Be careful what you wish for

I did not see the Golden Globes telecast Sunday, but I knew Ricky Gervais was the host. I did not know who most of the nominees were, had not seen most of the nominated movies, and still do not know who won. But, I knew in advance Ricky Gervais would be the host, and I knew he'd tip-toe on the line between clever and acerbic. 

If someone as out of touch with the event as me could anticipate how Gervais would perform, wouldn't the organizers of the event do so as well?

The organizers did know what to expect with Gervais as host, especially since he hosted the same event last year.

They invited him and wanted him to walk that fine line, and he did. Be careful what you wish for.

Gervais got a little too far over the line and was too mean-spirited, according to reviews of the event. Now, some of the superstars who were offended by Gervais's jabs are not pleased, which means they could avoid the event in the future. (Remember a few years ago when big stars did not attend awards shows? They were even more boring than they are now!)

Once you get what you asked for, you can't backtrack. You have to face the consequences.

The Golden Globes are just one example.


What about when the project you bid on comes through and you need to form a bigger team, work late for days on end, and invest big bucks before being reimbursed--be careful what you wish for. Don't complain about the bigger team, longer hours, or investment because you wished for all of that when you wished for the project.

What about when you are arguing with someone close to you and know you are right, so you keep arguing until the other person shuts down--be careful what you wish for. Don't be surprised when the other person shuts down or tunes you out for the rest of the day because you wished for all of that by wishing to win the argument.

Be careful what you wish for, and while you're wishing, think it through to be sure you're wishing for the right things. There's no backtracking later, so make wise wishes.

2011 brought to you by the letter "R"

Each Sesame Street show is famously brought to you by one of the letters of the alphabet. Along the same line, this new year is brought to you by a letter too: the letter R. This one year is a segment of our lives after all.

Kick off the new year by committing to these R words for the year:

Reflect
Resolve
Risk
Reward

Reflect daily about the good things in your life, your contributions to the world that day, who you made smile,what you are thankful for. It seems people tend to get absorbed in the negative too often--who makes us mad, who is annoying, what we don't have. Focus a little bit of time at the end of each day reflecting on the good things in your life. (This is like the Mirror Test in Put Your Whole Self In!)

Resolve to do better. Resolve to be the person you really see yourself as. Have you ever noticed people often say, "That's not who I am!" after they make a mistake or do something they are not proud of? For example, a student last semester told me he blew off studying for his final and was disappointed in himself. He said, "I am a hard worker. Blowing off finals is not who I am." In very kind terms, I told him it is who he is right now. He may not like it, he may want to be someone else, but he has to face the consequences of being who he is right now. And, he can do better next time. Resolve to be who you want to be, rather than who you used to be or who you wish you were.

Risk more often. Wisely, of course. Let this be the year you refrain from second-guessing yourself. Take chances when pursuing new business, reaching for a new career goal, building professional and personal relationships. Put yourself out there just a little bit more and see what happens. You might be surprised by the results that come from stretching yourself.

Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Rather than wait for someone else to acknowledge something good you've done, reward yourself. Management may not know what you did, clients might not realize the burden their last-minute changes had on you, friends and family might not see the behind-the-scenes effort that went in to the event you hosted. Don't expect others to reward you: reward yourself. Reducing the expectations of others in this regard will reduce the pressure on the relationships and might reduce your stress level too.

If you ponder the letter R throughout the year, and you reflect, resolve, risk, and reward yourself, your year will be tRemendous!

Reader Question:
What R words would you add to the list?