5 Things Kayne West Can Teach Us About Apologies

Have you ever embarrassed a coworker in front of others? Have you stolen someone's thunder? Have you stormed a stage during an awards ceremony because you thought someone else should have won?

Unless you're Kayne West, it's likely you answered "yes" to just two of those questions.

Mr. West stormed the stage during the VMAs last year when Taylor Swift was giving her acceptance speech for winning Best Female Video. He took the microphone from the stunned singer and proclaimed another artist should have won. The audience clapped in support of Ms. Swift once Mr. West exited the stage.

Mr. West was under a great deal of professional and personal pressure at the time of the awards ceremony.

Is being under pressure an excuse for stealing someone's moment?

Is being stressed an acceptable excuse for being rude?

No, it is not.

Although Mr. West spent the rest of the awards ceremony sulking, it did not take long for him to apologize. So far, he seems sincere in his apology and in his desire to make amends. He has taken positive steps that are worth learning from, including the following:

1. Apologize quickly. As soon as you realize you made a mistake, own it and apologize. Mr. West apologized within days of the incident, and he's repeated his apology throughout the year. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt to appear sincere.
2. Apologize to all affected by your error. Mr. West apologized to Ms. Swift, her family, friends, and fans. He also apologized to the awards show and to the other singer who was stunned to be mentioned in his rant.
3. Retreat. Mr. West admitted to being under pressure at the time, so he canceled a tour, stayed out of the public eye, and took care of his personal business. 
4. Be true to yourself. Mr. West points out that he was an impressive dresser with an unimpressive attitude. Being true to yourself, or genuine, contributes to the sincerity of an apology.
5. Make amends. Mr. West revealed yesterday that he had written a song for Ms. Swift. "I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won't take it then I'll perform it for her," West wrote. "She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows. She had no idea what hit her. She's just a lil girl with dreams like the rest of us." (SOURCE: www.RollingStone.com)

Mr. West's apologies have been straight-forward and specific. He has reached out to make amends and he seems sincere.

His actions are worth noting in a time when other celebrities, public figures, and corporations feign apologies.

The truth will be evident going forward. The 2010 VMAs are Sunday, so we'll all see what he does next.

Refrain from singing in the choir of complaints

Marshall Goldsmith shared a stat based on some of his recent research:

Employees spend 15 hours a month bad-mouthing upper management or listening to someone else bad-mouthing upper management.

And, the companies are paying them to do it! (Safe to assume those conversations are taking place during work hours, right?)

Sure, companies are struggling to survive and thrive past the recession right now, and, sure, upper management may have made mistakes with how they handled the recession. However, that does not mean it is acceptable to blast them behind their backs. It may be tempting to join the choir of complaints levied about Management, but resist for the greater good.

Whose greater good? Yours!
Management most often learns who says what. One of the "choir members" will be sashaying up to Exec Corner any minute to tattle on the group. You risk losing Management's trust, as well as trust from the rest of the choir. After all, everyone knows if you bad-mouth to them, you'll bad-mouth about them.

Keeping your opinions to yourself also helps the greater good of the organization. If the company and/or customer are not going to benefit by what you have to say, it would be wise to resist the urge to say it.

In fact, Goldsmith offers these 4 questions to consider prior to disclosing your opinions:

1. Is what you want to say going to help the company?
2. Is it going to help your customers?
3. Will it help the person you are speaking to?
4. Will it help the person you are speaking about?

If the answers are No, No, No, No, don't say it!

Resist the impulse to reveal every thought that enters your brain. Resist the impulse to comment, or agree, with others' negativity. Resist the urge to blast Management behind their back. Such resistance will keep you out of the choir, but it just may help you join a better, more influential, group.

Corporate social responsibility: obligation or luxury?

Today's Wall Street Journal includes an article titled "The Case Against Corporate Social Responsibility." The article, written in collaboration with MIT Sloan Management Review, posits that corporations server the greater good only when their profits increase as a result. When profits would decrease by serving the greater good, corporate social responsibility is overlooked.

One example sited in the article is fast-food company menu changes. More fast-food restaurants serve salad and healthy options today, a change seemingly caused by concern about wellness and health. The restaurants' profits from the healthy options sour. Does the financial windfall diminish the good? If profits were negatively impacted by offering healthy options, would the restaurants take them off the menu?

In another example, the article discusses pollution and auto manufacturing. Greatly reducing pollution at auto plants would be expensive, thus reducing profits. Since executives are hired to increase profits, solving the costly pollution problem is not pursued. Would it be in the company's best interest to let profit suffer for the sake of cleaner air?

Would diminished profits help or hurt the companies overall? How would it affect the country?

In addition to the financial impact of being socially responsible, there is the motivation behind the good deeds.

Should motive be considered when considering who you want to do business with or work for?

