There are no Part-Time Jerks

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Steven Fowler's coworkers, fellow board members, clients, neighbors, and associates saw the man he is when he was on the television show Wife Swap, which aired January 30, 2009.

On the show, two opposite families switch wives/moms for two weeks. The January 30th episode switched a mom from a small Missouri town with a life coach from San Francisco. The families have very different lifestyles, but what has made the news is how the San Francisco father treated the Missouri mother.

(For the record, the wives live in each other's homes, but the show is a non-sexual experiment.)

Fowler called the Missouri mom names and constantly berated her for being uneducated and overweight. He was truly one of the most arrogant people ever shown on television. Plus, he repeatedly insulted Missouri, which really got my goat!

Since the show aired, Fowler has received threats, someone egged his house, and he resigned from two non-profit boards. His neighbors report on the increased security at the home and on the increased traffic of people coming by to stare. Fowler has become famous for being despicable; although, he issued an apology for being arrogant.

He issued an apology, but it is too late to take back his behavior. He really did call the woman names and make fun of her. He really did say he was better than her. He really did come across as an elitist jerk. An apology can't take it back. He showed people who he is, and now he has to face it himself.

We're not all going on television shows or performing so rudely on a worldwide stage, but consider behavior at kids' volleyball or soccer games. A man last week tried to argue a line judge's call with me. I did not participate in his argument but felt sorry for people he works with. Consider behavior at a store, bank, or post office. I saw a woman wearing the logo of her employer (a safe assumption) get mad at the grocery store when the Diet Coke hadn't been stocked.

Leaders represent their companies all the time. Leaders represent themselves all the time. Leaders need to be uber-aware of the impression given all the time because when you show someone who you are, they will believe you. If they see who are, your business reputation could be affected, as Fowler's was.

If you are a jerk on TV, or at a volleyball game, or in line at the post office, you're probably a jerk at work too. And, people will believe you.


(Link to an ABC story about Fowler and the ramifications of his appearance on the show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhykAAg86bs )