The most UN-selfish move an athlete could make

If you haven't heard of him yet, you will.

You'll be hearing a lot about Keith Fitzhugh this week because he just made a decision everyone says they would make, but few actually do. He just made what his agent called "the most unselfish thing I've heard by a player in sports." At a time when most news stories are about athletes getting arrested, pouting on the sidelines, or living large, this twenty-four-year-old is in the news for being remarkable.

Keith Fitzhugh turned down an offer to join the New York Jets to remain a conductor with Norfolk Southern Railroad.

Why oh why would someone do that?!

Keith did it because he gets a steady paycheck every two weeks, and that paycheck helps take care of his parents. His father is disabled, and his mother works hard to make ends meet. Keith helps support them, and a steady paycheck is important. If he signed with the Jets now, he could be released in a few weeks, left without a paycheck at all. He's already been through that--twice.

He said, in an article linked from ESPN, that he wants to do what is best for his family in the long-term.

He gave up the chance to join a potential Super Bowl team for the more steady paycheck which supports his family.

Would other twenty-somethings make the same choice? In fact, would thirty- or forty-somethings?

People say they put their family first, but when it comes right down to it, actions speak louder than words. People say their family comes first, yet they don't visit their aging parents for weeks at a time. They say their children come first, yet they text or talk on the phone while little Susie plays soccer. They say their family is their priority, yet they disparage their spouse to anyone who will listen.

People say their family is important, yet they extend meetings past business hours, travel for work unnecessarily, and waste time at work on weekends. Sure, meetings go past 5:00pm, business trips are important, and weekend work is required sometimes. However, sometimes meetings and weekend work are caused by lack of efficiency more so than need, and business trips are sometimes taken to boost one's ego rather than out of necessity.

Keith Fitzhugh's actions show his truth. His actions show his family really is the most important thing in his life. When your actions are consistent with your words, especially when faced with a difficult decision, you can't get more All-In than that.

(Link to ESPN article and video)

I met Frank Sinatra. Mr. Sinatra was a friend of mine. You're no Sinatra.

Frank Sinatra is known for saying, "This is my world. You're all just guests here."

Too many people have been imitating Mr. Sinatra lately, and I'm not talking about singing or acting or romancing.

Too many people act like they are the only ones who matter, and the rest of us are their guests. We live in a society where people are oblivious to others, and that is causing isolation, silos, and narcissism.

A few examples...

The elderly woman who rammed my car told me, "I decided to get a cake at the grocery store and almost missed the entrance." The grocery store was on my right, and she was on my left. So, she just acted on her decision as if I wasn't there. Was she oblivious to the fact that others are on the road at the same time, or did she just not care?

The high school swim team practices at the local YMCA and enters the locker room without toweling off. They get water all over the floors and benches and never wipe it up. An elderly woman slipped, fell and hurt her hip, yet the swimmers do not alter their behavior. Are they oblivious to the fact that others use the locker room too or do they just not care about anyone else?

Some men were meeting at a coffee shop discussing the new cars coming out for the next year. I overheard three of them talking about which new model they were planning to purchase, and I noticed the fourth man did not chime in with his new car intentions. By the end of their meeting, it was clear the fourth man had been laid off recently. Were his friends oblivious to how he might feel or not friends at all?

The culture of oblivion is so prominent, ABC has a television series dedicated to it. What Would You Do? puts people in awkward situations and wonders how they will respond. One episode had a waiter insult gay couples to see if other restaurant patrons would speak up. The waiter and couples were in on the show. Another episode had teenagers bullying each other to see if adults walking by would step in. There have been episodes involving couples, parents and children, elderly drivers, drunk medical professionals in a wide variety of situations we're all faced with on a regular basis.

Watching the show, one would think, "Of course, I would say something!" But, when it comes right down to it, do you really speak up? Or, perhaps you say something at the time, then turn right around and do something equally as oblivious to others the next minute. Or, perhaps you don't even notice something untoward is going on in the first place because you're oblivious to your surroundings.

We are living at a time when people are very self-focused, which may be a natural response during a recession that includes loss of jobs, foreclosed homes, stressed out families, budget cuts at home and work, depressed neighbors, etc. Maybe going through all of that causes people to hunker down and focus on their own situations.

The problem is that such hunkering down causes people to become oblivious to others.

How can we move our country, workplaces, families, lives forward if we're oblivious to those around us? We can't. Wake up! Pay attention! There are other people out there suffering, celebrating, learning, doing, being, hanging on, thriving, crying, giving, laughing, needing, teaching. Don't be oblivious to them!

If you want others to pay attention to you, do not be oblivious to others. If you don't want to be treated like a guest in someone else's world, don't treat people like they are guests in yours.

3 Lessons from a two-toed, small town, high school quarterback

The past six months of Dylan Fink's life have been gruesome and triumphant.

The gruesome part was when a combine sliced through both of his feet, leaving him only two toes.

[brief pause for you to ponder that for a minute...]

An article in today's Kansas City Star (linked below) shares Fink's story from the combine slice to tonight's triumph. Tonight, Fink leads his eight-man high school football team to the semifinals as their quarterback. The article shares details of Fink's recovery, return to school, and return to the football field.

It is nice to learn about a teenager with character at a time when most teens complain if they don't have a cell phone. Imagine their reaction if eight toes were sliced off their feet? But, Fink is not "most teens." He is someone special, and we can learn from him and the story.

Three things we can learn from the quarterbacking teenager:

#1. Playing for your team matters. Fink's recovery stayed ahead of schedule because he wanted to play football with his friends. He's not doing it for money or fame. He's doing it to contribute to the team, a team of his friends.

Isn't there something workplace teams, and those who assemble them, could take away from that? People want to contribute, they want to be on the team.

#2. Fighting to be on the team matters. Fink worked hard to return to his team. He didn't even walk the first week after the accident, and the first time he tried lasted only a few seconds. The young man worked hard to go from not walking to scoring nine touchdowns in the season. His teammates know he worked hard. It showed them how badly he wanted to be on the team. They had to work hard to earn what Fink was fighting for. They knew Fink was fighting to be on the team, and they had to make it a team worth fighting for. His fight inspired them.