Is McDonald's less sincere in its social responsibility initiatives just because they benefit from them? Should they be punished or praised because of the changes they've made?

As you decide who to do business with, where to work, what products to buy, think carefully about corporate social responsibility. There is a case for it and a case against it. What's your bottom line?

Corporate social responsibility: obligation or luxury? Vote in the upper right corner of the blog.

(For the entire article: Wall Street Journal The Case Against Corporate Social Responsibility )

3 Ways to learn from "The Decision" and the aftermath of it

Unless you have been under a rock over the past 48 hours, you know last night was the announcement of The Decision. ESPN had its hype machines working double-time to promote and cover LeBron James's decision about where he will play basketball next year. There was theme music, special graphics, a pre-game show, and plenty of commercial breaks during The Decision show.

At approximately 8:30pm/central, the twenty-five-year-old basketball superstar announced his decision to depart his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. At approximately 8:32pm, jerseys were set afire in Cleveland and champagne bottles were popped in Miami.

As an infrequent follower of the NBA (the team left Kansas City in 1985) but a steadfast student of human behavior, the whole spectacle was captivating.

From the hype to the reactions, there are a few take-aways for leaders and employees:

#1 Money is not a primary motivator today.

James made it clear that he wants to win championships. He could have stayed where he was, in his hometown, earning millions of dollars, being loved and fawned over everywhere. But he wants to be on a championship-caliber team, and he feels that level exists in Miami and not Cleveland. People today, in all fields, levels, ages, want to be part of something greater than themselves. James wants to be on a championship-caliber team.

What do your employees and teammates want?

It's not about the money!

In light of the current economic environment, employers should be thrilled to know motivation goes deeper than money. Leaders need to face that and adapt to what motivates people today. (Read Dan Pink's new book, Drive, for the research to back this up.)

What are you doing to keep your James-caliber employees motivated?

#2 Loyalty is not a one-time occurrence but it is a two-way street.

Some former James fans are calling him disloyal for leaving Cleveland. Some are saying he let the city, fans, and team down and owed it to his hometown to stay. The team's owner called him a deserter and former hero. Does he owe it to them to stay with a team he does not think will win championships? Does he owe it to them to remain with a team he does not see positioning itself to win? Does he owe it to others to forgo his personal goal of winning championships?

No, he does not. And, neither do your employees or teammates.

If you got a job offer for your dream job, wouldn't you consider it? Of course. Or, would you pass on your dream job simply because your current employer hired you right out of college? There is more to loyalty than a one-time move.

Organizations need to earn loyalty all the time.

What are you doing to ensure that your superstars want to be on the team? Employers, team leaders, department managers, and teammates trusting the philosophy that those kept on during the recession will stay out of loyalty are likely to be setting themselves up for disappointment.

As for loyalty being a two-way street, employees need to earn loyalty all the time too. Perhaps if the team felt more loyalty to James, they would have better positioned themselves for championships.For some reason, the team did not open the wallets to retain the caliber of players needed to surround James and form a championship team. The team made its decision and James made his. No one knows how it will turn out, but both have to live with the results of their decisions.

Are you positioned to retain your best talent? Is your best talent positioning you to win championships in your industry? What needs to happen on a regular basis to ensure effective retention and reliance on your teammates?

#3 Childish emotional rants reinforce negative opinions.

Within an hour or two of the James announcement, the team owner published an open letter to the Cavaliers fans. In the letter (link: http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/news/gilbert_letter_100708.html), team owner Dan Gilbert wrote:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

Gilbert, the one person in a position of power to keep James in Cleveland, intimated that James is the following:

• Former hero
• Deserter
• Narcissistic
• Self-promoter
• Coward
• Betrayer
• Former "King"
• Shameful
• Selfish
• Disloyal
• Heartless
• Callous
• Cursed

There is a pencil-thin line between love and hate. But, before you print letters, publish proclamations, and promise results, get your emotions under control. Gilbert's letter reads like it was written by a nine-year-old sent to bed without dessert. 

Name-calling and false guarantees only reinforce the player's decision to leave. 

When someone leaves your team, how do you respond? Be careful. Others are watching and listening, and they know if you say it about a former teammate, you'd say it about them too.

In another part of the letter, Gilbert states he is even more motivated now that James is leaving. He says:

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

If it takes a teammate's departure to fire leaders up to win, then that says more about the leaders than the player--whatever the industry.

There are dozens of take-aways from the hype leading up the The Decision, to the event itself, and the reactions so far. If you ponder and implement based on the three discussed here, you will be a better leader and position your team for success better. And, you will do it without theme music, a television show, or hype. You can let your results speak for themselves.

In the meantime, Gilbert is slated to hold a press conference in about 30 minutes.It might be time to bury oneself under a rock for the next 48 hours.