Now, that takes guts! And, muscle, hands, and heart too!

When a building is on fire, is your natural tendency to run away from it or toward it? If you were inside it, would you run out as fast as you could or would you run back in the burning building to save a coworker?

Think about your coworkers...

Would you risk your life to save them? Any one of them? Would any of them risk their lives to save you?

Well, risk his life is what Jim Baker did.

Jim is a Kansas City firefighter who was on the scene of a smoke-filled building two months ago today. He was inside, along with his captain and others, when evacuation orders were shouted from those outside. As firefighters from seven companies made their way outside, Jim noticed his captain was not among them. Jim ran back inside the smoke-filled, pitch-black building to find his captain.

Captain Joiner's airpack got snagged on something, and he was stuck. As fire was nearing him, Captain Joiner radioed for help and saw Jim Baker coming toward him. A very strong Jim Baker freed Captain Joiner and got him close enough to the exit for others to help him out of the building.

Jim risked his own life to saved another. Jim saved his captain's life that day.

Both men suffered burns but are recovering, with more healing to come.

The guts of a firefighter are unfathomable to me. But, I recognize when someone uses their muscles, hands, brains, and heart in a gut-filled manner. Saving a life: now that takes guts!

I don't know Captain Joiner, but I do know Jim Baker. I've known him his whole life, and, honestly, his behavior that day is not shocking. No one I've spoken to about this has said, "Really? Jimmy Baker did that? No way!" Most people just nod their heads and say something about what a good person Jim has always been. They are right. His family is one of my all-time favorites. I love his family and am glad to write about Jim as today's Gut Check role model.

Would I be like Jim and run in to a building to save a life? I don't know. But, I am going to work on making the trip worth it in case someone else is faced with that decision about my life.



(http://www.nbcactionnews.com/news/local/story/Firefighters-Recovering-from-Burns/TL4jbeDBI0ajo24MsaPEJw.cspx)

Conjuring up the Christmas Spirit

A dear friend recently asked for a little help conjuring up the Christmas spirit. You should know Pat has a family he loves, a good job he likes most of the time, and a positive outlook on life. He's not down-and-out or self-centered or a Scrooge of any kind. Pat is a great guy doing the best he can to make the world a better place every day.

His question made me wonder if many other similar non-Scrooge-like people struggle to find the Christmas spirit. I've certainly felt the same way. Have you?

With red & green decorations sparkling everywhere, radio stations blasting Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer since Halloween, holiday parties, company parties that can't be called "Christmas" or "party", etc. how could Pat not be in the Christmas spirit already?

Maybe because those things don't really help? Speaking for myself, but doubting I'm alone, the radio stations' competition to be the first to play Christmas music is more annoying than cheerful. The stores pushing Christmas up further every year screams desperation louder than celebration. The horror stories about company holiday events are more nightmare-like than dreamy.

I am not alone, right?

Instead of recommending to my church-going, family-loving friend that he put on some holiday music, buy his presents, and just snap out of it, the list below was shared. It includes a few ideas from me, along with some from others. I share it here, just in case anyone else is searching for the spirit of the season and hasn't found it yet.

1. Write a list of things you are grateful for in 2009, and the people who helped make them happen. Ponder your list every day.
2. Think of how you can honor the people on your list best for the next two weeks. Honor, not meaning gifts. And, the people could be in heaven.
3. Think of how you can make others feel extra special for 2 weeks and don't think about being in the Christmas spirit. Focus on others instead of the holiday.
4. Volunteer at a church, shelter, or food bank. You could even hold your own food drive for a food bank, toy drive for the Marines, or clothing drive for a shelter. And, go there to help sort and store the items.
5. Shovel a neighbor's driveway.
6. Stay within your budget. Anticipating credit card debt can ruin the holidays and the first few months of the new year. Set a budget and stay within that amount.
7. Be Secret Santa by giving a $10 gift card away at the gas station, grocery store, or church.
8. Adopt a family through your church or a shelter. Opportunities for this are plentiful right now.
9. Start a new family tradition.
10. Play with your kids' toys as if they are the greatest things in the whole world.
11. Play with your kids as if they are the greatest things in the whole world.
12. Go to church and really pay attention. No daydreams, no checking for friends in the crowd, no playing around. Really listen and ponder it all--whatever church it may be.
13. Sing Christmas music as boisterously as possible! Belt out the songs at church! Blast the radio and belt out your best Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer ever!

If you do all the items on the list, you could Simply Have a Wonderful Christmastime!

Who knows, while conjuring up the Christmas spirit for yourself, you're likely to do the same for those around you. And, that is the true spirit of the season.

It's Bring Your Brain to Work Day!

Too many managers these days are micro-managing the engagement right out of their people.

Some managers believe they need to micro-manage the minutia in the midst of financial struggles. Some have resorted to having every decision go through them, which is highly stressful and lowly productive. Some managers are sending the signal that employees should keep their noses to the grindstone, not ask questions, and do only what they are told to do.

You've probably dealt with employees who have managers like that lately. You can tell because it is like dealing with someone who did not bring their brain to work. They cannot think beyond what a training manual advises. They cannot make any exceptions to the rule. They might even say something like, "That's not my job. You'll have to talk with someone else."

When managers clamp down, employees get the signal that their ideas are not necessary. While some employees may enjoy coasting in their jobs for a short time, most will resent being treated like monkeys (as in "any monkey can do this job") and will clam up. They will not take initiative for process improvement, customer solutions, revenue generation, or cost savings.

Clammed-up employees leave their brains at home because their managers clamped down and are doing all the thinking for them.

This month's Harvard Business Review has an article about this very topic called "To Be a Leader, Give Up Authority". The authors share research which "provides hard evidence that leaders who give in to the urge to clamp down can end up doing their companies a serious disservice."

The HBR article goes on to stress that leaders are not micro-managers. Leadership is about building responsibility for the business throughout the organization. To build such responsibility, employees need to bring their brains to work. The organizations which will succeed beyond this current economy are those who inspire creativity and innovative thinking. Brains are needed for that!

Be careful: if you send the signal to employees that their brains are not needed at work these days, they just might leave them at home. Send the signal, instead, that this is Bring Your Brain to Work Day and you will inspire the type of thinking and behavior that will lead to success.

Integrity and Generosity in the Heartland

Don worked as a dairy farmer for 20 years, and has spent the last 20 years working at a pigment plant in Indiana. He's worked hard, and, with his wife, Don paid his debts, saved money, raised three great children, and was six months away from retirement last Thursday.

Paul works at the same plant. He's 32, with three small children and a wife who works as a waitress. Paul has been at the plant three years; he's been promoted and demoted (because of shift changes, not performance); he's been doing the dirtiest job in the plant. Paul fills and loads 50-pound bags of iron oxide powder, which is orange and has the consistency of baby powder; so, he literally works the dirtiest job at the plant. Through all the changes, Paul built a reputation as a hard worker who never complained.

More changes were announced Thursday.

Ten employees had to be laid off Thursday, and Paul was one of them. Don, whose tenure and position put him closer to the top of the food chain than the bottom, was not on the list of those sent home. But, he was concerned for those who were laid off, especially Paul. Don could not sleep for thinking about the hard-working man who took as much overtime as possible to take care of his young family without a complaint.

Paul did not complain about the layoff. He did not burn bridges on his way out the door Thursday.

In fact, Paul came to work Friday's shift.

You see, there was no one left to load the bags of orange powder. Paul came in because he knew the job needed to get done or the powder would be wasted. Of course, the company paid him for the day, but many people would have been too bitter, angry, or upset to come in. The nine others did not come in, and some of them held the same position Paul held.

Thursday, Paul went home to tell his wife he had been laid off. Jobs are tough to come by in Indiana these days, so imagine how difficult that conversation was.

Don went home from work Thursday and spoke with his wife too.

Both men came to work Friday with plans.

Paul's plan was to work the shift so the company would not lose its product. Don's plan was a little different.

Don called Paul into his office around noon to tell Paul about the conversation he had with his own wife the night before.

Don told Paul that he volunteered for the layoff, so Paul could keep his job.

Six months before retirement, Don voluntarily left his job so Paul could keep his.

Paul wept upon learning he could keep his job, and through his tears expressed his gratitude. Paul looked Don straight in the eyes, shook his hand, and thanked him.

When Don was asked why he did such a thing, Don said he knew what it was like to be in that situation with a young family.