Could workplace teammates do the same? Workplace team members certainly know how each other feels about the team, so couldn't one of them inspire the rest toward higher performance? Of course they can.

#3. Prioritizing fun over profit can pay off. Sam Mellinger wrote in the article, "Sports are hard to hug sometimes. Players cheat. Coaches lie. Too many use success for ego and entitlement and greed. Profit is prioritized over fun, every stadium is a TV studio, every message comes with an agenda. Sometimes the whole thing can suppress character as much as cultivate it..."

When companies bombard employees with messages relaying ego, entitlement, greed, and agendas, the employees know it and are not inspired by it. Employees want to play for the team, but they do not want to play for some high level executive's fancy car. Fink says. “Being out there with my team, I feel like I’m accomplishing a lot.” Workplace team members want that same feeling.

Fink's character was cultivated long before the combine sliced off his toes. The combine slicing just gave him a chance to show it. It also gave us the chance to learn from the two-toed, small town, high school quarterback.

What do you think? Can workplace teams learn from the young quarterback?

__________
Please click here for the full article: Kansas City Star article by Sam Mellinger


UPDATE:
The Miami Eagles team was defeated by St. Joseph Christian, 22-30, in their final game of the season. Congratulations to Dylan and his teammates for a valiant effort.

Perception: what you see is what you get

A headline in this morning's news got my attention:
CBS 'The Early Show' executive producer David Friedman doubles the size of his office while staff face layoffs and cost cuts

The article, on the New York Post web site (1), reveals the dismay felt by the remaining staff. Apparently Mr. Friedman, son of a top CBS executive, flew to London to fire staff there a month prior to expanding his office. 

Mr. Friedman has two things working against him: he recently laid off people and he is the son of an executive.

He should expect to be scrutinized. As an executive himself, he should be aware of others' perceptions and how they are formed. Now, he should expect backlash for his decorating decision.

They say perception is reality. The perception that Mr. Friedman is insensitive to effects of layoffs, aloof, and a poor decision maker could be defended by him and his supporters; however, the reality is that he'll have to deal with that perception. He will have to purposefully overcome the perceptions of himself if he intends to be productive and influential at CBS going forward.

Why bother?Mr. Friedman should bother because perception affects judgment, which affects behavior. Perception is "the process of interpreting and understanding one's environment."

The staff of "The Early Show" interpreted Mr. Friedman's actions and will base decisions about him on their interpretation, just as employees all over the country do in their own offices daily. People respond to others based on their own perception of them and the environment.

A manager whose first words of the day are, "Don't talk to me until I've had coffee!" will be perceived as less calm, friendly, or reliable than a boss who arrives in a satisfactory mood. A project manager who exclaims, "Why can't those architects finish on time?" every time there is a client delay will be perceived as inflexible and not service-oriented.

To ensure the perceptions others have of you is positive and productive, ensure your actions are congruent with your intentions. Their perceptions will impact your influence, so impact the perceptions carefully, consciously, and cautiously. Since what you see is what you'll get, awareness of others' perceptions can lead to more influence and productivity. Or, less.

[What do you think? Have you worked for someone who made a similar mistake as Mr. Friedman? Were the perceptions similar or different? Did the manager overcome negative perceptions following the mistake? Your comments would be welcome and appreciated.]

POST SOURCES:
1. The article can be found here: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/staff_office_early_layoffs_executive_dfDQ0jg8F581zxUYuUVx5M?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME=
2. Management; Kinicki and Williams; McGraw Hill 2009)

Where should a leader's head be?

The sand or clouds: Which is the better location for a leader's head?

A head in the sand means the leader avoids facts which might be uncomfortable to face. Perhaps they don't want to admit a mistake, or own a bad decision, or have to deal with the same issue again. When leaders do not want to hear bad news, their people often alter reports to reflect the most positive facts possible.

Be wary when the only good news you're hearing is along the lines of "we spent 50% less on proposal printing last month," or "client meetings cost 25% less last quarter." It may be uncomfortable to learn the long-term client cut her budget by half or fewer sales reps made it through to the bid phase of the sales cycle, but the sooner you find out, the sooner you can act to change those results.

It is difficult to manage or motivate others while one's head is in the sand. You risk losing your leadership role, whether formally or informally, by avoiding facts and discomfort. So, it seems keeping one's head in the sand is not the best option.

A head in the clouds keeps leaders from acting to change results too.

Lofty, impossible goals work against most leaders. People like to be set up for success and they resent being held to impossible goals. For example, when a sales team hits its numbers for one year, and the numbers are doubled for year two, there's little chance of hitting year two's numbers. The sales reps will be de-motivated because of the silly objectives. While it's wise to have higher objectives to challenges the sales team, goals set without explanation other than one's head is in the clouds rarely are achieved.

The best place for a leader's head is firmly on her shoulders. Be informed of the facts, use a reliable process for decision making, be open to changing what does not work, and focus on progress.

Leaders should not avoid the truth about revenue, budget changes, or profit projections. They also should not expect ridiculous results and use group renditions of Kumbaya to achieve them. Leaders should not lose their heads in a crisis, blame others for failures, or panic about the future.

Burying one's head in the sand or keeping it in the clouds rarely inspires others or motivates them to be productive, innovative, or collaborative. But, the worst place for a leader's head is "where the sun don't shine." Keep your head firmly on your shoulders and you will be a more effective leader than many around.

Does being a team-player matter any more?

Being a team-player used to mean you put the team first--ahead of personal needs or goals. If a teammate needed extra time in the gym, you went with him. If he needed to kick 50 extra field goals after practice, you shagged balls. If she needed to work on serves, you shagged volleyballs for her. It didn't matter if you had already worked out, were the highly touted quarterback, or already had your scholarship in hand and didn't need to work on serving. Teammates put the team first.

When today's NFL players score touchdowns, they flip, pump their chests, and point at themselves. Twenty years ago, players "acted like they'd been in the end zone before," to quote Lou Holtz. Players did not need the individual recognition because they played for the team.

What mattered was the final score of the game, not one play. What mattered was being there when a teammate needed you. What mattered was the team.

Sports teams and corporate project teams have much in common. Do today's teams share diminished appreciation of the team-player?

Do today's teammates put themselves ahead of the team?

