He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You opens today. The basic premise of the movie, and book upon which it is based, is when a boy is mean to a girl, it means he does not like her.

Unfortunately, girls often misconstrue the bad behavior to mean the boy does like her, so she is overly persistent in trying to get his attention. "He lost my number" a girl will say to justify why he has not called after what she thought was a great initial meeting. Or, "He calls at midnight every Friday night because he's just busy during the week and forgot to ask me out." Um, no, he didn't forget.

The truth is, if the boy likes the girl, he calls. If he is interested, he initiates contact. If he wants to get to know her better, he makes it happen. The movie tries to make the point that since he isn't into her, she should move on to someone who will be into her.

Can this premise apply at networking functions or in the office?

Can we say, "I'm just not that into you" at networking functions when pushy sales people promise to save us money on our benefit plans when they don't have a clue what our needs, plans, or costs are?

Can we say, "I'm just not that into you" at work when someone we know doesn't carry her weight on team projects invites us to join a team?

Sure, it would be rude to use the exact phrase, but most of us could benefit from speaking up politely when needed.

On the other hand, if you're a frustrated sales person who hears, "I'm just not that into you" from potential clients, consider the difference between being a pest and being useful. Rather than give up at the first "No," become a useful resource for your target customer. Persistence will only pay off when you listen to the potential customer and be what he needs. Being attractive to the customer will work better than being annoying.

It also works for girls and guys.

He's Just Not That Into You just might have lessons for all of us, even those not playing the dating game per se.