"I'd been there and never wanted to let another man feel like I had if I could help it."

Don could help it.

Upon hearing this story, Don's son, Greg, said he hopes to be half the man his father is. Greg is very proud of his father, and it's a safe bet Paul's family is proud of him too. If we could all be "half the man" Don is, and "half the man" Paul is, the integrity and generosity could spread from the heartland the way ripples from a pebble spread in the ocean.

When "Work Friends" Become "Real Friends"

When my career began, Emotional Intelligence was taboo. Actually, EQ had barely been invented and definitely was never talked about in management circles of corporations I worked in and with. In fact, an early mentor advised me to hide all emotions and live by the mantra: Die before cry!

I was lucky to have mentors early on and knew it. They became people to lean on when I was confused, curious, frustrated, or anxious--you know, emotional. People didn't show emotions at work back then, which also meant pretty shallow work relationships were the norm. If you had one or two "work friends," you were lucky. They were always called "work friends" and rarely were invited to intermingle with "real life friends."

Today's workplaces are different.

Today, EQ is emphasized all over the place! It's emphasized for leaders and managers, sales people, customer service associates--we're all encouraged to form relationships, genuine ones, with business associates now. It is clear now how employees benefit personally and how organizations benefit financially when EQ is high, so people are more open with "work friends" than in the past.

One of the best examples of such openness happened just this week.

One of my "work friends" is going through a tough time financially right now--heck, these days, she's hardly unique, right? While she's experienced the turbulent flow of emotions, she's doing pretty well in that regard now. What struck me in a recent coffee chat with her was not how open she was sharing her emotions with me, it was how open she was sharing them with several "work friends." She mentioned sharing her situation with ten or so others in the same committee we are on, and she described how generous each had been.

They were generous in ways not measured financially.

It would be too personal to divulge in this forum, but as she shared examples of the simple kindness shown by so many people, tears welled up in her eyes. And in mine.

I was stunned by so many "work friends" giving so compassionately of themselves, and not one had discussed it in the committee. Not one spoke even one word of her situation in a gossipy, derogatory manner. Many on the committee gave of themselves in a deeply personal, selfless, and loving way which never would have happened twenty years ago.

You see, when the organization is highly Emotionally Intelligent, as the committee we share is, genuine relationships really do form. When "work friends" become "real friends," magic happens.

Now That Takes Guts!

With a beaming smile on her face, Dana Maguire crossed the finish line of Kansas City's recent marathon in 1,560th place. There were 1,560 entrants. She was last.

As a friend told her, “Dead-last finish is better than did not finish, which greatly trumps did not start.”

What were you doing October 17, 2009 from 7am until 2pm? Dana may have been dead last, but others did not finish, and another 1.5 million Kansas Citians did not start.

Dana clocked in at 6 hours, 59 minutes and 14 seconds. She told a Kansas City Star reporter that during the race she doubted herself and cried but never considered quitting. She knew early on that she would be last, but she knew she could do it.

Dana found out what she's made of during the marathon. And, she has guts! For her beaming smile, perseverance, and ability to stare quitting in the face and not do it, Dana is this week's worthwhile Gut Check! Way to go, Dana!

(For the story in the Kansas City Star: http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/story/1524835.html)

Now That Takes Guts!

Sometimes having guts is stupid and gets unwanted attention, as it has this week for a USC football player.

The player is using finger gestures he wouldn't use to greet his grandma as fans from the opposing team take pictures before the game. The same player gave the same gestures throughout the game to the student section of the opposing fans. A teammate last year make a grossly offensive gesture behind a female sports reporter. A few years ago, a player from the same team was arrested for battery.

It takes guts to behave that way. It takes guts to allow a team culture in which such behavior happens often. Often. Not infrequently. Often.

The photo made its way around the internet, and since it did, the team's coach had to address the issue. The player said he learned his lesson after the coach spoke to the team:

"Just don't be stupid anymore," he said. "Everyone's always watching and
one little thing can be blown up." (SOURCE: Los Angeles Times)

One little thing?! Clearly, he missed the point. Or, perhaps the right point was not delivered by the coach in the first place.

When a USC band member spewed obscenities at an opposing player during the game, the band director admonished the band member directly and immediately. Meanwhile, the team's head coach seemed annoyed that his player got caught. Maybe he does not get the point either.

Is the point that one should not behave that way or that it is okay if you do not get caught? It takes guts to foster a culture in which the behavior is tolerated, perhaps even celebrated.

Some day that team is going to get caught for the culture it lives by. It will be interesting to see what they are made of when that happens.

Now That Takes Guts!

Would you be able to complete a cross-country journey, starting at the Santa Monica Harbor and ending in New York City, in one week with just a backpack and $50?

Dave Price, of CBS's Early Show, did just that. There were strict parameters put on the trip including, he had to work for every penny earned. It was the ultimate reality of reality television.

His journey ended this morning, and he was on time. Now, that took guts!

What struck me most about Prices' journey, however, was his on-air update yesterday. He introduced America to a woman who was down on her luck, to say the least, and shared part of the journey with him. Price cried unapologetically on-air while talking about the woman and his journey. When his co-hosts commented about the tears, Price spoke of the journey meaning more to him than he expected. He spoke of the kindness of strangers.

Price returned to New York City this morning with about an hour to spare.

Dave said, "This was a strange, unintended gift, and it's not like I didn't appreciate America before. ... It's really a privilege to stop (and meet) all those people who make up the country." The challenge ultimately turned into "a week of personal growth" for Price. "It was a pleasure to do; it was a joy," he said. "Would I do it again? In a second." (SOURCE: www.cbsnews.com)

You may not take the same risk, but what could you risk in the hope of finding the reward Dave found? Dave Price took a chance. And, it took guts! He says he would do it again. Now, that really takes guts!

(Link to the story on CBSNews.com: http://bit.ly/jmFFU)

Lack of Success Formula: Gigantic Egos + Outdated Tactics = Losers

"It’s no secret in Kansas City or across the league. The No. 1 character trait/flaw driving the Chiefs organization right now is ego." Jason Whitlock, sports columnist for the Kansas City Star, reports about the Chief's GM (Scott Pioli) and coach (Todd Haley).

Whitlock has been harping on the egos of the Chiefs leaders for years, but this week, he was backed up by one of the key players on the team: Larry Johnson. When asked why the team lost its fourth game of the year, out of four played, Johnson's one-word reply was, "Ego."

As an expert and student of leadership, it is easy to see Pioli and Haley's egos are out of control. Three key factors come to mind:

First, Pioli and Haley are using tactics learned from previous bosses, Belichick and Parcells, who are known for intimidation, fear, and egos. Unfortunately for Pioli and Haley, football coaching is not a cookie-cutter job. The exact personality, ego, hoodie, and tactics of one man will not work for a different man. What works for one will not work for all.

Second, the difference between Pioli/Haley and Belichick/Parcells is that the two championship-winning coaches became fear mongers AFTER winning games, after success. They were not like that climbing up the coaching tree. Pioli and Haley have won nothing. Not one game. They are losers. They have not earned the right to have gigantic egos.

Third, Belichick and Parcells learned coaching methods which built their reputations thirty years ago. Since they have won championships, their tactics are tolerated by today's young players. Players are different today than thirty years ago, however, and unless you can back up your tactics with championships, you better adapt to what works for today's players. As with other leaders, the leaders of the Chiefs need to recognize and adapt to the differences in generations. Pioli and Haley need to earn their stripes with today's players, and the outdated management tactics of the 70s will not work with them.

Outdated tactics will not motivate or unify a team today. Until Pioli and Haley face the fact that they are not Belichick and Parcells...until they get their egos under control...until they earn respect of today's players...until they prove their tactics work by winning a game--even one!...the Chiefs will continue their permanent residence in the cellar of football.

Perhaps residing NFL rankings cellar will be the ego check needed to bring a formula for success to the Chiefs organization.


(Lest anyone think I see Jason Whitlock as the consummate emotionally intelligent professional, know that I know his ego is gigantic. Probably bigger than anyone else mentioned in the blog, but , he's not leading a team or inspiring people. He works on his own as a columnist. And, he knows his ego is gigantic. For Jason Whitlock's column in the Kansas City Star: http://bit.ly/nnWEz)

Now That Takes Guts!

Be aware Kansas City: 350 advertising agency folks will be loose on the streets tomorrow!

