The Worst on the Team

Back in college, I was on the varsity Track and Field team. The school, St. Mary's College (Notre Dame, IN), is a small all-girls Division III school which competes with other small schools in the Midwest.

During my time on the team, there was one athlete who attended every practice, competed in several events, and always had a positive attitude. She was not very good but made many friends on the team. She even became friends with athletes from other schools we competed against at meets.

Other athletes liked her because she was no threat to them. The best she ever did was earning a 4th Place ribbon in the shot put. There were five competitors, one had a sprained wrist that day.

Other athletes liked her so much, they frequently gave her advice, so she could improve. She'd absorb the advice, and was often given extra tries because people liked to see her improvements themselves. Even the judges liked her spirit and attitude.

The athlete knew she was not good at the events. She was not embarrassing, just not at the performance level of college athletics. She knew it, and she did them anyway.

She did not mind being the worst on the team because she knew she had different talents.

She went on the graduate from St. Mary's, earn an MBA, become one of the youngest senior marketing analysts in town and the youngest speaker hired by the AMA. She implemented a cutting-edge training plan in the advertising industry and produced record-setting and award-winning results with her clients.

I am that athlete.

I was the worst one on the team.

Shot, discus, javelin, and long jump are not my gifts. Luckily, I knew I had other gifts.

Young people today often are not given the opportunity to figure out their gifts. With all the rules of everyone makes the team, plays the same amount of time, gets the same trophy, young people today do not learn that it is okay to be bad at something. It is okay for someone else to win, get a better trophy, celebrate victory.

In shielding kids from being the worst, parents, coaches, schools today are also preventing them from finding out what they are the best at. In over-protecting their kids from the brief moment of disappointment which comes when being cut from a team, parents are preventing their kids from knowing the feeling of triumph.

Triumph over adversity is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I hope all kids get to experience it, so they can also experience the joy and pride of knowing they have a different gift.

Allow others to triumph. It will work out okay for them if they are the worst on the team. Take it from someone who knows.

She's not just a Pretty Face

You recognize Susan Boyle, from Britain's Got Talent, right? Her first performance on the show April 11, 2009 propelled the singer to worldwide stardom, and the video of the performance is the most watched video in You Tube history.

When watching the video from start to finish, one can take away a few lessons from Susan's experience.

The most obvious lesson in Susan's experience on the show is, of course, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Susan does not look like a superstar with a powerful voice. She looked fine for a woman in a tiny village in Scotland, but she did not look like a star. In fact, the audience laughed at her when she came on stage, and the judges sneered when she said she wanted a career like Elaine Page's. A minute later, the audience and judges were laughing at themselves and knew she had taught them a lesson about judging others.

In spite of how she was greeted upon entering the stage, Susan Boyle remained confident in herself. She may have been a little nervous in the spotlight, but clearly she retained her self-confidence. A second lesson for us all: Don't let someone else, even millions of them, break your spirit. You have a special gift, just as Susan does. When you know what it is, do not let anyone else steal it from you or diminish it in your own eyes. Susan was able to share her talent because she knew she had it inside. Do the same.

One of the most powerful lessons of this experience came during the judges' comments.

Cameras show the three judges smiling and happy for Susan throughout her performance. The first judge gushed all over the place when it was his turn to comment. It was the second judge, Amanda Holden, who had the most startling comment of all and taught the most important lesson of the performance.

Amanda spoke about the crowd being against Susan at first but being privileged to hear the performance. She said, "It was a privilege to listen to you." Wow, there's a lesson for us!

What if we all felt privileged to share each other's strengths? What if we all look beyond our initial judgements of others and look for their gifts instead? What if we all seek goodness in others? What would happen to our relationships? workplaces? homes? schools? country?

See beyond the outside, the obvious first lesson Susan taught us, but not just to tolerate others but to feel privileged to know them. That lesson is more challenging yet also more life-altering.

Susan Boyle is not just a pretty face, and neither is Amanda Holden. Both taught the world important lessons. Let's not miss them.

Ashton Won!

In the war between one man and the "establishment," Ashton Kutcher became the first twitter user to reach one million followers.

To the surprise of many, the real purpose of this competition extended beyond the ego of a movie star. It's about having a voice in the media. We create it and report it, and as Ashton said, "We can change media forever!"

About 8 hours ago, CNN used its television anchors and tickers to encourage people to follow it over Ashton. Ashton used the internet. It came down to the wire. And, Ashton won.

In the meantime, I lost 2 followers.

Ashton Kutcher v. CNN v. Kelly Tyler

Within the next few hours, movie star and producer Ashton Kutcher or CNN will become the first tweeter to reach 1,000,000 followers. As of this moment, I have 119 followers. Okay, so I'm not really in the competition with the big boys of twitter.

