Workplace Wisdom

Talent > Flash at the Grammys and in Workplaces

2012-02-14T16:35:00.000-06:00

Talent is more important than flash. That was one of the messages delivered loud and clear at this year's Grammy Awards.

It was delivered by six-time winner Adele, who wore a simple black dress as she accepted three awards in which Lady Gaga was a competitor. Lady Gaga wore a dominatrix costume and carried a scepter. Adele was queen of the night and wore a simple black dress. Talent won over flash.

A second example was Foo Fighters front man Dave Grohl, who said the following when speaking on behalf of the band who won for Best Rock Album: “For me this award means a lot because it shows that the human element of making rock is the most important. Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument and learning your craft is the most important thing for people to do...It’s not about what goes on in a computer. It’s about what goes on in (your heart) and what goes on in (your head.)” It is not about a computer altering your voice so it sounds perfect, it is about having enough talent without the voice needing alterations. Talent wins over computer-generated perfection.

A third example is the singer who wore a red devilish cape while walking the red carpet with a fake "pope". Putting aside how offensive that is to Catholics, the fact is, she was a joke. No one talked about her the next day as cutting-edge or a great artist. The same person performed, and her performance was considered droll. Obviously, she set out to be the most flamboyant person at the Grammys and to steal the show. But, no one was talking about her the next day. In fact, no one will be talking about her in a year or two, unless she becomes a criminal of some kind. The next day, that singer was a barely mentioned joke, while Adele was celebrated for her voice. Adele's performance won rave reviews.

Talent wins again.

In the workplace, it can be tempting to put on airs, but, remember, talent is more important. Walk is more important than talk in workplaces today.

You can carry a proverbial scepter around the office and act like you are more important than everyone else, but if you have real talent, you won't need to. You won't need to put others down, copy someone else's act, or ride someone else's coattails. Work hard, work smart, and work well with others, and your talent will enable you to rise above the flashier people who simply talk about work. Talent wins over flash in the long run. As you build your reputation, keep Adele in mind. She didn't carry a scepter, attempt to offend millions of people, or fake her way to the top. When you are truly talented, you won't need to either.

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UPDATE 2/15/12

The singer described in the third example above was on one of the morning shows today. She was on the show to promote a charitable campaign of some kind (I didn't get the name of it), and she was friendly, well-spoken, and informed about the issue. She also was very sweet to a young singer who was on the show after her segment. She made me wish she had not made a joke of herself at the Grammys because she has a perspective worth sharing but ruined her chances (with some people, not all) by making her talent secondary.

Now, this question: when people resort to flash over talent (fluff over stuff), is that a form of self-sabotage? What do you think?

Teleflora shows what it thinks of women and it's not good

2012-02-06T15:01:00.000-06:00

The New England Patriots receiversmay have dropped some passes in last night’s Super Bowl, but the worst offenseof the Super Bowl was Teleflora. In their television commercial, the floristblatantly implied that men who give a $70 vase of flowers will be repaid withsex.

Pundits are using that ad, alongwith a few others, to prove the old adage that sex sells. Other ads showedscantily clad women and one showed nearly all of David Beckham. Those ads aresaying, “You can look sexy by wearing/driving/using this.” That is muchdifferent than what Teleflora’s ad said.

The florist’s ad said, “If you givethis to your woman, she will have sex with you.” Said another way: for a$70 bouquet, women will have sex.

Clearly, the florist thinks womenare prostitutes. For a cheap $70 bouquet?!

I have three issues with the ad.

First, Teleflora is insultingwomen. Teleflora is telling men to send a vase of flowers that says, "I'mpaying $70 for you to get naked." What self-respecting woman would fallfor that cheap gimmick? Ladies, how impressed will you be if your man'sValentine's flowers are from that company?

Teleflora thinks women have lowexpectations, low morals, and low standards. Contrary to what that companythinks, women do not want flowers that say, "Get naked for this cheapbouquet."

Second, the company is insultingmen. Most men are not so stupid to send an overt demand of sex to a woman theycare about. While men may have thought the model and ad were sexy (heck, womenprobably thought so too), smart ones will know they would be sending the wrongmessage if that gaudy red vase were delivered to a woman who saw that ad.

Third, I wonder how the companytreats its female employees. It is obvious that the company does not hold womenin high regard. How does that show up in department meetings? How do malemanagers speak to women there? Are women compelled to downplay theirintelligence to get by in an antiquated culture? What were the meetings withthe ad agency like—did the good old boys who revere the agency in Mad Men listento any real women in 2012?

I say women should make sure that oldsex sells adage is proven UN-true!

Ladies, tell your men you do notwant flowers from that company. Men, you know your woman better than theflorist does—if you know her expectations, morals, and standards are high,don't send her a cheap, gaudy vase that sends the message you think she ischeap and gaudy.

Don’t let the florist ruin your messageby sending the wrong one on Valentine’s Day.

What do you think?
Leave a comment or answer the survey question above.

Paterno's greatest lesson

2012-01-22T19:29:00.000-06:00

Penn State's head football coach Joe Paterno died today. He died just two months since the revelation that he did not prevent a child molester, one of his assistant coaches, from abusing young boys on the part of the campus he was responsible for the last 45+ years.

Paterno was fired in disgrace after reports came out about him ignoring witness reports of sexually abusive behavior taking place in the football team's locker room. Paterno himself admitted to not doing enough to prevent further abuse. The university fired him and severed all media and marketing ties with him. Some are saying he died of a broken heart after being so humiliated by the disgrace of his firing from his beloved university.

Since the child molestation crimes of Penn State's former assistant coach and Paterno's knowledge and acceptance of the molestation have become public knowledge, millions of people are angry at Paterno, but he still has some supporters. There are some people who have said today that "we should let the man rest in peace." Others have said they "will show Paterno the kind of peace he showed the children victimized on his watch: none!"

Within the Penn State family, Paterno was treated as a saint and revered as a man of remarkable character. Outside of Penn State, however, stories about his poor character, rudely offensive behavior, and lack of discipline among his teams are common, if not well known. Paterno's reputation within Penn State and outside of it have always been very different. The difference is even more evident since his lack of action to prevent child molestation became public.

In November, just after the assistant coach was arrested, I blogged about Paterno and others being true to who they are. (blog post) I wrote: Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well. You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.

Now that Paterno has died, I wonder if he ever saw himself for who he really was.

I wonder what went through Paterno's mind during the last few hours of consciousness of his life. I wonder if he prayed and sought forgiveness for allowing the abuse to continue for so many years. I wonder if he hoped his legacy would be the good things he did during his life instead of the revelations of the last two months. I wonder if he was mad at Penn State for severing ties, thinking he didn't deserve it. I wonder if he was at peace with the legacy he leaves behind.

The lesson we can all take from Paterno's death and the recent months is that we should live so the answer about our legacy is clear. And, is desirable.

Whether we're thinking about the legacy of our lives or our departures from our jobs, volunteer leadership positions, or social events, we should live deliberately so there is no doubt about our legacy.

What do you want people to say about you after you leave your current company? Or, department, neighborhood, school, client, networking group, association chapter, or church? If you do not want people cheering your departure, choose your actions accordingly. If you do want people to miss you, remember you fondly, and appreciate your work, choose your actions accordingly.

So, whether you are on a big stage like Paterno was, people in your life will remember you one way or another.

You decide.

Speakers: we've got to do better!

2012-01-15T21:30:00.000-06:00

Some young business colleagues posted this video with the caption "this is why we all hate speakers!" Oh, sure, a few bad lecturers give all speakers a bad name. The only way to change that reputation is by being interesting and impactful--not like this video!

What do you think: are the thoughts conveyed here realistic or way off base?

Papa John's culture of crass

2012-01-10T23:08:00.001-06:00

Have you seen this Papa John's receipt posted by a customer last weekend?

Note the third line from the bottom where next to "Name" an employee entered "lady chinky eyes". The customer tweeted the picture of her receipt along with "Hey @PapaJohns just FYI my name isn't "lady chinky eyes".

The receipt is from Friday (January 6th), it was tweeted Saturday, and Sunday Papa John's issued an apology on its Facebook page.

"This act goes against our company values, and we've confirmed with the franchisee that this matter was addressed immediately and that the employee is being terminated," the pizza company said on its Facebook page. "We are truly sorry for this customer's experience."

Hey @PapaJohns, firing someone does not address the matter.

Why would an employee think that description was acceptable?

Clearly there is a culture at Papa John's that enabled that employee to think it was acceptable to post such a crass description of the customer.

Do you think that was the only time such a description was used? And, do you think there was just one employee in the entire Papa John's organization speaking about people that way? Do you think firing that employee means the culture is fixed?

I do not. Firing someone does not align the culture with their values.

I'd like to know what Papa John's is doing, if anything, beyond firing someone. Are they doing anything to retrain customer service people? If so, is the training anything beyond admonishments such as, "Do not type physical descriptions on receipts"? The culture issue extends beyond what the employee typed on the receipt. Hopefully, Papa John's knows that and takes steps to fix it.

What do you think: did Papa John's do enough to address the matter by firing the employee?

3 ways to avoid success

2011-12-19T19:06:00.001-06:00

How can you tell if someone wants to be successful? Perhaps they arrive at the office earlier than others, tackle challenging work, or propose innovative ideas toward progress. There are some obvious signs of success.

How can you tell if someone is a failure? Perhaps they sleep in until 8am, passively market their ideas, or do not have any ideas. There are some obvious signs of failure. There are some less obvious signs too, and three are listed below.

Three routes to avoid success and find failure:

Coattail Riding: Success does not come to those who ride the coattails of others. If you do not work hard yourself, you will not experience the same level of success as others, even if a little of their light shines on you.
Copying: Success does not come to copycats. Be original. Have something new to say. If you do not work hard to be a leader in your field of expertise, you will not be an expert. Reading someone else's work can be helpful and interesting, but copying it as your own will not make you successful.
Crying: There's no crying over errors. Successful people keep moving forward, as it says in Put Your Whole Self In! Crying, wallowing, and whining are guaranteed routes to failure.

Those three routes to failure seem like they would be obvious too. Yet, many people ride coattails, copy, and cry rather than do the work required to be at the top of the heap.

Success: do you really want it?

2011-12-15T12:59:00.000-06:00

Everyone says they want to be successful, but few do the work required to achieve success. Everyone wants to be at the top of their field, but few do the work required to get there. Everyone wants to be extraordinary, but few do the little extra to go from ordinary to extraordinary.

I refuse to believe we are here to be ordinary. There is more in store for those who do the work, pay attention, and give more. If success came easy, everyone would have it. It takes hard work, perseverance, knowledge. It also takes less sleep, as mentioned in the video below. Clearly, few high school athletes prepare and practice like the young man in the video. On a business level, few managers do the equivalent in their fields. But, you can.

If you really want success, if you are All-In, success is there for the taking. Go get it.

Top Twelve Twitter Tactics

2011-12-05T20:11:00.000-06:00

Twitter is a social media tool that enables users to post updates 140-characters at a time. It began in the summer of 2005 and has grown to more than 300 million users worldwide. As with other social media and internet-based tools, Twitter has evolved. Its use has evolved from mundane updates about personal breakfast choices to celebrity cyber-fandom to innovative charity drives.

One example of Twitter's use is the Twestival, which is a grassroots social media fundraising initiative that has generated more than $1 million in less than two year for more than 125 charities. All events are organized by volunteers and 100% of ticket sales goes to projects.

A second example is the innovative involvement of Twitter in The Voice, a singing competition which gives fans of the contestants, judges, and host unprecedented access to engage. “The kind of closeness, access and insider perspective that Twitter provides combined with a TV show is a really magical connection,” says Chloe Sladden, Twitter’s director of content and programming.

Additional Twitter uses include power outage notifications, flash mob instructions, conference communications, government rebellion updates, and university security emergencies. Twitter's use has evolved, and its users need to keep up.

There are self-annointed Twitter gurus out there to provide their two cents on how you should use Twitter today. The list below includes my philosophy, based on my experience as a consultant, speaker, small business leader, entreprenuer, nonprofit leader, spiritual active participant in life. I'm not a guru, just an active user who has benefitted with friendships, clients, and knowledge from Twitter.

12 Twitter Do's and Do Not's

The Do's:,

Be social. Join the conversation, comment, RT, and reply. Lurking is not social and, while informative, will not be profitable.
Return follows. Twitter limits how many people you can follow who do not follow back, so I follow everyone back (except porn stars, get-rich-quick schmemers, and account-holders-but-non-posters). If you don't follow someone back, you limit the number of people they can follow, so, in my opinion, it is good manners to return follows.
Avoid self-promoters. It is time-consuming scrolling through endless sales pitches of self-absorbed people who use the tool incorrectly. De-follow them. (Yes, this is an exception to #2)
Use 140 characters. It is common today to dismiss the 140-character rule and cause people to click for your complete thought. If you cannot make the complete thought within the 140-character allotment, do not tweet it. Or, post it as a blog and clearly link it as a blog post.
Use your own words. Posting quotations is acceptable, but it is annoying if it's the only thing you do. People want to hear what you have to say. If you do not have anything new to say, refrain from posting. Constantly posting others' words shows you have nothing new to add to conversations.
Show appreciation for good tweets by RT'ing them, thanking the poster, or connecting that poster with others. Gratitude goes a long way in social media.

The Do Not's

Do not auto-tweet every minute of every day. I de-followed someone who did that, literally every minute, today. No one wants your messages to take up the entire screen allotment.
Do not auto-tweet only. Twitter works best as an engagement tool, not as one-way blasts.
Do not overly promote yourself, your business, or your latest MLM venture. You lose credibility and interest, just as you would if you spoke in a self-absorbed manner in person.
Do not post a thought in 100 characters and use the 40 remaining characters to link to your book on amazon.com. That's just trampy.
Do not auto-DM your new followers. It is very 2010 to use DMs as auto-responders, but it would be acceptable to DM to engage in genuine conversation.
Do not post FF on Fridays any more--again, so 2010. Feel free to post a FF once in a while, even one a day, but do not post ten in a row full of FFs.

That's the list of Do's and Do Not's that are top-of-mind today. To sum up: treat Twitter followers with the same manners and respect you use with people in person.

What else would you add to the list?

3 lessons old people teach us about fun

2011-12-02T09:20:00.002-06:00

All-In strategy number five, from the book Put Your Whole Self In! Life & Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way, is to Enjoy Now.

I talk in the book and in presentations about not putting off joy until something happens--like the mortgage is paid off, a new coworker arrives, the lazy boss is ousted, the kids go off to college. Seek something to honor, appreciate, and celebrate every day. Seek to laugh every day and to make someone else laugh daily too.

Here's a video that made me laugh this week:

Three things can we all learn from that clip:

Don't wait for joy to find you today. Create it for yourself and those around you.
Be prepared for fun at any time. Have the right tools--like an extra steering wheel.
The event may be brief, but the laugh can last a long time.

One more lesson: as funny as this was, it's from a movie. Don't create your own joy at others' expense; for example, causing accidents while driving. There's enough jokers on the road these days.

Have a terrific Friday and weekend being All-In!

Does brand congruency really matter?

2011-11-30T16:35:00.000-06:00

Is a Kardashian baby news worthy of CNN? Apparently, yes. News of a Kardashian baby made CNN's web site today, along with a video clip of Tori Spelling talking about a naked tweet, a video titled 'Bin Laden buns' sell like hotcakes, and Donald Trump's daughter's proclamation that her father should be President.

When CNN began twenty or so years ago, it was a news organization. Now, it spends as much time devoted to celebrity topics as it does real actual news. Actually, CNN spends more time on celebrity than news.

Do you know how many of the 133 stories on CNN's home page are about Iraq today?

One. It was about a hotel chain buying hotels in Iraq. Not one mention of the war. More than 100 headlines and not one about the wars Americans are fighting in the Middle East.

Do you think CNN's in-congruence diminishes their brand? Can you take CNN seriously as a news organization when it spends more time on trashy reality stars than it does on American soldiers?

Yesterday, CNN ranked second to Fox News Channel for the day.

Lest you think FNC won the day because they are more news-centric, you should know their home page also includes Kardashian news among many other celeb stories.

I suspect we viewers/readers are just used to the mix now. News junkies have reduced their expectations of the news channels, while the channels are trying to appeal to non-news-junkies by dumbing down their topics. So, even though we are used to it, does it damage their brands?

Even more important to think about...when your company does something similar, is your brand damaged?

For example, as an entrepreneur with professional business clients, is your brand power diminished by MLM emails selling purses, jewelry, vitamins, travel, or furniture? Or, as an attorney, is your brand affected when you blog about getting out of a speeding ticket? Or, as a financial services executive, is your influence among employees impacted by padding your expenses?

If, like CNN or FNC, your brand is well known and rock solid, brand in-congruence might not matter. If you are like most entrepreneurs, attorneys, and executives, however, the inconsistency can do more damage that its worth.

What do you think: does brand congruency matter?

Self-indulgent buffoonery damages teams

2011-11-28T10:54:00.000-06:00

If you watched last night's NFL game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Pittsburgh Steelers, you saw Bob Costas express his opinion about America's culture growing more stupid and graceless, as reflected in sports. Costas speaks about the spontaneous displays of enthusiasm versus calculated obnoxious displays.

Take a look:

Costas refers to yesterdays Buffalo Bills v. New York Jets game during which a Bills player's celebratory antics cost his team a penalty, which made it easy for the Jets to score the game-winning touch down. When the same self-absorbed player dropped a pass near the end of the game, he did not do an apology dance, Costa says.

Costa asks where the coaches are and why the coaches don't bench players when their antics damage their team. So far, I have not seen a coach respond. What could a coach say, "It's just boys being boys"? I've heard that response often when this topic is debated. The problem with it is that the boy being a boy often causes penalties. When self-absorption impacts teammates or the outcome of a game, the coaches and team leaders need to step in. Team leaders can help the ego-driven athlete understand his role as a teammate and coaches can ensure the message is received.

Most players do not indulge in graceless buffoonery after they score. Most players understand where the line between buffoonery and enthusiasm is drawn, and they have the accurate filter through which to behave. The few who do not look foolish because of their actions, immature because of their lack of control, and selfish because they do not care about their teams.

The same can be said of teams within workplaces. I have not seen a teammate jump on a boardroom table, pull a pen out of his sock, and sign an approved proposal while spinning on his head. But, I have seen emails in which business teammates take credit for someone else's work. I have seen workplace teammates take jabs at others during meetings so they can keep all the attention. I've seen work teammates cause extra work for the whole team just to ensure that someone else does not get to make a good play.

Jealousy, insecurity, and lack of confidence cause the same type of buffoonery Costas refers to in the NFL. In fact, in his opening statement, Costas says our culture is growing more stupid and graceless and sports reflects it.

Another famous football legend, Lou Holtz, said, "When you reach the end zone, act like you've been there before." When players dance around like it's their first time in the end zone and they are shocked to see the view from there, they probably do not realize how they look to most people watching. The same can be said when workplace teammates behave in mindless exhibitionism.

What do you think: is there a line between enthusiasm and self-indulgence? How have you seen the line blurred at work? What should the leaders do about it?

Heineken nailed it

2011-11-07T12:40:00.000-06:00

Heineken nailed it: You are who you are when no one is looking. As much as I dislike that trite phrase, it becomes more relevant every day as more and more people don't seem to realize its truth.

Whatever act you put on for peers, bosses, the media, clients, acquaintances, you are who you are. You are what you do. You are not who you say you are or who you think you are. You are who you are.

There are so many examples in the news right now, it is surprising to me how many people have not learned the truth. Or, perhaps they do not want to admit the truth about who they are--even to themselves.

One example is Penn State's legendary football coach, Joe Paterno. As you may have heard, one of Joe Pa's long-time coaches was arrested Saturday and arraigned on 40 criminal counts related to decades of sexual abuse of young boys. A 28-year-old graduate assistant witnessed the retired coach in the shower with a 10-year old boy in 2002. The assistant told Paterno, who reportedly told the Athletic Director, who apparently did nothing. Paterno did nothing else either.

The investigation and fallout from it continue, and I bring it up here because Paterno and his followers have upheld him as a beacon of greatness for decades. While Paterno has not been arrested, the fact is, he knew about the abuse and continued to allow the abuser to use the facilities at Penn State. So, whether he is legally responsible, he is morally responsible because he knew (he admits to knowing). He can think of himself as a beacon of greatness, his followers can continue to talk him up, ESPN can slop sugar all over him, but he is who he is. Paterno is someone who did not prevent gross sexual perversion of children from occurring in his facility, yet, he could have. Whatever his legal obligation, the bottom line is he knew about it and did not prevent it from continuing. He is who he is.

The Penn State situation is disgusting, and all details are not public yet.

Other less disgusting but just as obvious examples of people in denial of "you are what you are" are evident in workplaces every day:

The manager or board member who takes credit for someone else's idea.
The business leader who promotes herself as a role model, yet is not successful in that business.
The salesperson who tells customers to buy more than they need, just so he can get commission on it.
The employee who takes two-hour lunches, pads expense accounts, and takes office supplies.
The entrepreneur who keeps long lists of things to do to improve his business, yet never does anything on the lists.

However you justify your behavior, however you position it to the media, coworkers, or your own mind, you are who you are.

Live and work as though the truth of who you are is important. Whether you want to believe it or not, others can tell who you are and will treat you according to who you are, not who you think you are, not who you wish you were, and not who you say you are. The truth is evident to others. See yourself for what you are. If you do not like the results you are getting, look in the mirror.