Actually, they'll be busy helping three local nonprofits: Harvestors, the Don Bosco Centers, the Front Porch Alliance.

It's VML's annual Foundation Day, so they will close their doors and give all of the employees the day to help in the community. VML is a full-service digital marketing agency. As you may know, the agency industry has felt the brunt of low consumer confidence lately. Closing its doors for a day takes guts.

Kudos to VML and its clients for keeping up a tradition, especially in the midst of the recession when help is desperately needed.

Closing shop for a day to contribute to the community: now that takes guts!

(For more about VML: http://www.vml.com/)
(Link to KC Star newspaper article about VML's volunteer day: http://bit.ly/4mZDMm)

Performance & Soccer Trophies

Are you from when the score was kept at games between teams of 8th graders? And, only one person on the team was awarded the Player of the Year?

Or, was high school the first time you saw a score board? Is there a shelf at your mom's house full of trophies given out to everyone on the team?

I worked with someone from the second group recently. While his age was not particularly obvious, his attitude about performance sure was.

I asked the small group of future leaders from different companies if they would win the Employee of the Year award. Much to my surprise, here is how the conversation turned:

Me: Would your performance this year earn you the Employee of the Year award?

Stewie (not his real name): We don't have an Employee of the Year award.

Me: Would your performance earn it if you did?

Stewie: But we don't, so why would I work as if we did?

The urge to remind him to wear his hairnet to work at his future job was resisted.

The rest of the group was just as astounded as I was, so this is not a generalization about an entire generation of workers.

It is a general warning about those who expect trophies just for showing up. If those people are vital to the organization, even when performance is average, identify what recognition works for them and do it. If trophies work, give trophies. If those employees are less essential, know you could have 50 resumes of highly qualified, eager, people on your desk in minutes.

If you're from when trophies were given out just for showing up, think about how that affects your performance today. Think also about it affects your reputation and how you are positioned for your future.

If you're from when trophies were earned, realize expectations are different these days. You might want to stock up on trophies.

Leaders Build Bridges not Barriers

One of my first managers was very well liked by those who reported to him. To get his team to like him, Charlie had them over for summer picnics, let them leave early now and then, and formed a tightly knit clique. He made sure they had the latest equipment and information. People who reported to Charlie revered him like he was a super hero.

If you were in his clique, you were golden. If not, you were treated as a second-class citizen by Charlie and his team. I know that because I joined his team after being on a different one for four years, and the treatment changed immediately. Suddenly, I was welcomed to the fold by Charlie. It took a little longer for the rest of the team, but the treatment definitely improved.

While I came to like Charlie, even to respect him and hold him in high esteem, it was clear that he was not a good leader.

The clique he formed served as a bridge for his own team but a barrier to others.

When there are barriers, people are not compelled to offer revenue-generating ideas, cost-saving efficiencies, or problem solving tactics.

Ideas and innovation, whether they are for new products, services, benefits, or processes, make the difference between survival and demise of organizations today.

Leaders work to generate ideas. They know they must build bridges between teams, clients, suppliers, and divisions to inspire innovation. They know internal bridges give them an advantage over tight competition more than barriers do.

While it may seem like a good idea to hunker down, now is the time to reach out. Identify 3 bridges you could build or repair, then reach out. You may be surprised at how eager others are to rely on the bridges you build.

The Power of Trust & 5 Ways to Build It

Trust between employees and management, and among both groups, is a critical element in organization survival and success today.

Trust is not a line item on a P&L, but the level of trust between two people, or people and organizations, shows the quality of the relationship. The quality of the relationship indicates whether the relationship will overcome challenges. Organizations today are facing the biggest challenges of the last 25 years (much more for many); therefore, they need solid relationships to thrive. Solid relationships are built on trust.

While trust is tough to measure in terms of dollars, lack of trust is expensive.

What does it cost your organization when a high caliber employee goes to a competitor? What does it cost when production is slowed by merely 5%? By 25%? What does it cost when disengaged employees work there, negatively impact morale among coworkers, or actively sabotage your company? What does it cost to replace good people who leave because poor performers are not held accountable? A culture of distrust is an expensive problem.

On the other hand, a culture of trust can be profitable. Jason Grove, Vice President of Operations for Dimensional Innovations (www.dimin.com), points out that trust is critical, but business success is based on making money. Mr. Grove says, “If you trust good people to do their jobs, they’ll do them. This is the way we do business, and it works.”

Unfortunately, the turbulent economic conditions facing many businesses today diminish the trust level within them. Several recent studies have shown up to 60% of employees do not trust their senior leaders to get their organizations back on track. Over the years, psychological studies consistently discuss trust as something which is built, rather than innate; therefore, management can do something about it.

Management can build a culture of trust using the following strategies:
1. Instill a compelling Vision. Herb Kelleher, co-founder of Southwest Airlines, distinguished his company by unifying everyone around the Vision of freedom. They are selling freedom “to move about the country” and their employees work toward that Vision. What is the greater purpose for your organization? If you cannot recite it immediately, you can bet your bottom dollar no one else there can either. Without it, people resort to their personal reasons for working there, which may not be synchronized with each other.

2. Get the right people in the right jobs. Jim Collins described it in Good to Great as getting the right people on the bus in the right seats. Leaders need to make decisions about people and hold them accountable for their performance to ensure the right ones work there.

3. Be open and honest about the facts. Face the truth about where you are and where you’re heading, and let your people know. It is common during a crisis for leaders to bury themselves in work and try to figure it out on their own, but that is precisely the wrong course to take. Employees want to know the truth, and they can handle it.

4. Make tough decisions. Leaders need to make decisions without being wishy-washy. Build trust among employees by doing what is right, even if it is hard. Do not be afraid to be a leader when faced with hard decisions.

5. Recognize success. Acknowledge accomplishments and thank employees for them. Give positive feedback when goals are met. Set reasonable goals which can be met in today’s circumstances.

Leaders should use the five strategies described here to build a culture of trust during this economic crisis and continue fostering the culture as the crisis subsides. If you build a relationship of trust with employees, they will perform their best for you and the company. The relationship is priceless and powerful.

Copyright © 2009 Kelly A. Tyler

A Head Buried in the Sand Gives a Bad View

It's been a while since I posted here. Summer hours took effect with nieces and nephews' freedom from school. Plus, I was getting ready for another semester teaching a class at a local business school. Plus, clients--new, potential, and long-term--kept me busy (yay!). Plus, friends and family were in town a lot. Plus, it was so hot...

See a familiar pattern there?

Step 1: Identify the problem or weakness.

Step 2: Identify excuses for it.

Step 3?

Keep my head buried in the sand and ignore the issue? I don't like this option because the issue keeps flaring up in the back of my mind, even while my head is buried in the sand. That's got to feel familiar to some readers.

Another choice is to get my head out of the sand to face the facts. Now, I'm talking about my performance as a blogger, but the same pattern of behavior exists for many business-altering issues. Leaders bury their heads in the sand rather than face the facts of their performance.

When one's head is buried in the sand, you know what those around can see, right? Yes, the site is not pretty and does not inspire change, innovation, confidence, or productivity. Whatever issue is flaring up in the back of your mind, face it today and improve the view.

With that in mind, I faced the issue of my poor blogging performance today by getting its score and ranking. My blog score is 47. Out of 100. That's an F! (Don't tell my dad and mom I flunked a grade.)

My blog ranking is 2,505 out of 9,388, is written at the 10th-grade level, and has 18 inbound links.

Ah! There's hope! It's not ranked 9,388! In fact, the number of inbound links indicates someone is reading this--or wishes they could have something to read.

Facing the facts--after all, a blog that has not been updated in more than two months should not expect much higher than a 47--was a little scary and painful. Even with reasonable expectations, I didn't like seeing that 47.

But, at least I can fix it now.

The joy of getting out from under the sand is changing the view for myself and those around me. I will do better and will keep you posted of the score improvement.

If you're stuck with your head buried in the sand, pop up and take a peak. The view is much better from above the sand for all involved.

You can be just like Mario Lemieux

Do you own an NHL team? Have you won an Olympic gold medal or three MVP awards? Have you played on two Stanley Cup championship teams?

Unless Mario Lemieux reads this blog, it's pretty safe to say the answers to the above questions are, "No."

You may not have medals, trophies, and Stanley Cups, but there is something very important you could have in common with Mario Lemieux. There is one thing he did this week, which you could do and do just as well.