There is a lot of finger-pointing going on among teams today. The pointers don't realize when one finger is pointed out, three more are pointing back. People are eager to hold others accountable--what a buzzword that is! The subconscious mindset seems to be, "Everyone else should just do their jobs! Do them really well so I can turn in a mediocre performance after watching Jersey Shore."

Mediocre team performance is accepted today because people know someone else will compensate for weak performers. Today, when a group hears the phrase, "There's no 'I' in 'team," nearly everyone in the room responds with, "But there is a ME!" The prevailing attitude is "me first."

Perhaps if more teammates were team-players instead of me-players, the teams would experience more success. Being a team-player matters to winning teams. It's the losers who don't get it.


[What do you think? Do today's teams prefer team-players or me-players? Share your thoughts.]

Who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

The Peanuts comic strip was in the news for turning sixty years old recently, which prompts the question: who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

For sixty years, Lucy has been pulling the football out from Charlie Brown as he runs to kick it. She gets him to fall for the trick every time. Once he falls for the trick and winds up on his backside, Lucy mocks him for doing so. She mocks him for trusting her, for thinking they are friends, for believing in her one more time.

We are supposed to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but isn't Lucy the more pitiful character?

Sure, Charlie Brown ends up on his backside, embarrassed.

But, Charlie Brown believes in people. He sees value and goodness in people, even when they don't deserve it.  He gives second chances. He roots for the underdog (or, under-tree--see the Christmas episode!). In the back of his mind, Charlie Brown must suspect that Lucy will disappoint him, but he continues to give her chances.

It is natural to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but perhaps it is Lucy we should pity instead.

Is it better to be someone who roots for the underdog and gives people chances or someone who takes advantage of others and mocks them?

Would you rather be the one taking advantage of others or the one who believes in others? Who do you think would make the better leader in the long-term? Who do you think would make the better coworker? Who do you think will have the better impact on others?

Lucy might be the one pulling the football out from under Charlie Brown, but is Charlie Brown pulling off the bigger trick? Would you rather be like Lucy or Charlie Brown?

Are you on the band wagon?

 The Kansas City Chiefs are 3 and 0! Three weeks in to the new season, and the Chiefs have won as many games as they won the entire 2009 season. Every Friday is Red Friday, and this year, red is everywhere.

By the end of last year, there was very little red wore to celebrate the team each week.

As a casual observer but not rabid fan of the Chiefs, I've noticed the Chiefs' band wagon is pretty well occupied during the down times. There are thousands of loyal Chiefs fans, as evidenced by the vitriolic sentiments expressed after last year's horrible season. I've also noticed the band wagon is over-flowing since the 2010 season is off to a great start.

I'm an avid Notre Dame football fan. We are having the opposite problem this year: people jumping off the band wagon. People are jumping off ND's band wagon so fast, there's a national shortage of crutches from all the ankle injuries resulting from their leaps.

The Chiefs are having a great season, they don't need more fans this year. If you weren't a fan last year, don't come along now for the glory. If you weren't buying game tickets when they were as cheap as a date with Paris Hilton, don't bemoan their high cost this year.

You have to be there for the heartbreak to celebrate.

If you're jumping off the ND band wagon this year, or you jumped off during the three previous coaches, stay off. If you're not there to shed tears of anguish over losing, don't come back with eyes welled up in tears of joy when the team is winning. Be there now, or stay away.

You have to earn your spot on the band wagon, whether we're talking about the Chiefs or Fighting Irish.

The same is true in life.

What band wagons are you on? Who are you loyal to? Who is on your band wagon? Who is loyal to you?
Are you more loyal than some people deserve or reciprocate? Is it time to get off some band wagons?

You earn spots on band wagons by being there for others when times are tough. It's easy to support someone when they are successful and life is going smoothly, but true loyalty is shown during the tough times.

It is not fun and glamorous to be there for someone whose business is struggling, or someone with cancer, or someone who was laid off. But, that's when you are needed most.

Jump on the band wagon during the losing seasons so you can enjoy the sweetness of winning seasons.

Go Chiefs!
Go Irish!

5 Things Kayne West Can Teach Us About Apologies

Have you ever embarrassed a coworker in front of others? Have you stolen someone's thunder? Have you stormed a stage during an awards ceremony because you thought someone else should have won?

Unless you're Kayne West, it's likely you answered "yes" to just two of those questions.

Mr. West stormed the stage during the VMAs last year when Taylor Swift was giving her acceptance speech for winning Best Female Video. He took the microphone from the stunned singer and proclaimed another artist should have won. The audience clapped in support of Ms. Swift once Mr. West exited the stage.

Mr. West was under a great deal of professional and personal pressure at the time of the awards ceremony.

Is being under pressure an excuse for stealing someone's moment?

Is being stressed an acceptable excuse for being rude?

No, it is not.

Although Mr. West spent the rest of the awards ceremony sulking, it did not take long for him to apologize. So far, he seems sincere in his apology and in his desire to make amends. He has taken positive steps that are worth learning from, including the following:

1. Apologize quickly. As soon as you realize you made a mistake, own it and apologize. Mr. West apologized within days of the incident, and he's repeated his apology throughout the year. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt to appear sincere.
2. Apologize to all affected by your error. Mr. West apologized to Ms. Swift, her family, friends, and fans. He also apologized to the awards show and to the other singer who was stunned to be mentioned in his rant.
3. Retreat. Mr. West admitted to being under pressure at the time, so he canceled a tour, stayed out of the public eye, and took care of his personal business. 
4. Be true to yourself. Mr. West points out that he was an impressive dresser with an unimpressive attitude. Being true to yourself, or genuine, contributes to the sincerity of an apology.
5. Make amends. Mr. West revealed yesterday that he had written a song for Ms. Swift. "I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won't take it then I'll perform it for her," West wrote. "She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows. She had no idea what hit her. She's just a lil girl with dreams like the rest of us." (SOURCE: www.RollingStone.com)

Mr. West's apologies have been straight-forward and specific. He has reached out to make amends and he seems sincere.

His actions are worth noting in a time when other celebrities, public figures, and corporations feign apologies.

The truth will be evident going forward. The 2010 VMAs are Sunday, so we'll all see what he does next.

