him a deserter and former hero. Does he owe it to them to stay with a team he does not think will win championships? Does he owe it to them to remain with a team he does not see positioning itself to win? Does he owe it to others to forgo his personal goal of winning championships?

No, he does not. And, neither do your employees or teammates.

If you got a job offer for your dream job, wouldn't you consider it? Of course. Or, would you pass on your dream job simply because your current employer hired you right out of college? There is more to loyalty than a one-time move.

Organizations need to earn loyalty all the time.

What are you doing to ensure that your superstars want to be on the team? Employers, team leaders, department managers, and teammates trusting the philosophy that those kept on during the recession will stay out of loyalty are likely to be setting themselves up for disappointment.

As for loyalty being a two-way street, employees need to earn loyalty all the time too. Perhaps if the team felt more loyalty to James, they would have better positioned themselves for championships.For some reason, the team did not open the wallets to retain the caliber of players needed to surround James and form a championship team. The team made its decision and James made his. No one knows how it will turn out, but both have to live with the results of their decisions.

Are you positioned to retain your best talent? Is your best talent positioning you to win championships in your industry? What needs to happen on a regular basis to ensure effective retention and reliance on your teammates?

#3 Childish emotional rants reinforce negative opinions.

Within an hour or two of the James announcement, the team owner published an open letter to the Cavaliers fans. In the letter (link: http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/news/gilbert_letter_100708.html), team owner Dan Gilbert wrote:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

Gilbert, the one person in a position of power to keep James in Cleveland, intimated that James is the following:

• Former hero
• Deserter
• Narcissistic
• Self-promoter
• Coward
• Betrayer
• Former "King"
• Shameful
• Selfish
• Disloyal
• Heartless
• Callous
• Cursed

There is a pencil-thin line between love and hate. But, before you print letters, publish proclamations, and promise results, get your emotions under control. Gilbert's letter reads like it was written by a nine-year-old sent to bed without dessert. 

Name-calling and false guarantees only reinforce the player's decision to leave. 

When someone leaves your team, how do you respond? Be careful. Others are watching and listening, and they know if you say it about a former teammate, you'd say it about them too.

In another part of the letter, Gilbert states he is even more motivated now that James is leaving. He says:

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

If it takes a teammate's departure to fire leaders up to win, then that says more about the leaders than the player--whatever the industry.

There are dozens of take-aways from the hype leading up the The Decision, to the event itself, and the reactions so far. If you ponder and implement based on the three discussed here, you will be a better leader and position your team for success better. And, you will do it without theme music, a television show, or hype. You can let your results speak for themselves.

In the meantime, Gilbert is slated to hold a press conference in about 30 minutes.It might be time to bury oneself under a rock for the next 48 hours.

Now, that takes guts! And, muscle, hands, and heart too!

When a building is on fire, is your natural tendency to run away from it or toward it? If you were inside it, would you run out as fast as you could or would you run back in the burning building to save a coworker?

Think about your coworkers...

Would you risk your life to save them? Any one of them? Would any of them risk their lives to save you?

Well, risk his life is what Jim Baker did.

Jim is a Kansas City firefighter who was on the scene of a smoke-filled building two months ago today. He was inside, along with his captain and others, when evacuation orders were shouted from those outside. As firefighters from seven companies made their way outside, Jim noticed his captain was not among them. Jim ran back inside the smoke-filled, pitch-black building to find his captain.

Captain Joiner's airpack got snagged on something, and he was stuck. As fire was nearing him, Captain Joiner radioed for help and saw Jim Baker coming toward him. A very strong Jim Baker freed Captain Joiner and got him close enough to the exit for others to help him out of the building.

Jim risked his own life to saved another. Jim saved his captain's life that day.

Both men suffered burns but are recovering, with more healing to come.

The guts of a firefighter are unfathomable to me. But, I recognize when someone uses their muscles, hands, brains, and heart in a gut-filled manner. Saving a life: now that takes guts!

I don't know Captain Joiner, but I do know Jim Baker. I've known him his whole life, and, honestly, his behavior that day is not shocking. No one I've spoken to about this has said, "Really? Jimmy Baker did that? No way!" Most people just nod their heads and say something about what a good person Jim has always been. They are right. His family is one of my all-time favorites. I love his family and am glad to write about Jim as today's Gut Check role model.

Would I be like Jim and run in to a building to save a life? I don't know. But, I am going to work on making the trip worth it in case someone else is faced with that decision about my life.



(http://www.nbcactionnews.com/news/local/story/Firefighters-Recovering-from-Burns/TL4jbeDBI0ajo24MsaPEJw.cspx)

Conjuring up the Christmas Spirit

A dear friend recently asked for a little help conjuring up the Christmas spirit. You should know Pat has a family he loves, a good job he likes most of the time, and a positive outlook on life. He's not down-and-out or self-centered or a Scrooge of any kind. Pat is a great guy doing the best he can to make the world a better place every day.

His question made me wonder if many other similar non-Scrooge-like people struggle to find the Christmas spirit. I've certainly felt the same way. Have you?

With red & green decorations sparkling everywhere, radio stations blasting Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer since Halloween, holiday parties, company parties that can't be called "Christmas" or "party", etc. how could Pat not be in the Christmas spirit already?

Maybe because those things don't really help? Speaking for myself, but doubting I'm alone, the radio stations' competition to be the first to play Christmas music is more annoying than cheerful. The stores pushing Christmas up further every year screams desperation louder than celebration. The horror stories about company holiday events are more nightmare-like than dreamy.

I am not alone, right?

Instead of recommending to my church-going, family-loving friend that he put on some holiday music, buy his presents, and just snap out of it, the list below was shared. It includes a few ideas from me, along with some from others. I share it here, just in case anyone else is searching for the spirit of the season and hasn't found it yet.

1. Write a list of things you are grateful for in 2009, and the people who helped make them happen. Ponder your list every day.
2. Think of how you can honor the people on your list best for the next two weeks. Honor, not meaning gifts. And, the people could be in heaven.
3. Think of how you can make others feel extra special for 2 weeks and don't think about being in the Christmas spirit. Focus on others instead of the holiday.
4. Volunteer at a church, shelter, or food bank. You could even hold your own food drive for a food bank, toy drive for the Marines, or clothing drive for a shelter. And, go there to help sort and store the items.
5. Shovel a neighbor's driveway.
6. Stay within your budget. Anticipating credit card debt can ruin the holidays and the first few months of the new year. Set a budget and stay within that amount.
7. Be Secret Santa by giving a $10 gift card away at the gas station, grocery store, or church.
8. Adopt a family through your church or a shelter. Opportunities for this are plentiful right now.
9. Start a new family tradition.
10. Play with your kids' toys as if they are the greatest things in the whole world.
11. Play with your kids as if they are the greatest things in the whole world.
12. Go to church and really pay attention. No daydreams, no checking for friends in the crowd, no playing around. Really listen and ponder it all--whatever church it may be.
13. Sing Christmas music as boisterously as possible! Belt out the songs at church! Blast the radio and belt out your best Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer ever!

If you do all the items on the list, you could Simply Have a Wonderful Christmastime!

Who knows, while conjuring up the Christmas spirit for yourself, you're likely to do the same for those around you. And, that is the true spirit of the season.