He inspired his team.

By the time two teams are playing in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup series, as the Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wings were last Friday, it is clear both teams are skilled and talented. The difference between first and second place at that level is rarely skill, but more likely mental edge. Some might say "heart". Others say "desire," as if one team wanted the championship more than the other. Whatever you call it, Mario Lemieux inspired it in his team, the Penguins.

On Friday morning, each Penguins player awoke to find this on their cell phone:

This is a chance of a lifetime to realize your childhood dream to win a Stanley Cup. Play without fear and you will be successful! See you at center ice.

It was a text message from team owner, Mario Lemieux.

It was the right message at the right time. Mario's Penguins won the Stanley Cup that night, and he met them at center ice for the celebration.

You can do the same exact thing Mario did.

Inspire your team with the right message. Let them hear from you. Let them know you are behind them and believe in them.

Some leaders will think the idea is too fluffy and superficial. I say, if it's good enough for a hockey player (they aren't known for being sissies, after all), it's good enough for any leader. Your team wants to hear from you, especially during tough times.

If you want your team to step up, then you should too. Be like Lemieux in this regard: step up and inspire your team. Now.

What makes someone worth it?

The professional-level employee:

• Easily distracted
• Lacks professionalism (attire, manners)
• Lacks verbal skills
• Openly speaks of other, better jobs out there
• Surfs the web for 20 minutes at a time
• Average performer

Question #1: If you were the manager of the employee described above, would you keep him? In today's economy, when organizations are struggling to make revenue goals to keep people employed, how far would you go for the employee described?

Isn't there a line to draw somewhere? Isn't it acceptable to release that employee to find that "other, better job" and replace him with one of the highly skilled laid off people who would love to work there?

Unless the employee brings something valuable to the business, such as his family business is their largest client or he is friends with Jack Nicholson who will give you court-side seats to the Lakers-Orlando series, it may be time to let the employee go.

Managers today do not have time to mentor, much less to babysit someone who makes the company look bad to clients, negatively affects morale, barely meets deadlines, and submits substandard work. As nice as the employee may be, there is no time for managers to waste on people who are not worth it. Someone who does not want to be there, and behaves like it, is not worth it.

Question #2: If you are the employee described above, how long will you continue the behavior and expect to remain employed?

This is the time to bring your A game to work every day. This is not the time to slack off on the Internet, complain about petty things, demand raises for size of workload (hint: it's not the quantity which usually earns raises!), pick fights with coworkers, or tell a client your boss can't come to the phone because he is in the loo (a real example, but I cleaned up the wording).

I've posted about it before, but take note, this is the time many employers are trading up. They are letting sub-standard performers go and replacing them with people who will bring their A game to work daily. Employers are finding superstars among the unemployed, so unless you perform at a superstar level, your job could be in jeopardy. Don't risk it by being unprofessional.

Bring your A game and show them you are worth it every day.

Branding: It's all in the details

The buzz about branding is everywhere from corporations to job seekers. Branding is about the customer-, or interviewer-, experience at every level of communication with the brand. Organizations obsessed with branding stand out, as shown by two different companies over the last week.

Last week, I spoke at a conference held at a hotel. The first day, I pulled into the parking lot and noticed an empty soft drink bottle discarded in the spot. It was there the second day, and the third too. It wasn't in my way and was no big deal, but it stood out that the hotel did not clean its parking garage.

How often should a hotel clean its garage? What is the standard of excellence for that? I don't know, but as part of their brand, it stood out that they do not clean it daily.

One of the reasons it stood out to me is because of a different experience elsewhere.

The same week, I was eating in a window booth at Burger King. The window was on the drive-thru side of the restaurant. A uniformed BK employee was crouched on the ground in the drive-thru lane. I worried she would get run over by a hungry driver, but she moved when she heard the car coming. After the car took its food, she went back to the lane and bent down again.

This time, I could see what she was doing. She was scraping gum off the drive-thru lane. She was using a putty-knife-looking-tool to scrape gum! I couldn't believe it!

Burger King cares enough about their brand, and their customer experience, to ask an employee to scrap gum! Frankly, it made me think they must pay close attention to their food too.

Branding is essential because every experience impacts trust. Every time your customers interact with your organization, trust is affected for better or worse. Build bridges to your customers by paying attention to the details, or risk burning bridges. Both depend on the details.

If this lady snags clients, I'm changing strategies!

I just posted about foreign spammers when the email below came through to my in-box. It was not caught by spam filters, which could prompt people to think it is legitimate. Truly, though, how could anyone think this is legitimate? If this woman gets someone to help her, them I just might alter my marketing strategies!

Here's the email, exactly as it was sent to me:

Beloved One,
Please i am very sorry for the inconveniences and embarrassments this may cause you. My name is Miss Linda Yarah, 20 years and single from Abidjan , Cote d'Ivoire in West Africa. The only surviving daughter Of Mr Williams Yarah who dealed on Gold and diamonds during his days Before he was shot my an assassins hired by his brother on his business Trip to Ethiopia on the 20th of August 2008. My mother and my only brother happened to be a victim in the incident while I was schooling In France . I read Mechanical Engineering in school and will send you my BIODATA and Pictures.Honestly, I am in serious agony and pains since the death of my parents. Meanwhile a week before the incident took place, we had a family meeting and my late father informed us that he deposited the sum of USD$8.500.000.00 (Eight Million, five hundred thousand US dollars) in one of the Invesments banks in our country.Now I want you to help me provide an account where this money will be transferred into for an investment in your country. I will offer you 50% of the total amount for helping me and use the other 50% for an investment in your country after my Education. I will give you the contact of the bank director who will give you more information and directives on how you will receive the money in your account. I have discussed with him on my plans to transfer the money into your account and he supported the idea so that my wicked uncle will not locate me and kill me. Waiting to hear from you quickly with your telephone number where I can call you for more details.
Thanks Miss Linda Yarah.

While I'm tempted to say, "Whoever falls for that gets what they deserve!" sympathy for the feelings they will have upon realizing the truth are more prevalent.

I would hate it if my clients felts betrayed, scammed, or disappointed by my services. Yet, some sales reps employ similar tactics and have a similar lack of concern for others as Miss Linda's author. If that spammer gets clients, I won't really alter my strategies. After all, I rely on clients for positive word-of-mouth and repeat business. I want to see people I contact again.

Sales People are like Spammers

The recent return of foreign spammers filling up the spam folder annoyed me at first.

Then, it made me scoff at their ridiculous techniques. Do they really think sending emails in a foreign language to Americans is going to get us to buy things? Do they really thing random emails, without knowing anything about the potential buyer, will generate sales? Do they really think using fake names and being phony elicits business? Ha, I scoffed!

Then, the foreign spammers whom I scoffed at made me think about sales people who essentially employ the same tactics:

Sales people constantly use words potential buyers do not understand. They blast into their sales process discussing the ins and outs of their products without realizing the customer does not know the rep's internal terms. They don't even realize they lost the customer and now her questions are just polite, not interest.

Sales people randomly target customers. They send out a thousand mailers with generic information hoping to appeal to someone. They make cold calls without knowing anything at all about the person on the other end of the line. With the internet, it would only take a minute or two to appear a million times more credible, but many sales people do not bother. They'll just move on to the next person and hope someone pays attention to them. Here's a tip: pay attention to the prospect if you want her to pay attention to you.

Sales people's phoniness gives the industry a bad name. There are some good sales people out there, but the fake ones ruin it for everyone. Feigning interest in someone only until they buy or don't buy can come back to haunt a sales person. If the prospect buys, the reps often lose interest as the customer is turned over to someone else. If the prospect does not buy, the rep loses interest and won't even fake it the next time they happen to meet. Little do they know, but reps who behave in such a phony manner cost themselves business.

I learned a lesson when deleting the 47 foreign spam messages today: do not be like them!

The Worst on the Team

Back in college, I was on the varsity Track and Field team. The school, St. Mary's College (Notre Dame, IN), is a small all-girls Division III school which competes with other small schools in the Midwest.

During my time on the team, there was one athlete who attended every practice, competed in several events, and always had a positive attitude. She was not very good but made many friends on the team. She even became friends with athletes from other schools we competed against at meets.

Other athletes liked her because she was no threat to them. The best she ever did was earning a 4th Place ribbon in the shot put. There were five competitors, one had a sprained wrist that day.