Refrain from singing in the choir of complaints

Marshall Goldsmith shared a stat based on some of his recent research:

Employees spend 15 hours a month bad-mouthing upper management or listening to someone else bad-mouthing upper management.

And, the companies are paying them to do it! (Safe to assume those conversations are taking place during work hours, right?)

Sure, companies are struggling to survive and thrive past the recession right now, and, sure, upper management may have made mistakes with how they handled the recession. However, that does not mean it is acceptable to blast them behind their backs. It may be tempting to join the choir of complaints levied about Management, but resist for the greater good.

Whose greater good? Yours!
Management most often learns who says what. One of the "choir members" will be sashaying up to Exec Corner any minute to tattle on the group. You risk losing Management's trust, as well as trust from the rest of the choir. After all, everyone knows if you bad-mouth to them, you'll bad-mouth about them.

Keeping your opinions to yourself also helps the greater good of the organization. If the company and/or customer are not going to benefit by what you have to say, it would be wise to resist the urge to say it.

In fact, Goldsmith offers these 4 questions to consider prior to disclosing your opinions:

1. Is what you want to say going to help the company?
2. Is it going to help your customers?
3. Will it help the person you are speaking to?
4. Will it help the person you are speaking about?

If the answers are No, No, No, No, don't say it!

Resist the impulse to reveal every thought that enters your brain. Resist the impulse to comment, or agree, with others' negativity. Resist the urge to blast Management behind their back. Such resistance will keep you out of the choir, but it just may help you join a better, more influential, group.

Corporate social responsibility: obligation or luxury?

Today's Wall Street Journal includes an article titled "The Case Against Corporate Social Responsibility." The article, written in collaboration with MIT Sloan Management Review, posits that corporations server the greater good only when their profits increase as a result. When profits would decrease by serving the greater good, corporate social responsibility is overlooked.

One example sited in the article is fast-food company menu changes. More fast-food restaurants serve salad and healthy options today, a change seemingly caused by concern about wellness and health. The restaurants' profits from the healthy options sour. Does the financial windfall diminish the good? If profits were negatively impacted by offering healthy options, would the restaurants take them off the menu?

In another example, the article discusses pollution and auto manufacturing. Greatly reducing pollution at auto plants would be expensive, thus reducing profits. Since executives are hired to increase profits, solving the costly pollution problem is not pursued. Would it be in the company's best interest to let profit suffer for the sake of cleaner air?

Would diminished profits help or hurt the companies overall? How would it affect the country?

In addition to the financial impact of being socially responsible, there is the motivation behind the good deeds.

Should motive be considered when considering who you want to do business with or work for?

Is McDonald's less sincere in its social responsibility initiatives just because they benefit from them? Should they be punished or praised because of the changes they've made?

As you decide who to do business with, where to work, what products to buy, think carefully about corporate social responsibility. There is a case for it and a case against it. What's your bottom line?

Corporate social responsibility: obligation or luxury? Vote in the upper right corner of the blog.

(For the entire article: Wall Street Journal The Case Against Corporate Social Responsibility )

3 Ways to learn from "The Decision" and the aftermath of it

Unless you have been under a rock over the past 48 hours, you know last night was the announcement of The Decision. ESPN had its hype machines working double-time to promote and cover LeBron James's decision about where he will play basketball next year. There was theme music, special graphics, a pre-game show, and plenty of commercial breaks during The Decision show.

At approximately 8:30pm/central, the twenty-five-year-old basketball superstar announced his decision to depart his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. At approximately 8:32pm, jerseys were set afire in Cleveland and champagne bottles were popped in Miami.

As an infrequent follower of the NBA (the team left Kansas City in 1985) but a steadfast student of human behavior, the whole spectacle was captivating.

From the hype to the reactions, there are a few take-aways for leaders and employees:

#1 Money is not a primary motivator today.

James made it clear that he wants to win championships. He could have stayed where he was, in his hometown, earning millions of dollars, being loved and fawned over everywhere. But he wants to be on a championship-caliber team, and he feels that level exists in Miami and not Cleveland. People today, in all fields, levels, ages, want to be part of something greater than themselves. James wants to be on a championship-caliber team.

What do your employees and teammates want?

It's not about the money!

In light of the current economic environment, employers should be thrilled to know motivation goes deeper than money. Leaders need to face that and adapt to what motivates people today. (Read Dan Pink's new book, Drive, for the research to back this up.)

What are you doing to keep your James-caliber employees motivated?

#2 Loyalty is not a one-time occurrence but it is a two-way street.

Some former James fans are calling him disloyal for leaving Cleveland. Some are saying he let the city, fans, and team down and owed it to his hometown to stay. The team's owner called him a deserter and former hero. Does he owe it to them to stay with a team he does not think will win championships? Does he owe it to them to remain with a team he does not see positioning itself to win? Does he owe it to others to forgo his personal goal of winning championships?

No, he does not. And, neither do your employees or teammates.

If you got a job offer for your dream job, wouldn't you consider it? Of course. Or, would you pass on your dream job simply because your current employer hired you right out of college? There is more to loyalty than a one-time move.

Organizations need to earn loyalty all the time.

What are you doing to ensure that your superstars want to be on the team? Employers, team leaders, department managers, and teammates trusting the philosophy that those kept on during the recession will stay out of loyalty are likely to be setting themselves up for disappointment.

As for loyalty being a two-way street, employees need to earn loyalty all the time too. Perhaps if the team felt more loyalty to James, they would have better positioned themselves for championships.For some reason, the team did not open the wallets to retain the caliber of players needed to surround James and form a championship team. The team made its decision and James made his. No one knows how it will turn out, but both have to live with the results of their decisions.

Are you positioned to retain your best talent? Is your best talent positioning you to win championships in your industry? What needs to happen on a regular basis to ensure effective retention and reliance on your teammates?

#3 Childish emotional rants reinforce negative opinions.

Within an hour or two of the James announcement, the team owner published an open letter to the Cavaliers fans. In the letter (link: http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/news/gilbert_letter_100708.html), team owner Dan Gilbert wrote:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

Gilbert, the one person in a position of power to keep James in Cleveland, intimated that James is the following:

• Former hero
• Deserter
• Narcissistic
• Self-promoter
• Coward
• Betrayer
• Former "King"
• Shameful
• Selfish
• Disloyal
• Heartless
• Callous
• Cursed

There is a pencil-thin line between love and hate. But, before you print letters, publish proclamations, and promise results, get your emotions under control. Gilbert's letter reads like it was written by a nine-year-old sent to bed without dessert. 

