Integrity and Generosity in the Heartland

Don worked as a dairy farmer for 20 years, and has spent the last 20 years working at a pigment plant in Indiana. He's worked hard, and, with his wife, Don paid his debts, saved money, raised three great children, and was six months away from retirement last Thursday.

Paul works at the same plant. He's 32, with three small children and a wife who works as a waitress. Paul has been at the plant three years; he's been promoted and demoted (because of shift changes, not performance); he's been doing the dirtiest job in the plant. Paul fills and loads 50-pound bags of iron oxide powder, which is orange and has the consistency of baby powder; so, he literally works the dirtiest job at the plant. Through all the changes, Paul built a reputation as a hard worker who never complained.

More changes were announced Thursday.

Ten employees had to be laid off Thursday, and Paul was one of them. Don, whose tenure and position put him closer to the top of the food chain than the bottom, was not on the list of those sent home. But, he was concerned for those who were laid off, especially Paul. Don could not sleep for thinking about the hard-working man who took as much overtime as possible to take care of his young family without a complaint.

Paul did not complain about the layoff. He did not burn bridges on his way out the door Thursday.

In fact, Paul came to work Friday's shift.

You see, there was no one left to load the bags of orange powder. Paul came in because he knew the job needed to get done or the powder would be wasted. Of course, the company paid him for the day, but many people would have been too bitter, angry, or upset to come in. The nine others did not come in, and some of them held the same position Paul held.

Thursday, Paul went home to tell his wife he had been laid off. Jobs are tough to come by in Indiana these days, so imagine how difficult that conversation was.

Don went home from work Thursday and spoke with his wife too.

Both men came to work Friday with plans.

Paul's plan was to work the shift so the company would not lose its product. Don's plan was a little different.

Don called Paul into his office around noon to tell Paul about the conversation he had with his own wife the night before.

Don told Paul that he volunteered for the layoff, so Paul could keep his job.

Six months before retirement, Don voluntarily left his job so Paul could keep his.

Paul wept upon learning he could keep his job, and through his tears expressed his gratitude. Paul looked Don straight in the eyes, shook his hand, and thanked him.

When Don was asked why he did such a thing, Don said he knew what it was like to be in that situation with a young family.

"I'd been there and never wanted to let another man feel like I had if I could help it."

Don could help it.

Upon hearing this story, Don's son, Greg, said he hopes to be half the man his father is. Greg is very proud of his father, and it's a safe bet Paul's family is proud of him too. If we could all be "half the man" Don is, and "half the man" Paul is, the integrity and generosity could spread from the heartland the way ripples from a pebble spread in the ocean.

When "Work Friends" Become "Real Friends"

When my career began, Emotional Intelligence was taboo. Actually, EQ had barely been invented and definitely was never talked about in management circles of corporations I worked in and with. In fact, an early mentor advised me to hide all emotions and live by the mantra: Die before cry!

I was lucky to have mentors early on and knew it. They became people to lean on when I was confused, curious, frustrated, or anxious--you know, emotional. People didn't show emotions at work back then, which also meant pretty shallow work relationships were the norm. If you had one or two "work friends," you were lucky. They were always called "work friends" and rarely were invited to intermingle with "real life friends."

Today's workplaces are different.

Today, EQ is emphasized all over the place! It's emphasized for leaders and managers, sales people, customer service associates--we're all encouraged to form relationships, genuine ones, with business associates now. It is clear now how employees benefit personally and how organizations benefit financially when EQ is high, so people are more open with "work friends" than in the past.

One of the best examples of such openness happened just this week.

One of my "work friends" is going through a tough time financially right now--heck, these days, she's hardly unique, right? While she's experienced the turbulent flow of emotions, she's doing pretty well in that regard now. What struck me in a recent coffee chat with her was not how open she was sharing her emotions with me, it was how open she was sharing them with several "work friends." She mentioned sharing her situation with ten or so others in the same committee we are on, and she described how generous each had been.

They were generous in ways not measured financially.

It would be too personal to divulge in this forum, but as she shared examples of the simple kindness shown by so many people, tears welled up in her eyes. And in mine.

I was stunned by so many "work friends" giving so compassionately of themselves, and not one had discussed it in the committee. Not one spoke even one word of her situation in a gossipy, derogatory manner. Many on the committee gave of themselves in a deeply personal, selfless, and loving way which never would have happened twenty years ago.

You see, when the organization is highly Emotionally Intelligent, as the committee we share is, genuine relationships really do form. When "work friends" become "real friends," magic happens.

Now That Takes Guts!

With a beaming smile on her face, Dana Maguire crossed the finish line of Kansas City's recent marathon in 1,560th place. There were 1,560 entrants. She was last.

As a friend told her, “Dead-last finish is better than did not finish, which greatly trumps did not start.”

What were you doing October 17, 2009 from 7am until 2pm? Dana may have been dead last, but others did not finish, and another 1.5 million Kansas Citians did not start.

Dana clocked in at 6 hours, 59 minutes and 14 seconds. She told a Kansas City Star reporter that during the race she doubted herself and cried but never considered quitting. She knew early on that she would be last, but she knew she could do it.

Dana found out what she's made of during the marathon. And, she has guts! For her beaming smile, perseverance, and ability to stare quitting in the face and not do it, Dana is this week's worthwhile Gut Check! Way to go, Dana!

(For the story in the Kansas City Star: http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/story/1524835.html)

Now That Takes Guts!

Sometimes having guts is stupid and gets unwanted attention, as it has this week for a USC football player.

The player is using finger gestures he wouldn't use to greet his grandma as fans from the opposing team take pictures before the game. The same player gave the same gestures throughout the game to the student section of the opposing fans. A teammate last year make a grossly offensive gesture behind a female sports reporter. A few years ago, a player from the same team was arrested for battery.

It takes guts to behave that way. It takes guts to allow a team culture in which such behavior happens often. Often. Not infrequently. Often.

The photo made its way around the internet, and since it did, the team's coach had to address the issue. The player said he learned his lesson after the coach spoke to the team:

"Just don't be stupid anymore," he said. "Everyone's always watching and
one little thing can be blown up." (SOURCE: Los Angeles Times)

One little thing?! Clearly, he missed the point. Or, perhaps the right point was not delivered by the coach in the first place.

When a USC band member spewed obscenities at an opposing player during the game, the band director admonished the band member directly and immediately. Meanwhile, the team's head coach seemed annoyed that his player got caught. Maybe he does not get the point either.

Is the point that one should not behave that way or that it is okay if you do not get caught? It takes guts to foster a culture in which the behavior is tolerated, perhaps even celebrated.

Some day that team is going to get caught for the culture it lives by. It will be interesting to see what they are made of when that happens.