Other athletes liked her so much, they frequently gave her advice, so she could improve. She'd absorb the advice, and was often given extra tries because people liked to see her improvements themselves. Even the judges liked her spirit and attitude.

The athlete knew she was not good at the events. She was not embarrassing, just not at the performance level of college athletics. She knew it, and she did them anyway.

She did not mind being the worst on the team because she knew she had different talents.

She went on the graduate from St. Mary's, earn an MBA, become one of the youngest senior marketing analysts in town and the youngest speaker hired by the AMA. She implemented a cutting-edge training plan in the advertising industry and produced record-setting and award-winning results with her clients.

I am that athlete.

I was the worst one on the team.

Shot, discus, javelin, and long jump are not my gifts. Luckily, I knew I had other gifts.

Young people today often are not given the opportunity to figure out their gifts. With all the rules of everyone makes the team, plays the same amount of time, gets the same trophy, young people today do not learn that it is okay to be bad at something. It is okay for someone else to win, get a better trophy, celebrate victory.

In shielding kids from being the worst, parents, coaches, schools today are also preventing them from finding out what they are the best at. In over-protecting their kids from the brief moment of disappointment which comes when being cut from a team, parents are preventing their kids from knowing the feeling of triumph.

Triumph over adversity is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I hope all kids get to experience it, so they can also experience the joy and pride of knowing they have a different gift.

Allow others to triumph. It will work out okay for them if they are the worst on the team. Take it from someone who knows.

She's not just a Pretty Face

You recognize Susan Boyle, from Britain's Got Talent, right? Her first performance on the show April 11, 2009 propelled the singer to worldwide stardom, and the video of the performance is the most watched video in You Tube history.

When watching the video from start to finish, one can take away a few lessons from Susan's experience.

The most obvious lesson in Susan's experience on the show is, of course, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Susan does not look like a superstar with a powerful voice. She looked fine for a woman in a tiny village in Scotland, but she did not look like a star. In fact, the audience laughed at her when she came on stage, and the judges sneered when she said she wanted a career like Elaine Page's. A minute later, the audience and judges were laughing at themselves and knew she had taught them a lesson about judging others.

In spite of how she was greeted upon entering the stage, Susan Boyle remained confident in herself. She may have been a little nervous in the spotlight, but clearly she retained her self-confidence. A second lesson for us all: Don't let someone else, even millions of them, break your spirit. You have a special gift, just as Susan does. When you know what it is, do not let anyone else steal it from you or diminish it in your own eyes. Susan was able to share her talent because she knew she had it inside. Do the same.

One of the most powerful lessons of this experience came during the judges' comments.

Cameras show the three judges smiling and happy for Susan throughout her performance. The first judge gushed all over the place when it was his turn to comment. It was the second judge, Amanda Holden, who had the most startling comment of all and taught the most important lesson of the performance.

Amanda spoke about the crowd being against Susan at first but being privileged to hear the performance. She said, "It was a privilege to listen to you." Wow, there's a lesson for us!

What if we all felt privileged to share each other's strengths? What if we all look beyond our initial judgements of others and look for their gifts instead? What if we all seek goodness in others? What would happen to our relationships? workplaces? homes? schools? country?

See beyond the outside, the obvious first lesson Susan taught us, but not just to tolerate others but to feel privileged to know them. That lesson is more challenging yet also more life-altering.

Susan Boyle is not just a pretty face, and neither is Amanda Holden. Both taught the world important lessons. Let's not miss them.

Ashton Won!

In the war between one man and the "establishment," Ashton Kutcher became the first twitter user to reach one million followers.

To the surprise of many, the real purpose of this competition extended beyond the ego of a movie star. It's about having a voice in the media. We create it and report it, and as Ashton said, "We can change media forever!"

About 8 hours ago, CNN used its television anchors and tickers to encourage people to follow it over Ashton. Ashton used the internet. It came down to the wire. And, Ashton won.

In the meantime, I lost 2 followers.

Ashton Kutcher v. CNN v. Kelly Tyler

Within the next few hours, movie star and producer Ashton Kutcher or CNN will become the first tweeter to reach 1,000,000 followers. As of this moment, I have 119 followers. Okay, so I'm not really in the competition with the big boys of twitter.

It's been only a month since I joined the tweople on twitter. "Tweople," that's what they call "people" over there. Here's what I've learned so far, just in case it would help those thinking of joining:

1. There's a whole new abbreviated language to learn. Luckily, my teenage niece and nephew have taught me a few things through their texts, but there's more to learn on twitter.


2. The ability to write complete thoughts in 140 characters is not possible for everyone but is a wonderful talent to master.


3. There are a gazillion SEO marketers out there, and they will follow you, hoping you follow them too. They measure value in terms of # of followers.


4. Don't pat yourself on the back too quickly when people follow you. Some are doing so only to sell you something, shocking as it is.
   
5. If you do not follow everyone who follows you, some of them will stop following you. Don't let that hurt your feelings.


6. You can find anything on twitter--newscasters, comics, coffee enthusiasts, chefs, shoe enthusiasts--anything!


7. Since you can find anything there, twitter also can become time consuming. Limit the number of times and minutes you twitter during the day.


8. If twitter bores you, follow more interesting people.

Twitter is all over the place lately. It's the talk of the country, especially with the Ashton versus CNN contest and the rumors of a Google buyout. Some people love it and others balk at the whole concept. I'm still undecided but definitely see some benefit to it. The twitter bashers probably need to see how it is evolving. If you're a basher, take another look. If you haven't looked yet, get over there. (http://www.twitter.com/) Be in the know, at least.

Unlike Ashton and CNN, I am not on a quest to have the most followers. I am fine with 119--oh, 121 now--followers who really want to be in touch with me. If that includes you, you'll find me there at: http://twitter.com/KellyTyler I like the idea of a little cluster of like-minded people being linked via twitter. Oh, wait, linked? Linked In, that's a different story!

By the way, my vote is for Ashton because it was his use which propelled twitter to the center of attention in the US. Plus, I get CNN updates from their web site already. If you'd like to follow Ashton, here's his link: http://twitter.com/aplusk

It's a tight race to the million! Only 999,879 more to go!

All Clients Return

One thing I learned from working at TargetCom, a boutique direct response agency in Chicago (with the most cleverly creative people I've ever met), is to be patient with prospects and clients. TargetCom as a whole felt certain every prospect would work with them eventually and all clients who leave will return.

And, for the most part, they have been right.

Their service was so thorough and their creative work so right on, clients returned. And, so did prospects. Nora Ligurotis, TargetCom's CEO, used to tell me to expect clients to leave and be prepared to welcome them upon their return.

I thought of Nora this week when corresponding with a partner in an engineering firm. He said he was not in the market for training right now but wondered if he could ask me a few questions about it. Sales experts would likely tell me not to waste much time with him until he is ready to buy. I choose a different approach, and suspect Nora and her TargetCom folks would do the same. I eagerly continued the correspondence and encouraged the partner to be in touch.

You see, he may not be ready to write a check today, but when he is, he will feel good about it. He will have had time to get to know me and feel happy to trust me with his people. He will become an ideal client because he is doing so on his terms. While it may take some time upfront, the investment is worth it. Plus, the partner and his firm are interesting and my interest in them is genuine.

When clients are welcomed on their terms, they will return. Be patient.

Bring Your A Game or You Might be Traded

Someone on LinkedIn asked today if those of us in the Executive Group thought companies are using the economy as an excuse to rid themselves of highly paid employees. The consensus of more than 40 responses is: Yes.

I was one of only a few dissenters.

First, according to statistics published nearly daily, many of those laid off are not in the "highly paid" category; therefore, getting rid of high salaries does not seem to be a primary goal.

Second, if the highly paid employees are carrying their weight, they are most often retained.

Third, in my opinion, companies are using the economy as an excuse to rid themselves of "dead weight" without feeling guilty about it.

Identifying who is on the chopping block is agonizing for most involved with such decisions. The decisions are based on current performance and expected future performance. If current performance is weak, a layoff is more likely. If one's skills are not seen as likely to propel the organization to meet future goals, a layoff is more likely.

So, it's not just salary, it is performance- and skill-based.

If you do not make yourself needed, you could be part of a layoff conversation.

As employees adapt to workplaces without their friends, they need to bring their A games to work every day or risk joining their buddies in job searches. But, instead of bringing A games, some employees play games.