Name-calling and false guarantees only reinforce the player's decision to leave. 

When someone leaves your team, how do you respond? Be careful. Others are watching and listening, and they know if you say it about a former teammate, you'd say it about them too.

In another part of the letter, Gilbert states he is even more motivated now that James is leaving. He says:

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

If it takes a teammate's departure to fire leaders up to win, then that says more about the leaders than the player--whatever the industry.

There are dozens of take-aways from the hype leading up the The Decision, to the event itself, and the reactions so far. If you ponder and implement based on the three discussed here, you will be a better leader and position your team for success better. And, you will do it without theme music, a television show, or hype. You can let your results speak for themselves.

In the meantime, Gilbert is slated to hold a press conference in about 30 minutes.It might be time to bury oneself under a rock for the next 48 hours.

3 Lessons to learn from others' poor judgment

Tony Hayward ought to be calling 1-800-FLOWERS to have a big bouquet sent to General McChrystal. The card should read,

"Dear Stan, Thanks for using judgment worse than my own and for getting me out of the news. Love, Tony." 

Hayward, of course, is the former BP executive in charge of the oil spill in its 65th day of ruining in the Gulf of Mexico. In the days leading up to the oil spill and immediately following it, Hayward's poor judgment included risking lives and livelihoods for the sake of a dollar, including deceased advisers in the plan to remedy the situation, botching oil containment, and most recently, enjoying a yacht race while eleven families mourned their loved ones who died in the blast which led to oil gushing in the Gulf.

What? A yacht race? Yes, Hayward made other more harmful lapses in judgment, but that one gives insight into just who Hayward is and who he thinks he is. BR replaced him this morning, which should give him insight into just who he is.

As for General McChrystal, the poor judgment that lands him on the front pages of news outlets an interview with Rolling Stone magazine in which he and his staff express dislike for President Obama and make fun of Vice President Biden. Being a non-military expert, I cannot speak to the General's judgment beyond this situation.

The General's apology (heck, at least he issued one, unlike his co-judgment-lapser Hayward) issued in a Pentagon statement said,

"I extend my sincerest apology for this profile. It was a mistake reflecting poor judgment and should never have happened," McChrystal said in a Pentagon statement. "Throughout my career, I have lived by the principles of personal honor and professional integrity. What is reflected in this article falls far short of that standard." (SOURCE: www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/06/23/general.mcchrystal.obama.apology/index.html?hpt=T1) 

BP replaced Hayward, and General McChrystal apologized. Shouldn't all be forgiven and the news return to the latest The Bachelor breakup, World Cup games, and Apple products?

Not so fast.

Since these highly accomplished professional men made such egregious errors, let's assume there are folks out there who need a refresher when it comes to errors in judgment.

Take these three rules to heart to avoid the effect of poor judgment in the future:

1. Your reputation will carry you only so far. You can claim to live by high standards, but your behavior indicates otherwise, it is your behavior upon which you will be judged. Do not expect different.
2. Mistakes can be forgiven and forgotten when genuine remorse and concern are shown, but do not excuse yourself by saying things like, "We're all human. Everyone makes mistakes." Statements like that undermine an apology. Plus, they just sound whiny and unprofessional.
3. Never publicly disparage your bosses, or their bosses, even in jest. If you have to be told not to do that in front of a journalist, then your judgment truly is pitiful. People will bridge the gap between "wow, he thought it was okay to say that to a journalist" and "he must be unfit to perform his duties." Expect consequences if you break Working Rule #1.

General McChrystal is meeting with President Obama to discuss his future this morning. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that room! Actually, it would be just as interesting to be a fly on the wall of the room when the General spoke with his staff about their unprofessional comments in the article.

If the General loses his job over the comments he and his staff made, perhaps they ought to be sending him flowers today.

How to Put Your Whole Self In #5

Put Your Curiosity In...

Notice how endearing it is when a three-year old asks, "Why?" a gazillion times? Even though it can be a little annoying at times, the curiosity is remarkable.

Imitate the child by asking, "Why?" and delving more to understand others better. Be curious and interested, and you'll be more interesting too.

Diane Sawyer, one of the book's all-in examples, says, "If there were rehab for curiosity, I'd be in it!" 

She strives to learn 30 things before breakfast. Way to go, Diane!

_____________________________________________________

From the new book available now: 

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way
Please click here for more information

Copyright 2010 Kelly A. Tyler

If you found $20k, what would you do?

An employee at a furniture liquidation business in Washington found $20,000 in the back of an old armoire. If you were he, what would you do?

A. Keep it and keep it a secret
B. Tell the store owners and split it with them
C. Find the original armoire owner and return the money

If you were the store owner, would you keep the money or would you find the armoire owner? If your employee turned in such a large sum, how would you respond to him?

Check back in 48 hours to see the end result of this true story...

---------------------
As you may have guessed, the store employee notified the store owners who identified the estate sale where the armoire was purchased. The $20k was returned to a very surprised family.

Way to go!

How to Put Your Whole Self In #4

Put Your Nose In...

When you smell smoke, you run out of the house. When you smell cookies baking, you run into the kitchen. When you smell Crazy Aunt Ida’s perfume, you hide.

Listen to your nose when it comes to daily decisions that affect your goals. If something “smells wrong,” it is wrong for you. Trust your instincts and follow them.

________________________________

From the new book: 

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way
Please click here for more information

Copyright 2010 Kelly A. Tyler

How to Put Your Whole Self In #3

Put Your Tears In...

Tears often well up in the eyes of people who feel happy or sad. Tears genuinely reflect deep emotion. How deeply are you tied to what you do each day--at home, work, church, school?If you have no tears to shed over the results, you might not be tied closely enough or might not be investing enough.

Go ahead, invest a bit more. 

_________________________________

Copyright 2010 Kelly A. Tyler

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way
Please click here for more information  

How to Put Your Whole Self In #2

Put Your Ears In...

Bodies are made with two ears and one mouth, so use them accordingly: listen twice as often as you speak. Pay attention to what others say, and do not say, so you can respond in the way most likely to achieve desired results. (Excerpt from the new book,  Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way.)