As we talk about in The All-In Way sessions and the book Put Your Whole Self In, pass the Mirror Test every day. See yourself. See the truth about yourself. Live All-In so when you are treated the way you deserve to be, you are treated very well.

You are who you are when no one is looking. But, you should look. See yourself.

Too legit to quit

2011-10-24T11:06:00.000-05:00

An entrepreneur named Stanley Burrell announced the launch of a new search engine at last week's Web 2.0 summit in San Francisco. Yawn...

Don't get too bored...

Burrell's stage name is MC Hammer. Yes, that MC Hammer. You remember him because he's too legit, too legit to quit. Hammer was one of the biggest rap stars of all time, selling more than 50 million records in his heyday. He is credited with being one of the innovators of pop-rap because his music appealed to fans of both in a unique way back in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

You also might remember him for his Hammer pants, Hammer time, and personal difficulties in the late 1990s.

He's come a long way since then.

When MC Hammer was in the midst of stardom and sang about being "too legit to quit," I thought he was focused on being "too legit." He admitted as much in interviews years after spending his $20 million fortune, losing his house, filing bankruptcy, and settling copyright infringement lawsuits. He has spoken in interviews on Oprah and VH1 and elsewhere about out-of-order priorities causing his downfall.

What stands out to me now is not the "too legit" part, it's the "to quit" part. It turns out the kid dancing to a boombox outside Oakland A's ballpark really was not going to quit.

Burrell has many business holdings including a record label, artist management company, MMA management company, horse racing stable, and clothing line (that does not sell Hammer pants, by the way). He also is an established internet mogul involved with several dance sites.

This guy came from living in a tiny house with eight siblings, dancing outside the A's stadium and made it to the height of super-stardom, then lost the superstar staus and financial security, then became a successful business mogul with diverse business interests. He's living life All In!

After all of the highs and lows, Stanley Burrell really is too legit to quit. I suspect his latest high-tech venture will be successful too. Or, at least if it's not, he will be just fine. MC Hammer: too legit to quit. Stanley Burrell: U can't touch this.

Question for Readers:

Who would have thought we could learn something from Hammer Time, but we can. Knock me over with a feather. My question for you: are you too legit to quit too?

Link to article on www.CNN.com

Leadership lesson learned from silver dollars

2011-10-13T11:41:00.002-05:00

My paternal grandparents lived in Connecticut, and we lived a thousand miles away in Missouri. We would get together in the summers on family vacations and when the Yankees came to KC to play the Royals.

The last silver dollar from my grandfather on my desk today

Every time I would see my grandfather, just a few times a year, he would put a silver dollar in the palm of my hand and give me a wink. He made me feel like the most special person in the world, and I saved many of those coins. The last one he gave me prior to his death stays on my desk as a reminder to emulate him and how he interacted with people.

For years, my grandfather walked every day at the local mall. He knew everyone there and loved seeing the same people every day. The evening of his wake in 1997, cars lined the streets and police directed traffic for the hundreds of people who wanted to pay their respects at the funeral home. People waited in a line that twisted around the room and out in to a lobby area. The line was full of neighbors, friends, and lifelong friends of his five sons. The line also was full of people wearing a variety of uniforms required of workers at the mall. So many people who knew my grandfather only from his walks at the mall made the time to come to his wake.

I was so enthralled with all of those people, I introduced myself to as many as I could so they could tell me their stories. Each told stories about how my grandfather would stop for a brief greeting or just wave if they were busy, but he acknowledged them every day. He made them feel special every day. And, it turns out, he gave them silver dollars.

My whole life, I thought I was the only recipient of the silver dollars. As a child, I learned he gave them to my brothers and cousins too, but I thought that was it. He made us feel so special when he gave us those coins.It turns out, he was doing the same all over town! He gave them to the workers at the mall, at restaurants he frequented, auto repair shops, gas stations--everywhere!

It surprised and thrilled me to learn about his friendships with so many people none of us knew and to learn that he made them feel special. I bet many of them have the last silver dollar he gave them in a special place and remember him fondly, just as I do.

So, what's the leadership lesson here?

There are many lessons to be learned from my grandfather, but the main reason I keep the final silver dollar handy is the reminder to pay attention to others. Whether you are the leader of a company, department, home, church committee, or neighborhood, you are a leader because others follow you. The more special you make them, the more loyalty they will have for you. And, small gestures like a wink, smile, daily greeting can be all you need. My grandfather could have handed out pennies and people would have loved him. The way he made people feel is why they waited in traffic and in line to honor him. It was not about the money. It was about how valuable he made people feel because he genuinely saw them as valuable.

As a leader, if you feel sorry for people who look up to you, they can tell.

For example, if you run a call center but feel sorry for the employees answering the phone, they can tell you do not value them or their positions. Perhaps you think a 45-year old woman working in a call center has not had much of a career and will never make more than $50,000, so you feel sorry for her. You don't have to say anything for your demeanor to reflect your feelings about her. What you're missing is that she is a service-minded person who is thrilled to get paid $35,000 to help people. You might feel sorry that recent college graduates can't find better jobs than the entry level ones available in the call center. But, they might be thrilled to have day jobs while they work on their music careers at night. Your attitude toward entry level jobs is reflected, even if it is not stated.

The lesson from my grandfather would be not to judge people for holding those jobs, but to genuinely care about them. They are no worse than you, just as someone who makes twice your salary is no better than you. Don't judge them either. Don't be too busy or pre-occupied to be kind. Just be happy to see people and treat them as such.

So, the leadership lesson is to treat people as if they matter because you really think they do. It might be the Golden Rule, but it's embedded in my head and heart by silver dollars.

What additional leadership lessons do you see in this story about my grandfather?

The growth plan better extend beyond financial finagling

2011-10-07T17:38:00.000-05:00

If the primary way your company can be profitable is by moving its headquarters, you're in trouble. If production costs have increased and operating costs have followed, and the best idea your leaders have is to reduce rent, update your resume because your company won't be around long.

Of course, saving on office expenses is wise. It should just not be the primary way a company alters its Income Statement. If you're in the movie business, figure out a way to make money in the movie industry. If you run an engineering firm, figure out how to be profitable in the engineering industry. If you run a bakery, bake some revenue-generating treats. If you're in real estate, move to generate income. But, don't be in the real estate industry if you're not in the real estate industry. If you can't make a buck in the business you're in, it's time to evaluate the business you're in.

Do not expect your shareholders and stakeholders to fall for financial finagling, even if it works short-term. They recognize when a company is at the end of its rope holding on.

Be creative, be the expert in your industry, be innovative. Come up with ideas that inspire people--employees, clients, shareholders--rather than ideas that reek of last-ditch desperation. You might be surprised by what inspired, All-In, people do when they are invited to do more than pack their desks into boxes.

What I learned from Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T11:01:00.002-05:00

The announcement of his death was less than 24 hours ago, and Apple haters are already bemoaning the recognition and praise being heaped on the man. They say he was not really a creative genius because he didn't invent anything. They say he just copied other people's ideas and made them better. They say their lives are just fine with Android instead of Apple products.

They stumble when asked to explain how design improvements are not inventions or how bringing products to the mass market is not creative. They don't have an answer when asked if they really think their Android products would be as useful today without Jobs over at Apple. Well, they have an answer but it is defensive and short-sighted.

While Jobs is being heralded as a creative genius today, I pondered the main thing I learned from his career--ups and downs. The main thing I takeaway is that being first to market is not always best. Being #2 is good. Jobs improved on what was available already. He didn't invent the mp3 player, he made it more useful to consumers. The same is true for computers and tablets.

In today's highly competitive marketplace, it is common to scrap an idea if someone beats you to it. Thinking like Jobs, however, one might decide to do it anyway, just do it better. Don't fear being #2. Make #1 better and you just might overtake the position (a la Apple v. Sony in the portable music market). That's what I'm going to reflect on as an important takeaway from Steve Jobs.

Well, that and his whole thing about one's time being limited on this earth so have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. That's a good lesson too--one he began teaching in the 1980s.

The one requirement of winning teams: chemistry

2011-09-28T16:30:00.000-05:00

It is hard to be an football fan these days, especially if your favorite team started its season on a bad note. It is especially hard for someone knowledgeable about teamwork and leadership to be a fan of teams when key elements of both are so obviously missing. As frustrating as it is to watch on a football field, it is equally frustrating to be along the sidelines of a leadership team, creative team, or project team suffering losses because of teamwork or leadership.

When a football team is full of four- and five-star recruits or highly paid professionals, the team should be able to compete well with other teams with similar skills. Why, then, do teams with equivalent talent get pummeled by opponents? Why do teams with better talent get badly beaten by opponents with less talent? Once a team is full of skilled players, what makes the difference in its success?

What makes the difference is team chemistry. Team chemistry includes:

Respect for teammates' ability to perform their role
Reliance on the teammate's performance for one's own performance
Trust that the teammates will perform their role
Expectation that the teammates will perform their role
Recognition when teammates perform in difficult situations

Have you been on unsuccessful teams at work? If you think about those teams, you could undoubtedly identify which of the five elements of chemistry were missing.

The impact of teams without chemistry is time. And, usually, time equals money.

Teams without chemistry...

Take too long to make decisions
Miss opportunities because they are not flexible or nimble
Spend too much time in meetings
Duplicate work
Create extra work for themselves and others

Bottom Line: Team chemistry is the key to a winning team.

There are many parallels between football and business management. From hiring to managing to performing to motivating: both sides could learn by watching each other. As a fan of one and a player in the other, the parallels hit me between the eyes every weekend during the fall. The pain of failures stings all week but the joy of victory makes both exciting.

Is your strategy inducing confidence or shaking it?

2011-09-02T10:26:00.001-05:00

If one of your biggest clients said "It appears that they're lost right now" about your company, what would you do?

This morning's print edition of The Wall Street Journal includes an article about Hewlett-Packard (H-P), its strategy, and how it has communicated with customers and investors. The first line of the article is: Hewlett-Packard Co.'s recent strategic moves have shaken the confidence of investors. Now customers of the technology giant are also getting nervous. A few paragraphs later a big customer is quoted saying, "It appears that they're lost right now."

It's bad enough that a big customer considers his supplier lost, but the feeling is shared by others--and published in The Wall Street Journal!

In the article, H-P executives defended their strategy and claimed to be in "constant contact with our customers to explain our strategy and ensure their needs are being met." Apparently their customers are unaware of the "constant contact" because many are confused and disappointed in H-P's strategy.

What has H-P done wrong?

It is unclear if H-P's strategic decisions are wrong--time will tell. What is clear is H-P's communication of their strategy has been wrong. When it comes to inducing confidence or shaking it, communication is key.

Communication with employees, customers, partners, vendors, and investors needs to be precise and targeted so the strategic direction has a chance of working. Poor communication can kill any strategic plan.

What have you done to ensure your strategic direction is confidence-inducing? Have you had enough communication with customers? Do employees understand it and know they're part of it? Whether you are charged with planning the direction of an entire multi-billion dollar corporation or a million dollar non-profit or a department of three, consider communication a critical part of your success.

H-P considers communication critical: Just three hours after the online edition of The Wall Street Journal was published, a second article which more thoroughly explains the strategy and how it is being communicated was published online. H-P has strong market position, so customer confidence has been stirred but not been shaken entirely.

When is the last time you talked with your customers about your strategy? Don't wait for them to voice their concerns to The Wall Street Journal to start the conversations. Confidence should be reinforced throughout each year.

For the full WSJ article:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903895904576544822297017068.html#ixzz1Wo2juG6M

Abercrombie tries to awaken the delusional

2011-08-17T10:52:00.002-05:00

Abercrombie has offered big bucks to the Jersey Shore cast to get them to STOP wearing the Abercrombie label on their show. While the cast has hopes of big movie roles, endorsement deals, and fame beyond its fifteen minutes, one of the most well known retailers wants nothing to do with them. Abercrombie went so far as to say being affiliated with the cast, specifically Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, goes against the "aspirational nature" of its brand and may be "distressing" to customers. (From www.KansasCity.com)

How would you feel if you were told that being affiliated with you is distressing? Not only is Abercrombie not going to pay for product placement, they want the product placement to stop. Abercrombie, who often skims the line of good taste when it comes to promotion (remember young kids in sexy poses?), does not want to be affiliated with them.

So, while there is some irony in the story, why would I bring it to my readers' attention? My readers don't watch Jersey Shore or wear Abercrombie, so what do they care?

The point to consider if self-awareness.

While it is likely you are not as delusional as the reality show cast, it is also likely that increased self-awareness could improve your performance at work. The more aware a person is to how she is perceived and how others respond to her, the more powerful she can become.

For example, a sales person who doesn't close the sale often blames the pricing or timing when it could be the sales person's tardiness, insufficient preparation, or lack of knowledge about the client. It is easier and faster to accept price as the barrier to the sale. Price is an acceptable barrier these days. But, it shouldn't be.

Another example, a project team presents new design options to a client and all are rejected. The client might say the ideas were great, creative, and innovative then send the team back with so many revisions the next version looks nothing like the original. If the client knew what he wanted in the first place, why didn't he tell the account manager? I suspect most account managers would not take the time to assess their part in the miscommunication. It would be easier, faster, and less painful to join the chorus of frustration being sung by the rest of the team.

When something does not go your way, do a 2-Review. Reflect for just two minutes on what you could have done differently to boost the chances of success. What could you do differently next time to make success more likely? People who are highly self-aware make it easy for others to give them what they want--they make success likely.

People who are highly self-aware are paid for their reputations, ideas, and results. They are not paid for being delusional--or for not working.

(Link to article)

All-Out Company of the Week: Lowe's

2011-08-15T18:27:00.000-05:00

The Wall Street Journal (www.online.wsj.com) includes an article summarizing Lowe's latest earnings forecast reduction. Although sales are up 2%, the article says, the home-improvement retailer advises that earnings per share will be down 6% because of store closings.

From The Wall Street Journal: "The volume of negative news and the unsettling impact from equity markets" are having a "significant effect on an already fragile consumer mindset," said Chief Executive Robert Niblock on a conference call. "More specifically, with regard to home-improvement spending, consumers continue to focus on small-ticket, less-than-$500 repair and maintenance items and projects," Mr. Niblock said.

News of Lowe's forecasted earnings reduction coincides with horrible service I've had there this month. The CEO knows consumers have a "fragile mindset," and they've closed stores, but apparently store employees do not know. I won't bore you with details of the treacherous ordering process, lazy employee who lied rather than work, or delivery nightmare--you've had those too and can relate.

Let's focus instead on how to avoid becoming your industry's killer of quality service and how to avoid making the All-Out List:

When a customer requests something reasonable of you, view the request as an opportunity. People who feel like they've inconvenienced you are not likely to return. Jump at the chance to provide service if you want to enhance the bond your customers feel with your business.
When your company makes a mistake, be honest and efficient. Customers want to hear about the solution, not about how it wasn't your fault. They want to know when the dryer will be delivered, or when the account correction will post, or when the report will be sent rather than about poor internal procedures. A mistake usually won't cause customers to leave but poor handling of a mistake will.
Get the work done right. Doing the work, whatever your field, is the bare minimum expected. Being nice, taking customers to lunch, gifting event tickets do not make up for unfinished, or poorly done, work. Kenny Chesney is great, but free tickets and backstage passes do not make up for poor quality. Taking 10% off the price is great, but it does not make up for missed delivery times. Do what you promise and promise only what you can do.

Keep those three strategies in mind, in addition to the usual recommendations for quality service, to avoid becoming known as the place good service goes to die in your industry. As for Lowe's, the experience is not over yet, but today's news was somewhat consoling: at least I'm not alone.

What do you think companies need to do to avoid the All-Out List?

First impressions and basic economics

2011-08-10T10:31:00.000-05:00

They say you never get a second chance to make a good first impression. True. But, isn't it the second impressions which matter most?

People size each other up quickly. In about seven seconds, we decide if someone looks like a worthy business adviser, expert, friend, technician, employee...the list goes on and on. How often do you judge someone unworthy, based on first impressions alone (looks, voice, written, comments), yet give them another chance anyway? Frequently, right?

It is common to give second chances. Everything today is about relationships, so we can't write people off for what bothers us in less than a minute. For one thing, we have to work with people who don't impress us right away. We also serve them as customers, live next door, work on church committees, plan school events, and dine with them as friends of friends.

If a dear friend introduces you to her favorite coworker, who is drinking her third martini at Happy Hour Friday night, you're likely to forgive her coworker's bad karaoke rendition of Sweet Caroline. Or, if you get assigned to a project team with the office gossip, you'll keep your guard up rather than complain to the boss about expecting to be assigned to teams full of people you love dearly.

We adapt. We deal with people we don't click with. We give second chances. Most of the time it is smart to do so, and it often works out well for both sides.

The one time second chances are hard to get and give is basic economics: when supply is greater than demand.

For example, when interviewing for a new position and there are dozens, or thousands, of competing applicants, first impressions separate the interviewees. Typos on resumes ruin first impressions and knock candidates out of the running.

In today's competitive marketplace, first impressions count because supply exceeds demand. For example, I recently purchased a washer and dryer at Lowes. The experience was unpleasant from start to finish, so the next time I need something, Lowes will not be considered. In my one experience, it seems Lowes employees have poor eye sight. There's a direct competitor next door. Can they see it? Supply exceeds demand in their industry.

What about in your industry? Does supply exceed demand? If so, first impressions count. As do second, third, fourth...EVERY impression counts today. Use basic economics to your advantage by paying attention to every impression and by selling when a competitor missteps. Distinguish yourself and your business by considering every impression essential.

Is there an industry today where supply exceeds demand? What do you think about first impressions in your line of work?

All-In Person of the Week: Allan Guei, high school senior from Compton

2011-07-05T18:06:00.002-05:00

If Allan Guei is representative of its young people, Compton's image may be changing. The high school senior made one of the most stunningly generous acts I've ever heard of, and in doing so becomes the All-In Person of the Week.

Compton High School in Los Angeles held a free throw shooting contest with $40,000 scholarship fund as its prize. One hundred students were eligible to enter the contest because their grade point average was above 3.0. One of the finalists was Mr. Guei, a basketball star at the school.

Mr. Guei won the contest and the scholarship money. He won $40,000!

And, he gave it all away.

In a gesture which stuns those of us who do not know the basketball player, Mr. Guei gave the entire $40,000 to the other seven finalists. Each will get $5,500. Although NCAA rules would have allowed the winner to keep the money, he gave it to the other contestants because he already has a full scholarship to Cal-State Northridge.

"I've already been blessed so much and I know we're living with a bad economy, so I know this money can really help my classmates," he said in a release from the school.

Every once in a while we all have the opportunity to show what we're made of. Mr. Guei showed he's made of good stuff--the best. If other students in his community are like him, Compton would be lucky. In fact, we'd all be lucky to be surrounded by people like him. We'd be lucky to BE like him!

Way to go, Allan! You INspire us all by being All-In!

Full article from Rivals

Every dog has his day

2011-06-19T16:00:00.003-05:00

The best advice from my dad, or at least the advice I refer to most often, is that every dog has his day. The good dogs have their day, and the bad ones get theirs too.

The first time I remember my dad gave me that advice was after a coworker presented an idea of mine as his own. The idea was accepted, made the company a lot of money, and the coworker got the credit. Credit doesn't matter to me, but the raise and promotion that came along with it mattered.

After my coworker's presentation, I sought advice from my dad. He drove me out to Lake Jacomo (readers in Kansas City know the area), where we sat on top of a picnic table for over an hour. I ranted about the situation, probably conjuring up all kinds of wicked retaliation schemes no one would ever really try, and my dad calmly told me not to worry about it further after we get back in the car. He said, "Kelly, every dog has his day and you do not need to spend your energy on other dog's days. Earn the day you want to have because you will get your day too."

That's good advice to ponder because it is easy to get wrapped up in other dogs, who is getting what, and when. I try to focus on the part about earning the day I want to have. If every dog has his, or her, day, I want mine to be a good one. According to my dad, I have to earn it. I can't earn a good day if mine is spent worried about other dogs' days or when they get theirs.

Last week, as Father's Day approached, my dad's advice came to mind. I asked others to share the best advice they received, and a few of their answers are below.

Courtney's dad always stressed trying not to embarrass people -- we all know it's one of the worst feelings. Her dad went out of his way to lessen embarrassment for others in certain situations. For example, if someone -- even someone he had met previously -- was shaking his hand, he would always introduce himself while shaking back. He helped them avoid the embarrassment of forgetting his name. (We've all been there and could share Courtney's lesson on this one.)

Daniel's dad told him, "Give everything you do your best. There is NEVER an excuse for not giving it your all." (This is like go all-in or go home!)

Jennifer said her father was never a man of many words. His best advice? "Go ask your mother!" (I bet many of us have heard that over the years!)

Angel's father said, "If you are going to be one of those independent-type women, you had better learn how to do man stuff because I won't always be here to do it for you" -- said whilst teaching Angel how to tile the kitchen in her first house. (Angel is one of those independent-type women--a role model!)

Suzy's dad told her to go to college and take Accounting, and make a budget. (The budget advice is something we all can take.)

Greg's told him not to be a dairy farmer. (I'm not sure we'd all have the opportunity to be dairy farmers, but learning from our parents' careers would be wise for everyone.)

Mike's dad said, "Don't trust anybody that tells you their life story in the first 5 minutes after you meet them, and don't trust anyone that doesn't drink." (When someone is too open too soon it might signal an expectation different than yours. Guard up!)

Shawn's father told him to choose his battles wisely. (Pretty good advice for an attorney to remember in today's litigious society. Advice worth noting for all of us.)