Some employees are bitter, resentful, and just biding their time until it's their turn to go. Biding one's time is not very motivational to most people, and it is visible to upper management. It is easy to spot the resentful people with bad attitudes, and those folks put themselves at risk for being laid off. Performing the bare minimum to get by will likely lead to getting a bye-bye.

Of course, many, many great people are let go through no fault of their own. They brought their A games to work every day and still were let go. Those folks might be in luck.

Marshall Goldsmith, the renowned management and leadership guru, told a small group of us just last week that he sees this as a time companies are "trading up." The superstars are landing gigs better than those they left. If you are a superstar, you'll land on your feet. If you are not a superstar, you might find yourself being traded to another team.

Another example of horrible networking...

This evening was Kansas City's Small Business of the Year Showcase. More than 130 award candidates displayed our (my business is a candidate) work for nearly 1,000 local business people who attended.

This is one of the biggest networking events of the year. It's so big, my mom comes to "man" my booth, so I can talk to even more people. She is a great networker, and was fun to hang out with for the evening. I was grateful she spent the time there, and appreciated her help, which is more than can be said of "Barnes."

Here's the story...

One of the most delightful people I met this evening was the wife of an attorney. She wore jeans, pony tail, and KU sweatshirt as she passed out carnations to the women with booths at the event. She was adorable, smart, and socially savvy. I liked her so much, I wanted to meet her husband before leaving. Her husband is an attorney, and she was representing him there. At the end of the event, with my display suitcase and mom in tow, I went to find the wife and her attorney husband.

Boy, was he a jerk!

He introduced himself to me politely, and when I said why I came over to meet him, he made a rude comment about his wife being insignificant. I said something about her being out among the crowd doing a great job networking, and he actually said something which would indicate that she's not qualified to do anything else. (Meanwhile, I'd already learned she has a counseling degree and works as a counselor part-time, while raising their kids. A very smart woman.)

I said, "If you get any business from this event, you'll have her to thank." By then he had dismissed me and was speaking with another man.

Times are tough for law firms, aren't they? One would think the guy would be a little more savvy. Perhaps he can learn a few tips from his wife.

Jack be Nimble, Jack be Quick

Nimble and quick are not words which often come to mind when describing many leaders. Jockeys, perhaps, but not leaders. In today's ever-changing business world, it is essential for leaders to be flexible and think creatively when managing projects, making decisions, and leading others.

One problem, causing stale and slow, seems to be reliance on traditional solutions and problem solving methods. Solving a project management time crunch issue, for example, can no longer be solved by adding people from another team to help in the short-term. First of all, there are fewer people on those teams already--if there even are other teams. Second, companies do not want to, or cannot, pay the additional expense of adding people. Third, clients are nimble and want to see action quicker than ever.

Leaders need to stimulate a creative culture to help managers who tend to rely too much on their experience. No one has experience with what we are all dealing with these days, so creativity is required.

Here are 5 ways to help create a creative environment:

1. Brainstorm for ideas. Hold weekly brainstorming meetings. Choose a topic, facilitate a professional session (email or call Kelly for some tips), and follow up. Great ideas build off other ideas, so give employees a chance to brainstorm.
2. Love ideas before you hate them. Don't judge ideas quickly. Let them fester in your mind, and the minds of others, a little while to see if something could become of them.
3. Release all assumptions. Ask, "What would we do/say in 2006?" then ask, "What might be possible in 2029?" Somewhere between there just might be the answer needed.
4. Play games with a purpose. Here's a link to Games That Stimulate Creativity: http://www.glencoe.com/sec/busadmin/entre/teacher/creative/stimulate/index.htm
5. Rearrange the office. Change a few things around the office to change the way people are functioning. People get in a rut, so change the pictures, layout, color, etc. Hold meetings outside or at an art gallery, museum, diner, park, or gym. Get people out of their usual surroundings.

Adaptability, initiative, and innovation are key success factors today. The leaders who are nimble and quick are those who will succeed through these changing times. They will succeed because they instill the same flexibility and creative thinking in those around them.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, or Jack be looking for a job to pick!

Common Sense Sales Skills are not Always Common

Doesn't every sales person know by now how important it is to ask questions and understand needs before making the sales call? Isn't that the very basic first step in sales?

I met a gal who recently hung her marketing shingle because former coworkers told her she'd be great at marketing. The thing is, she has never been in marketing. Her coworkers knew her as a recruiter, and while there are marketing elements involved in that job, it is a different job. Is it really wise to start a company in this current climate only on the basis of your friends telling you how great you would be? Not a smart move, in my opinion.

It is smart to attend functions where your target clients are, especially if you are selling yourself as a marketing expert.

A smarter move would be to get to know them and ask questions, rather than hog the entire conversation with your insistence that these targets know nothing about marketing. Believe it or not, many have marketing agencies already and others are smart marketers themselves. You are not some type of sales savior coming to save the day, as there have been dozens of marketing experts visit the same group. Sitting across from four targets over lunch, bombarding them with how much they need you, while not asking even one question, is just silly.

It was smart to attend but not knowing how to conduct yourself there showed you are an amateur in what you are trying to promote as your expertise.

Basic Sales 101 should be common sense to someone who runs a marketing firm. Ask questions! Ask questions! Ask questions! If you read one book on sales, the importance of identifying needs first would be clear to you. The fact that you spent the entire break time talking about yourself was an amateur move, it was insulting to experts at the table, and it was socially rude.

Don't listen only to your friends when setting up a new business. Don't set one up in an area for which your only expertise is a ten-year-old college degree. Don't set one up then screw up what you are trying to sell to others.

Don't try to sell yourself as an expert when it's clear you do not grasp even the very basics of what you are promoting. Figure out the basics first, then sitting with you over lunch might be interesting.

Am I an Egomaniac?

I joined Twitter this morning. Now, I feel like an egomaniac.

Seriously, does anyone out there in the cyber world really want to know my every move? Apparently so, as one person already signed up to follow me. (For non-Twitterers, "follow" is the term used to sign up for updates. It's harmless, not stalker-ish.)

So, let's see, which social media am I using now?

There's Facebook for personal contacts, high school friends, neighbors, and others known socially. There's the college football community site, which I participate in religiously. There's LinkedIn for professional contacts, including those known only via the Internet. There are discussion groups on LinkedIn too, and on The Wall Street Journal web site. There's blogging to share insights with people who have attended speaking gigs and training sessions; plus, following about ten other blogs on a regular basis. And, now there's tweeting via Twitter.

All this connecting makes me wonder why we feel the need to connect so much? What is it about how we're working and living today which makes connecting to so many people necessary? Why do we think people want to connect with us?

Are we doing business with people we've never met? Why, yes we are. I'm in the middle of working out details for two leadership sessions with people connected to via Facebook and Linked In. Neither would have happened without the social media, and both organizations are exciting to work with.

Are we building communities of people who really care about each other via the Internet? Why, yes we are. The college football board mentioned above is primarily for football discussions, but there's one message board for other topics. People all over the country post about new babies, ask for travel recommendations, ask for and give business advice, share music and movie reviews, and share life's sorrows as well. I've shed tears of joy, sorrow, and laughter for people on there, and I don't even know their names. This group proves a bonded community can be formed and developed via the Internet.

Are we holding on to connections longer than in the past? Why, yes we are. We remain connected with former coworkers, high school classmates, and associates more consistently than in the past. It makes me feel good when a high school friend posts pictures of her kids on Facebook or when a former coworker on Linked In updates her profile about a new job.

Could organizations take advantage of the social media? Why, yes they can. And, many are!

Organizations with employees spread all over the country, or world, can unite via discussion groups. Companies can keep in touch with alumni employees, in the hope of maintaining a positive image and perhaps wooing them to return. Businesses can conduct JIT brainstorm sessions. There's a million things to do!

So, in considering the uses and purposes for the social media I employ, I've decided I am not an egomaniac. After all, the readers, followers, friends, and connections could opt out.

You Neede Mine Skillz

An administrative assistant who posts a self-promotion on a networking site better not have typos in her post. A creative marketing agency better have a creative web site. Someone who tauts himself as a great referrer better give referrals. An executive who disparages another's leadership ability ought to be a good leader himself.

One might think those points are obvious, but they are not so obvious to four people I've had contact with in the last week.