Sales people are notoriously bad at listening; although, many think they are good at it. If your process includes a pre-planned pitch to deliver at your first meeting or phone call, you are not listening.

A sales rep for a copier company called me at my home-office recently. His very first words to me were, "Are you the person in charge of purchasing equipment?" The next sentence was about how much money he could save me if I purchased a new copier machine from him. I explained my work and that the maintenance required for a machine in my home would not save me money. He argued that it would.

If only that example was rare. You've probably had similar experiences. If you are a sales person, or if you need to sell your coworkers on your ideas, do not emulate those poor role models.

Listen more than you speak and you will improve the results of interactions with others. And, that helps you be all-in.
____________________________________

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way

Please click here for more information

Leadership Run Amok at The Masters

The Masters Golf Tournament, America's most important golf tournament, began in Georgia today. As is customary, the Augusta National Chairman, Billy Payne, held a press conference kicking off the event.

After discussing the roles legends Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer will play at the opening, Mr. Payne used his annual press conference to publicly admonish Tiger Woods.

See for yourself:


(Video from www.Telegraph.co.uk)

As an observer and commentator about leadership, Mr. Payne's admonishment struck me for several reasons:

1. Piling On. Was it necessary for Tiger's immoral behavior to be spotlighted at this opening event? Did Mr. Payne think his was the lone voice the world needed to hear from on the subject? We get it. He failed in his personal life. If Mr. Payne felt the need to discuss Tiger at all, he could have discussed Tiger's return to golf. Mr. Payne is, after all the leader of a golf tournament, not the leading moral compass for America.
2. False Outrage. Did Mr. Payne express disappointment in Tiger's behavior prior to Tiger's fall from grace? His outrage appeared tardy and phony.
3. Misplaced Outrage. When is Mr. Payne's concern about how women and minorities are treated in golf in general and at Augusta specifically going to be expressed? When asked about this as the press conference, Mr. Payne said the club was private. He is more upset about the world's greatest golfer's private life than he is about supporting discriminatory membership of a private club. Mr. Payne feels it is acceptable to proclaim outrage over a golfer's private life but not over a club's.
4. Errant Expectations. "Our hero did not live up to the expectations as a role model we sought for our children." Mr. Payne said during the press conference. As others have said over the last five months, proclaiming an incredible golfer a "hero" is just silly. If Mr. Payne set Tiger up to be a "hero" for his children, it is his own fault the expectations were not met.

While he did go on to discuss other topics, Mr. Payne came across like an executive who couldn't wait to have his moment in the spotlight, rather than as a leader with the tournament top-of-mind. When leaders put ego ahead of purpose, they tarnish the purpose. Mr. Payne tarnished the prestigious tournament because he considers himself more important than the tournament. He is a leader run amok, and the tournament has barely begun.

How to Put Your Whole Self In #1

Put Your Brain In...

Knowledge is today's currency. Be the one with the most knowledge, and you'll be more valuable as organizations move forward.

____________________________________

Excerpt from the new book,  Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way.
Available for $9.95  
Click here for more information

If you lie, you are a liar

Q: When is it acceptable to lie on an expense report?
A: Choose one...
       A: When you are the CEO
       B. When you are in Sales
       C. When you are a new employee and can claim not to know better
       D. Never!

If you are over the age of three, the "D" answer should be the obvious choice. Apparently, even beyond age three, some people think they are the exception to the rule.

If you lie on an expense report, you are a liar. It does not matter if you are the CEO, top salesperson, or newest member of the team. Even if the lie goes uncovered, you know the truth and you know you lied.

Once the lie gets discovered, your reputation is ruined. We're talking about lies, not mistakes here. You can recover from an expense account mistake, but a lie, especially a pattern of lies, does irreparable, often career-ending,  harm.

For example, would you be embarrassed to learn an attorney called a fellow CEO in town to verify her attendance at a dinner you said you hosted? The attorney asked about a specific restaurant, date, time--there was no confusion about the occasion. But, the fellow CEO was not at that small dinner party. She was out of town. Now, the attorney knows you lied, the fellow CEO knows you lied, and anyone the CEO wants to tell knows too. Additionally, the people paying the attorney to investigate your expenses know you lied too.

Would it be worth it?

No matter what else you do, all of those involved--and many not involved but who find out--would know you are a liar.

Don't kid yourself, every interaction with them going forward would be tarnished by their lack of trust in you.

Don't kid yourself, some of those people would have suspected you were a liar for years.

Don't kid yourself, you would know you're a liar too.

Whether you are the CEO, top producer, or newest employee, lying makes you a liar.

Shiny Happy People Laugh all the Way to the Bank

REM knew what they were talking about in the song Shiny Happy People. They sing of happy people being loved by everyone around. They sing of putting happiness in your heart. They sing of gold and silver shining. Shiny happy people holding hands; shiny happy people laughing...



Shiny happy people laugh all the way to the bank!

Research has continuously shown that happy employees yield positive results. Research in 2001, 2004, and 2005 conducted by the American Behavioral Scientist, the University of Michigan, and the Psychological Bulletin all show that when employees are happy, their companies benefit. Benefits include increased profits, higher customer satisfaction ratings, lower absenteeism, and more creative problem solving. The happier employees benefit by missing work less and receiving high performance evaluations (thus, raises) more.

The research has been around for years, yet some company leaders considered it fluff in the past.

What has changed lately is companies are running out of ways to get more out of people. They have milked their cash cows (their people) dry, so to speak. And, employees are miserable because of it. Job satisfaction is declining, which leads to declining productivity as well. "Why give my all to a company who doesn't care about me?" is often asked by high caliber employees. Why, indeed?

The way out of the recession, the way to improved financial performance, the way to long-term survival and success is through the people. Showing more understanding and genuine concern for people is profitable. Show your people they have a reason to give their all. They won't do it so you can have a bigger raise, fancier home, or special car. If you don't know their reason, get help to figure it out.Your competitors are.

Shiny happy people laugh all the way to the bank because their bosses figured it out--people before profits. Take care of your people and profits will come. Then, you too can laugh all the way to the bank.

Good sportsmanship or soft competitor?