Chris was told to go to MU, there are no girls at Rolla. (I spoke at Rolla recently and can assure you it's different now.)

Mary's dad (who is also my Uncle Joe) advised not to talk about politics or money. (Sound advice for Facebook, Twitter, and blogs--if you want to stay friends with a variety of people.)

William's father said he would go far in life if he had a plan instead of letting things come along. Becky was told to keep negative opinions about people to herself because expressing them would only lead to trouble. Mary Jo's dad told her to have monthly meetings with her husband so she knew all of the family finances. Brian's dad said he should save more money than he spends--advice that came in handy when Brian bought his first home at 28.

Great advice from dads we all can learn from. Thank you to all who shared.

Every dog has his day, and today is one for all the dads. Happy Father's Day to all the fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers, godfathers, mentors, and other influencers in kids' lives. Enjoy your day!

(Here are my dad and mom with their six grandchildren. The only one I have handy of my dad and me is from high school, so I figured you'd like this one better. Enjoy!)

Mistake management for dummies

2011-06-07T14:37:00.000-05:00

Yawn! Another powerful man...another downfall. The continuous failure to take responsibility for one's behavior is just boring now.

I'm not going to post about the latest example playing itself out in the media. If you're reading this, you probably know anyway. If not, take a quick look at any news site and you'll see it front and center.

Putting personal judgements about infidelity aside, I find it almost offensive that these public figures have not learned from other highly publicized atrocious mistake management.

The pattern of behavior for how mistakes are managed by powerful public figures could be published in a book called Mistake Management for Dummies. It would include:
1. Deny! Deny! Deny!
2. State that you do not know the person/people involved at all
3. State that you are sorry for your family (don't give a thought to the fact that you didn't consider them at all before you were caught)
4. State that you are taking full responsibility for your misdeeds (don't give a thought to exactly what that means, don't really do anything)
5. Shed a few tears and if they don't come easily, fake it

While some are judging these people for their infidelity, I think they should be judged for how poorly they managed their situations once they were caught.

Has Bill Clinton taught us nothing?

Haven't they learned from Martha Stewart at all? She went to PRISON! She did not go to prison for her lies. She went for covering up her lies!

We all make mistakes. We don't all make them worse by lying about them.

Here's the basic process for Mistake Management for Smarties:
Step 1: Admit it.
Step 2: Fix it.
Step 3: Don't do it again.

It seems like every executive should know by now that it is not the mistake that hurts one's reputation and career. It is how it is handled. Covering it up or blaming others does more damage than the actual error, most of the time.

Manage your mistakes like a pro. And, by "pro", I mean someone who takes responsibility, not like the highly publicized professionals in the news lately.

Gossip in the tabloids is akin to gossip in the workplace

2011-06-06T11:23:00.000-05:00

Some say they read tabloid magazines like People, US Weekly, and National Inquirer for the "escape from the real world." I submit that All-In people don't keep up on the lives of Paris, Arnold's mistress, or the latest celeb's rehab as a way to escape their own lives.

The tabloid paparazzi prevented a child from attending his eight grade graduation last week. Granted, his father is a famous actor and former Governor, and news of his birth just came out. So what? The child should not miss his own life events because a picture of him would fetch a pretty penny.

Who pays those pretty pennies? Readers of tabloid magazines like People, US Weekly, and National Inquirer.

It used to be comical to read those rags while in line at the grocery store or at the dentist office, but the stories are no longer about aliens abducting former TV stars with three arms. The stories are about real children who are not in the spotlight.

The stories, photographs, and tabloids aren't as innocuous as they used to be.

I suspect the same people who read the tabloids for their escape are the same who gossip in the workplace. They say they don't mean anything by it, but they sure can wreck havoc.

Workplace gossip can bring down an employee in the way tabloids bring down celebrities. Companies lose hours of productivity to gossip every year, but don't assume everyone is doing it.

All-In people do not gossip. I saw a terrific example last week.

As people were gathering early for a meeting at a client's office, a woman asked another if she heard about Phyllis. The second woman said she heard Phyllis had family affected by the Joplin tornado. As the first woman responded with, "Yes, her daughter lives there with her boyfriend and kids. I don't know where the children's father is since they are getting divorced." The second woman quickly put her hand up, looked the first in the eye and said, "Oh, I don't need to know the details of Phyllis's family. All I need to know is that she needs donations and I can help her." The first woman had no response. She knew the second was not going to listen, so she stopped.

While it is not always as simple as that, there are plenty of people who see office gossip as harmful as the tabloid gossip.

When one's own life is full and rewarding, there is no need to escape it. When one is happy with oneself, there is no need to gossip. When one is focusing on doing good in their own life, there is no need to celebrate the downfall of others at work or in Hollywood.

When one lives All-In, they don't gossip about coworkers or celebrities to escape from their own lives, or to shift focus away from themselves, or to harm someone else's reputation. Do they?

What do you think: is reading tabloids harmless fun? Is office gossip harmless too?

CNN is not a news organization

2011-06-01T14:22:00.000-05:00

It is official: CNN is not a serious news organization.

A serious news organization would not have a story encouraging readers to revisit the sex tape scandal of two reality TV stars. On its front page.

Going in to an election cycle, if it wants to be taken seriously, CNN should stop pandering.

CNN: Do Better!

You are who you are

2011-06-01T13:38:00.004-05:00

He was called a man of integrity, the kind of coach you would want your son to play for. But, over the weekend Ohio State's football coach, Jim Tressel, resigned amid a cheating scandal. In fact, Sports Illustrated described Tressel as having committed "the most egregious of sins for a coach in the eyes of college sports' ruling body".

When he was caught for misdeeds in the past, Tressel claimed ignorance of the rules. It does not appear that excuse will stand this time. This time, it appears he is saying he did it for the good of the boys on his team.

Is it acceptable to ignore rules for the sake of individual players, or one team?

No, it is not.

When Tressel became the coach of an NCAA-regulated team sport, he became obligated to know the rules and abide by all of them, even those he disliked.

The same is true for leaders of companies.

Once you join your company, you take an implicit oath to its Mission and rules. If you do not like the rules or the way the company performs, work to change them. Selecting to ignore them is not an option someone of integrity chooses.

You are who you are. If you have integrity, you have it all the time. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Covering it up and lying, which Tressel is charged with, are not actions someone with integrity chooses.

You are who you are. If you have integrity, you have it all the time. You don't turn a blind eye to the rules you dislike, the way some financial executives did in recent years.

You are who you are. You don't steal someone's business idea, call it your own, and take it to market, the way a local business person did in recent years.

You are who you are. If you lack integrity, even once, your reputation will suffer along with your relationships. Although you may not face a disciplinary board for each infraction, like Tressel will in August, your peers and coworkers judge just the same. They will see you for who you are and will distrust you accordingly.

When you look in the mirror at the end of each day, you know who you are. You know if you are working toward the company Mission, giving equal work for the pay given you. You know if you are breaking the rules, covering it up, and lying. Even if you justify such behavior, you know deep down that your behavior and integrity are out of alignment. You know it and those around you know it.

You are who you are, whether you like it or not.

More about Tressel:
Sports Illustrated: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/football/ncaa/05/30/tressel.resigns/

Kansas City man named to Time magazine Most Influential list

2011-04-22T08:56:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to Kansas City's own Gary White for being named one of Time magazine's most influential people of 2011!

Gary, and his partner Matt Damon (the Academy-Award-winning writer/actor), co-founded Water.org in 2009. Water.org is a nonprofit organization committed to providing safe drinking water and sanitation to people in developing countries.

“Water and sanitation are the most basic building blocks of human life and dignity. Without them, people will forever struggle to move forward with their lives” said Gary White. Gary has been working to bring water around the world for more than 25 years and has received numerous awards and recognitions for his work over the years.

In 2010, Gary was featured as one of the All-In people in my book Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way. Gary and Matt are All-In and Influential.

Links:
Time Magazine 100 Most Influential People
Water.org
Put Your Whole Self In!

The stampede has begun!

2011-04-20T12:32:00.001-05:00

Everyone following the recession and its impact on high performers has been waiting for this day. We have expected it, warned of its arrival, and wondered when it would come. It has arrived.

A look at the headlines of the Wall Street Journal's Management page indicates the stampede of high performers toward the exits has begun.

They are leaving the companies that kept them employed during the height of the recession for greener pastures. They are leaving for positions with more authority or to start their own businesses. Some are leaving to take a break from the high-pressure jobs they've had in recent years. A few are leaving because they were kicked out, but they aren't like the top performers you should be concerned with.

Have your top performers left yet? If not, are you enticing them to stay? Are you doing enough?

If you are not enticing top performers to stay, know that your competitors will entice them to their greener pastures.

Twitter is making me skeptical of thought leaders

2011-04-18T09:59:00.002-05:00

I love Twitter. I love connecting with people all over the world--most are interesting and generous with their knowledge. At least the people I follow are that way--interesting and generous.

I have chosen each "follow" carefully upon quick reviews of each profile. While I may have missed a few here or there, for the most part, I review profiles before re-following and prior to initiating a Twitter relationship.

Upon reviewing about a dozen profiles this morning, I noticed about half called themselves "thought leaders." Their use of the word startled me because it seems like something others should say rather than something one should say about oneself.

The word prompted me to dig a little deeper to see if they were indeed "thought leaders."

Not that I am in charge of assigning such a label as "thought leader" for everyone else, I can do so for myself. So, I assigned the label to just two of the people whose profiles and web sites I viewed. I am glad to know about those two folks and anticipate learning from them in future tweets.

What made them thought leaders? Their posts, profiles, and web sites showed them to be original (not one Zig Ziglar motivational quote among them), thought-provoking, fresh thinkers.

Surely, we all can agree that those who only post quotes from others, whether they are business experts, self-help gurus, or musical artists, are not "thought leaders."

What do you think: is it appropriate to label oneself a "thought leader"? Or, is that label better left for others to use?

Perhaps the term implies different things to different people--what does it imply to you? Your input could help reduce my skepticism of thought leaders in the future.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?

2011-04-13T09:14:00.002-05:00

The "free milk" analogy my Irish grandmother used to say came to mind when a client shared her recent experience of "putting out." My client, Jill, has been in a long-term relationship but lamented about how "putting out" is not leading anywhere. Aha, just like my Irish grandmother said!

Jill is not a high school girl learning to maneuver the dating world. She is a forty-something executive maneuvering the corporate world.

Jill is frustrated about doing the work of three people without being rewarded for it. In September, three departments merged under one VP. Jill was the one to remain, and the other two were transitioned out. At the time, Jill did not want to rock the boat by asking about aligning her compensation with her responsibilities. So, she's been doing it without complaint, without a significant raise, and without an increase in resources. And, the company has not acknowledged it.

While we could discuss whether a man would have demanded a raise at the time, my question is, "Why should the company acknowledge it?"

Why would the company buy the cow when they are getting the milk free?

Jill's expectation that the company would eventually realize what an outstanding contribution she is making--and she is!--is risky and cowardly. As I've said often, including in the book Put Your Whole Self In!, the cross-your-fingers-and-hope plan rarely yields big results. When Jill is ready to do something about her current situation, she will need to talk with her boss about aligning her compensation and responsibilities.

High performing companies who want to keep their high performing people pay attention to them. Whether it is the president whom Jill reports to or the VP of HR, someone should be aware of the disparity between Jill's responsibilities and compensation. And, they should honor her by fixing it.

To answer the question, the company should "buy the cow" because eventually that cow is going to quit giving free milk. It might even give sour milk, while telling all the other cows in the field to do the same thing.

Fancy perks are not enough--just ask Google

2011-04-08T15:11:00.001-05:00

Google, the darling of the tech world and oft-cited king of employee engagement proved over the past several months that fancy perks are not enough to keep talented people.

Google employees get so many on-site perks, they call it the Googleplex. Some of the perks, in addition to the slide between floors pictured, include the following:

salon with free hair cuts
well-equipped gym with swim-in-place pools
medical staff
laundry and dry cleaners
games like ping pong and pool
private communication pods (pictured below)

The most famous perk is the 20% time each person can dedicate to special projects of their choosing.

The perks certainly are attractive. In 2007 and 2008, Google was ranked the #1 Best Company to Work For by Fortune magazine. Upon announcing in February that it would add 6,000 jobs this year, Google received 75,000 applications. Clearly, some people want to work there.

Unfortunately, Google hires high-caliber, talented people, and many of them do not want to stay.

Since 2008, Google has ranked the #4 Best Company to Work For. More than 15% of Facebook's staff is made up of former Google employees. Google's stock declined more than 4% last year.

What has happened?

Google lost its focus. It lost its entrepreneurial edge and way of thinking. It became too silo'ed and structured and process-focused, which stymied innovation. Creative, innovative people want their ideas pushed forward not bogged down in paperwork. Former employees express frustration about Google's lack of accountability, which caused delays, errors, and lost competitive advantage.

Being able to get good work done is important to Google's employees. It is more important than free hair cuts, pool tables, and free laundry. Earlier this week, Google named a new CEO, and today, he revamped Google's management team. The new CEO, Larry Page, seems aware of the fact that fancy perks are not enough to keep talented people.

Do you?

(Sources: www.money.cnn.com and www.bloomberg.com)

2011-03-27T21:40:00.002-05:00

All-In Person of the Weekend:

Alonzo Mourning, former NBA star for the Miami Heat stopped busy Miami traffic Friday (March 25, 2011). He jumped out of his SUV, stood in the road and stopped traffic, while a wheelchair-bound pedestrian made it to the median. After making sure the citizen was safe, Mourning headed to his SUV to the sound of cheering fans! Way to go Alonzo!

Alonzo Mourning All-In Story

All-Out Person of the Weekend:

Also on Friday, it was reported that Ina Garten, the Food Network's "Barefoot Contessa" turned down a request from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. She was contacted about a six-year-old boy suffering from leukemia who wanted to cook with her, and she denied the request. Apparently her reps said something to the effect of her being unable to meet every person who wants to meet her.

A Business Insider story quotes Garten's rep saying,"despite her demanding schedule, [Ina] participates and helps as many organizations as she can throughout the year, helping children and adults like Enzo with life threatening and compromising illnesses."

Sure, she is busy! But, is this really about being busy? Or, is is about being generous, kind, and humble?

Don't worry about the little boy. He's decided to swim with dolphins and is already taking the necessary lessons to make that wish come true.

Barefoot Contessa Shuns Make-A-Wish

Reader Query...

What do you think about the Barefoot Contessa turning down the wish?

Understandable--she's busy! Or, Rude--get over yourself!

A mouse can bring you the world

2011-03-25T11:21:00.000-05:00

Through a few clicks of a mouse, you can connect with people from all over the world. You can connect with family you only see every few years, industry experts you've admired for years, politicians you love to hate, people who share your love of football, reading, yoga, or Star Wars. You can connect with like-minded souls who inform, inspire, and influence you daily.

Here's a Twitter video that explains it all. Enjoy!

Reader Query...
What has been your experience? Have you connected with people met online? Have virtual friends turned in to real-life friends, business colleagues, clients?

Loyalty is a two-way street

2011-03-23T10:08:00.002-05:00

Loyalty is a two-way street, and it begins with the organization’s treatment of the employees when they join. The organization sets the tone for the relationship, and Human Resources (HR) is most often serving as the organization’s representative in setting the tone.

HR is the early link between the new person and the organization. As such, it is HR’s responsibility to set a positive tone for the relationship. It is HR’s job to get the employee to fall in love with the company through the interview process and upon starting their career there.

But, don't put the whole burden on HR's shoulders.

It is often HR’s job to help initiate a successful relationship between the new person and her manager; however, building a bond between the organization and employee rests primarily with the hiring manager.

It is widely known, thanks to Marcus Buckingham’s studies revealed in his book First Break all the Rules, that people join companies for the type of work, opportunities, leadership, and benefits. But, they leave because of the daily interaction with their immediate manager.

The immediate manager and teammates impact how engaged new people are, how productive they are, and how long they stay that way. You can get them started on the right foot by implementing a professional New Employee Orientation (NEO).

Most organizations do not have money or time for on-the-job initiations of new employees. Budgets are way too tight for that! They need people to get up to speed quickly.

Companies need the benefits of a professional NEO, as explained below.

1. Decreased turnover

2. Faster contribution time for the new person

3. Decreased disruption for coworkers and managers of new person

4. Realistic understanding and expectations of the new job

5. Reduction of mistakes made my new people and those teaching them

6. Increased pride in the new company and its leaders

7. Increased engagement

8. Increased tenure with the organization

It takes more than Human Resources to bring new people on board effectively and to build employee loyalty. The immediate teammates, coworkers, and managers have more long-term impact than HR. Extend your NEO beyond the required HR-related information to build relationships, loyalty, and results.

Reader Query...
What have you found most useful in NEOs you've experienced as the new person or manager?

Just doing their jobs

2011-03-16T15:07:00.002-05:00

Every employee faces emergencies. Some of them are life-threatening, most are not. Some risk loss of money and markets, many do not. Some workplace emergencies are caused by natural disasters. Others are caused by people under-performing or over-reacting.

The difference between companies who thrive after emergencies and others is often how its people respond to emergencies.

Think about your typical responses and reactions when faced with a crisis.

When faced with life-threatening emergencies, what do you do? When faced with an emergency in which your organization could lose money or market position, what do you do? When faced with minor inconveniences, what do you do?

A few examples...
In a financial services office, a financial adviser slammed his office door and threw his laptop when the market closed down recently. At an advertising agency, the creative director yelled at the account services manager when the client delayed the project again. At a restaurant yesterday, I noticed someone yelling at the host for taking too long to seat his group.

My first thought yesterday was that the restaurant patron obviously would not do well in a crisis. The others probably would not either. They can't handle themselves professionally, or even kindly, in the less-than-life-threatening situations they were in; therefore, they probably cannot control their emotions when faced with a real crisis at work or in life.

Thankfully those people not one of the 180 in Japan risking their lives confronting the disaster at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant.

There are 180 people whose jobs it was to stay behind when the rest of the plant, and nearby town, evacuated. These people are highly skilled and thoroughly trained nuclear scientists, engineers, and operators. They knew in training that it would be their jobs to stay behind to prevent, manage, and combat a disaster such as what they are facing today.

The 180 are being hailed as heroes in Japan and around the world. In their culture, they are just doing their jobs.

In American culture, would we consider putting our lives on the line for coworkers part of our jobs? Oh, sure, the military does. But, what about the rest of us? Would you risk your life to save your boss? Department admin? Sales team? Accounting department? It takes a special person to be willing to do that.

Maybe the rest of us could simply include being more patient, responsive, proactive, and positive with our coworkers as just doing our jobs. Patient, responsive, proactive, positive people are quite rare in workplaces today. It takes a special person to be willing to be those things every day. We could take a lesson from the 180 Japanese heroes to make being selfless just part of our jobs.

(Information from www.CNN.com)

Secret Millionaire: Something doesn't feel right

2011-03-09T09:38:00.003-06:00

Three nights ago, ABC aired the first episode of its new series Secret Millionaire. In this episode, Dani Johnson went undercover as a volunteer in non-profits she happened to come across while in Knoxville TN. At the end of the episode, she returned to each of the three and gave them donations. Everyone cried, including me.

While it seems like Ms. Johnson's heart was in the right place (she came across as a very sincere, caring person), the premise of the show is nagging at me three days later.

Founders of The Love Kitchen

One of the nagging questions is "Who should be the real stars of the show?" Ms. Johnson was clearly the star, but should it have been Ellen and Helen, pictured at right, the sisters who founded The Love Kitchen? Are people more interested in those actually doing the work or those who write the checks? How would a show about Helen and Ellen fare on television today? Not well, I'm afraid, and that nags at me.

A second nagging question is "Why did the millionaire have to be a secret?" Was there concern at ABC about the nonprofits behaving differently if they had known it was really like a game show? Why did it have to be a set-up? For some reason, that felt deceitful. When Ms. Johnson arrived at the locations to dole out checks, it felt like she was riding in on a horse to save the day--as if writing a check was more important than everything else those doing the work had been doing. Even Ms. Johnson seemed uncomfortable telling those she met that she really wasn't one of them, that she had "boot-strapped it, baby!" and made something of herself. It was awkward and seemed unnecessary.

Speaking of "boot-strapping, baby", the implication was that it would only take two years of hard work to become a millionaire is the third nagging issue.

Ms. Johnson said on the show that she was homeless at 21 and a millionaire at 23. She said she became a millionaire by "boot-strapping it, baby." A quick Google search reveals a little more to her story, including that the money was made from 90% cold calling in an MLM company, then selling books and tapes about how to make cold calls. There was no mention on the show about how the millions were made, other than when Ms. Johnson said she "boot-strapped it, baby."

The implication that she worked harder than those who received the donations is nagging three days later. If those folks receiving meals from The Love Kitchen, or those poor folks who run it, would just "boot-strap it, baby," they could turn their lives around. It was crystal clear that Helen and Ellen were boot-strappers and had made something of themselves, even if they were not millionaires. The positioning, by ABC more so than by Ms. Johnson, of the secret millionaire being more important, or more valuable, than those running the nonprofits does not feel right.

I cried a lot during the show. I cried when the secret millionaire went to each nonprofit and met the people who were giving and those receiving. I cried at the end when checks were given. I cried when she hugged the sisters at the kitchen, the little girl who's room was redecorated, and the students at the music school. So three days later, it is annoying that something about the show doesn't feel right.

So what?