No matter what you tell people you are good at, the truth will show through.

If the gal was the best admin, as she claimed, she would not have two typos in a three-sentence post. One is given fifteen minutes to alter a post, so she had time to fix it. Her errors reveal her to be someone who does not pay attention to detail and does not check her work. While a typo in an informal email is generally acceptable, it is not acceptable when posting about one's skills looking for a job.

You get the gist.

Be careful about how you present yourself, as people will see the truth. Be what you claim to be, or become what you wish you were, and know that if you do not, people can tell.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

When someone lies, she needs to assume others bridge the gap between her personal and business ethics. A reasonable assumption is that the liar is not a person of integrity and runs an unethical business.

An example illustrates the point.

Last year a new boutique creative agency held a drawing for three $50 Plaza gift cards at a city-wide business competition. It notified the winners but did not send at least one of them the prized gift card, nor did the owner return email or voice mail inquiries--ever.

The small agency is a liar.

As the ignored winner of the gift card, it is disappointing the agency was able to get away with lying to get attention at the competition. I suspect, however, that I am not the only one who knows the agency, and its owner, lied. Plus, if she lied about the gift cards, she lies about other things too. If she has no integrity regarding a silly drawing, she has none regarding more important issues.

Some day, the agency will have to answer for the way it does business. It's not up to me to determine how or when, and frankly, I don't even care, but someone will. Someone will hold the agency accountable for the way it does business and treats people, as all liars do.

The agency is participating in the same competition this year. It will be interesting to see if it uses the same fake ruse to garner attention this year. It is unlikely I will say anything to the owner, as it is not my mission to serve as her conscience. It is unlikely I will call her out with a childish, "Liar, liar pants on fire!"

Besides, she knows she's a liar. That has to be a worse feeling than knowing I know she's one too.

Social Media Won't Work if You Are Not Social

I'm a member of 17 groups on Linked In. That's not impressive or anything. In fact, I created 4 of the groups myself. Luckily, others have joined me in all of the groups.

Some of the groups have hundreds of members all over the world. The smallest group is for a specific MasterMind, which only includes 4 of us. Some groups are specific to an industry, such as Professional Keynotes, while another is for a hobby, like Notre Dame football. There are hundreds of other groups I am not in and know nothing about.

The point is: if you want to be in a group of like-minded people, there's a group for you. Or, you can create one in about two minutes.

What is the benefit of joining a group, especially one with hundreds of members?

I am pretty sure someone will not think, "I need to hire a keynoter, so I'll scroll through the 776 members of the Professional Keynote Speakers group." So, if not for being selected for business, what is the point?

If someone joins a community, what is their obligation to it?

Is it okay for someone to join and reap the benefits but not participate? Not share ideas or resources?

I am trying to contribute better to the communities I commit to. A new author posted about the release of his new book. He didn't ask for advice, so I just congratulated him. Next thing I know, he's offering to help me network and we're meeting for coffee next week.

In another group someone asked for advice about training in the health care industry. I replied that I have some experience in that area and would gladly speak with him. We spoke for 13 minutes yesterday. He was so grateful and could not believe I gave him the time. Plus, I had some good ideas for him, if I may say so myself.

In every group, there are discussions without replies. Why not?

Why join the group but not participate in any discussions? Everyone does not need to reply every time, but if you join a community, look for ways to contribute to it. Offer advice, compliment and congratulate others, and do more than take expertise offered.

If you use social media, be social so you get something out of it--and allow others to as well.

Watch the Bullying, Ladies

It turns out men are equal-opportunity bullies spreading the boorish behavior to men and women, but women bully other women.

An estimated 54 million people say they have been bullied at work, according to a 2007 survey by Zogby International, and more than 70% of the bullying is women bullying other women, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute.

Good Morning America shared those stats in a story this morning. (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=6943347&page=1)

Two things were truly bothersome with the GMA story today.

The first was the 70% stat shared. Are those bullies afraid to speak that way to men? Do they not see how mean their behavior is? Do they let their children behave that way? Women leaders need to be aware of how they come across to employees, no matter what level they are.

Part of being Emotionally Intelligent is understanding the impact you have on others. Employees will not give 100% effort to people who belittle, badger, or bully them. These days, when workforces are thin, most companies need all the effort they can get.

The other bothersome component of the story was the "bully roundtable" included. Women who were trying to learn about their bullying behavior are part of a "bully roundtable." GMA showed three or four of the women airing their comments about not realizing they were bullies. The women said the right things, and if one reads the article linked it looks like they get it. But, their body language and voice tones come across as flippant and condescending.

I wondered if those women are in the roundtable because their HR department forced them to be there. Clearly, they do not get it. Clearly, they are not going to change when left on their own. Clearly, women who work with the women in the story will continue to be treated poorly.

It's too bad they don't get it.

Those women, and women like them, are giving the rest of us a bad name. We're ladies. I'm not going to say what those bullies are, but let's say "witches." Next time one of them wonders how her workplace reputation as a "witch" was started, I hope she looks in the mirror and sees the truth.

There are no Part-Time Jerks

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Steven Fowler's coworkers, fellow board members, clients, neighbors, and associates saw the man he is when he was on the television show Wife Swap, which aired January 30, 2009.

On the show, two opposite families switch wives/moms for two weeks. The January 30th episode switched a mom from a small Missouri town with a life coach from San Francisco. The families have very different lifestyles, but what has made the news is how the San Francisco father treated the Missouri mother.

(For the record, the wives live in each other's homes, but the show is a non-sexual experiment.)

Fowler called the Missouri mom names and constantly berated her for being uneducated and overweight. He was truly one of the most arrogant people ever shown on television. Plus, he repeatedly insulted Missouri, which really got my goat!

Since the show aired, Fowler has received threats, someone egged his house, and he resigned from two non-profit boards. His neighbors report on the increased security at the home and on the increased traffic of people coming by to stare. Fowler has become famous for being despicable; although, he issued an apology for being arrogant.

He issued an apology, but it is too late to take back his behavior. He really did call the woman names and make fun of her. He really did say he was better than her. He really did come across as an elitist jerk. An apology can't take it back. He showed people who he is, and now he has to face it himself.

We're not all going on television shows or performing so rudely on a worldwide stage, but consider behavior at kids' volleyball or soccer games. A man last week tried to argue a line judge's call with me. I did not participate in his argument but felt sorry for people he works with. Consider behavior at a store, bank, or post office. I saw a woman wearing the logo of her employer (a safe assumption) get mad at the grocery store when the Diet Coke hadn't been stocked.

Leaders represent their companies all the time. Leaders represent themselves all the time. Leaders need to be uber-aware of the impression given all the time because when you show someone who you are, they will believe you. If they see who are, your business reputation could be affected, as Fowler's was.

If you are a jerk on TV, or at a volleyball game, or in line at the post office, you're probably a jerk at work too. And, people will believe you.


(Link to an ABC story about Fowler and the ramifications of his appearance on the show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhykAAg86bs )

Machiavellian Manipulator

Yesterday's blog story stuck with me again today. One coworker told another about her boss ranting like a child after a client changed the scope of a project. The employee was upset and did not hold the boss, whom I gathered is the VP of Sales or Client Services, in high regard.

What sticks in my mind today about the incident is how often I hear similar stories. As a leadership consultant who meets dozens of people a week through programs, networking, or interviews, hearing about an executive going off on people is not rare.

Often, the executive is a Machiavellian Manipulator. He is well dressed, well spoken, well connected. He is everything a well respected executive should be--in front of fellow execs or Board members. Behind closed doors with lower level employees, however, his is something else.

He is often feared because of his lack of emotional control. He lacks respect for people lower on the career ladder than himself, and shows it by speaking down to them, ignoring their requests, and diminishing their needs. He takes credit for their ideas and feels entitled to do so. He manipulates those who report to him because they cannot speak up to anyone.

Who would believe their word against the person who is so well liked, spoken, and connected? No one. So, the employees continue being afraid, disengaged, and biding their time until they can move elsewhere.

As a leader, be weary of being the Machiavellian Manipulator and make sure none are on your team. If you have an executive who reports to you who fits this description, it would be worth your time to adjust his, or her, attitude before he costs you clients and valued employees.

Pssst...Your Character is Showing

"A person's character can be measured by that which makes him angry."

Mark Twain

Recently I overheard a conversation between two people who work together. We were at a coffee shop where they were using loud indoor voices, so it was quite easy to hear their conversation from a table a few feet away.