As the winningest player in Kansas University basketball history walked off the court of his final home game last night, the arena chanted and cheered their love for the team leader. Senior Sherron Collins said he didn't want the game to end. As he was leaving the court to an ovation from his home crowd, a player on the court for the opposing Kansas State team clapped along with the crowd.

Kansas State was losing by 20 points, so it was not a close game by the time the final thirty seconds ticked away. If you were still in the game, would you have cheered then or waiting to shake Collins's hand after the game? Does being on the floor matter?

Do you think the Kansas State player clapping showed good sportsmanship? Or, do you think the clapping showed weakness?

If you were the coach of the Kansas State player, what, if anything, would you say to him in the locker room after the game?

What are your thoughts: good sportsmanship or soft competitor?

The Arrogance of Poor Service

It's only Wednesday but two examples of poor service have been brought to my attention already this week. These are beyond the usual rude checkout clerks we've come to anticipate but are surprised are rare occasions not to encounter. Being top-notch companies who proclaim themselves as service providers, their lack of service comes across as arrogant to me. What do you think?

The first example is at a highly regarded vision center. For the second time in a row, the patient was kept waiting for more than 30 minutes without being spoken to. After 45 minutes and an inquiry to the front desk, the patient was taken to a room in the back for a routine blood pressure check. He was told the doctor would be "right in." But, the doctor did not come right in. After 30 more minutes, the patient opened the door, put on his coat, and began to leave. A nurse asked if he would like to reschedule. He did not. It has been more than 48 hours and no one from the doctor's office has been in touch with this long-time patient.

Is the doctor's time more valuable than the patient's?If two incidents are the norm, which they might not be, it appears that blatant disregard for patients' time is the culture of this organization.

Have we all come to expect less of people who disrespect our time?

The other example is from a contemporary museum. A couple met with the catering/event manager about hosting a 70-person event at the museum. The manager was told budget is no issue and she promised to send a proposal. It's been more than two weeks since the promise was made and none was sent. She has not followed up in any manner about the event.

Perhaps rather than being arrogant, the event manager is overly busy tending to all the events being held. From what I gather around town, however, there is event space to be had and most restaurants appreciate a 70-person booking with an unlimited budget. Apparently the contemporary museum is disinterested in such an event.

Does the disinterest, lack of follow-up, and broken promise indicate arrogance? If the manager thinks the customer is going to call up begging for a proposal, that's about as arrogant as it gets.

Poor service is disrespectful to customers and coworkers who rely on you to build the business. If your business is not enjoying and endless supply of profitable clients, as the two companies here clearly are, make sure service is impeccable. Start by making sure the people with direct contact with customers are not arrogant and work from there.

Speaking in Platitudes is Lazy, not Leadership

There is more to reaching goals and achieving success than visualizing dreams coming true. There is more to being confident than "fake it till you make it". There is more to overcoming obstacles than just putting one foot in front of the other. What if your feet are moving in the wrong direction, for example?

Speakers, authors, and Twitter posters who spew platitudes without insight or current research are lazy. So many people tweet quotes about achieving success, it's a wonder if they've ever had any at all.

Workplaces are full of framed posters depicting amazing feats illustrating a motivational thought. Meanwhile, managers are gossiping about each other, coworkers are backstabbing each other, and everyone is complaining about the weather. If the workplace leaders, whatever title they hold, do not behave in accordance with the values hung on the walls, the inconsistency is noticed and both poster and leader become a joke. A joke so prevalent, a whole company was created to mock the inconsistency by issuing de-motivational posters like the one shown. (www.despair.com)

Repeating inspiring words of others is not leadership. Doing so does not make people follow you. Well, except for in the twitterverse where it seems whoever googles the best quote du jour is considered the best leader to FFNow. (For the uninitiated, "FFNow" is a recommendation to "follow this person now", which is more important the a regular "follow".)

In real life, people expect words of wisdom to be congruent with actions. In real life, people notice when leaders "spew" instead of "do". In real life, people notice when eloquent quotations are more important than sincere salutations.

In real life, people see speaking in platitudes as lazy and phony. If you are a leader, remember to let your work and behavior speak for themselves more often than you let others' words speak for you. 

Wow! That Takes Guts!

When a teacher gets revenge against a bunch of practical-joke-playing students, he deserves the Wow! That Takes Guts Award!

High school teacher Mr. Joel Branstrom got the best revenge when students played a practical joke on him Friday--and it backfired.

Students told the Olathe Northwest science teacher and basketball coach he would win tickets to the NCAA Final Four game if he made a basket from half-court while blindfolded. What they didn't tell their teacher was the whole school was ready to cheer as if he made the shot, which would be impossible to make. Their cheers would lead him to believe he made the shot, only to find out it was all a joke played on their beloved teacher.

But, the joke was on the students instead!

Mr. Branstrom made the half-court shot blindfolded! Check out the video!





Mr. Branstrom's humility and love of basketball have earned him offers of tickets to the Final Four, which would be a terrific outcome for the teacher who was set up for a joke.

While making the impossible shot was stunning, Mr. Branstrom really gets the Wow! award for his humility during interviews after the event. He spoke of more important things going on in the world, while saying it's nice to have something to smile about. He did not jump around, point to himself, seek extra attention--like touchdown-scoring professional football players often do. He has been humble while enjoying his moment in the spotlight.

For turning a joke around on the students but especially for being fun, appreciative, and humble, Mr. Branstrom is this week's Wow! That Takes Guts! winner.

Does Relate-ability Lead to Ratings?

Have you been there? Have you been in Conan O'Brien's shoes? Minus the $40 million payout for leaving, can you relate to what's happened to him the last two weeks?

After seven months as the host of The Tonight Show, Conan was asked to give up his dream job so Jay Leno, who held it before him and performed very well, could have it back. 

Has something like that happened to you?

Have you ever been passed up for a promotion, even though you were the most qualified? Have you ever felt like your boss set you up to fail instead of succeed? Have you ever felt unappreciated or embarrassed by your organization?

I suspect many people can relate to Conan's situation and have tuned in to see how he'd handle it.

Since he's been expressing his dismay at the situation, people continue to tune in to his show. Just last Friday night, his ratings were 50% higher than a typical Friday and near the level of his biggest competitor, David Letterman. His ratings are up 80% in the highly desired young adult category.