Why does this matter to a corporate leader, small business owner, or professional? It matters because the show had high ratings and is likely viewed by corporate leaders, small business owners, and professionals. The premise may seem off to me, but if you are going to watch the show going forward, you might want to consider the following:

Who are your role models? What have they done to earn your emulation?
How do you inspire others to want to model you?
Actions show priorities. Do your actions match your words?

What do you think about the show's premise? What am I missing?

More info about the show and the nonprofits

Do you have anything in common with Charlie Sheen?

2011-02-28T11:32:00.004-06:00

Who is this?

He is talking a lot about his awesomeness this week.
He thinks he cured a long-standing issue with just his brain and his alone.
He proclaims himself to be too complicated for anyone to understand.

If you guessed Charlie Sheen, you'd be right. If you guessed the ego-maniacal leader in your office, you'd be right too.

While Charlie Sheen is a celebrity constantly in the news lately, others have similar self delusions. You've heard people at work take credit for someone else's work? You've had executives, or dates perhaps, who think they are so complex they are hard to figure out. You've had coworkers who want to rush through solutions without research, trials, or input from others.

Charlie Sheen thinks he is bigger than life, that everyone wants to be him, and that he is more special than everyone else. But he is not alone. He's just on morning shows talking about it. His self-hype may be caused by long-term addictions, but there could be other causes as well--for him and for the manager at your workplace.

Delusions of grandeur could be caused by never being told "no," by being surrounded by people who reinforce the perception, or by being sheltered from the bigger world out there. There could be many causes of it. The point here is that the actor is in the spotlight about it, while others have similar views of themselves privately. Some people are making fun of the actor, others feel sorry for him. We all could use a self-check to ensure we are not as blinded as he appears to be.

So, how do you know if you've got the Charlie Sheen disease of self-delusion? Here are 11 ways to tell if you are deluding yourself, a la Charlie Sheen:

If your conversations, blogs, tweets, and posts are about you 90% of the time, you may be infected.
If people withdraw from being around you, you may be infected.
If no one lists you as one of their top 365,947 role models, even in your field of expertise or family, you may be infected.
If you actually say things like, "No one understands me," you might be infected. (No one is that complicated; get over yourself.)
If people respond to you with statements like, "Really? You think that?" you may be infected.
If you are excluded from meetings, lunches, and gatherings with people you think are less than you, you may be infected.
If web sites and blogs (or coworkers at the water cooler) talk about your delusions of grandeur, you may be infected.
If your friends during a time of crisis are un-respected egomaniacs, you may be infected.
If your behavior has made you the joke of the office and people want to be around the same way they want to watch a car wreck, you may be infected.
If you are unable to rally support for your ideas, causes, or jobs, you may be infected.
If you think you are more newsworthy than US military fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq, you may be infected.

If you find yourself infected with the Charlie Sheen disease of self-delusion, the best solution is to look yourself in the mirror...ah, never mind, you'd just get stuck there.

If you find yourself infected, you'd probably deny it anyway; however, that doesn't mean it is not true. You might not see it yourself, but those around you see it and eventually will disengage completely, lose respect, and cut ties. Perhaps that look in the mirror would be worth your time after all, just in case.

(Any other questions to ponder to discover if you have the Charlie Sheen disease of self-delusion? Share in the comments section.)

Be careful what you wish for

2011-01-19T19:55:00.003-06:00

I did not see the Golden Globes telecast Sunday, but I knew Ricky Gervais was the host. I did not know who most of the nominees were, had not seen most of the nominated movies, and still do not know who won. But, I knew in advance Ricky Gervais would be the host, and I knew he'd tip-toe on the line between clever and acerbic.

If someone as out of touch with the event as me could anticipate how Gervais would perform, wouldn't the organizers of the event do so as well?

The organizers did know what to expect with Gervais as host, especially since he hosted the same event last year.

They invited him and wanted him to walk that fine line, and he did. Be careful what you wish for.

Gervais got a little too far over the line and was too mean-spirited, according to reviews of the event. Now, some of the superstars who were offended by Gervais's jabs are not pleased, which means they could avoid the event in the future. (Remember a few years ago when big stars did not attend awards shows? They were even more boring than they are now!)

Once you get what you asked for, you can't backtrack. You have to face the consequences.

The Golden Globes are just one example.

What about when the project you bid on comes through and you need to form a bigger team, work late for days on end, and invest big bucks before being reimbursed--be careful what you wish for. Don't complain about the bigger team, longer hours, or investment because you wished for all of that when you wished for the project.

What about when you are arguing with someone close to you and know you are right, so you keep arguing until the other person shuts down--be careful what you wish for. Don't be surprised when the other person shuts down or tunes you out for the rest of the day because you wished for all of that by wishing to win the argument.

Be careful what you wish for, and while you're wishing, think it through to be sure you're wishing for the right things. There's no backtracking later, so make wise wishes.

2011 brought to you by the letter "R"

2011-01-04T09:41:00.004-06:00

Each Sesame Street show is famously brought to you by one of the letters of the alphabet. Along the same line, this new year is brought to you by a letter too: the letter R. This one year is a segment of our lives after all.

Kick off the new year by committing to these R words for the year:

Reflect
Resolve
Risk
Reward

Reflect daily about the good things in your life, your contributions to the world that day, who you made smile,what you are thankful for. It seems people tend to get absorbed in the negative too often--who makes us mad, who is annoying, what we don't have. Focus a little bit of time at the end of each day reflecting on the good things in your life. (This is like the Mirror Test in Put Your Whole Self In!)

Resolve to do better. Resolve to be the person you really see yourself as. Have you ever noticed people often say, "That's not who I am!" after they make a mistake or do something they are not proud of? For example, a student last semester told me he blew off studying for his final and was disappointed in himself. He said, "I am a hard worker. Blowing off finals is not who I am." In very kind terms, I told him it is who he is right now. He may not like it, he may want to be someone else, but he has to face the consequences of being who he is right now. And, he can do better next time. Resolve to be who you want to be, rather than who you used to be or who you wish you were.

Risk more often. Wisely, of course. Let this be the year you refrain from second-guessing yourself. Take chances when pursuing new business, reaching for a new career goal, building professional and personal relationships. Put yourself out there just a little bit more and see what happens. You might be surprised by the results that come from stretching yourself.

Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Rather than wait for someone else to acknowledge something good you've done, reward yourself. Management may not know what you did, clients might not realize the burden their last-minute changes had on you, friends and family might not see the behind-the-scenes effort that went in to the event you hosted. Don't expect others to reward you: reward yourself. Reducing the expectations of others in this regard will reduce the pressure on the relationships and might reduce your stress level too.

If you ponder the letter R throughout the year, and you reflect, resolve, risk, and reward yourself, your year will be tRemendous!

Reader Question:
What R words would you add to the list?

The most UN-selfish move an athlete could make

2010-12-09T09:09:00.002-06:00

If you haven't heard of him yet, you will.

You'll be hearing a lot about Keith Fitzhugh this week because he just made a decision everyone says they would make, but few actually do. He just made what his agent called "the most unselfish thing I've heard by a player in sports." At a time when most news stories are about athletes getting arrested, pouting on the sidelines, or living large, this twenty-four-year-old is in the news for being remarkable.

Keith Fitzhugh turned down an offer to join the New York Jets to remain a conductor with Norfolk Southern Railroad.

Why oh why would someone do that?!

Keith did it because he gets a steady paycheck every two weeks, and that paycheck helps take care of his parents. His father is disabled, and his mother works hard to make ends meet. Keith helps support them, and a steady paycheck is important. If he signed with the Jets now, he could be released in a few weeks, left without a paycheck at all. He's already been through that--twice.

He said, in an article linked from ESPN, that he wants to do what is best for his family in the long-term.

He gave up the chance to join a potential Super Bowl team for the more steady paycheck which supports his family.

Would other twenty-somethings make the same choice? In fact, would thirty- or forty-somethings?

People say they put their family first, but when it comes right down to it, actions speak louder than words. People say their family comes first, yet they don't visit their aging parents for weeks at a time. They say their children come first, yet they text or talk on the phone while little Susie plays soccer. They say their family is their priority, yet they disparage their spouse to anyone who will listen.

People say their family is important, yet they extend meetings past business hours, travel for work unnecessarily, and waste time at work on weekends. Sure, meetings go past 5:00pm, business trips are important, and weekend work is required sometimes. However, sometimes meetings and weekend work are caused by lack of efficiency more so than need, and business trips are sometimes taken to boost one's ego rather than out of necessity.

Keith Fitzhugh's actions show his truth. His actions show his family really is the most important thing in his life. When your actions are consistent with your words, especially when faced with a difficult decision, you can't get more All-In than that.

(Link to ESPN article and video)

I met Frank Sinatra. Mr. Sinatra was a friend of mine. You're no Sinatra.

2010-12-01T09:58:00.010-06:00

Frank Sinatra is known for saying, "This is my world. You're all just guests here."

Too many people have been imitating Mr. Sinatra lately, and I'm not talking about singing or acting or romancing.

Too many people act like they are the only ones who matter, and the rest of us are their guests. We live in a society where people are oblivious to others, and that is causing isolation, silos, and narcissism.

A few examples...

The elderly woman who rammed my car told me, "I decided to get a cake at the grocery store and almost missed the entrance." The grocery store was on my right, and she was on my left. So, she just acted on her decision as if I wasn't there. Was she oblivious to the fact that others are on the road at the same time, or did she just not care?

The high school swim team practices at the local YMCA and enters the locker room without toweling off. They get water all over the floors and benches and never wipe it up. An elderly woman slipped, fell and hurt her hip, yet the swimmers do not alter their behavior. Are they oblivious to the fact that others use the locker room too or do they just not care about anyone else?

Some men were meeting at a coffee shop discussing the new cars coming out for the next year. I overheard three of them talking about which new model they were planning to purchase, and I noticed the fourth man did not chime in with his new car intentions. By the end of their meeting, it was clear the fourth man had been laid off recently. Were his friends oblivious to how he might feel or not friends at all?

The culture of oblivion is so prominent, ABC has a television series dedicated to it. What Would You Do? puts people in awkward situations and wonders how they will respond. One episode had a waiter insult gay couples to see if other restaurant patrons would speak up. The waiter and couples were in on the show. Another episode had teenagers bullying each other to see if adults walking by would step in. There have been episodes involving couples, parents and children, elderly drivers, drunk medical professionals in a wide variety of situations we're all faced with on a regular basis.

Watching the show, one would think, "Of course, I would say something!" But, when it comes right down to it, do you really speak up? Or, perhaps you say something at the time, then turn right around and do something equally as oblivious to others the next minute. Or, perhaps you don't even notice something untoward is going on in the first place because you're oblivious to your surroundings.

We are living at a time when people are very self-focused, which may be a natural response during a recession that includes loss of jobs, foreclosed homes, stressed out families, budget cuts at home and work, depressed neighbors, etc. Maybe going through all of that causes people to hunker down and focus on their own situations.

The problem is that such hunkering down causes people to become oblivious to others.

How can we move our country, workplaces, families, lives forward if we're oblivious to those around us? We can't. Wake up! Pay attention! There are other people out there suffering, celebrating, learning, doing, being, hanging on, thriving, crying, giving, laughing, needing, teaching. Don't be oblivious to them!

If you want others to pay attention to you, do not be oblivious to others. If you don't want to be treated like a guest in someone else's world, don't treat people like they are guests in yours.

3 Lessons from a two-toed, small town, high school quarterback

2010-11-12T12:27:00.005-06:00

The past six months of Dylan Fink's life have been gruesome and triumphant.

The gruesome part was when a combine sliced through both of his feet, leaving him only two toes.

[brief pause for you to ponder that for a minute...]

An article in today's Kansas City Star (linked below) shares Fink's story from the combine slice to tonight's triumph. Tonight, Fink leads his eight-man high school football team to the semifinals as their quarterback. The article shares details of Fink's recovery, return to school, and return to the football field.

It is nice to learn about a teenager with character at a time when most teens complain if they don't have a cell phone. Imagine their reaction if eight toes were sliced off their feet? But, Fink is not "most teens." He is someone special, and we can learn from him and the story.

Three things we can learn from the quarterbacking teenager:

#1. Playing for your team matters. Fink's recovery stayed ahead of schedule because he wanted to play football with his friends. He's not doing it for money or fame. He's doing it to contribute to the team, a team of his friends.

Isn't there something workplace teams, and those who assemble them, could take away from that? People want to contribute, they want to be on the team.

#2. Fighting to be on the team matters. Fink worked hard to return to his team. He didn't even walk the first week after the accident, and the first time he tried lasted only a few seconds. The young man worked hard to go from not walking to scoring nine touchdowns in the season. His teammates know he worked hard. It showed them how badly he wanted to be on the team. They had to work hard to earn what Fink was fighting for. They knew Fink was fighting to be on the team, and they had to make it a team worth fighting for. His fight inspired them.

Could workplace teammates do the same? Workplace team members certainly know how each other feels about the team, so couldn't one of them inspire the rest toward higher performance? Of course they can.

#3. Prioritizing fun over profit can pay off. Sam Mellinger wrote in the article, "Sports are hard to hug sometimes. Players cheat. Coaches lie. Too many use success for ego and entitlement and greed. Profit is prioritized over fun, every stadium is a TV studio, every message comes with an agenda. Sometimes the whole thing can suppress character as much as cultivate it..."

When companies bombard employees with messages relaying ego, entitlement, greed, and agendas, the employees know it and are not inspired by it. Employees want to play for the team, but they do not want to play for some high level executive's fancy car. Fink says. “Being out there with my team, I feel like I’m accomplishing a lot.” Workplace team members want that same feeling.

Fink's character was cultivated long before the combine sliced off his toes. The combine slicing just gave him a chance to show it. It also gave us the chance to learn from the two-toed, small town, high school quarterback.

What do you think? Can workplace teams learn from the young quarterback?

__________
Please click here for the full article: Kansas City Star article by Sam Mellinger

UPDATE:
The Miami Eagles team was defeated by St. Joseph Christian, 22-30, in their final game of the season. Congratulations to Dylan and his teammates for a valiant effort.

Perception: what you see is what you get

2010-11-03T09:12:00.004-05:00

A headline in this morning's news got my attention:
CBS 'The Early Show' executive producer David Friedman doubles the size of his office while staff face layoffs and cost cuts

The article, on the New York Post web site (1), reveals the dismay felt by the remaining staff. Apparently Mr. Friedman, son of a top CBS executive, flew to London to fire staff there a month prior to expanding his office.

Mr. Friedman has two things working against him: he recently laid off people and he is the son of an executive.

He should expect to be scrutinized. As an executive himself, he should be aware of others' perceptions and how they are formed. Now, he should expect backlash for his decorating decision.

They say perception is reality. The perception that Mr. Friedman is insensitive to effects of layoffs, aloof, and a poor decision maker could be defended by him and his supporters; however, the reality is that he'll have to deal with that perception. He will have to purposefully overcome the perceptions of himself if he intends to be productive and influential at CBS going forward.

Why bother?Mr. Friedman should bother because perception affects judgment, which affects behavior. Perception is "the process of interpreting and understanding one's environment."

The staff of "The Early Show" interpreted Mr. Friedman's actions and will base decisions about him on their interpretation, just as employees all over the country do in their own offices daily. People respond to others based on their own perception of them and the environment.

A manager whose first words of the day are, "Don't talk to me until I've had coffee!" will be perceived as less calm, friendly, or reliable than a boss who arrives in a satisfactory mood. A project manager who exclaims, "Why can't those architects finish on time?" every time there is a client delay will be perceived as inflexible and not service-oriented.

To ensure the perceptions others have of you is positive and productive, ensure your actions are congruent with your intentions. Their perceptions will impact your influence, so impact the perceptions carefully, consciously, and cautiously. Since what you see is what you'll get, awareness of others' perceptions can lead to more influence and productivity. Or, less.

[What do you think? Have you worked for someone who made a similar mistake as Mr. Friedman? Were the perceptions similar or different? Did the manager overcome negative perceptions following the mistake? Your comments would be welcome and appreciated.]

POST SOURCES:
1. The article can be found here: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/staff_office_early_layoffs_executive_dfDQ0jg8F581zxUYuUVx5M?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME=
2. Management; Kinicki and Williams; McGraw Hill 2009)

Where should a leader's head be?

2010-10-31T19:21:00.002-05:00

The sand or clouds: Which is the better location for a leader's head?

A head in the sand means the leader avoids facts which might be uncomfortable to face. Perhaps they don't want to admit a mistake, or own a bad decision, or have to deal with the same issue again. When leaders do not want to hear bad news, their people often alter reports to reflect the most positive facts possible.

Be wary when the only good news you're hearing is along the lines of "we spent 50% less on proposal printing last month," or "client meetings cost 25% less last quarter." It may be uncomfortable to learn the long-term client cut her budget by half or fewer sales reps made it through to the bid phase of the sales cycle, but the sooner you find out, the sooner you can act to change those results.

It is difficult to manage or motivate others while one's head is in the sand. You risk losing your leadership role, whether formally or informally, by avoiding facts and discomfort. So, it seems keeping one's head in the sand is not the best option.

A head in the clouds keeps leaders from acting to change results too.

Lofty, impossible goals work against most leaders. People like to be set up for success and they resent being held to impossible goals. For example, when a sales team hits its numbers for one year, and the numbers are doubled for year two, there's little chance of hitting year two's numbers. The sales reps will be de-motivated because of the silly objectives. While it's wise to have higher objectives to challenges the sales team, goals set without explanation other than one's head is in the clouds rarely are achieved.

The best place for a leader's head is firmly on her shoulders. Be informed of the facts, use a reliable process for decision making, be open to changing what does not work, and focus on progress.

Leaders should not avoid the truth about revenue, budget changes, or profit projections. They also should not expect ridiculous results and use group renditions of Kumbaya to achieve them. Leaders should not lose their heads in a crisis, blame others for failures, or panic about the future.

Burying one's head in the sand or keeping it in the clouds rarely inspires others or motivates them to be productive, innovative, or collaborative. But, the worst place for a leader's head is "where the sun don't shine." Keep your head firmly on your shoulders and you will be a more effective leader than many around.

Does being a team-player matter any more?

2010-10-24T13:28:00.002-05:00

Being a team-player used to mean you put the team first--ahead of personal needs or goals. If a teammate needed extra time in the gym, you went with him. If he needed to kick 50 extra field goals after practice, you shagged balls. If she needed to work on serves, you shagged volleyballs for her. It didn't matter if you had already worked out, were the highly touted quarterback, or already had your scholarship in hand and didn't need to work on serving. Teammates put the team first.

When today's NFL players score touchdowns, they flip, pump their chests, and point at themselves. Twenty years ago, players "acted like they'd been in the end zone before," to quote Lou Holtz. Players did not need the individual recognition because they played for the team.

What mattered was the final score of the game, not one play. What mattered was being there when a teammate needed you. What mattered was the team.

Sports teams and corporate project teams have much in common. Do today's teams share diminished appreciation of the team-player?

Do today's teammates put themselves ahead of the team?

There is a lot of finger-pointing going on among teams today. The pointers don't realize when one finger is pointed out, three more are pointing back. People are eager to hold others accountable--what a buzzword that is! The subconscious mindset seems to be, "Everyone else should just do their jobs! Do them really well so I can turn in a mediocre performance after watching Jersey Shore."

Mediocre team performance is accepted today because people know someone else will compensate for weak performers. Today, when a group hears the phrase, "There's no 'I' in 'team," nearly everyone in the room responds with, "But there is a ME!" The prevailing attitude is "me first."

Perhaps if more teammates were team-players instead of me-players, the teams would experience more success. Being a team-player matters to winning teams. It's the losers who don't get it.

[What do you think? Do today's teams prefer team-players or me-players? Share your thoughts.]

Who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

2010-10-13T09:21:00.001-05:00

The Peanuts comic strip was in the news for turning sixty years old recently, which prompts the question: who would you rather be: Charlie Brown or Lucy?

For sixty years, Lucy has been pulling the football out from Charlie Brown as he runs to kick it. She gets him to fall for the trick every time. Once he falls for the trick and winds up on his backside, Lucy mocks him for doing so. She mocks him for trusting her, for thinking they are friends, for believing in her one more time.

We are supposed to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but isn't Lucy the more pitiful character?

Sure, Charlie Brown ends up on his backside, embarrassed.

But, Charlie Brown believes in people. He sees value and goodness in people, even when they don't deserve it. He gives second chances. He roots for the underdog (or, under-tree--see the Christmas episode!). In the back of his mind, Charlie Brown must suspect that Lucy will disappoint him, but he continues to give her chances.

It is natural to feel sorry for Charlie Brown, but perhaps it is Lucy we should pity instead.

Is it better to be someone who roots for the underdog and gives people chances or someone who takes advantage of others and mocks them?

Would you rather be the one taking advantage of others or the one who believes in others? Who do you think would make the better leader in the long-term? Who do you think would make the better coworker? Who do you think will have the better impact on others?

Lucy might be the one pulling the football out from under Charlie Brown, but is Charlie Brown pulling off the bigger trick? Would you rather be like Lucy or Charlie Brown?

Are you on the band wagon?

2010-10-01T12:44:00.002-05:00

The Kansas City Chiefs are 3 and 0! Three weeks in to the new season, and the Chiefs have won as many games as they won the entire 2009 season. Every Friday is Red Friday, and this year, red is everywhere.

By the end of last year, there was very little red wore to celebrate the team each week.