Apparently, one of their bosses, whom I gathered is the VP of Sales or Account Services, went on a rampage in the office earlier this morning. She was yelling in the office about a client who cut back a project which has been in the works for months. The VP ranted about the client within earshot of employees on her team, along with anyone in their offices, and threw a stapler across the office.

The employee was upset about the incident, although it did not sound like she was the target of the rampage, and was emotional when filling in her coworker.

Is it reasonable for the VP to be upset about the project and budget change? Sure. Is it reasonable for the VP to scream in the office? No.

No, it is not reasonable for an adult to behave like a two-year old who doesn't get her way. Professional adults, at all levels, need to be in more control of their emotions than a two-year old.
Professional adults do not scream at others, nor do they throw supplies around the office.

Professional adults need to understand the impact of their emotions. When the VP showed lack of control for her anger, she gave those around the impression that she is immature and unable to handle adversity. In fact, that impression was given beyond those around, as it was also given to each person those people told.

In a time when emotions are running high and people are stressed out, company leaders need to maintain control of their emotions. They need to understand the impact their emotions have on others, and they need to know how best to maintain control. In a time when the ability to handle adversity is essential, leaders need to consistently and constantly demonstrate Emotional Intelligence (EI).

Employees are always measuring leaders' behavior and making decisions based on what they see. If a leader shows lack of EI, employees will not follow, believe, or trust her. Character shows all the time, especially when times are tough. Measure up.

Strategy v. Execution

Which is the more important role in your job: strategy or execution?

The Wall Street Journal posed the question to members of its CEO Council, a group of 100 top CEOs first convened in last fall.

Most CEOs could not select one or the other; although, many agreed CEOs should spend more time on strategy while hiring others to focus on execution. One concern in certain industries is creating strategies which are flexible enough to change easily if they do not work.

The CEO's job is to determine vision, identify strategies, and ensure execution. Of course, they do not do any of those alone. The three jobs are accomplished with teams of people.

Whichever is important in your job, success comes down to people. A company could have a compelling vision and smart strategies, but if people are not excited about them, they will not happen.

Strategy or execution? I think it's a trick question. The answer is "People."

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

"Our people are our most important asset" is spoken as often as Sweet Caroline is sung during karaoke. And, those words are as unimpressive as the Neil Diamond wanna be's. Why doesn't proclaiming people as the greatest asset mean anything any more?

The answer: because the sentiment is easier said than done. Companies often say they care about their people, even including lovable words in Mission, Vision, and Values Statements.

How do companies show they care?

By the benefits they provide--health care, tuition reimbursement, vacation days, etc. Providing updated equipment, high safety standards, and a decent working environment also show companies care. The ways listed are important to employees, but they are viewed as the cost of doing business rather than as evidence of care.

How people are treated on a daily basis is a true indicator of a company's care.

For example, Linda, an account coordinator for a medium-size company, was put on bed-rest for pre-term labor for the last three weeks of her pregnancy. The company's HR manager sent flowers upon the delivery, and that was the only communication the company had with her for several weeks.

Sure, her close company friends called, but her boss did not and neither did anyone else in Management. The company missed an opportunity to bond with Linda and cement her loyalty. The HR VP was surprised Linda returned for only a short time after her child was delivered. Frankly, no one who pay attention to employee loyalty and to leadership would have been surprised.

A better example is the KCIM Cares program at Kansas City Internal Medicine. Twice a month employees can pay $5 to wear jeans to work. The money goes into a fund which is used to help coworkers in need. Funds were used for an employee whose electricity was nearly shut off, for the funeral of an employee's child, and for donations to a favorite charity. The company says it cares about employees, and it shows.

It's not usually the policies, procedures, or benefits people take to heart.

It's how they are treated by immediate supervisors, no matter what level, on a daily basis. Make sure organization leaders, and managers, don't miss opportunities to do simple things to show genuine care. Simple actions will make the difference in the employees' day (and, thus, productivity) and in their loyalty to the company.

Sincerity will show your coworkers they are the most important assets and will impress them just like the gal who belts out a superb rendition of Me & Bobby McGee at karaoke.

A Humble Hero, A True Leader

As Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger continues to share the story of Flight 1549, he exposes more and more about true leadership.

When someone (sorry, I've watched him so many times now, I've forgotten the interviewers) asked how he felt about being called a hero, Sully spoke of his discomfort with the label but did not want to diminish how others felt about him. He said he did not want to take away from the feelings they had about what he did for their families.

In all his humility, Sully is not saying, "Oh it was nothing" because that would insult people who feel something great. He is so in-touch with himself and comfortable with who he is that he is uber-aware of how he impacts others. He knows people want a hero right now, and he is letting them have one. While modest and humble, he is respecting others' needs.

Sully realizes their need to call him a hero is not really about him, after all. It is about them. They have a need. Clearly, Sully is a humble man. He does not need the pomp and circumstance surrounding the aftermath of Flight 1549. No, he does not need to be called a hero. The people need to have a hero. So, he accepts the label and is sharing his story.

An important aspect of Emotional Intelligence, and true leadership, is being aware of how one impacts others. Great leaders get out of their own heads and think about others.

How often have similar stories been publicized, but with the "hero" taking credit or feigning humility? On a smaller scale, how often do you hear someone say, "No problem" when thanked? Why must they diminish the gratitude? When someone appreciates you, let them. When someone thanks you, let them. Let people have that moment.

The more we can focus on others, following Sully's lead, the better job we'll do as true leaders.

He Knew

A deeply profound part of Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger's interview with Katie Couric on 60 Minutes last evening was when Couric asked the pilot what was going through his mind as he prepared to land Flight 1549 in the Hudson. He shared his thoughts about being comforted by the knowledge that the flight attendants would get the passengers off the plane if he landed it safely. Couric said, "That's a big if."

Sully replied to Couric, "I knew I could do it."

He knew he could do it? Wow.

Such confidence in the midst of a dangerous crisis is profound. He did not say he would try to land the plane. He knew he could land it.

Sully described having to keep his cool. "The physiological reaction I had to this was strong, and I had to force myself to use my training and force calm on the situation," he said.

Without using the term, Sully described the essence of Emotional Intelligence (EI) throughout the interview. His awareness of his own emotions and reactions, trust of the crew, understanding of how his emotions would impact 155 people--all are related to EI. EI has been somewhat of a buzzword in recent years, but it is the essentials of it which separate true leaders from those with fancy titles. Sully embodies it. From the reaction of his family and friends, he embodies it all the time, not just in a crisis or in the spotlight. Sully is the type of leader most wish to become.

Learning from him, perhaps we can all hone our abilities so we could perform as well in a crisis. Perhaps we could all become better leaders who know we can do whatever it takes to do our jobs the best.

He just knew, and so can we.



(The link to the 60 Minutes interview and story: http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/60minutes/main3415.shtml)

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You opens today. The basic premise of the movie, and book upon which it is based, is when a boy is mean to a girl, it means he does not like her.

Unfortunately, girls often misconstrue the bad behavior to mean the boy does like her, so she is overly persistent in trying to get his attention. "He lost my number" a girl will say to justify why he has not called after what she thought was a great initial meeting. Or, "He calls at midnight every Friday night because he's just busy during the week and forgot to ask me out." Um, no, he didn't forget.

The truth is, if the boy likes the girl, he calls. If he is interested, he initiates contact. If he wants to get to know her better, he makes it happen. The movie tries to make the point that since he isn't into her, she should move on to someone who will be into her.

Can this premise apply at networking functions or in the office?

Can we say, "I'm just not that into you" at networking functions when pushy sales people promise to save us money on our benefit plans when they don't have a clue what our needs, plans, or costs are?

Can we say, "I'm just not that into you" at work when someone we know doesn't carry her weight on team projects invites us to join a team?

Sure, it would be rude to use the exact phrase, but most of us could benefit from speaking up politely when needed.

On the other hand, if you're a frustrated sales person who hears, "I'm just not that into you" from potential clients, consider the difference between being a pest and being useful. Rather than give up at the first "No," become a useful resource for your target customer. Persistence will only pay off when you listen to the potential customer and be what he needs. Being attractive to the customer will work better than being annoying.

It also works for girls and guys.

He's Just Not That Into You just might have lessons for all of us, even those not playing the dating game per se.