The most UN-selfish move an athlete could make

If you haven't heard of him yet, you will.

You'll be hearing a lot about Keith Fitzhugh this week because he just made a decision everyone says they would make, but few actually do. He just made what his agent called "the most unselfish thing I've heard by a player in sports." At a time when most news stories are about athletes getting arrested, pouting on the sidelines, or living large, this twenty-four-year-old is in the news for being remarkable.

Keith Fitzhugh turned down an offer to join the New York Jets to remain a conductor with Norfolk Southern Railroad.

Why oh why would someone do that?!

Keith did it because he gets a steady paycheck every two weeks, and that paycheck helps take care of his parents. His father is disabled, and his mother works hard to make ends meet. Keith helps support them, and a steady paycheck is important. If he signed with the Jets now, he could be released in a few weeks, left without a paycheck at all. He's already been through that--twice.

He said, in an article linked from ESPN, that he wants to do what is best for his family in the long-term.

He gave up the chance to join a potential Super Bowl team for the more steady paycheck which supports his family.

Would other twenty-somethings make the same choice? In fact, would thirty- or forty-somethings?

People say they put their family first, but when it comes right down to it, actions speak louder than words. People say their family comes first, yet they don't visit their aging parents for weeks at a time. They say their children come first, yet they text or talk on the phone while little Susie plays soccer. They say their family is their priority, yet they disparage their spouse to anyone who will listen.

People say their family is important, yet they extend meetings past business hours, travel for work unnecessarily, and waste time at work on weekends. Sure, meetings go past 5:00pm, business trips are important, and weekend work is required sometimes. However, sometimes meetings and weekend work are caused by lack of efficiency more so than need, and business trips are sometimes taken to boost one's ego rather than out of necessity.

Keith Fitzhugh's actions show his truth. His actions show his family really is the most important thing in his life. When your actions are consistent with your words, especially when faced with a difficult decision, you can't get more All-In than that.

(Link to ESPN article and video)

I met Frank Sinatra. Mr. Sinatra was a friend of mine. You're no Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra is known for saying, "This is my world. You're all just guests here."

Too many people have been imitating Mr. Sinatra lately, and I'm not talking about singing or acting or romancing.

Too many people act like they are the only ones who matter, and the rest of us are their guests. We live in a society where people are oblivious to others, and that is causing isolation, silos, and narcissism.

A few examples...

The elderly woman who rammed my car told me, "I decided to get a cake at the grocery store and almost missed the entrance." The grocery store was on my right, and she was on my left. So, she just acted on her decision as if I wasn't there. Was she oblivious to the fact that others are on the road at the same time, or did she just not care?

The high school swim team practices at the local YMCA and enters the locker room without toweling off. They get water all over the floors and benches and never wipe it up. An elderly woman slipped, fell and hurt her hip, yet the swimmers do not alter their behavior. Are they oblivious to the fact that others use the locker room too or do they just not care about anyone else?

Some men were meeting at a coffee shop discussing the new cars coming out for the next year. I overheard three of them talking about which new model they were planning to purchase, and I noticed the fourth man did not chime in with his new car intentions. By the end of their meeting, it was clear the fourth man had been laid off recently. Were his friends oblivious to how he might feel or not friends at all?

The culture of oblivion is so prominent, ABC has a television series dedicated to it. What Would You Do? puts people in awkward situations and wonders how they will respond. One episode had a waiter insult gay couples to see if other restaurant patrons would speak up. The waiter and couples were in on the show. Another episode had teenagers bullying each other to see if adults walking by would step in. There have been episodes involving couples, parents and children, elderly drivers, drunk medical professionals in a wide variety of situations we're all faced with on a regular basis.

Watching the show, one would think, "Of course, I would say something!" But, when it comes right down to it, do you really speak up? Or, perhaps you say something at the time, then turn right around and do something equally as oblivious to others the next minute. Or, perhaps you don't even notice something untoward is going on in the first place because you're oblivious to your surroundings.

We are living at a time when people are very self-focused, which may be a natural response during a recession that includes loss of jobs, foreclosed homes, stressed out families, budget cuts at home and work, depressed neighbors, etc. Maybe going through all of that causes people to hunker down and focus on their own situations.

The problem is that such hunkering down causes people to become oblivious to others.

How can we move our country, workplaces, families, lives forward if we're oblivious to those around us? We can't. Wake up! Pay attention! There are other people out there suffering, celebrating, learning, doing, being, hanging on, thriving, crying, giving, laughing, needing, teaching. Don't be oblivious to them!

If you want others to pay attention to you, do not be oblivious to others. If you don't want to be treated like a guest in someone else's world, don't treat people like they are guests in yours.