As a casual observer but not rabid fan of the Chiefs, I've noticed the Chiefs' band wagon is pretty well occupied during the down times. There are thousands of loyal Chiefs fans, as evidenced by the vitriolic sentiments expressed after last year's horrible season. I've also noticed the band wagon is over-flowing since the 2010 season is off to a great start.

I'm an avid Notre Dame football fan. We are having the opposite problem this year: people jumping off the band wagon. People are jumping off ND's band wagon so fast, there's a national shortage of crutches from all the ankle injuries resulting from their leaps.

The Chiefs are having a great season, they don't need more fans this year. If you weren't a fan last year, don't come along now for the glory. If you weren't buying game tickets when they were as cheap as a date with Paris Hilton, don't bemoan their high cost this year.

You have to be there for the heartbreak to celebrate.

If you're jumping off the ND band wagon this year, or you jumped off during the three previous coaches, stay off. If you're not there to shed tears of anguish over losing, don't come back with eyes welled up in tears of joy when the team is winning. Be there now, or stay away.

You have to earn your spot on the band wagon, whether we're talking about the Chiefs or Fighting Irish.

The same is true in life.

What band wagons are you on? Who are you loyal to? Who is on your band wagon? Who is loyal to you?
Are you more loyal than some people deserve or reciprocate? Is it time to get off some band wagons?

You earn spots on band wagons by being there for others when times are tough. It's easy to support someone when they are successful and life is going smoothly, but true loyalty is shown during the tough times.

It is not fun and glamorous to be there for someone whose business is struggling, or someone with cancer, or someone who was laid off. But, that's when you are needed most.

Jump on the band wagon during the losing seasons so you can enjoy the sweetness of winning seasons.

Go Chiefs!
Go Irish!

5 Things Kayne West Can Teach Us About Apologies

2010-09-08T10:05:00.003-05:00

Have you ever embarrassed a coworker in front of others? Have you stolen someone's thunder? Have you stormed a stage during an awards ceremony because you thought someone else should have won?

Unless you're Kayne West, it's likely you answered "yes" to just two of those questions.

Mr. West stormed the stage during the VMAs last year when Taylor Swift was giving her acceptance speech for winning Best Female Video. He took the microphone from the stunned singer and proclaimed another artist should have won. The audience clapped in support of Ms. Swift once Mr. West exited the stage.

Mr. West was under a great deal of professional and personal pressure at the time of the awards ceremony.

Is being under pressure an excuse for stealing someone's moment?

Is being stressed an acceptable excuse for being rude?

No, it is not.

Although Mr. West spent the rest of the awards ceremony sulking, it did not take long for him to apologize. So far, he seems sincere in his apology and in his desire to make amends. He has taken positive steps that are worth learning from, including the following:

Apologize quickly. As soon as you realize you made a mistake, own it and apologize. Mr. West apologized within days of the incident, and he's repeated his apology throughout the year. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt to appear sincere.
Apologize to all affected by your error. Mr. West apologized to Ms. Swift, her family, friends, and fans. He also apologized to the awards show and to the other singer who was stunned to be mentioned in his rant.
Retreat. Mr. West admitted to being under pressure at the time, so he canceled a tour, stayed out of the public eye, and took care of his personal business.
Be true to yourself. Mr. West points out that he was an impressive dresser with an unimpressive attitude. Being true to yourself, or genuine, contributes to the sincerity of an apology.
Make amends. Mr. West revealed yesterday that he had written a song for Ms. Swift. "I wrote a song for Taylor Swift that's so beautiful and I want her to have it. If she won't take it then I'll perform it for her," West wrote. "She had nothing to do with my issues with award shows. She had no idea what hit her. She's just a lil girl with dreams like the rest of us." (SOURCE: www.RollingStone.com)

Mr. West's apologies have been straight-forward and specific. He has reached out to make amends and he seems sincere.

His actions are worth noting in a time when other celebrities, public figures, and corporations feign apologies.

The truth will be evident going forward. The 2010 VMAs are Sunday, so we'll all see what he does next.

Refrain from singing in the choir of complaints

2010-08-31T16:24:00.003-05:00

Marshall Goldsmith shared a stat based on some of his recent research:

Employees spend 15 hours a month bad-mouthing upper management or listening to someone else bad-mouthing upper management.

And, the companies are paying them to do it! (Safe to assume those conversations are taking place during work hours, right?)

Sure, companies are struggling to survive and thrive past the recession right now, and, sure, upper management may have made mistakes with how they handled the recession. However, that does not mean it is acceptable to blast them behind their backs. It may be tempting to join the choir of complaints levied about Management, but resist for the greater good.

Whose greater good? Yours!
Management most often learns who says what. One of the "choir members" will be sashaying up to Exec Corner any minute to tattle on the group. You risk losing Management's trust, as well as trust from the rest of the choir. After all, everyone knows if you bad-mouth to them, you'll bad-mouth about them.

Keeping your opinions to yourself also helps the greater good of the organization. If the company and/or customer are not going to benefit by what you have to say, it would be wise to resist the urge to say it.

In fact, Goldsmith offers these 4 questions to consider prior to disclosing your opinions:

Is what you want to say going to help the company?
Is it going to help your customers?
Will it help the person you are speaking to?
Will it help the person you are speaking about?

If the answers are No, No, No, No, don't say it!

Resist the impulse to reveal every thought that enters your brain. Resist the impulse to comment, or agree, with others' negativity. Resist the urge to blast Management behind their back. Such resistance will keep you out of the choir, but it just may help you join a better, more influential, group.

Corporate social responsibility: obligation or luxury?

2010-08-23T10:04:00.000-05:00

Today's Wall Street Journal includes an article titled "The Case Against Corporate Social Responsibility." The article, written in collaboration with MIT Sloan Management Review, posits that corporations server the greater good only when their profits increase as a result. When profits would decrease by serving the greater good, corporate social responsibility is overlooked.

One example sited in the article is fast-food company menu changes. More fast-food restaurants serve salad and healthy options today, a change seemingly caused by concern about wellness and health. The restaurants' profits from the healthy options sour. Does the financial windfall diminish the good? If profits were negatively impacted by offering healthy options, would the restaurants take them off the menu?

In another example, the article discusses pollution and auto manufacturing. Greatly reducing pollution at auto plants would be expensive, thus reducing profits. Since executives are hired to increase profits, solving the costly pollution problem is not pursued. Would it be in the company's best interest to let profit suffer for the sake of cleaner air?

Would diminished profits help or hurt the companies overall? How would it affect the country?

In addition to the financial impact of being socially responsible, there is the motivation behind the good deeds.

Should motive be considered when considering who you want to do business with or work for?

Is McDonald's less sincere in its social responsibility initiatives just because they benefit from them? Should they be punished or praised because of the changes they've made?

As you decide who to do business with, where to work, what products to buy, think carefully about corporate social responsibility. There is a case for it and a case against it. What's your bottom line?

Corporate social responsibility: obligation or luxury? Vote in the upper right corner of the blog.

(For the entire article: Wall Street Journal The Case Against Corporate Social Responsibility )

3 Ways to learn from "The Decision" and the aftermath of it

2010-07-09T11:35:00.004-05:00

Unless you have been under a rock over the past 48 hours, you know last night was the announcement of The Decision. ESPN had its hype machines working double-time to promote and cover LeBron James's decision about where he will play basketball next year. There was theme music, special graphics, a pre-game show, and plenty of commercial breaks during The Decision show.

At approximately 8:30pm/central, the twenty-five-year-old basketball superstar announced his decision to depart his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. At approximately 8:32pm, jerseys were set afire in Cleveland and champagne bottles were popped in Miami.

As an infrequent follower of the NBA (the team left Kansas City in 1985) but a steadfast student of human behavior, the whole spectacle was captivating.

From the hype to the reactions, there are a few take-aways for leaders and employees:

#1 Money is not a primary motivator today.

James made it clear that he wants to win championships. He could have stayed where he was, in his hometown, earning millions of dollars, being loved and fawned over everywhere. But he wants to be on a championship-caliber team, and he feels that level exists in Miami and not Cleveland. People today, in all fields, levels, ages, want to be part of something greater than themselves. James wants to be on a championship-caliber team.

What do your employees and teammates want?

It's not about the money!

In light of the current economic environment, employers should be thrilled to know motivation goes deeper than money. Leaders need to face that and adapt to what motivates people today. (Read Dan Pink's new book, Drive, for the research to back this up.)

What are you doing to keep your James-caliber employees motivated?

#2 Loyalty is not a one-time occurrence but it is a two-way street.

Some former James fans are calling him disloyal for leaving Cleveland. Some are saying he let the city, fans, and team down and owed it to his hometown to stay. The team's owner called him a deserter and former hero. Does he owe it to them to stay with a team he does not think will win championships? Does he owe it to them to remain with a team he does not see positioning itself to win? Does he owe it to others to forgo his personal goal of winning championships?

No, he does not. And, neither do your employees or teammates.

If you got a job offer for your dream job, wouldn't you consider it? Of course. Or, would you pass on your dream job simply because your current employer hired you right out of college? There is more to loyalty than a one-time move.

Organizations need to earn loyalty all the time.

What are you doing to ensure that your superstars want to be on the team? Employers, team leaders, department managers, and teammates trusting the philosophy that those kept on during the recession will stay out of loyalty are likely to be setting themselves up for disappointment.

As for loyalty being a two-way street, employees need to earn loyalty all the time too. Perhaps if the team felt more loyalty to James, they would have better positioned themselves for championships.For some reason, the team did not open the wallets to retain the caliber of players needed to surround James and form a championship team. The team made its decision and James made his. No one knows how it will turn out, but both have to live with the results of their decisions.

Are you positioned to retain your best talent? Is your best talent positioning you to win championships in your industry? What needs to happen on a regular basis to ensure effective retention and reliance on your teammates?

#3 Childish emotional rants reinforce negative opinions.

Within an hour or two of the James announcement, the team owner published an open letter to the Cavaliers fans. In the letter (link: http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/news/gilbert_letter_100708.html), team owner Dan Gilbert wrote:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

Gilbert, the one person in a position of power to keep James in Cleveland, intimated that James is the following:

Former hero
Deserter
Narcissistic
Self-promoter
Coward
Betrayer
Former "King"
Shameful
Selfish
Disloyal
Heartless
Callous
Cursed

There is a pencil-thin line between love and hate. But, before you print letters, publish proclamations, and promise results, get your emotions under control. Gilbert's letter reads like it was written by a nine-year-old sent to bed without dessert.

Name-calling and false guarantees only reinforce the player's decision to leave.

When someone leaves your team, how do you respond? Be careful. Others are watching and listening, and they know if you say it about a former teammate, you'd say it about them too.

In another part of the letter, Gilbert states he is even more motivated now that James is leaving. He says:

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

If it takes a teammate's departure to fire leaders up to win, then that says more about the leaders than the player--whatever the industry.

There are dozens of take-aways from the hype leading up the The Decision, to the event itself, and the reactions so far. If you ponder and implement based on the three discussed here, you will be a better leader and position your team for success better. And, you will do it without theme music, a television show, or hype. You can let your results speak for themselves.

In the meantime, Gilbert is slated to hold a press conference in about 30 minutes.It might be time to bury oneself under a rock for the next 48 hours.

3 Lessons to learn from others' poor judgment

2010-06-23T11:22:00.001-05:00

Tony Hayward ought to be calling 1-800-FLOWERS to have a big bouquet sent to General McChrystal. The card should read,

"Dear Stan, Thanks for using judgment worse than my own and for getting me out of the news. Love, Tony."

Hayward, of course, is the former BP executive in charge of the oil spill in its 65th day of ruining in the Gulf of Mexico. In the days leading up to the oil spill and immediately following it, Hayward's poor judgment included risking lives and livelihoods for the sake of a dollar, including deceased advisers in the plan to remedy the situation, botching oil containment, and most recently, enjoying a yacht race while eleven families mourned their loved ones who died in the blast which led to oil gushing in the Gulf.

What? A yacht race? Yes, Hayward made other more harmful lapses in judgment, but that one gives insight into just who Hayward is and who he thinks he is. BR replaced him this morning, which should give him insight into just who he is.

As for General McChrystal, the poor judgment that lands him on the front pages of news outlets an interview with Rolling Stone magazine in which he and his staff express dislike for President Obama and make fun of Vice President Biden. Being a non-military expert, I cannot speak to the General's judgment beyond this situation.

The General's apology (heck, at least he issued one, unlike his co-judgment-lapser Hayward) issued in a Pentagon statement said,

"I extend my sincerest apology for this profile. It was a mistake reflecting poor judgment and should never have happened," McChrystal said in a Pentagon statement. "Throughout my career, I have lived by the principles of personal honor and professional integrity. What is reflected in this article falls far short of that standard." (SOURCE: www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/06/23/general.mcchrystal.obama.apology/index.html?hpt=T1)

BP replaced Hayward, and General McChrystal apologized. Shouldn't all be forgiven and the news return to the latest The Bachelor breakup, World Cup games, and Apple products?

Not so fast.

Since these highly accomplished professional men made such egregious errors, let's assume there are folks out there who need a refresher when it comes to errors in judgment.

Take these three rules to heart to avoid the effect of poor judgment in the future:

Your reputation will carry you only so far. You can claim to live by high standards, but your behavior indicates otherwise, it is your behavior upon which you will be judged. Do not expect different.
Mistakes can be forgiven and forgotten when genuine remorse and concern are shown, but do not excuse yourself by saying things like, "We're all human. Everyone makes mistakes." Statements like that undermine an apology. Plus, they just sound whiny and unprofessional.
Never publicly disparage your bosses, or their bosses, even in jest. If you have to be told not to do that in front of a journalist, then your judgment truly is pitiful. People will bridge the gap between "wow, he thought it was okay to say that to a journalist" and "he must be unfit to perform his duties." Expect consequences if you break Working Rule #1.

General McChrystal is meeting with President Obama to discuss his future this morning. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that room! Actually, it would be just as interesting to be a fly on the wall of the room when the General spoke with his staff about their unprofessional comments in the article.

If the General loses his job over the comments he and his staff made, perhaps they ought to be sending him flowers today.

How to Put Your Whole Self In #5

2010-05-20T10:01:00.010-05:00

Put Your Curiosity In...

Notice how endearing it is when a three-year old asks, "Why?" a gazillion times? Even though it can be a little annoying at times, the curiosity is remarkable.

Imitate the child by asking, "Why?" and delving more to understand others better. Be curious and interested, and you'll be more interesting too.

Diane Sawyer, one of the book's all-in examples, says, "If there were rehab for curiosity, I'd be in it!"

She strives to learn 30 things before breakfast. Way to go, Diane!

_____________________________________________________

From the new book available now:

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way
Please click here for more information

If you found $20k, what would you do?

2010-05-17T15:42:00.003-05:00

An employee at a furniture liquidation business in Washington found $20,000 in the back of an old armoire. If you were he, what would you do?

A. Keep it and keep it a secret
B. Tell the store owners and split it with them
C. Find the original armoire owner and return the money

If you were the store owner, would you keep the money or would you find the armoire owner? If your employee turned in such a large sum, how would you respond to him?

Check back in 48 hours to see the end result of this true story...

---------------------
As you may have guessed, the store employee notified the store owners who identified the estate sale where the armoire was purchased. The $20k was returned to a very surprised family.

Way to go!

How to Put Your Whole Self In #4

2010-05-10T08:17:00.010-05:00

Put Your Nose In...

When you smell smoke, you run out of the house. When you smell cookies baking, you run into the kitchen. When you smell Crazy Aunt Ida’s perfume, you hide.

Listen to your nose when it comes to daily decisions that affect your goals. If something “smells wrong,” it is wrong for you. Trust your instincts and follow them.

________________________________

From the new book:

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way
Please click here for more information

How to Put Your Whole Self In #3

2010-04-26T08:48:00.004-05:00

Put Your Tears In...

Tears often well up in the eyes of people who feel happy or sad. Tears genuinely reflect deep emotion. How deeply are you tied to what you do each day--at home, work, church, school?If you have no tears to shed over the results, you might not be tied closely enough or might not be investing enough.

Go ahead, invest a bit more.

_________________________________

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way
Please click here for more information

How to Put Your Whole Self In #2

2010-04-21T09:04:00.003-05:00

Put Your Ears In...

Bodies are made with two ears and one mouth, so use them accordingly: listen twice as often as you speak. Pay attention to what others say, and do not say, so you can respond in the way most likely to achieve desired results. (Excerpt from the new book, Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way.)

Sales people are notoriously bad at listening; although, many think they are good at it. If your process includes a pre-planned pitch to deliver at your first meeting or phone call, you are not listening.

A sales rep for a copier company called me at my home-office recently. His very first words to me were, "Are you the person in charge of purchasing equipment?" The next sentence was about how much money he could save me if I purchased a new copier machine from him. I explained my work and that the maintenance required for a machine in my home would not save me money. He argued that it would.

If only that example was rare. You've probably had similar experiences. If you are a sales person, or if you need to sell your coworkers on your ideas, do not emulate those poor role models.

Listen more than you speak and you will improve the results of interactions with others. And, that helps you be all-in.
____________________________________

Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way

Please click here for more information

Leadership Run Amok at The Masters

2010-04-08T08:52:00.003-05:00

The Masters Golf Tournament, America's most important golf tournament, began in Georgia today. As is customary, the Augusta National Chairman, Billy Payne, held a press conference kicking off the event.

After discussing the roles legends Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer will play at the opening, Mr. Payne used his annual press conference to publicly admonish Tiger Woods.

See for yourself:

(Video from www.Telegraph.co.uk)

As an observer and commentator about leadership, Mr. Payne's admonishment struck me for several reasons:

Piling On. Was it necessary for Tiger's immoral behavior to be spotlighted at this opening event? Did Mr. Payne think his was the lone voice the world needed to hear from on the subject? We get it. He failed in his personal life. If Mr. Payne felt the need to discuss Tiger at all, he could have discussed Tiger's return to golf. Mr. Payne is, after all the leader of a golf tournament, not the leading moral compass for America.
False Outrage. Did Mr. Payne express disappointment in Tiger's behavior prior to Tiger's fall from grace? His outrage appeared tardy and phony.
Misplaced Outrage. When is Mr. Payne's concern about how women and minorities are treated in golf in general and at Augusta specifically going to be expressed? When asked about this as the press conference, Mr. Payne said the club was private. He is more upset about the world's greatest golfer's private life than he is about supporting discriminatory membership of a private club. Mr. Payne feels it is acceptable to proclaim outrage over a golfer's private life but not over a club's.
Errant Expectations. "Our hero did not live up to the expectations as a role model we sought for our children." Mr. Payne said during the press conference. As others have said over the last five months, proclaiming an incredible golfer a "hero" is just silly. If Mr. Payne set Tiger up to be a "hero" for his children, it is his own fault the expectations were not met.

While he did go on to discuss other topics, Mr. Payne came across like an executive who couldn't wait to have his moment in the spotlight, rather than as a leader with the tournament top-of-mind. When leaders put ego ahead of purpose, they tarnish the purpose. Mr. Payne tarnished the prestigious tournament because he considers himself more important than the tournament. He is a leader run amok, and the tournament has barely begun.

How to Put Your Whole Self In #1

2010-03-30T13:17:00.007-05:00

Put Your Brain In...

Knowledge is today's currency. Be the one with the most knowledge, and you'll be more valuable as organizations move forward.

____________________________________

Excerpt from the new book, Put Your Whole Self In! Life and Leadership the Hokey Pokey Way.
Available for $9.95
Click here for more information

If you lie, you are a liar

2010-03-24T13:07:00.000-05:00

Q: When is it acceptable to lie on an expense report?
A: Choose one...
       A: When you are the CEO
       B. When you are in Sales
       C. When you are a new employee and can claim not to know better
       D. Never!

If you are over the age of three, the "D" answer should be the obvious choice. Apparently, even beyond age three, some people think they are the exception to the rule.

If you lie on an expense report, you are a liar. It does not matter if you are the CEO, top salesperson, or newest member of the team. Even if the lie goes uncovered, you know the truth and you know you lied.

Once the lie gets discovered, your reputation is ruined. We're talking about lies, not mistakes here. You can recover from an expense account mistake, but a lie, especially a pattern of lies, does irreparable, often career-ending, harm.

For example, would you be embarrassed to learn an attorney called a fellow CEO in town to verify her attendance at a dinner you said you hosted? The attorney asked about a specific restaurant, date, time--there was no confusion about the occasion. But, the fellow CEO was not at that small dinner party. She was out of town. Now, the attorney knows you lied, the fellow CEO knows you lied, and anyone the CEO wants to tell knows too. Additionally, the people paying the attorney to investigate your expenses know you lied too.

Would it be worth it?

No matter what else you do, all of those involved--and many not involved but who find out--would know you are a liar.

Don't kid yourself, every interaction with them going forward would be tarnished by their lack of trust in you.

Don't kid yourself, some of those people would have suspected you were a liar for years.

Don't kid yourself, you would know you're a liar too.

Whether you are the CEO, top producer, or newest employee, lying makes you a liar.

Shiny Happy People Laugh all the Way to the Bank

2010-03-11T11:37:00.002-06:00

REM knew what they were talking about in the song Shiny Happy People. They sing of happy people being loved by everyone around. They sing of putting happiness in your heart. They sing of gold and silver shining. Shiny happy people holding hands; shiny happy people laughing...

Shiny happy people laugh all the way to the bank!

Research has continuously shown that happy employees yield positive results. Research in 2001, 2004, and 2005 conducted by the American Behavioral Scientist, the University of Michigan, and the Psychological Bulletin all show that when employees are happy, their companies benefit. Benefits include increased profits, higher customer satisfaction ratings, lower absenteeism, and more creative problem solving. The happier employees benefit by missing work less and receiving high performance evaluations (thus, raises) more.