Conan's ratings are soaring.

Is there a correlation between Conan's relate-ability and his show's ratings? Is there a correlation between how people feel about Leno and his show's performance? (I wonder why the network didn't realize a main reason Leno was successful at 10:30pm was because of convenience v. relate-ability, but that's a different article.) 

There is probably a correlation between relate-ability and performance in your office.

Keep your promises and set your people up for success, and you'll meet the minimum standard of relate-ability.

Are you a James Cameron or a Leonardo Dicaprio?

The Golden Globe Awards concluded last night with James Cameron's acceptance of the award for Best Picture of the Year. It also included Leonardo DiCaprio's reaction to the speech.

During his speech, Cameron told the Hollywood stars to give themselves a round of applause for having the greatest jobs in the world. Then, he told them to applaud themselves a second time for entertaining the world.

As if the awards shows are not self-aggrandizing enough, the award-winning director told everyone to applaud themselves even more!

During the brief speech, cameras turned to Leonardo DiCaprio, who put his hands down and did not applaud. The look of disbelief on his face was priceless, as if he were telling Cameron to get over himself.

Cameron seemed surprised at the lack of applause his instructions to applaud received. Very few people applauded either time.

Hollywood's in-crowd gets it. Nearly everyone else in the room understood how arrogant and untimely it was for Cameron to pat himself on the back and ask the same of Hollywood's elite.

Not all industries have awards like Hollywood does, but all have a few leaders with attitudes like Cameron's.  Unfortunately, the Camerons of the world don't recognize themselves. But, the people around them do.

Ponder for a moment: are you are more like Cameron or DiCaprio?

Think about how others respond to you. Make sure you're not the Cameron in your office. Make sure others are not thinking you need to get over yourself, the way Leonardo DiCaprio seemed to be thinking of Cameron last night.

Leaders Help Others. Period.

As many of you know, I have been a career transition coach for more than twenty years. Revenue for my business is generated elsewhere, as career coaching is something done on the side.

Last year, the tool I've used when coaching was made available using the "pay it forward" model. The tool, the Targeting & Tracking System (TTS), is free if you need it to be, but if you have $40 for drinks with your buddies, paying for the TTS is an option. Or, you could buy it for someone else and have it sent to them. All three options are cheerfully explained on the web site (http://bit.ly/5dyixj).

Last week, someone asked me about the pay it forward model. They could not believe the tool would be given away free to just anyone. There just had to be a catch, in her eyes.

"In today's economy, why would someone give away something so valuable?" she repeatedly asked.

A few reasons...

First, people have shared valuable tools with me over the years. They inspire me to want to do the same for others.

Second, helping those in need is what leaders do.

Leaders seek ways to help others be their best. Let's face it, being out of a job limits one's chances for performing at one's best. Leaders seek ways to share their expertise with people who need it. Leaders are not always selfishly out for a buck.

Leaders know when they can help, and they do it.

Here are a few more examples of top-notch leaders helping others:

1. A home builder in New York, John Doyle with Alure Homes, helped build several houses for ABC's Extreme Home Makeover. Sure, it's good promotion for the company, but it's also hours and materials given with a generous, kind intent for the new homeowners. Alure Homes recently was awarded 2009 Angies List "Super Customer Service Award" for the third straight year. You can't fake that kind of service.

2. Marian Madonia, an employee engagement expert, often consults briefly with people who heard her speak at conferences. She answers questions without telling them they have to contact her at the office, which implies they should expect an invoice. She helps because she can and they need it. Of course, if the matter is extensive, the client expects to pay and arrangements are made. But, she helps without asking about that first.

3. A successful KC realtor, Michael Maher with Realty Executives, gives away real estate buying and selling tips--even to other realtors. Free. He helps people because he is a leader and he can!

4. Chip Lewis, an Indiana attorney, answers legal questions without turning on a meter. He's not out to gouge people. He's out to help people.

There are examples of people helping others out of genuine kindness all over the place.

If you haven't done so lately, identify a skill you could share with those in need and how you could do it wisely (without risk to your current job). Leaders help people because they can. Leaders constantly seek ways to bring out the best in others.That's what they do. Period.

The New-Car Scent of a New Year

Ah, the fresh scent of a new year...sort of has the new-car smell, don't you think?

When we get a new car, we make promises like, "No one will ever eat in here." Or, "I will wash it every week." Or, "I will get all regular maintenance on time at exactly 2500 miles."

How long before jam-packed schedules require grabbing lunch while driving between appointments? How long before daily activities prevent weekly washings? How soon does that 2500 miles creep up each month or quarter?

While we love our new car upon its purchase, and continue to appreciate it while it serves us well, the initial promises most often get forgotten within a few months.

Is each new year like that too?

Do you make promises at the beginning of the year, only to have them forgotten by Valentine's Day? Why do we do that? Why are so many people hopeful January 1st and mad at themselves by March 1st?

Let's not do that in 2010. Let's do these 3 things instead:

1. Let's take each day at a time. Keep your promises today. When you awake tomorrow, ponder your promises for 3 minutes and decide to keep them tomorrow. Take each day one at a time. Doing so will build momentum which will make it easier and easier to keep your promises every day.

2. Let's also acknowledge the good things in our lives, just as we do when trading in our old car. We liked many things about that old car--the radio stations were set, the seat position was perfect, the "check engine" lights worked. We don't always hate the old car; we simply know it's time for a new one. Think of a new year like that: we don't have to hate the past year, just be ready to move on to the new one. Even with tough times faced in 2009, life was good. Make a list and bring the good into 2010.

3. Let's set ourselves up for success in 2010. When I bought a new car a few years ago, I liked the fresh scent, so I keep air fresheners in the glove compartment. Every few months, a new Christmas Cookie freshener hangs from one of the arms off the steering wheel (I'm not a big fan of things hanging from the rear-view mirror), so the fresh scent reminds me to keep the promises made when the car was new. What can you do today to make keeping your 2010 promises likely? There may be simple things to bring success closer. Look for them.

The new-car smell fades within a month or two, as does the excitement of a new year. Taking each day at a time, pondering the good, and setting yourself up for success will enable you to keep the new year hope and excitement going all year long. I promise.