It's been only a month since I joined the tweople on twitter. "Tweople," that's what they call "people" over there. Here's what I've learned so far, just in case it would help those thinking of joining:

1. There's a whole new abbreviated language to learn. Luckily, my teenage niece and nephew have taught me a few things through their texts, but there's more to learn on twitter.


2. The ability to write complete thoughts in 140 characters is not possible for everyone but is a wonderful talent to master.


3. There are a gazillion SEO marketers out there, and they will follow you, hoping you follow them too. They measure value in terms of # of followers.


4. Don't pat yourself on the back too quickly when people follow you. Some are doing so only to sell you something, shocking as it is.
   
5. If you do not follow everyone who follows you, some of them will stop following you. Don't let that hurt your feelings.


6. You can find anything on twitter--newscasters, comics, coffee enthusiasts, chefs, shoe enthusiasts--anything!


7. Since you can find anything there, twitter also can become time consuming. Limit the number of times and minutes you twitter during the day.


8. If twitter bores you, follow more interesting people.

Twitter is all over the place lately. It's the talk of the country, especially with the Ashton versus CNN contest and the rumors of a Google buyout. Some people love it and others balk at the whole concept. I'm still undecided but definitely see some benefit to it. The twitter bashers probably need to see how it is evolving. If you're a basher, take another look. If you haven't looked yet, get over there. (http://www.twitter.com/) Be in the know, at least.

Unlike Ashton and CNN, I am not on a quest to have the most followers. I am fine with 119--oh, 121 now--followers who really want to be in touch with me. If that includes you, you'll find me there at: http://twitter.com/KellyTyler I like the idea of a little cluster of like-minded people being linked via twitter. Oh, wait, linked? Linked In, that's a different story!

By the way, my vote is for Ashton because it was his use which propelled twitter to the center of attention in the US. Plus, I get CNN updates from their web site already. If you'd like to follow Ashton, here's his link: http://twitter.com/aplusk

It's a tight race to the million! Only 999,879 more to go!

All Clients Return

One thing I learned from working at TargetCom, a boutique direct response agency in Chicago (with the most cleverly creative people I've ever met), is to be patient with prospects and clients. TargetCom as a whole felt certain every prospect would work with them eventually and all clients who leave will return.

And, for the most part, they have been right.

Their service was so thorough and their creative work so right on, clients returned. And, so did prospects. Nora Ligurotis, TargetCom's CEO, used to tell me to expect clients to leave and be prepared to welcome them upon their return.

I thought of Nora this week when corresponding with a partner in an engineering firm. He said he was not in the market for training right now but wondered if he could ask me a few questions about it. Sales experts would likely tell me not to waste much time with him until he is ready to buy. I choose a different approach, and suspect Nora and her TargetCom folks would do the same. I eagerly continued the correspondence and encouraged the partner to be in touch.

You see, he may not be ready to write a check today, but when he is, he will feel good about it. He will have had time to get to know me and feel happy to trust me with his people. He will become an ideal client because he is doing so on his terms. While it may take some time upfront, the investment is worth it. Plus, the partner and his firm are interesting and my interest in them is genuine.

When clients are welcomed on their terms, they will return. Be patient.

Bring Your A Game or You Might be Traded

Someone on LinkedIn asked today if those of us in the Executive Group thought companies are using the economy as an excuse to rid themselves of highly paid employees. The consensus of more than 40 responses is: Yes.

I was one of only a few dissenters.

First, according to statistics published nearly daily, many of those laid off are not in the "highly paid" category; therefore, getting rid of high salaries does not seem to be a primary goal.

Second, if the highly paid employees are carrying their weight, they are most often retained.

Third, in my opinion, companies are using the economy as an excuse to rid themselves of "dead weight" without feeling guilty about it.

Identifying who is on the chopping block is agonizing for most involved with such decisions. The decisions are based on current performance and expected future performance. If current performance is weak, a layoff is more likely. If one's skills are not seen as likely to propel the organization to meet future goals, a layoff is more likely.

So, it's not just salary, it is performance- and skill-based.

If you do not make yourself needed, you could be part of a layoff conversation.

As employees adapt to workplaces without their friends, they need to bring their A games to work every day or risk joining their buddies in job searches. But, instead of bringing A games, some employees play games.

Some employees are bitter, resentful, and just biding their time until it's their turn to go. Biding one's time is not very motivational to most people, and it is visible to upper management. It is easy to spot the resentful people with bad attitudes, and those folks put themselves at risk for being laid off. Performing the bare minimum to get by will likely lead to getting a bye-bye.

Of course, many, many great people are let go through no fault of their own. They brought their A games to work every day and still were let go. Those folks might be in luck.

Marshall Goldsmith, the renowned management and leadership guru, told a small group of us just last week that he sees this as a time companies are "trading up." The superstars are landing gigs better than those they left. If you are a superstar, you'll land on your feet. If you are not a superstar, you might find yourself being traded to another team.