The research has been around for years, yet some company leaders considered it fluff in the past.

What has changed lately is companies are running out of ways to get more out of people. They have milked their cash cows (their people) dry, so to speak. And, employees are miserable because of it. Job satisfaction is declining, which leads to declining productivity as well. "Why give my all to a company who doesn't care about me?" is often asked by high caliber employees. Why, indeed?

The way out of the recession, the way to improved financial performance, the way to long-term survival and success is through the people. Showing more understanding and genuine concern for people is profitable. Show your people they have a reason to give their all. They won't do it so you can have a bigger raise, fancier home, or special car. If you don't know their reason, get help to figure it out.Your competitors are.

Shiny happy people laugh all the way to the bank because their bosses figured it out--people before profits. Take care of your people and profits will come. Then, you too can laugh all the way to the bank.

Good sportsmanship or soft competitor?

2010-03-04T09:16:00.000-06:00

As the winningest player in Kansas University basketball history walked off the court of his final home game last night, the arena chanted and cheered their love for the team leader. Senior Sherron Collins said he didn't want the game to end. As he was leaving the court to an ovation from his home crowd, a player on the court for the opposing Kansas State team clapped along with the crowd.

Kansas State was losing by 20 points, so it was not a close game by the time the final thirty seconds ticked away. If you were still in the game, would you have cheered then or waiting to shake Collins's hand after the game? Does being on the floor matter?

Do you think the Kansas State player clapping showed good sportsmanship? Or, do you think the clapping showed weakness?

If you were the coach of the Kansas State player, what, if anything, would you say to him in the locker room after the game?

What are your thoughts: good sportsmanship or soft competitor?

The Arrogance of Poor Service

2010-03-03T10:32:00.000-06:00

It's only Wednesday but two examples of poor service have been brought to my attention already this week. These are beyond the usual rude checkout clerks we've come to anticipate but are surprised are rare occasions not to encounter. Being top-notch companies who proclaim themselves as service providers, their lack of service comes across as arrogant to me. What do you think?

The first example is at a highly regarded vision center. For the second time in a row, the patient was kept waiting for more than 30 minutes without being spoken to. After 45 minutes and an inquiry to the front desk, the patient was taken to a room in the back for a routine blood pressure check. He was told the doctor would be "right in." But, the doctor did not come right in. After 30 more minutes, the patient opened the door, put on his coat, and began to leave. A nurse asked if he would like to reschedule. He did not. It has been more than 48 hours and no one from the doctor's office has been in touch with this long-time patient.

Is the doctor's time more valuable than the patient's?If two incidents are the norm, which they might not be, it appears that blatant disregard for patients' time is the culture of this organization.

Have we all come to expect less of people who disrespect our time?

The other example is from a contemporary museum. A couple met with the catering/event manager about hosting a 70-person event at the museum. The manager was told budget is no issue and she promised to send a proposal. It's been more than two weeks since the promise was made and none was sent. She has not followed up in any manner about the event.

Perhaps rather than being arrogant, the event manager is overly busy tending to all the events being held. From what I gather around town, however, there is event space to be had and most restaurants appreciate a 70-person booking with an unlimited budget. Apparently the contemporary museum is disinterested in such an event.

Does the disinterest, lack of follow-up, and broken promise indicate arrogance? If the manager thinks the customer is going to call up begging for a proposal, that's about as arrogant as it gets.

Poor service is disrespectful to customers and coworkers who rely on you to build the business. If your business is not enjoying and endless supply of profitable clients, as the two companies here clearly are, make sure service is impeccable. Start by making sure the people with direct contact with customers are not arrogant and work from there.

Speaking in Platitudes is Lazy, not Leadership

2010-02-09T12:53:00.000-06:00

There is more to reaching goals and achieving success than visualizing dreams coming true. There is more to being confident than "fake it till you make it". There is more to overcoming obstacles than just putting one foot in front of the other. What if your feet are moving in the wrong direction, for example?

Speakers, authors, and Twitter posters who spew platitudes without insight or current research are lazy. So many people tweet quotes about achieving success, it's a wonder if they've ever had any at all.

Workplaces are full of framed posters depicting amazing feats illustrating a motivational thought. Meanwhile, managers are gossiping about each other, coworkers are backstabbing each other, and everyone is complaining about the weather. If the workplace leaders, whatever title they hold, do not behave in accordance with the values hung on the walls, the inconsistency is noticed and both poster and leader become a joke. A joke so prevalent, a whole company was created to mock the inconsistency by issuing de-motivational posters like the one shown. (www.despair.com)

Repeating inspiring words of others is not leadership. Doing so does not make people follow you. Well, except for in the twitterverse where it seems whoever googles the best quote du jour is considered the best leader to FFNow. (For the uninitiated, "FFNow" is a recommendation to "follow this person now", which is more important the a regular "follow".)

In real life, people expect words of wisdom to be congruent with actions. In real life, people notice when leaders "spew" instead of "do". In real life, people notice when eloquent quotations are more important than sincere salutations.

In real life, people see speaking in platitudes as lazy and phony. If you are a leader, remember to let your work and behavior speak for themselves more often than you let others' words speak for you.

Wow! That Takes Guts!

2010-01-27T11:23:00.003-06:00

When a teacher gets revenge against a bunch of practical-joke-playing students, he deserves the Wow! That Takes Guts Award!

High school teacher Mr. Joel Branstrom got the best revenge when students played a practical joke on him Friday--and it backfired.

Students told the Olathe Northwest science teacher and basketball coach he would win tickets to the NCAA Final Four game if he made a basket from half-court while blindfolded. What they didn't tell their teacher was the whole school was ready to cheer as if he made the shot, which would be impossible to make. Their cheers would lead him to believe he made the shot, only to find out it was all a joke played on their beloved teacher.

But, the joke was on the students instead!

Mr. Branstrom made the half-court shot blindfolded! Check out the video!

Mr. Branstrom's humility and love of basketball have earned him offers of tickets to the Final Four, which would be a terrific outcome for the teacher who was set up for a joke.

While making the impossible shot was stunning, Mr. Branstrom really gets the Wow! award for his humility during interviews after the event. He spoke of more important things going on in the world, while saying it's nice to have something to smile about. He did not jump around, point to himself, seek extra attention--like touchdown-scoring professional football players often do. He has been humble while enjoying his moment in the spotlight.

For turning a joke around on the students but especially for being fun, appreciative, and humble, Mr. Branstrom is this week's Wow! That Takes Guts! winner.

Does Relate-ability Lead to Ratings?

2010-01-20T10:03:00.004-06:00

Have you been there? Have you been in Conan O'Brien's shoes? Minus the $40 million payout for leaving, can you relate to what's happened to him the last two weeks?

After seven months as the host of The Tonight Show, Conan was asked to give up his dream job so Jay Leno, who held it before him and performed very well, could have it back.

Has something like that happened to you?

Have you ever been passed up for a promotion, even though you were the most qualified? Have you ever felt like your boss set you up to fail instead of succeed? Have you ever felt unappreciated or embarrassed by your organization?

I suspect many people can relate to Conan's situation and have tuned in to see how he'd handle it.

Since he's been expressing his dismay at the situation, people continue to tune in to his show. Just last Friday night, his ratings were 50% higher than a typical Friday and near the level of his biggest competitor, David Letterman. His ratings are up 80% in the highly desired young adult category.

Conan's ratings are soaring.

Is there a correlation between Conan's relate-ability and his show's ratings? Is there a correlation between how people feel about Leno and his show's performance? (I wonder why the network didn't realize a main reason Leno was successful at 10:30pm was because of convenience v. relate-ability, but that's a different article.)

There is probably a correlation between relate-ability and performance in your office.

Keep your promises and set your people up for success, and you'll meet the minimum standard of relate-ability.

Are you a James Cameron or a Leonardo Dicaprio?

2010-01-18T09:06:00.004-06:00

The Golden Globe Awards concluded last night with James Cameron's acceptance of the award for Best Picture of the Year. It also included Leonardo DiCaprio's reaction to the speech.

During his speech, Cameron told the Hollywood stars to give themselves a round of applause for having the greatest jobs in the world. Then, he told them to applaud themselves a second time for entertaining the world.

As if the awards shows are not self-aggrandizing enough, the award-winning director told everyone to applaud themselves even more!

During the brief speech, cameras turned to Leonardo DiCaprio, who put his hands down and did not applaud. The look of disbelief on his face was priceless, as if he were telling Cameron to get over himself.

Cameron seemed surprised at the lack of applause his instructions to applaud received. Very few people applauded either time.

Hollywood's in-crowd gets it. Nearly everyone else in the room understood how arrogant and untimely it was for Cameron to pat himself on the back and ask the same of Hollywood's elite.

Not all industries have awards like Hollywood does, but all have a few leaders with attitudes like Cameron's. Unfortunately, the Camerons of the world don't recognize themselves. But, the people around them do.

Ponder for a moment: are you are more like Cameron or DiCaprio?

Think about how others respond to you. Make sure you're not the Cameron in your office. Make sure others are not thinking you need to get over yourself, the way Leonardo DiCaprio seemed to be thinking of Cameron last night.

Leaders Help Others. Period.

2010-01-11T11:42:00.008-06:00

As many of you know, I have been a career transition coach for more than twenty years. Revenue for my business is generated elsewhere, as career coaching is something done on the side.

Last year, the tool I've used when coaching was made available using the "pay it forward" model. The tool, the Targeting & Tracking System (TTS), is free if you need it to be, but if you have $40 for drinks with your buddies, paying for the TTS is an option. Or, you could buy it for someone else and have it sent to them. All three options are cheerfully explained on the web site (http://bit.ly/5dyixj).

Last week, someone asked me about the pay it forward model. They could not believe the tool would be given away free to just anyone. There just had to be a catch, in her eyes.

"In today's economy, why would someone give away something so valuable?" she repeatedly asked.

A few reasons...

First, people have shared valuable tools with me over the years. They inspire me to want to do the same for others.

Second, helping those in need is what leaders do.

Leaders seek ways to help others be their best. Let's face it, being out of a job limits one's chances for performing at one's best. Leaders seek ways to share their expertise with people who need it. Leaders are not always selfishly out for a buck.

Leaders know when they can help, and they do it.

Here are a few more examples of top-notch leaders helping others:

1. A home builder in New York, John Doyle with Alure Homes, helped build several houses for ABC's Extreme Home Makeover. Sure, it's good promotion for the company, but it's also hours and materials given with a generous, kind intent for the new homeowners. Alure Homes recently was awarded 2009 Angies List "Super Customer Service Award" for the third straight year. You can't fake that kind of service.

2. Marian Madonia, an employee engagement expert, often consults briefly with people who heard her speak at conferences. She answers questions without telling them they have to contact her at the office, which implies they should expect an invoice. She helps because she can and they need it. Of course, if the matter is extensive, the client expects to pay and arrangements are made. But, she helps without asking about that first.

3. A successful KC realtor, Michael Maher with Realty Executives, gives away real estate buying and selling tips--even to other realtors. Free. He helps people because he is a leader and he can!

4. Chip Lewis, an Indiana attorney, answers legal questions without turning on a meter. He's not out to gouge people. He's out to help people.

There are examples of people helping others out of genuine kindness all over the place.

If you haven't done so lately, identify a skill you could share with those in need and how you could do it wisely (without risk to your current job). Leaders help people because they can. Leaders constantly seek ways to bring out the best in others.That's what they do. Period.

The New-Car Scent of a New Year

2010-01-05T09:16:00.004-06:00

Ah, the fresh scent of a new year...sort of has the new-car smell, don't you think?

When we get a new car, we make promises like, "No one will ever eat in here." Or, "I will wash it every week." Or, "I will get all regular maintenance on time at exactly 2500 miles."

How long before jam-packed schedules require grabbing lunch while driving between appointments? How long before daily activities prevent weekly washings? How soon does that 2500 miles creep up each month or quarter?

While we love our new car upon its purchase, and continue to appreciate it while it serves us well, the initial promises most often get forgotten within a few months.

Is each new year like that too?

Do you make promises at the beginning of the year, only to have them forgotten by Valentine's Day? Why do we do that? Why are so many people hopeful January 1st and mad at themselves by March 1st?

Let's not do that in 2010. Let's do these 3 things instead:

1. Let's take each day at a time. Keep your promises today. When you awake tomorrow, ponder your promises for 3 minutes and decide to keep them tomorrow. Take each day one at a time. Doing so will build momentum which will make it easier and easier to keep your promises every day.

2. Let's also acknowledge the good things in our lives, just as we do when trading in our old car. We liked many things about that old car--the radio stations were set, the seat position was perfect, the "check engine" lights worked. We don't always hate the old car; we simply know it's time for a new one. Think of a new year like that: we don't have to hate the past year, just be ready to move on to the new one. Even with tough times faced in 2009, life was good. Make a list and bring the good into 2010.

3. Let's set ourselves up for success in 2010. When I bought a new car a few years ago, I liked the fresh scent, so I keep air fresheners in the glove compartment. Every few months, a new Christmas Cookie freshener hangs from one of the arms off the steering wheel (I'm not a big fan of things hanging from the rear-view mirror), so the fresh scent reminds me to keep the promises made when the car was new. What can you do today to make keeping your 2010 promises likely? There may be simple things to bring success closer. Look for them.

The new-car smell fades within a month or two, as does the excitement of a new year. Taking each day at a time, pondering the good, and setting yourself up for success will enable you to keep the new year hope and excitement going all year long. I promise.

Now, that takes guts! And, muscle, hands, and heart too!

2009-12-18T09:13:00.004-06:00

When a building is on fire, is your natural tendency to run away from it or toward it? If you were inside it, would you run out as fast as you could or would you run back in the burning building to save a coworker?

Think about your coworkers...

Would you risk your life to save them? Any one of them? Would any of them risk their lives to save you?

Well, risk his life is what Jim Baker did.

Jim is a Kansas City firefighter who was on the scene of a smoke-filled building two months ago today. He was inside, along with his captain and others, when evacuation orders were shouted from those outside. As firefighters from seven companies made their way outside, Jim noticed his captain was not among them. Jim ran back inside the smoke-filled, pitch-black building to find his captain.

Captain Joiner's airpack got snagged on something, and he was stuck. As fire was nearing him, Captain Joiner radioed for help and saw Jim Baker coming toward him. A very strong Jim Baker freed Captain Joiner and got him close enough to the exit for others to help him out of the building.

Jim risked his own life to saved another. Jim saved his captain's life that day.

Both men suffered burns but are recovering, with more healing to come.

The guts of a firefighter are unfathomable to me. But, I recognize when someone uses their muscles, hands, brains, and heart in a gut-filled manner. Saving a life: now that takes guts!

I don't know Captain Joiner, but I do know Jim Baker. I've known him his whole life, and, honestly, his behavior that day is not shocking. No one I've spoken to about this has said, "Really? Jimmy Baker did that? No way!" Most people just nod their heads and say something about what a good person Jim has always been. They are right. His family is one of my all-time favorites. I love his family and am glad to write about Jim as today's Gut Check role model.

Would I be like Jim and run in to a building to save a life? I don't know. But, I am going to work on making the trip worth it in case someone else is faced with that decision about my life.

(http://www.nbcactionnews.com/news/local/story/Firefighters-Recovering-from-Burns/TL4jbeDBI0ajo24MsaPEJw.cspx)

Conjuring up the Christmas Spirit

2009-12-13T09:39:00.005-06:00

A dear friend recently asked for a little help conjuring up the Christmas spirit. You should know Pat has a family he loves, a good job he likes most of the time, and a positive outlook on life. He's not down-and-out or self-centered or a Scrooge of any kind. Pat is a great guy doing the best he can to make the world a better place every day.

His question made me wonder if many other similar non-Scrooge-like people struggle to find the Christmas spirit. I've certainly felt the same way. Have you?

With red & green decorations sparkling everywhere, radio stations blasting Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer since Halloween, holiday parties, company parties that can't be called "Christmas" or "party", etc. how could Pat not be in the Christmas spirit already?

Maybe because those things don't really help? Speaking for myself, but doubting I'm alone, the radio stations' competition to be the first to play Christmas music is more annoying than cheerful. The stores pushing Christmas up further every year screams desperation louder than celebration. The horror stories about company holiday events are more nightmare-like than dreamy.

I am not alone, right?

Instead of recommending to my church-going, family-loving friend that he put on some holiday music, buy his presents, and just snap out of it, the list below was shared. It includes a few ideas from me, along with some from others. I share it here, just in case anyone else is searching for the spirit of the season and hasn't found it yet.

1. Write a list of things you are grateful for in 2009, and the people who helped make them happen. Ponder your list every day.
2. Think of how you can honor the people on your list best for the next two weeks. Honor, not meaning gifts. And, the people could be in heaven.
3. Think of how you can make others feel extra special for 2 weeks and don't think about being in the Christmas spirit. Focus on others instead of the holiday.
4. Volunteer at a church, shelter, or food bank. You could even hold your own food drive for a food bank, toy drive for the Marines, or clothing drive for a shelter. And, go there to help sort and store the items.
5. Shovel a neighbor's driveway.
6. Stay within your budget. Anticipating credit card debt can ruin the holidays and the first few months of the new year. Set a budget and stay within that amount.
7. Be Secret Santa by giving a $10 gift card away at the gas station, grocery store, or church.
8. Adopt a family through your church or a shelter. Opportunities for this are plentiful right now.
9. Start a new family tradition.
10. Play with your kids' toys as if they are the greatest things in the whole world.
11. Play with your kids as if they are the greatest things in the whole world.
12. Go to church and really pay attention. No daydreams, no checking for friends in the crowd, no playing around. Really listen and ponder it all--whatever church it may be.
13. Sing Christmas music as boisterously as possible! Belt out the songs at church! Blast the radio and belt out your best Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer ever!

If you do all the items on the list, you could Simply Have a Wonderful Christmastime!

Who knows, while conjuring up the Christmas spirit for yourself, you're likely to do the same for those around you. And, that is the true spirit of the season.

It's Bring Your Brain to Work Day!

2009-12-01T20:18:00.008-06:00

Too many managers these days are micro-managing the engagement right out of their people.

Some managers believe they need to micro-manage the minutia in the midst of financial struggles. Some have resorted to having every decision go through them, which is highly stressful and lowly productive. Some managers are sending the signal that employees should keep their noses to the grindstone, not ask questions, and do only what they are told to do.

You've probably dealt with employees who have managers like that lately. You can tell because it is like dealing with someone who did not bring their brain to work. They cannot think beyond what a training manual advises. They cannot make any exceptions to the rule. They might even say something like, "That's not my job. You'll have to talk with someone else."

When managers clamp down, employees get the signal that their ideas are not necessary. While some employees may enjoy coasting in their jobs for a short time, most will resent being treated like monkeys (as in "any monkey can do this job") and will clam up. They will not take initiative for process improvement, customer solutions, revenue generation, or cost savings.

Clammed-up employees leave their brains at home because their managers clamped down and are doing all the thinking for them.

This month's Harvard Business Review has an article about this very topic called "To Be a Leader, Give Up Authority". The authors share research which "provides hard evidence that leaders who give in to the urge to clamp down can end up doing their companies a serious disservice."

The HBR article goes on to stress that leaders are not micro-managers. Leadership is about building responsibility for the business throughout the organization. To build such responsibility, employees need to bring their brains to work. The organizations which will succeed beyond this current economy are those who inspire creativity and innovative thinking. Brains are needed for that!

Be careful: if you send the signal to employees that their brains are not needed at work these days, they just might leave them at home. Send the signal, instead, that this is Bring Your Brain to Work Day and you will inspire the type of thinking and behavior that will lead to success.

Integrity and Generosity in the Heartland

2009-11-23T11:46:00.009-06:00

Don worked as a dairy farmer for 20 years, and has spent the last 20 years working at a pigment plant in Indiana. He's worked hard, and, with his wife, Don paid his debts, saved money, raised three great children, and was six months away from retirement last Thursday.

Paul works at the same plant. He's 32, with three small children and a wife who works as a waitress. Paul has been at the plant three years; he's been promoted and demoted (because of shift changes, not performance); he's been doing the dirtiest job in the plant. Paul fills and loads 50-pound bags of iron oxide powder, which is orange and has the consistency of baby powder; so, he literally works the dirtiest job at the plant. Through all the changes, Paul built a reputation as a hard worker who never complained.

More changes were announced Thursday.

Ten employees had to be laid off Thursday, and Paul was one of them. Don, whose tenure and position put him closer to the top of the food chain than the bottom, was not on the list of those sent home. But, he was concerned for those who were laid off, especially Paul. Don could not sleep for thinking about the hard-working man who took as much overtime as possible to take care of his young family without a complaint.

Paul did not complain about the layoff. He did not burn bridges on his way out the door Thursday.

In fact, Paul came to work Friday's shift.

You see, there was no one left to load the bags of orange powder. Paul came in because he knew the job needed to get done or the powder would be wasted. Of course, the company paid him for the day, but many people would have been too bitter, angry, or upset to come in. The nine others did not come in, and some of them held the same position Paul held.

Thursday, Paul went home to tell his wife he had been laid off. Jobs are tough to come by in Indiana these days, so imagine how difficult that conversation was.

Don went home from work Thursday and spoke with his wife too.

Both men came to work Friday with plans.

Paul's plan was to work the shift so the company would not lose its product. Don's plan was a little different.

Don called Paul into his office around noon to tell Paul about the conversation he had with his own wife the night before.

Don told Paul that he volunteered for the layoff, so Paul could keep his job.

Six months before retirement, Don voluntarily left his job so Paul could keep his.

Paul wept upon learning he could keep his job, and through his tears expressed his gratitude. Paul looked Don straight in the eyes, shook his hand, and thanked him.

When Don was asked why he did such a thing, Don said he knew what it was like to be in that situation with a young family.

"I'd been there and never wanted to let another man feel like I had if I could help it."

Don could help it.

Upon hearing this story, Don's son, Greg, said he hopes to be half the man his father is. Greg is very proud of his father, and it's a safe bet Paul's family is proud of him too. If we could all be "half the man" Don is, and "half the man" Paul is, the integrity and generosity could spread from the heartland the way ripples from a pebble spread in the ocean.

When "Work Friends" Become "Real Friends"

2009-11-19T19:54:00.007-06:00

When my career began, Emotional Intelligence was taboo. Actually, EQ had barely been invented and definitely was never talked about in management circles of corporations I worked in and with. In fact, an early mentor advised me to hide all emotions and live by the mantra: Die before cry!

I was lucky to have mentors early on and knew it. They became people to lean on when I was confused, curious, frustrated, or anxious--you know, emotional. People didn't show emotions at work back then, which also meant pretty shallow work relationships were the norm. If you had one or two "work friends," you were lucky. They were always called "work friends" and rarely were invited to intermingle with "real life friends."

Today's workplaces are different.

Today, EQ is emphasized all over the place! It's emphasized for leaders and managers, sales people, customer service associates--we're all encouraged to form relationships, genuine ones, with business associates now. It is clear now how employees benefit personally and how organizations benefit financially when EQ is high, so people are more open with "work friends" than in the past.

One of the best examples of such openness happened just this week.

One of my "work friends" is going through a tough time financially right now--heck, these days, she's hardly unique, right? While she's experienced the turbulent flow of emotions, she's doing pretty well in that regard now. What struck me in a recent coffee chat with her was not how open she was sharing her emotions with me, it was how open she was sharing them with several "work friends." She mentioned sharing her situation with ten or so others in the same committee we are on, and she described how generous each had been.

They were generous in ways not measured financially.

It would be too personal to divulge in this forum, but as she shared examples of the simple kindness shown by so many people, tears welled up in her eyes. And in mine.

I was stunned by so many "work friends" giving so compassionately of themselves, and not one had discussed it in the committee. Not one spoke even one word of her situation in a gossipy, derogatory manner. Many on the committee gave of themselves in a deeply personal, selfless, and loving way which never would have happened twenty years ago.

You see, when the organization is highly Emotionally Intelligent, as the committee we share is, genuine relationships really do form. When "work friends" become "real friends," magic happens.

Now That Takes Guts!

2009-10-27T17:24:00.006-05:00

With a beaming smile on her face, Dana Maguire crossed the finish line of Kansas City's recent marathon in 1,560th place. There were 1,560 entrants. She was last.

As a friend told her, “Dead-last finish is better than did not finish, which greatly trumps did not start.”

What were you doing October 17, 2009 from 7am until 2pm? Dana may have been dead last, but others did not finish, and another 1.5 million Kansas Citians did not start.

Dana clocked in at 6 hours, 59 minutes and 14 seconds. She told a Kansas City Star reporter that during the race she doubted herself and cried but never considered quitting. She knew early on that she would be last, but she knew she could do it.

Dana found out what she's made of during the marathon. And, she has guts! For her beaming smile, perseverance, and ability to stare quitting in the face and not do it, Dana is this week's worthwhile Gut Check! Way to go, Dana!

(For the story in the Kansas City Star: http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/story/1524835.html)

Now That Takes Guts!

2009-10-22T08:49:00.006-05:00

Sometimes having guts is stupid and gets unwanted attention, as it has this week for a USC football player.

The player is using finger gestures he wouldn't use to greet his grandma as fans from the opposing team take pictures before the game. The same player gave the same gestures throughout the game to the student section of the opposing fans. A teammate last year make a grossly offensive gesture behind a female sports reporter. A few years ago, a player from the same team was arrested for battery.

It takes guts to behave that way. It takes guts to allow a team culture in which such behavior happens often. Often. Not infrequently. Often.

The photo made its way around the internet, and since it did, the team's coach had to address the issue. The player said he learned his lesson after the coach spoke to the team:

"Just don't be stupid anymore," he said. "Everyone's always watching and
one little thing can be blown up." (SOURCE: Los Angeles Times)

One little thing?! Clearly, he missed the point. Or, perhaps the right point was not delivered by the coach in the first place.

When a USC band member spewed obscenities at an opposing player during the game, the band director admonished the band member directly and immediately. Meanwhile, the team's head coach seemed annoyed that his player got caught. Maybe he does not get the point either.

Is the point that one should not behave that way or that it is okay if you do not get caught? It takes guts to foster a culture in which the behavior is tolerated, perhaps even celebrated.

Some day that team is going to get caught for the culture it lives by. It will be interesting to see what they are made of when that happens.

Now That Takes Guts!

2009-10-09T10:49:00.009-05:00

Would you be able to complete a cross-country journey, starting at the Santa Monica Harbor and ending in New York City, in one week with just a backpack and $50?

Dave Price, of CBS's Early Show, did just that. There were strict parameters put on the trip including, he had to work for every penny earned. It was the ultimate reality of reality television.

His journey ended this morning, and he was on time. Now, that took guts!

What struck me most about Prices' journey, however, was his on-air update yesterday. He introduced America to a woman who was down on her luck, to say the least, and shared part of the journey with him. Price cried unapologetically on-air while talking about the woman and his journey. When his co-hosts commented about the tears, Price spoke of the journey meaning more to him than he expected. He spoke of the kindness of strangers.

Price returned to New York City this morning with about an hour to spare.

Dave said, "This was a strange, unintended gift, and it's not like I didn't appreciate America before. ... It's really a privilege to stop (and meet) all those people who make up the country." The challenge ultimately turned into "a week of personal growth" for Price. "It was a pleasure to do; it was a joy," he said. "Would I do it again? In a second." (SOURCE: www.cbsnews.com)

You may not take the same risk, but what could you risk in the hope of finding the reward Dave found? Dave Price took a chance. And, it took guts! He says he would do it again. Now, that really takes guts!

(Link to the story on CBSNews.com: http://bit.ly/jmFFU)

Lack of Success Formula: Gigantic Egos + Outdated Tactics = Losers

2009-10-05T11:19:00.010-05:00

"It’s no secret in Kansas City or across the league. The No. 1 character trait/flaw driving the Chiefs organization right now is ego." Jason Whitlock, sports columnist for the Kansas City Star, reports about the Chief's GM (Scott Pioli) and coach (Todd Haley).

Whitlock has been harping on the egos of the Chiefs leaders for years, but this week, he was backed up by one of the key players on the team: Larry Johnson. When asked why the team lost its fourth game of the year, out of four played, Johnson's one-word reply was, "Ego."

As an expert and student of leadership, it is easy to see Pioli and Haley's egos are out of control. Three key factors come to mind:

First, Pioli and Haley are using tactics learned from previous bosses, Belichick and Parcells, who are known for intimidation, fear, and egos. Unfortunately for Pioli and Haley, football coaching is not a cookie-cutter job. The exact personality, ego, hoodie, and tactics of one man will not work for a different man. What works for one will not work for all.

Second, the difference between Pioli/Haley and Belichick/Parcells is that the two championship-winning coaches became fear mongers AFTER winning games, after success. They were not like that climbing up the coaching tree. Pioli and Haley have won nothing. Not one game. They are losers. They have not earned the right to have gigantic egos.

Third, Belichick and Parcells learned coaching methods which built their reputations thirty years ago. Since they have won championships, their tactics are tolerated by today's young players. Players are different today than thirty years ago, however, and unless you can back up your tactics with championships, you better adapt to what works for today's players. As with other leaders, the leaders of the Chiefs need to recognize and adapt to the differences in generations. Pioli and Haley need to earn their stripes with today's players, and the outdated management tactics of the 70s will not work with them.

Outdated tactics will not motivate or unify a team today. Until Pioli and Haley face the fact that they are not Belichick and Parcells...until they get their egos under control...until they earn respect of today's players...until they prove their tactics work by winning a game--even one!...the Chiefs will continue their permanent residence in the cellar of football.

Perhaps residing NFL rankings cellar will be the ego check needed to bring a formula for success to the Chiefs organization.

(Lest anyone think I see Jason Whitlock as the consummate emotionally intelligent professional, know that I know his ego is gigantic. Probably bigger than anyone else mentioned in the blog, but , he's not leading a team or inspiring people. He works on his own as a columnist. And, he knows his ego is gigantic. For Jason Whitlock's column in the Kansas City Star: http://bit.ly/nnWEz)

Now That Takes Guts!

2009-09-29T08:14:00.008-05:00

Be aware Kansas City: 350 advertising agency folks will be loose on the streets tomorrow!

Actually, they'll be busy helping three local nonprofits: Harvestors, the Don Bosco Centers, the Front Porch Alliance.

It's VML's annual Foundation Day, so they will close their doors and give all of the employees the day to help in the community. VML is a full-service digital marketing agency. As you may know, the agency industry has felt the brunt of low consumer confidence lately. Closing its doors for a day takes guts.

Kudos to VML and its clients for keeping up a tradition, especially in the midst of the recession when help is desperately needed.

Closing shop for a day to contribute to the community: now that takes guts!

(For more about VML: http://www.vml.com/)
(Link to KC Star newspaper article about VML's volunteer day: http://bit.ly/4mZDMm)

Performance & Soccer Trophies

2009-09-23T14:02:00.022-05:00

Are you from when the score was kept at games between teams of 8th graders? And, only one person on the team was awarded the Player of the Year?

Or, was high school the first time you saw a score board? Is there a shelf at your mom's house full of trophies given out to everyone on the team?

I worked with someone from the second group recently. While his age was not particularly obvious, his attitude about performance sure was.

I asked the small group of future leaders from different companies if they would win the Employee of the Year award. Much to my surprise, here is how the conversation turned:

Me: Would your performance this year earn you the Employee of the Year award?
Stewie (not his real name): We don't have an Employee of the Year award.
Me: Would your performance earn it if you did?
Stewie: But we don't, so why would I work as if we did?

The urge to remind him to wear his hairnet to work at his future job was resisted.

The rest of the group was just as astounded as I was, so this is not a generalization about an entire generation of workers.

It is a general warning about those who expect trophies just for showing up. If those people are vital to the organization, even when performance is average, identify what recognition works for them and do it. If trophies work, give trophies. If those employees are less essential, know you could have 50 resumes of highly qualified, eager, people on your desk in minutes.

If you're from when trophies were given out just for showing up, think about how that affects your performance today. Think also about it affects your reputation and how you are positioned for your future.

If you're from when trophies were earned, realize expectations are different these days. You might want to stock up on trophies.

Leaders Build Bridges not Barriers

2009-09-14T14:49:00.008-05:00

One of my first managers was very well liked by those who reported to him. To get his team to like him, Charlie had them over for summer picnics, let them leave early now and then, and formed a tightly knit clique. He made sure they had the latest equipment and information. People who reported to Charlie revered him like he was a super hero.

If you were in his clique, you were golden. If not, you were treated as a second-class citizen by Charlie and his team. I know that because I joined his team after being on a different one for four years, and the treatment changed immediately. Suddenly, I was welcomed to the fold by Charlie. It took a little longer for the rest of the team, but the treatment definitely improved.

While I came to like Charlie, even to respect him and hold him in high esteem, it was clear that he was not a good leader.

The clique he formed served as a bridge for his own team but a barrier to others.

When there are barriers, people are not compelled to offer revenue-generating ideas, cost-saving efficiencies, or problem solving tactics.

Ideas and innovation, whether they are for new products, services, benefits, or processes, make the difference between survival and demise of organizations today.

Leaders work to generate ideas. They know they must build bridges between teams, clients, suppliers, and divisions to inspire innovation. They know internal bridges give them an advantage over tight competition more than barriers do.

While it may seem like a good idea to hunker down, now is the time to reach out. Identify 3 bridges you could build or repair, then reach out. You may be surprised at how eager others are to rely on the bridges you build.

The Power of Trust & 5 Ways to Build It

2009-09-07T15:38:00.002-05:00

Trust between employees and management, and among both groups, is a critical element in organization survival and success today.

Trust is not a line item on a P&L, but the level of trust between two people, or people and organizations, shows the quality of the relationship. The quality of the relationship indicates whether the relationship will overcome challenges. Organizations today are facing the biggest challenges of the last 25 years (much more for many); therefore, they need solid relationships to thrive. Solid relationships are built on trust.

While trust is tough to measure in terms of dollars, lack of trust is expensive.

What does it cost your organization when a high caliber employee goes to a competitor? What does it cost when production is slowed by merely 5%? By 25%? What does it cost when disengaged employees work there, negatively impact morale among coworkers, or actively sabotage your company? What does it cost to replace good people who leave because poor performers are not held accountable? A culture of distrust is an expensive problem.

On the other hand, a culture of trust can be profitable. Jason Grove, Vice President of Operations for Dimensional Innovations (www.dimin.com), points out that trust is critical, but business success is based on making money. Mr. Grove says, “If you trust good people to do their jobs, they’ll do them. This is the way we do business, and it works.”

Unfortunately, the turbulent economic conditions facing many businesses today diminish the trust level within them. Several recent studies have shown up to 60% of employees do not trust their senior leaders to get their organizations back on track. Over the years, psychological studies consistently discuss trust as something which is built, rather than innate; therefore, management can do something about it.

Management can build a culture of trust using the following strategies:
1. Instill a compelling Vision. Herb Kelleher, co-founder of Southwest Airlines, distinguished his company by unifying everyone around the Vision of freedom. They are selling freedom “to move about the country” and their employees work toward that Vision. What is the greater purpose for your organization? If you cannot recite it immediately, you can bet your bottom dollar no one else there can either. Without it, people resort to their personal reasons for working there, which may not be synchronized with each other.

2. Get the right people in the right jobs. Jim Collins described it in Good to Great as getting the right people on the bus in the right seats. Leaders need to make decisions about people and hold them accountable for their performance to ensure the right ones work there.

3. Be open and honest about the facts. Face the truth about where you are and where you’re heading, and let your people know. It is common during a crisis for leaders to bury themselves in work and try to figure it out on their own, but that is precisely the wrong course to take. Employees want to know the truth, and they can handle it.

4. Make tough decisions. Leaders need to make decisions without being wishy-washy. Build trust among employees by doing what is right, even if it is hard. Do not be afraid to be a leader when faced with hard decisions.

5. Recognize success. Acknowledge accomplishments and thank employees for them. Give positive feedback when goals are met. Set reasonable goals which can be met in today’s circumstances.

Leaders should use the five strategies described here to build a culture of trust during this economic crisis and continue fostering the culture as the crisis subsides. If you build a relationship of trust with employees, they will perform their best for you and the company. The relationship is priceless and powerful.

Copyright © 2009 Kelly A. Tyler

A Head Buried in the Sand Gives a Bad View

2009-09-01T08:48:00.008-05:00

It's been a while since I posted here. Summer hours took effect with nieces and nephews' freedom from school. Plus, I was getting ready for another semester teaching a class at a local business school. Plus, clients--new, potential, and long-term--kept me busy (yay!). Plus, friends and family were in town a lot. Plus, it was so hot...

See a familiar pattern there?

Step 1: Identify the problem or weakness.

Step 2: Identify excuses for it.

Step 3?

Keep my head buried in the sand and ignore the issue? I don't like this option because the issue keeps flaring up in the back of my mind, even while my head is buried in the sand. That's got to feel familiar to some readers.

Another choice is to get my head out of the sand to face the facts. Now, I'm talking about my performance as a blogger, but the same pattern of behavior exists for many business-altering issues. Leaders bury their heads in the sand rather than face the facts of their performance.

When one's head is buried in the sand, you know what those around can see, right? Yes, the site is not pretty and does not inspire change, innovation, confidence, or productivity. Whatever issue is flaring up in the back of your mind, face it today and improve the view.

With that in mind, I faced the issue of my poor blogging performance today by getting its score and ranking. My blog score is 47. Out of 100. That's an F! (Don't tell my dad and mom I flunked a grade.)

My blog ranking is 2,505 out of 9,388, is written at the 10th-grade level, and has 18 inbound links.

Ah! There's hope! It's not ranked 9,388! In fact, the number of inbound links indicates someone is reading this--or wishes they could have something to read.

Facing the facts--after all, a blog that has not been updated in more than two months should not expect much higher than a 47--was a little scary and painful. Even with reasonable expectations, I didn't like seeing that 47.

But, at least I can fix it now.

The joy of getting out from under the sand is changing the view for myself and those around me. I will do better and will keep you posted of the score improvement.

If you're stuck with your head buried in the sand, pop up and take a peak. The view is much better from above the sand for all involved.

You can be just like Mario Lemieux

2009-06-15T16:20:00.005-05:00

Do you own an NHL team? Have you won an Olympic gold medal or three MVP awards? Have you played on two Stanley Cup championship teams?

Unless Mario Lemieux reads this blog, it's pretty safe to say the answers to the above questions are, "No."

You may not have medals, trophies, and Stanley Cups, but there is something very important you could have in common with Mario Lemieux. There is one thing he did this week, which you could do and do just as well.

He inspired his team.

By the time two teams are playing in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup series, as the Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wings were last Friday, it is clear both teams are skilled and talented. The difference between first and second place at that level is rarely skill, but more likely mental edge. Some might say "heart". Others say "desire," as if one team wanted the championship more than the other. Whatever you call it, Mario Lemieux inspired it in his team, the Penguins.

On Friday morning, each Penguins player awoke to find this on their cell phone:

This is a chance of a lifetime to realize your childhood dream to win a Stanley Cup. Play without fear and you will be successful! See you at center ice.

It was a text message from team owner, Mario Lemieux.

It was the right message at the right time. Mario's Penguins won the Stanley Cup that night, and he met them at center ice for the celebration.

You can do the same exact thing Mario did.

Inspire your team with the right message. Let them hear from you. Let them know you are behind them and believe in them.

Some leaders will think the idea is too fluffy and superficial. I say, if it's good enough for a hockey player (they aren't known for being sissies, after all), it's good enough for any leader. Your team wants to hear from you, especially during tough times.

If you want your team to step up, then you should too. Be like Lemieux in this regard: step up and inspire your team. Now.

What makes someone worth it?

2009-06-12T08:22:00.007-05:00

The professional-level employee:

Easily distracted
Lacks professionalism (attire, manners)
Lacks verbal skills
Openly speaks of other, better jobs out there
Surfs the web for 20 minutes at a time
Average performer

Question #1: If you were the manager of the employee described above, would you keep him? In today's economy, when organizations are struggling to make revenue goals to keep people employed, how far would you go for the employee described?

Isn't there a line to draw somewhere? Isn't it acceptable to release that employee to find that "other, better job" and replace him with one of the highly skilled laid off people who would love to work there?

Unless the employee brings something valuable to the business, such as his family business is their largest client or he is friends with Jack Nicholson who will give you court-side seats to the Lakers-Orlando series, it may be time to let the employee go.

Managers today do not have time to mentor, much less to babysit someone who makes the company look bad to clients, negatively affects morale, barely meets deadlines, and submits substandard work. As nice as the employee may be, there is no time for managers to waste on people who are not worth it. Someone who does not want to be there, and behaves like it, is not worth it.

Question #2: If you are the employee described above, how long will you continue the behavior and expect to remain employed?

This is the time to bring your A game to work every day. This is not the time to slack off on the Internet, complain about petty things, demand raises for size of workload (hint: it's not the quantity which usually earns raises!), pick fights with coworkers, or tell a client your boss can't come to the phone because he is in the loo (a real example, but I cleaned up the wording).

I've posted about it before, but take note, this is the time many employers are trading up. They are letting sub-standard performers go and replacing them with people who will bring their A game to work daily. Employers are finding superstars among the unemployed, so unless you perform at a superstar level, your job could be in jeopardy. Don't risk it by being unprofessional.

Bring your A game and show them you are worth it every day.

Branding: It's all in the details

2009-05-11T12:18:00.004-05:00

The buzz about branding is everywhere from corporations to job seekers. Branding is about the customer-, or interviewer-, experience at every level of communication with the brand. Organizations obsessed with branding stand out, as shown by two different companies over the last week.

Last week, I spoke at a conference held at a hotel. The first day, I pulled into the parking lot and noticed an empty soft drink bottle discarded in the spot. It was there the second day, and the third too. It wasn't in my way and was no big deal, but it stood out that the hotel did not clean its parking garage.

How often should a hotel clean its garage? What is the standard of excellence for that? I don't know, but as part of their brand, it stood out that they do not clean it daily.

One of the reasons it stood out to me is because of a different experience elsewhere.

The same week, I was eating in a window booth at Burger King. The window was on the drive-thru side of the restaurant. A uniformed BK employee was crouched on the ground in the drive-thru lane. I worried she would get run over by a hungry driver, but she moved when she heard the car coming. After the car took its food, she went back to the lane and bent down again.

This time, I could see what she was doing. She was scraping gum off the drive-thru lane. She was using a putty-knife-looking-tool to scrape gum! I couldn't believe it!

Burger King cares enough about their brand, and their customer experience, to ask an employee to scrap gum! Frankly, it made me think they must pay close attention to their food too.

Branding is essential because every experience impacts trust. Every time your customers interact with your organization, trust is affected for better or worse. Build bridges to your customers by paying attention to the details, or risk burning bridges. Both depend on the details.

If this lady snags clients, I'm changing strategies!

2009-05-05T14:11:00.004-05:00

I just posted about foreign spammers when the email below came through to my in-box. It was not caught by spam filters, which could prompt people to think it is legitimate. Truly, though, how could anyone think this is legitimate? If this woman gets someone to help her, them I just might alter my marketing strategies!

Here's the email, exactly as it was sent to me:

Beloved One,
Please i am very sorry for the inconveniences and embarrassments this may cause you. My name is Miss Linda Yarah, 20 years and single from Abidjan , Cote d'Ivoire in West Africa. The only surviving daughter Of Mr Williams Yarah who dealed on Gold and diamonds during his days Before he was shot my an assassins hired by his brother on his business Trip to Ethiopia on the 20th of August 2008. My mother and my only brother happened to be a victim in the incident while I was schooling In France . I read Mechanical Engineering in school and will send you my BIODATA and Pictures.Honestly, I am in serious agony and pains since the death of my parents. Meanwhile a week before the incident took place, we had a family meeting and my late father informed us that he deposited the sum of USD$8.500.000.00 (Eight Million, five hundred thousand US dollars) in one of the Invesments banks in our country.Now I want you to help me provide an account where this money will be transferred into for an investment in your country. I will offer you 50% of the total amount for helping me and use the other 50% for an investment in your country after my Education. I will give you the contact of the bank director who will give you more information and directives on how you will receive the money in your account. I have discussed with him on my plans to transfer the money into your account and he supported the idea so that my wicked uncle will not locate me and kill me. Waiting to hear from you quickly with your telephone number where I can call you for more details.
Thanks Miss Linda Yarah.

While I'm tempted to say, "Whoever falls for that gets what they deserve!" sympathy for the feelings they will have upon realizing the truth are more prevalent.

I would hate it if my clients felts betrayed, scammed, or disappointed by my services. Yet, some sales reps employ similar tactics and have a similar lack of concern for others as Miss Linda's author. If that spammer gets clients, I won't really alter my strategies. After all, I rely on clients for positive word-of-mouth and repeat business. I want to see people I contact again.

Sales People are like Spammers

2009-05-05T13:42:00.005-05:00

The recent return of foreign spammers filling up the spam folder annoyed me at first.

Then, it made me scoff at their ridiculous techniques. Do they really think sending emails in a foreign language to Americans is going to get us to buy things? Do they really thing random emails, without knowing anything about the potential buyer, will generate sales? Do they really think using fake names and being phony elicits business? Ha, I scoffed!

Then, the foreign spammers whom I scoffed at made me think about sales people who essentially employ the same tactics:

Sales people constantly use words potential buyers do not understand. They blast into their sales process discussing the ins and outs of their products without realizing the customer does not know the rep's internal terms. They don't even realize they lost the customer and now her questions are just polite, not interest.

Sales people randomly target customers. They send out a thousand mailers with generic information hoping to appeal to someone. They make cold calls without knowing anything at all about the person on the other end of the line. With the internet, it would only take a minute or two to appear a million times more credible, but many sales people do not bother. They'll just move on to the next person and hope someone pays attention to them. Here's a tip: pay attention to the prospect if you want her to pay attention to you.

Sales people's phoniness gives the industry a bad name. There are some good sales people out there, but the fake ones ruin it for everyone. Feigning interest in someone only until they buy or don't buy can come back to haunt a sales person. If the prospect buys, the reps often lose interest as the customer is turned over to someone else. If the prospect does not buy, the rep loses interest and won't even fake it the next time they happen to meet. Little do they know, but reps who behave in such a phony manner cost themselves business.

I learned a lesson when deleting the 47 foreign spam messages today: do not be like them!

The Worst on the Team

2009-04-30T11:53:00.004-05:00

Back in college, I was on the varsity Track and Field team. The school, St. Mary's College (Notre Dame, IN), is a small all-girls Division III school which competes with other small schools in the Midwest.

During my time on the team, there was one athlete who attended every practice, competed in several events, and always had a positive attitude. She was not very good but made many friends on the team. She even became friends with athletes from other schools we competed against at meets.

Other athletes liked her because she was no threat to them. The best she ever did was earning a 4th Place ribbon in the shot put. There were five competitors, one had a sprained wrist that day.

Other athletes liked her so much, they frequently gave her advice, so she could improve. She'd absorb the advice, and was often given extra tries because people liked to see her improvements themselves. Even the judges liked her spirit and attitude.

The athlete knew she was not good at the events. She was not embarrassing, just not at the performance level of college athletics. She knew it, and she did them anyway.

She did not mind being the worst on the team because she knew she had different talents.

She went on the graduate from St. Mary's, earn an MBA, become one of the youngest senior marketing analysts in town and the youngest speaker hired by the AMA. She implemented a cutting-edge training plan in the advertising industry and produced record-setting and award-winning results with her clients.

I am that athlete.

I was the worst one on the team.

Shot, discus, javelin, and long jump are not my gifts. Luckily, I knew I had other gifts.

Young people today often are not given the opportunity to figure out their gifts. With all the rules of everyone makes the team, plays the same amount of time, gets the same trophy, young people today do not learn that it is okay to be bad at something. It is okay for someone else to win, get a better trophy, celebrate victory.

In shielding kids from being the worst, parents, coaches, schools today are also preventing them from finding out what they are the best at. In over-protecting their kids from the brief moment of disappointment which comes when being cut from a team, parents are preventing their kids from knowing the feeling of triumph.

Triumph over adversity is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I hope all kids get to experience it, so they can also experience the joy and pride of knowing they have a different gift.

Allow others to triumph. It will work out okay for them if they are the worst on the team. Take it from someone who knows.

She's not just a Pretty Face

2009-04-28T08:02:00.003-05:00

You recognize Susan Boyle, from Britain's Got Talent, right? Her first performance on the show April 11, 2009 propelled the singer to worldwide stardom, and the video of the performance is the most watched video in You Tube history.

When watching the video from start to finish, one can take away a few lessons from Susan's experience.

The most obvious lesson in Susan's experience on the show is, of course, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Susan does not look like a superstar with a powerful voice. She looked fine for a woman in a tiny village in Scotland, but she did not look like a star. In fact, the audience laughed at her when she came on stage, and the judges sneered when she said she wanted a career like Elaine Page's. A minute later, the audience and judges were laughing at themselves and knew she had taught them a lesson about judging others.

In spite of how she was greeted upon entering the stage, Susan Boyle remained confident in herself. She may have been a little nervous in the spotlight, but clearly she retained her self-confidence. A second lesson for us all: Don't let someone else, even millions of them, break your spirit. You have a special gift, just as Susan does. When you know what it is, do not let anyone else steal it from you or diminish it in your own eyes. Susan was able to share her talent because she knew she had it inside. Do the same.

One of the most powerful lessons of this experience came during the judges' comments.

Cameras show the three judges smiling and happy for Susan throughout her performance. The first judge gushed all over the place when it was his turn to comment. It was the second judge, Amanda Holden, who had the most startling comment of all and taught the most important lesson of the performance.

Amanda spoke about the crowd being against Susan at first but being privileged to hear the performance. She said, "It was a privilege to listen to you." Wow, there's a lesson for us!

What if we all felt privileged to share each other's strengths? What if we all look beyond our initial judgements of others and look for their gifts instead? What if we all seek goodness in others? What would happen to our relationships? workplaces? homes? schools? country?

See beyond the outside, the obvious first lesson Susan taught us, but not just to tolerate others but to feel privileged to know them. That lesson is more challenging yet also more life-altering.

Susan Boyle is not just a pretty face, and neither is Amanda Holden. Both taught the world important lessons. Let's not miss them.

Ashton Won!

2009-04-17T07:46:00.004-05:00

In the war between one man and the "establishment," Ashton Kutcher became the first twitter user to reach one million followers.

To the surprise of many, the real purpose of this competition extended beyond the ego of a movie star. It's about having a voice in the media. We create it and report it, and as Ashton said, "We can change media forever!"

About 8 hours ago, CNN used its television anchors and tickers to encourage people to follow it over Ashton. Ashton used the internet. It came down to the wire. And, Ashton won.

In the meantime, I lost 2 followers.

Ashton Kutcher v. CNN v. Kelly Tyler

2009-04-16T13:44:00.008-05:00

Within the next few hours, movie star and producer Ashton Kutcher or CNN will become the first tweeter to reach 1,000,000 followers. As of this moment, I have 119 followers. Okay, so I'm not really in the competition with the big boys of twitter.

It's been only a month since I joined the tweople on twitter. "Tweople," that's what they call "people" over there. Here's what I've learned so far, just in case it would help those thinking of joining:

There's a whole new abbreviated language to learn. Luckily, my teenage niece and nephew have taught me a few things through their texts, but there's more to learn on twitter.

The ability to write complete thoughts in 140 characters is not possible for everyone but is a wonderful talent to master.

There are a gazillion SEO marketers out there, and they will follow you, hoping you follow them too. They measure value in terms of # of followers.

Don't pat yourself on the back too quickly when people follow you. Some are doing so only to sell you something, shocking as it is.
If you do not follow everyone who follows you, some of them will stop following you. Don't let that hurt your feelings.

You can find anything on twitter--newscasters, comics, coffee enthusiasts, chefs, shoe enthusiasts--anything!

Since you can find anything there, twitter also can become time consuming. Limit the number of times and minutes you twitter during the day.

If twitter bores you, follow more interesting people.

Twitter is all over the place lately. It's the talk of the country, especially with the Ashton versus CNN contest and the rumors of a Google buyout. Some people love it and others balk at the whole concept. I'm still undecided but definitely see some benefit to it. The twitter bashers probably need to see how it is evolving. If you're a basher, take another look. If you haven't looked yet, get over there. (http://www.twitter.com/) Be in the know, at least.

Unlike Ashton and CNN, I am not on a quest to have the most followers. I am fine with 119--oh, 121 now--followers who really want to be in touch with me. If that includes you, you'll find me there at: http://twitter.com/KellyTyler I like the idea of a little cluster of like-minded people being linked via twitter. Oh, wait, linked? Linked In, that's a different story!

By the way, my vote is for Ashton because it was his use which propelled twitter to the center of attention in the US. Plus, I get CNN updates from their web site already. If you'd like to follow Ashton, here's his link: http://twitter.com/aplusk

It's a tight race to the million! Only 999,879 more to go!

All Clients Return

2009-04-07T16:07:00.005-05:00

One thing I learned from working at TargetCom, a boutique direct response agency in Chicago (with the most cleverly creative people I've ever met), is to be patient with prospects and clients. TargetCom as a whole felt certain every prospect would work with them eventually and all clients who leave will return.

And, for the most part, they have been right.

Their service was so thorough and their creative work so right on, clients returned. And, so did prospects. Nora Ligurotis, TargetCom's CEO, used to tell me to expect clients to leave and be prepared to welcome them upon their return.

I thought of Nora this week when corresponding with a partner in an engineering firm. He said he was not in the market for training right now but wondered if he could ask me a few questions about it. Sales experts would likely tell me not to waste much time with him until he is ready to buy. I choose a different approach, and suspect Nora and her TargetCom folks would do the same. I eagerly continued the correspondence and encouraged the partner to be in touch.

You see, he may not be ready to write a check today, but when he is, he will feel good about it. He will have had time to get to know me and feel happy to trust me with his people. He will become an ideal client because he is doing so on his terms. While it may take some time upfront, the investment is worth it. Plus, the partner and his firm are interesting and my interest in them is genuine.

When clients are welcomed on their terms, they will return. Be patient.

Bring Your A Game or You Might be Traded

2009-04-02T14:55:00.002-05:00

Someone on LinkedIn asked today if those of us in the Executive Group thought companies are using the economy as an excuse to rid themselves of highly paid employees. The consensus of more than 40 responses is: Yes.

I was one of only a few dissenters.

First, according to statistics published nearly daily, many of those laid off are not in the "highly paid" category; therefore, getting rid of high salaries does not seem to be a primary goal.

Second, if the highly paid employees are carrying their weight, they are most often retained.

Third, in my opinion, companies are using the economy as an excuse to rid themselves of "dead weight" without feeling guilty about it.

Identifying who is on the chopping block is agonizing for most involved with such decisions. The decisions are based on current performance and expected future performance. If current performance is weak, a layoff is more likely. If one's skills are not seen as likely to propel the organization to meet future goals, a layoff is more likely.

So, it's not just salary, it is performance- and skill-based.

If you do not make yourself needed, you could be part of a layoff conversation.

As employees adapt to workplaces without their friends, they need to bring their A games to work every day or risk joining their buddies in job searches. But, instead of bringing A games, some employees play games.

Some employees are bitter, resentful, and just biding their time until it's their turn to go. Biding one's time is not very motivational to most people, and it is visible to upper management. It is easy to spot the resentful people with bad attitudes, and those folks put themselves at risk for being laid off. Performing the bare minimum to get by will likely lead to getting a bye-bye.

Of course, many, many great people are let go through no fault of their own. They brought their A games to work every day and still were let go. Those folks might be in luck.

Marshall Goldsmith, the renowned management and leadership guru, told a small group of us just last week that he sees this as a time companies are "trading up." The superstars are landing gigs better than those they left. If you are a superstar, you'll land on your feet. If you are not a superstar, you might find yourself being traded to another team.

Another example of horrible networking...

2009-03-19T20:32:00.002-05:00

This evening was Kansas City's Small Business of the Year Showcase. More than 130 award candidates displayed our (my business is a candidate) work for nearly 1,000 local business people who attended.

This is one of the biggest networking events of the year. It's so big, my mom comes to "man" my booth, so I can talk to even more people. She is a great networker, and was fun to hang out with for the evening. I was grateful she spent the time there, and appreciated her help, which is more than can be said of "Barnes."

Here's the story...

One of the most delightful people I met this evening was the wife of an attorney. She wore jeans, pony tail, and KU sweatshirt as she passed out carnations to the women with booths at the event. She was adorable, smart, and socially savvy. I liked her so much, I wanted to meet her husband before leaving. Her husband is an attorney, and she was representing him there. At the end of the event, with my display suitcase and mom in tow, I went to find the wife and her attorney husband.

Boy, was he a jerk!

He introduced himself to me politely, and when I said why I came over to meet him, he made a rude comment about his wife being insignificant. I said something about her being out among the crowd doing a great job networking, and he actually said something which would indicate that she's not qualified to do anything else. (Meanwhile, I'd already learned she has a counseling degree and works as a counselor part-time, while raising their kids. A very smart woman.)

I said, "If you get any business from this event, you'll have her to thank." By then he had dismissed me and was speaking with another man.

Times are tough for law firms, aren't they? One would think the guy would be a little more savvy. Perhaps he can learn a few tips from his wife.

Jack be Nimble, Jack be Quick

2009-03-18T08:15:00.003-05:00

Nimble and quick are not words which often come to mind when describing many leaders. Jockeys, perhaps, but not leaders. In today's ever-changing business world, it is essential for leaders to be flexible and think creatively when managing projects, making decisions, and leading others.

One problem, causing stale and slow, seems to be reliance on traditional solutions and problem solving methods. Solving a project management time crunch issue, for example, can no longer be solved by adding people from another team to help in the short-term. First of all, there are fewer people on those teams already--if there even are other teams. Second, companies do not want to, or cannot, pay the additional expense of adding people. Third, clients are nimble and want to see action quicker than ever.

Leaders need to stimulate a creative culture to help managers who tend to rely too much on their experience. No one has experience with what we are all dealing with these days, so creativity is required.

Here are 5 ways to help create a creative environment:

Brainstorm for ideas. Hold weekly brainstorming meetings. Choose a topic, facilitate a professional session (email or call Kelly for some tips), and follow up. Great ideas build off other ideas, so give employees a chance to brainstorm.
Love ideas before you hate them. Don't judge ideas quickly. Let them fester in your mind, and the minds of others, a little while to see if something could become of them.
Release all assumptions. Ask, "What would we do/say in 2006?" then ask, "What might be possible in 2029?" Somewhere between there just might be the answer needed.
Play games with a purpose. Here's a link to Games That Stimulate Creativity: http://www.glencoe.com/sec/busadmin/entre/teacher/creative/stimulate/index.htm
Rearrange the office. Change a few things around the office to change the way people are functioning. People get in a rut, so change the pictures, layout, color, etc. Hold meetings outside or at an art gallery, museum, diner, park, or gym. Get people out of their usual surroundings.

Adaptability, initiative, and innovation are key success factors today. The leaders who are nimble and quick are those who will succeed through these changing times. They will succeed because they instill the same flexibility and creative thinking in those around them.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, or Jack be looking for a job to pick!

Common Sense Sales Skills are not Always Common

2009-03-16T08:33:00.004-05:00

Doesn't every sales person know by now how important it is to ask questions and understand needs before making the sales call? Isn't that the very basic first step in sales?

I met a gal who recently hung her marketing shingle because former coworkers told her she'd be great at marketing. The thing is, she has never been in marketing. Her coworkers knew her as a recruiter, and while there are marketing elements involved in that job, it is a different job. Is it really wise to start a company in this current climate only on the basis of your friends telling you how great you would be? Not a smart move, in my opinion.

It is smart to attend functions where your target clients are, especially if you are selling yourself as a marketing expert.

A smarter move would be to get to know them and ask questions, rather than hog the entire conversation with your insistence that these targets know nothing about marketing. Believe it or not, many have marketing agencies already and others are smart marketers themselves. You are not some type of sales savior coming to save the day, as there have been dozens of marketing experts visit the same group. Sitting across from four targets over lunch, bombarding them with how much they need you, while not asking even one question, is just silly.

It was smart to attend but not knowing how to conduct yourself there showed you are an amateur in what you are trying to promote as your expertise.

Basic Sales 101 should be common sense to someone who runs a marketing firm. Ask questions! Ask questions! Ask questions! If you read one book on sales, the importance of identifying needs first would be clear to you. The fact that you spent the entire break time talking about yourself was an amateur move, it was insulting to experts at the table, and it was socially rude.

Don't listen only to your friends when setting up a new business. Don't set one up in an area for which your only expertise is a ten-year-old college degree. Don't set one up then screw up what you are trying to sell to others.

Don't try to sell yourself as an expert when it's clear you do not grasp even the very basics of what you are promoting. Figure out the basics first, then sitting with you over lunch might be interesting.

Am I an Egomaniac?

2009-03-11T11:10:00.002-05:00

I joined Twitter this morning. Now, I feel like an egomaniac.

Seriously, does anyone out there in the cyber world really want to know my every move? Apparently so, as one person already signed up to follow me. (For non-Twitterers, "follow" is the term used to sign up for updates. It's harmless, not stalker-ish.)

So, let's see, which social media am I using now?

There's Facebook for personal contacts, high school friends, neighbors, and others known socially. There's the college football community site, which I participate in religiously. There's LinkedIn for professional contacts, including those known only via the Internet. There are discussion groups on LinkedIn too, and on The Wall Street Journal web site. There's blogging to share insights with people who have attended speaking gigs and training sessions; plus, following about ten other blogs on a regular basis. And, now there's tweeting via Twitter.

All this connecting makes me wonder why we feel the need to connect so much? What is it about how we're working and living today which makes connecting to so many people necessary? Why do we think people want to connect with us?

Are we doing business with people we've never met? Why, yes we are. I'm in the middle of working out details for two leadership sessions with people connected to via Facebook and Linked In. Neither would have happened without the social media, and both organizations are exciting to work with.

Are we building communities of people who really care about each other via the Internet? Why, yes we are. The college football board mentioned above is primarily for football discussions, but there's one message board for other topics. People all over the country post about new babies, ask for travel recommendations, ask for and give business advice, share music and movie reviews, and share life's sorrows as well. I've shed tears of joy, sorrow, and laughter for people on there, and I don't even know their names. This group proves a bonded community can be formed and developed via the Internet.

Are we holding on to connections longer than in the past? Why, yes we are. We remain connected with former coworkers, high school classmates, and associates more consistently than in the past. It makes me feel good when a high school friend posts pictures of her kids on Facebook or when a former coworker on Linked In updates her profile about a new job.

Could organizations take advantage of the social media? Why, yes they can. And, many are!

Organizations with employees spread all over the country, or world, can unite via discussion groups. Companies can keep in touch with alumni employees, in the hope of maintaining a positive image and perhaps wooing them to return. Businesses can conduct JIT brainstorm sessions. There's a million things to do!

So, in considering the uses and purposes for the social media I employ, I've decided I am not an egomaniac. After all, the readers, followers, friends, and connections could opt out.

You Neede Mine Skillz

2009-03-05T08:42:00.003-06:00

An administrative assistant who posts a self-promotion on a networking site better not have typos in her post. A creative marketing agency better have a creative web site. Someone who tauts himself as a great referrer better give referrals. An executive who disparages another's leadership ability ought to be a good leader himself.

One might think those points are obvious, but they are not so obvious to four people I've had contact with in the last week.

No matter what you tell people you are good at, the truth will show through.

If the gal was the best admin, as she claimed, she would not have two typos in a three-sentence post. One is given fifteen minutes to alter a post, so she had time to fix it. Her errors reveal her to be someone who does not pay attention to detail and does not check her work. While a typo in an informal email is generally acceptable, it is not acceptable when posting about one's skills looking for a job.

You get the gist.

Be careful about how you present yourself, as people will see the truth. Be what you claim to be, or become what you wish you were, and know that if you do not, people can tell.